Anyone Else Hate the Facebook Life People Lead? JFF

Updated on July 26, 2012
P.N. asks from Bennett, CO
25 answers

I notice that a lot of people I know IRL, put things on FB that make their real life seem so great, and really, it isnt! I also notice that passive-aggressive people tend to use FB as a way to get their "digs" in, and it's really annoying to me. I tend to lurk a lot on FB, and not post much, for this very reason. Kind of like when you post something cute your kid did, and you know your sisters get on there 12 times a day, and you KNOW they read it, but they refuse to comment or "like" the post. I hate this! It makes me feel high-schoolish, and definitely makes me think less of them too. I know, I know, you smarta$$es on here will just remind me that I don't *have* to post or even log on, but its so darn compelling!

So, what bugs you about Facebook?

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Oh Bug-must you miss the JFF part of post? *sigh*
However-

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A.G.

answers from Houston on

I hate how people think fb replaces a real relationship. I've had friends get mad at me and have even defriended me bc I haven't commented on their posts like "Off to the beach with the kiddos...here's hoping for a nice tan!" or "Making sushi for dinner". And yet, when I see them, they hardly have a thing to say to me in person. lol I feel sad for them!

7 moms found this helpful

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I love FB. I'm on it way too much. I probably post too much too. But I don't care. If you are interested in what I'm doing and my life, great. If not, unsubscribe me. No loss on my part. I don't stress that much about it. Like I'm not sitting here wondering what everyone things about my last post. And in fact, last night at 7pm I posted, "why is it so hard to make friends?". I had 40 replies on there with people agreeing with me! I thought I was the only one with NO friends, but apparently, MY friends have NO friends too!!! LOL!!! I try not to be cryptic, I hate that. And I don't wonder if someone is spying on me or not, I assume people are because, well, thats what people do. Nothing really bugs me about it. If someone is doing something that bugs me, I just *unsubscribe* to them so I don't have to see their posts...problem solved! =)

3 moms found this helpful
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B..

answers from Dallas on

Wait, you think less of people if they don't comment on something you post? Am I reading that right? Kinda (a lot) childish, if so.

I use facebook to keep in touch with friends and family out of state. I don't use it for self affirmation, or comments. Perhaps, that's why there isn't anything that bugs me.

3 moms found this helpful

More Answers

M..

answers from Detroit on

Personally, I would prefer people to pretend their life was great, rather than always bitching and being negative.

The only thing that bugs me about facebook is how seriously some people take it.

13 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

I have my husband's niece on my Facebook, yeah I know that makes her my niece too but I can pretend can't I? I hate the, "everyone knows what you did, you aren't fooling anyone" post and the like. Ya know the ones where they think they sound cryptic but pretty much just sound immature.

Okay and my one friend with her forty posts a day about how she loves her husband, her son, her daughter, her family, her dog, god.....I could live without that.

Oh and could someone please explain to me when when I block all things Farmville they still come up on my news feed?

I love Facebook, can't you tell?

11 moms found this helpful
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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

The only vex I have is my STBXH :D

He definitely does the pseudo-life post thing.

EX) Our son was in the hospital for 5 weeks last year. He came to visit a whopping 3 times. (I was living in the hospital for those 5 weeks). Yet he was doing hourly facebook updates, raking in tons of whatever from concerned friends, making stuff up (like "We'll be home tomorrow!" when his docs are thinking a few more weeks... Or making a 'no biggie' thing sound like the end of the world. That may have just been ignorance. Since. He. Wasn't. There.)

Ditto... When he made a bunch of single income family friends... All of a sudden it's tons of posts about how lucky blah blah blah (in support of a SAHP, and how hard my (as the SAHM) job is, and what a great job I'm doing, and how awesome homeschooling is... Then come home and tell at me that I'm just a lazy blah-blah-blah.... And swear up and down in court he never wanted our son homeschooled.

He's just a total poseur.

