Anyone Have a Highly Sensitive Child?

Updated on December 22, 2009
M.M. asks from Southlake, TX
8 answers

My 3 1/2 year old has clothes issues. She does not like to wear socks, long sleeve shirts, leggings, shirts under her jumpers. As soon as she gets home from preschool, she changes into her silky pajamas. She tells me her clothes are uncomfortable. My question to anyone with a highly sensitive child is......did you also find that your child was ADD, ADHD, OCD, bipolar or gifted? I have read that sometimes this oversensitivity in children will also have other problems and I am just trying to keep my eye out for any other issues that my arise.

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K.K.

answers from Dallas on

Our sons has not had any of the issues listed, but he does have dysgraphia, it is a writing issue. He is ten now and I wish I would have known more about earlier on before he became very set in his writing ways. It not only affects his legibility but also his sequencing and creativity. Allother area's in school he is excelling. Reading and comprehension is not affected.

He does have some behavior issues, as crowds and space issue's. He can get quite grumpy. At 3 his writing was fine, but progressively got worse as he got older.

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S.G.

answers from New York on

YES! My son was the same way with clothing and NO it does not mean there is anything wrong with your child (I thought the same thing when he first started with all the clothing issues at around 3 years old). I do know that sometimes it means there is something else going on medically, so to be sure you should of course speak to your ped about it, but in my sons case there was nothing else wrong, he simply liked to be comfortable.

When I gave up trying to get him into cute outfits and let him be, we stopped having fights in the morning before school. We had one REALLY bad incident when he was asked to be a ring bearer in a wedding and getting him in the clothes the day of was a nightmare. He finally agreed to put them on and then he started to hyperventilate he was so upset about how uncomfortable he was. He also would not participate in karate when he was 4 because they insisted he had to wear the stiff uniform – no matter how many times I washed it to soften it, he would put on the pants but didn’t’ like the idea of tying on the belt. People suggested to us that he might have OCD or Autism.

He is now 7, still wears what he calls "fluffy" or "comfy" clothes - no jeans, or button down shirts (but for special occasions he can now "suffer" thought it). Our Dr. said it's more of a control thing, particularly when they can't button or zipper themselves yet but even though at this age he can of course manipulate the button/zips, he still likes to be comfortable and will pull off his socks/shirt as soon as he walks in the door.

We worked with it like anything else you teach your children and stopped making a big deal of it. We explained that at home you can wear what you want (drives my MIL crazy she says he’s never dressed- LOL). He know that we will do our best to let him go MOST places in comfy clothes, but sometimes we will need him to dress appropriately (i.e., for a wedding) and we aren't against bribing if necessary ;-). He now wears the karate uniform because he REALLY wanted to join. He also LOVES skiing but didn't want to wear all the gear - guess what??!! He "suffers" though it because it’s for something he likes to do - so we think the Dr is right that it's a control issue - hey, kids are told what to do in every aspect of their life I guess some figure this is one thing they can control ;-). Hope that helps settle your mind a bit that it might not mean it's a serious health problem. Good luck!

BTW – my son is a straight A student (is actually a bit bored with the curriculum at times), has a vocabulary that is way beyond his years, has tons of friends is very friendly with everyone he meets and is very well rounded taking cooking and sports classes and defiantly does NOT have OCD or even the slightest bit of autism. So MAYBE, just MAYBE these things mean that they are super smart NOT that they have a medical problem ;-) just trying to give you hope I know it’s very hard.

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M.B.

answers from Dallas on

Yes, I have a highly sensitive child and I was one myself - I would just take off all my clothes and run around naked though, so be thankful your daughter finds her pjs to be comfy. I also used to go outside and take off my shoes and socks and can't tell you how many pairs of shoes I lost as a child. My youngest son is the same way. I used to have to cut all the tags off his clothes - you are also lucky that they now make alot of tagless clothes, including underwear.

And, yes, this high sensitivity tends to be systemic, however, I don't think it will necessarily get as extreme as bipolar. Both my son and myself do have ADHD tendencies and are both gifted (mensa IQs, etc.) . I am also OCD.

The good news is that one thing that we found to be the biggest effect on improving the situation was to remove gluten (protein found in wheat, rye, barley and oats) and dairy from our diets. You can get her tested her to see if she is having immune reactions to these foods:
www.enterolab.com

One reason this diet change helps so much is that when a person is having food reactions, they have systemic inflammation, in particular to the gluten which is an autoimmune reaction and not just an allergy. This inflammation makes one feel very "icky" inside and thus external things just aggravate people like us more. That's where the ADHD comes from as these food substances impact the brain and thus the chaos in the brain is reflected by the external behaviors.

I can't encourage you enough to have your daughter tested. You can google "gluten" and ADHD and find lots of good information and there is also published medical research showing the correlation. The diet can be difficult at first, but is so worth the effort. My sons weren't diagnosed until they were 8 and 10 and if I knew about this when they were your daughters age, I could have saved us all alot of pain, grief and frustration. As a mother, it is so difficult to see your child dealing with these problems and feel there is nothing you can do. I was SO thankful to find that by changing their diet I could help them (and myself). They were old enough to really know the difference and thanked me for figuring this out. My younger son (now 14) still tells me regularly that I'm the "best mommy in the world".

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J.H.

answers from Dallas on

I took care of twin boys that had issues with the textures of clothing. They had ADD, Teretes & OCD's. I think it was related more to the OCD's, but not 100% sure. Have you tried different fabrics, the boys were ok with certain fabrics. Hope this helps, I would hate for you to think something is wrong when nothing is. it could just be the she only like certain fabrics and she may be avery expensive child to clothe!

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B.B.

answers from Charleston on

My son's 3 in a few weeks, and he's doing this a little, loves to be naked, and I was the same way. I always had to wear my socks inside out, so that the seams wouldn't rub on my toenails, and I hated a lot of fabrcs, to this day. My son shows the same signs now, nothing scratchy, etc. I'm a little bipoar but like alot of crazy people, my I.Q is "genius" level(not that I'm bragging, I haven't done a damn thing with that).And judging from what others have noticed in my son, he seems to be above average intelligence(I'm trying not to sound like a creep here, I really get annoyed by braggish parents). He is also very active. I can't figure out the exact correlation, because my son's family tree is chock-full of nuts and addicts/alcoholics, so I keep saving for a "college/bail-legal defense" fund, because I'm certain it could go either way!

P.W.

answers from Dallas on

This is very common with ADD, but I wouldn't jump to any conclusions if this is the only "sign." Maybe she just doesn't like the style you have chosen for her.

I have an ADD child and he also loved to be naked. He is an amazing creative adult. So if your child is ADD, although there are challenges, consider it a difference and not necessarily a "bad" thing.

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J.R.

answers from New York on

Hopefully I can help--I am a special education teacher and started a clothing company for kids with sensory clothing issues. we just started--and so far the feedback has been great from parents and kids. You can find us at www.softclothing.net. Also, we have resources on our blog and social network to help find therapeutic methods to help with sensory sensitivity. You are definitely not alone--I hear from hundreds of parents weekly. We will have socks in April 2010--no toe seams.

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L.M.

answers from Kansas City on

My daughter is 10. She had issues with socks and leggings, especially, and other things. Loves super soft clothes and pajamas, and would rather not wear much at night because it is uncomfortable or hot. She has mostly outgrown the sock and legging thing. I can't emphasize enough NOT to worry. Certainly it is always good to watch our kids health. I think it her age it could be partly sensitivity or even independence. I would go with it and not get into power struggles. My daughter loves those fuzzy socks, and had the best luck with lands end and gap and gymboree.

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