i think when i had my daughter, i was harder on myself then anyone else was. i was determined to breastfeed (no matter how much it hurt) because i wanted my daughter to get the most important part of breastfeeding, the 1st couple days (that yellowy stuff) gives anti-bodies that help keep your kid from getting sick all the time. not only did i hear it, but i did "surveys" my brother was breastfed, i wasn't, i was sick ALL the time, yet he was only sick once (1 major sickness, and few colds here and there, while i had chronic illnesses). and asked other family and friends, and it all pointed to the fact that i SHOULD breastfeed, even if just for a couple months.
well, my daughter refused to latch on (because the stupid hospital didn't abide by my wishes, and gave her 2 bottles when they were instructed that she was to be STRICTLY BREASTFED!) but i wound up pumping for the 1st month, until i couldn't bare to pump anymore (not much came out because there was no breastfeeding at all).
now, NONE of my friends breastfed. so basically, i had the exact opposite problem then you, i had to justify with EVERYONE WHY i wanted to breastfeed when there were so many formulas out on the market! it should be YOUR choice. THAT IS IT. now, from my experience, with all my friends kids being formula fed, and ALWAYS SICK, and my daughter being formula fed AND having the 1st month of breast-milk thrown in, and only being sick maybe 2 times (and by this age, my friend's kids were sick at least 10 times) i would suggest that if you DON'T want to breastfeed. maybe just pump right away, getting the best part out and giving it to your child. unfortunately, i can't for the life of me think of what it's called, all i know is that it looked like a "snotty" kind of discharge, it was almost yellow AND give formula...just with this part of the breast-milk in between bottles. and then once you see that the breast-milk starts turning to look like skim milk, then just stop and go straight to formula.
once again, i am ONLY saying this because of my personal experience between my kid, and my friends' kids. i just wanted my child to be healthier then how i saw all my friends' kids. now, that's not to say that your son isn't healthy...and if he's healthy, and doesn't get sick that often, then i wouldn't even question what you did before.
THIS IS YOUR CHOICE, YOU CAN'T ALLOW OTHER'S OPINIONS TO UPSET YOU AND MAKE YOU THINK YOU'RE A HORRIBLE MOTHER!!! LOOK AT YOUR SON, IF HE'S HAPPY AND HEALTHY, THEN WHAT YOU DID WAS RIGHT FOR THE BOTH OF YOU! but if you want to "see" if it's better to try breastfeeding, or try pumping for the 1st couple of weeks, then that's fine...who knows, you may enjoy it. or, it may be too much on you...IT'S YOUR CHOICE. just remember, you're their mother, not these other people who are making you feel bad, what's good for them may not be good for you. OH, 1 little extra thing...i was told that breastfeeding tightens the tummy...just 1 little extra plus that i personally saw.
sorry for the LONG RANT. i hope that i was able to ease your mind in even the slightest bit. good luck, and remember, YOU know what's right for YOUR kids! listen to the suggestions, just don't let them get to you, do what YOU feel is best, and if YOU don't want to, then you shouldn't! GOOD LUCK, AND CONGRATS ON THE NEW BABY COMING!