________________________

What I DON'T have a problem with are 'scrapbookers'. Whether pictures, posts, whatever that are cataloging fun parts of their life. To me, that's great. Ball games, concerts, snowmen, hiking, roller skating, etc.

THESE THINGS ARE ACTUALLY HAPPENING.

Unless, you know, you're posting a fake life, like my ex.

Some people record everything, some people the good, some people the icky, some people the imaginary.

I LIKE the positive. But that's me. I didn't take pictures of my son in the hospital when he was in a bad spot... I took pics of him grinning.
___________

LOL... I'm not posting my divorce on Facebook (in fact I have a VERY private blog instead), but you should SEE the muckraking he's been doing on there. Dude beat me up, hurt our son, got all of our utilities shut off or on notice, took our only working car, makes $10k per month... And is making ME out to be crazy, drug addicted, neglectful parent, who is taking all his money, etc. from the stuff he's posted *I* would want to drop me down a well and close the lid. <rolls eyes> Of course, it's the hospital-thing from last year all over again. Just made up. To make a douche look good. Eh. Whatever.

7 moms found this helpful
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E.F.

answers from Kansas City on

The only thing I can think of that I've found annoying is that even when I turn off someone's updates they still show up in the sidebar. I find that silly. The people whose updates I turn off are the ones who are negative or dramatic ALLLL THE TIME. The reason I don't delete them is because they are family. So for now, I minimize the screen so that I don't even see the side bar. Voilà! Problem solved.

I've seen memes and statuses on Facebook accusing people of being fake on there. One read, "Here's hoping your life becomes as great as your pretend it is on Facebook". What I want to know is: What makes you or anyone think they are pretending their life is something it's not?

I'm asking that with sincerity and not being snarky. I think I may be one of those people perceived as being fake because I rarely post, but when I do it's usually something lighthearted and/or positive. Pictures of good times not the bad. That doesn't mean I'm pretending that I don't ever get frustrated or have some major issues going on. I just don't want to air the negative. I don't see the problem with that.

As for the issue(s) with your sisters, you can change your settings so that only certain people can see what you post. Maybe if you eliminate the visibility of certain posts or photos from your sisters that will alleviate some of the hurt. Maybe. That way, when they don't comment or "like" your things you'll feel better knowing that it's because they couldn't see your post. :)

6 moms found this helpful

T.M.

answers from Redding on

FB is for entertainment purposes, when it feels less than that-- walk away from it for a week.

I'm not concerned with looking at who "likes" anything I post, honestly. The page moves so fast I don't even remember what was there yesterday.

Don't put so much emotional stock into it, it's not worth it, it's media.... and is distorted like ALL media.

5 moms found this helpful

T.N.

answers from Albany on

I'm with Molly.....I SOOO prefer the Brenda Braggarts to the Debbie Downers!

:)

5 moms found this helpful
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J.M.

answers from Chattanooga on

Yeah, the alter-perfect life. I get annoyed when people use it to lord things they have over others... Or as a political/religious platform to try and get others to believe their way. I have blocked several friends who get SOOO offended when I post religious or political jokes... Which is annoying because I could tell the same joke to their face, and they would laugh... but online? Oh, no... they MUST keep up appearances! Luckily, I don't take FB very seriously, so if someone is making it a negative experience for me... *BLOCK!* lol. I don't need their e-drama. :)

I also get soo annoyed when my little sister refers to our dad as 'Daddy' online... it's like "You are a [email protected]____.com woman, and you haven't called him 'Daddy' since you were 3... Come on!" lol.

I use Facebook a LOT, since I live very far away from my family... so it's my way to keep them updated in our lives, in addition to phone calls. :)

3 moms found this helpful
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S.R.

answers from El Paso on

My facebook pet peeve:

People for whom EVERY SINGLE POST of EVERY SINGLE DAY is some politically charged statement/cartoon etc. I GET IT!!! You hate X candidate. I DON'T CARE.

P.S. I happen to LIKE X candidate (at least above the alternative).

P.P.S. I blocked your posts from my news feed. GOODBYE

3 moms found this helpful
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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Hate? Naw, life is too short for hating the people I see on FB. If you aren't someone I want to actually sit down and dine with for business or pleasure, you don't get on my friends list. I look at it like a virtual scrapbook. You wouldn't keep horrible memories in your scrapbook, so why on FB? If you or your kids take anything online more seriously than real life, then you need to unplug and re-evaluate. If someone likes to get their "digs" in at me on FB, they get unfriended. Take out the trash. Move on. Don't get so upset. If you feel like you have to keep your sisters on your list, you can filter what you show them. My one aunt is on my list...but barely sees anything. On purpose. She can't comment on what she doesn't see.

3 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

My facebook is a lot like my real life. I try to keep it as drama free as possible! Sometimes I am jealous (just a little bit) of certain peoples' amazing careers or travel destinations or whatever but these are all people I genuinely care about so I am truly happy for them.
And anytime I connect with an old friend who turns out to be like the people you mention above I just quietly unfriend them. I've done the same thing with a few family members. I'm too old for high school style antics (though I'm amazed at how many people my age still get off on that kind of thing, including my own BFF, LOL!)

3 moms found this helpful
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K.B.

answers from Detroit on

Some people just take it way too seriously...it's entertainment for me, pure and simple. And a way to stay in touch with friends and family who live far, far away and keep them posted on what our family is up to. And to reconnect with others that I have lost touch with. And to commiserate with others who might be able to relate to whatever I am dealing with at the moment. I tend to keep my posts light-hearted, funny, snarky, or thought provoking. I don't take it personally if someone doesn't "like" everything I put on there - because quite frankly, just like IRL, I don't care.

It's only as high-schoolish as you make it to be.

2 moms found this helpful
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A.C.

answers from Atlanta on

I love FB because I keep moving away from all of my friends, but I really hate the "inside joke" status updates. If most people aren't going to get it, why don't they just restrict visibility to those who will? Especially now, it's so easy. Oh, I know. They want all of us to know they have cute inside jokes with their friends. We get it. And we're over it.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I absolutely hate it when people feel the need to let you know every single time that they work out. A FB friend started P90 and every day updates about her hard workout-I get it already!

Also hate humble-braggers Like - "Oh, my whole weekend is going to be spent on championship baseball with my kids." Or-"Just got back from a week in paris for work and now onto california-life is SO hard. "

Or the moms who need to tell you how supermom they are by reciting everytthing that they get done in a day.

2 moms found this helpful

A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

If I could count the times I ALMOST got into a debate with a friend, and then deleted....like today I wanted to pounce on a girl I know who is defending Paterno and posting lame naive student articles about how he didn't really do anything.....I wanted to literally cut and paste pieces of the Freeh report to refute the sentimental nonsense she was clinging to....but they're friends, not anonymous mampedia people (love you guys :), so I delete, say nothing, and keep my own posts positive. I used to get sucked in to tit-for-tats, but NO MORE! It's been a time and sanity saver....and yeah, I have lots of Debbie Downers blocked except for "very important" posts...

2 moms found this helpful

B.M.

answers from Pocatello on

I totally know what you mean! There is a quote I live by and I think it fits in perfectly with every ones new FB life.
Don't compare your behind the scenes life to everyone else highlight real.

1 mom found this helpful

I.G.

answers from Austin on

I dont like the ones where they change their profile picture 4 times a week and then all the comments that says " oh you look so good! ".......really? ( each picture more revealing than the last ) I mean, how many times a week do you need to be stroked to feel better ? It irritates me.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.H.

answers from Omaha on

YES!!!! I am not afraid to admit that there are things people do on FB that bug me!

1)Braggarts. I have one friend that especially comes to mind that uses facebook for the sole purpose of bragging and the excessive use of exclamation points!!!! <----- heh. check me out! :-P
I mean there are other end punctuation symbols that can be used too. Seriously you could play a drinking game by her posts alone. Looky! Another bragging post and every sentence ends with four exclamation marks even though it's a question! DRINK!

2)Relatives on my husband's side that post all kinds of stuff that I give praise, congratulations, condolences, etc. to and they rarely write a comment on anything I post. I'm not looking for affirmation from them, but if I am supposed to have relationships with these people I wish it didn't feel so one-sided. There it is. Maybe that makes me less of a person, but if one can admit their flaws that's a first good step. :-)
But in their defense, I never really know the reason why they don't post a comment. I can't assume people will react or think about things the exact same way that I would. Perhaps they are using the old adage "if you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all." Sometimes the compliment is in what they DON'T say. Kinda twisted, but there ya go.

I am a facebook junkie. For the most part it is an excellent way to keep in touch with friends and family all over the place. I can honestly say the vast majority of my friends on my FB list are peppy people that have their lives together!
A.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.S.

answers from Denver on

Wow, I think we must share the same sisters! I have been trying to work on the relationship with my sisters, and I must say, FB is NOT helping. One sister who lives on the east coast is always posting about the awesome mom things she does- crafts, outings, food. I was starting to feel insecure about what I do. Until she visited, and popped her kids in front of the tv and spent the whole day playing games, on FB, etc., on her phone. Lightbulb moment that people do exaggerate their lives.

I did give up FB for lent, and I have to tell you, I was much happier. I am working on logging on less, it just doesn't make me happy. Try a trial week off and see if you feel any different!

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T.B.

answers from Miami on

You sound like my sister. She has the same complaint and she has gone so far to delete friends because of their inactivity on her page. You know, everyone uses facebook for their own reasons. I know personally speaking, I only have 101 friends, all of which I personally know. I do not interact with all of them on a daily, or even weekly basis. I am a busy mother of 4. I connect to fb from my phone but I have also found that certain settings in the past have prevented me from seeing my newsfeed from my phone as it is on my computer. I can also tell you that how others have set their newsfeeds may prevent them from seeing every one of your posts. The newsfeed from my computer shows the "highlights" unless I click on "most recent." If it bothers you so much, delete the friends or cancel your account.

What bugs me about facebook? I hate that they made my whereabouts so transparent even though my profile is private (for friends only). I hate that others can see the comments I've made on others' pages. Facebook has changed a lot since I first joined but I enjoy that I can connect with far away friends and family.

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K..

answers from Phoenix on

Yep, all these things & more annoy me about FB, or maybe my "friends" are just really annoying. I honestly don't know why I have a FB anymore. I kind of just want to delete all the "friends" and just keep in the loop on my favorite shows, products, deals, etc.

J.E.

answers from Minneapolis on

During my separation and divorce I posted very little. I was still friends with my ex's family and was very careful what I posted. I only posted good things that the kids and I were doing.
I am amused by the "truth is" on my teenage daughter's wall and her friends. I get annoyed with the older relatives that think its inappropriate she "liked" a page or comment that had an inappropriate word in it. She's not posting the stuff herself and she's a teenager - get over it or stay off her page.
I also get annoyed with a 21 year old neice who shares pictures of engagement rings EVERY day and unique proposals. It's not subtle and I think she's too young. The guy who posts political stuff 10x a day I no longer see because it was just annoying.
My ex had apparently "blocked" me, but then could never see the pictures of our kids so he had to change that - hehe. Get over yourself! Don't care what you and your little girlfriend are doing.
Yes, I'm a bit crabby today.

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J.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

I saw this saying on one of those funny postcard sites:
Pinterest makes me like people I've never met...Facebook makes me dislike people I know in real life!

I find this to be very true, lol!! I have turned off updates from really close friends because I find their postings annoying!! Gym every hour of the day, tired from work, feeling sick, my kids are the greatest thing ever...lol.
Funny though, in real life these people are great friends to me and I love them! I
I love FB for the family/friends I don't see often and can see how they are doing through pics, etc.

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