Anyone Designed a Womanhood/menstruation Celebration?

Hi H.,

I always intended to have a celebration for my daughter when she got her period. My thoughts were to get her something like a charm bracelet with a moon charm and a basket with all the "essentials" in it. What she really wanted was to get her ears pierced for the second time. My poor daughter got her period at a rest stop on the way home from Florida. It wasn't ideal to say the least. We talked a lot about it and she didn't want friends or family involved. She wanted something quiet and special. So her and I went out for a fancy dinner and then I took her to get her ears pierced.

I have 3 daughters and I don't know what I will do with the others. I think if you just ask her and plan something special and meaningful for her, she will always remember becoming a woman in a beautiful way.

Hope that helps.

K.

Personally I would have been mortified if my mother did that for me, but to each is own and there is something to be said about celebrating and embracing womanhood. I'm glad that you feel close enough to your daughters to do that for me. That being said, if you want something that is just for you and your daughter, then maybe an activity rather than a party. Do something both of you have wanted to do but never go around to doing, Present her with a gift that signifies the change or that she is turning into a woman (necklace or a book that celebrates the change), a small dinner at her favorite restaurant. Hope you and your daughter enjoy whatever you chose to do.

Like many others, my mom took me out to dinner. I found it a little embarrassing, especially since she kept crowing to everyone we met that I was 'a woman now'. I felt like just telling her to 'stfu'. Her heart was in the right place, but a little sensitivity would have been nice.

I think, buy a little goddess pendant and present it to her, give her a hug and ask if she'd like to go to dinner somewhere nice, but definitely keep things quiet when it comes to telling other folks why you're celebrating. lol ;)

I would have loved a purposeful gift, something beautiful to keep. How about the start of her own collection of something. I love the ornament idea for a young woman, so when she leaves home or has her own place, she has Christmas things. Take her shopping for what she says she would love. I am 64, and still have a dresden ballerina that my dad brought me from a trip. Plan a special day, and a special lunch, someplace really nice.

This is a tough one... I, personally, would have flipped out if my mom did that to me - I would have been totally embarassed... but, that was mostly due to the not-so-close relationship that we had. Now, as a childbirth educator, I'm all for celebrating reproduction and making it a normal part of American culture!

Check out these sites:
http://www.sistersmidwifery.com/MoonSisters.pdf
www.daughters.com
http://www.daughters.com/article/?id=227&page=1

Not only is this a time for celebration - but a time for education (without judgement).

Maybe even something as simple as lunch/dinner & ice cream with mom - and maybe a cute purse (i.e. something to carry her sanitary needs in).

I have only have sons and have never heard of a celebration but when I (being the only daughter in the family)started my Mom and cousin, took me out for the day. We went out to eat and down to the historical section of our town. It has brick sidewalks and old time stores. I am a bookworm so we found a bookstore with tons of books. They let me get 3-4 books, paperbacks. Then we went to the ice cream shop and got these huge waffle cones. It was something that we do not normally get to do. Just a girls day. I am not sure if this will be what you need but I hope maybe you can use some of it.

When I started my mom took me to dinner and then to the store and bought me a razor and shave cream cause I had been begging to start shaving LOL She figured I was old enough now to shave. Maybe buy her something special?

My mom and me had a day just to ourselves. We went to the beach and then had dinner at a nice restaurant. Just the two of us. I felt so grown up. Probably anything that you two enjoy doing together and that will make her feel like a grown up.

As the mom of two little girls, I think that is reallly a nice idea. The first thing that came ot my mind is that you should focus on motherhood. This event is particulalry about the ability to become a mother. It is a wonderful opportunity to express how happy you are to have become her mother. And how happy you are to now share the fact that you are both "women.' And it is also somewhat a teaching moment in that it can emphasize "Hey, you can become a mother now... so now we expect a lot of responsibility in terms of how you take care of your body!!!" sort of message. I know tha tnot all menstrating women choose to or can have children, but I think that this event is an important symbol of the opportunity or potential for motherhood which is the best job in the world.

H.,

how about a private mother-daughter spa day or evening. Here is a link to an article:
http://www.mothering.com/saturday-night-spa
They started when the daughter was much younger and it is a regular event for them. Sounds really neat, I think, makes me wish I did not just have boys LOL

But whether or not it becomes a regular thing, it may be a wonderful special time for the two of you, with plenty of time to pamper each other, discuss all kinds of topics and have something out of the ordinary. And it can always be topped off with an ice cream treat or such :-)

Have you read The Red Tent by Anita Diamant? She touches on such a ceremony (whohc may not be exactly what you are looking for). Throughout the book various rituals and ceremonies relating to women and women's reproductive life are touched on, and it may provide you some ideas.

You say you're UU - are you familiar with the Adult RE course Cakes for the Queen of Heaven?
It's been many years since I took it, but it seems to me that somewhere in there were some references/suggestions for various rites of passage celebrations, first menstruation would be one of those. Check with your RE person, or minister, or simply search the UUA website to find more info.

Another resource that might inspire you to come up with adaptations for your own little ceremony would be either

Mother Rising - The Blessingway Journey into Motherhood by Yana Cortlung, Barb Lucke and Donna Miller Watelet
or
Blessingways - A Guide to Mother-Centered Baby Showers, Celebrating Pregnancy and Motherhood by Shari Maser.

While it may appear that I am jumping the gun here, as she is just about to menstruate but is far from becoming pregnant and a mother herself, these books celebrate the women's bodies, the natural way of things, they contain many little ideas for honoring and respecting our bodies, to be comfortable with our bodies, along with recipes, songs, etc.
I think you might well be able to look through these books and see that there are ideas in there that you can easily adapt for your specific purpose.

Have fun with it, nice to see a fellow UU on this list :-)

I plan to go and get her, & we will spend the rest of the day in bed eating pizza, popcorn & ice cream (what I crave when I was menstruation), talking about it, products, etc.

ask her if she even wants to do that. if my mother would have done that for me i would have been mortified.. my mother didnt know until i was 17 that i had even started my period.... and im like your daughter a bit shy... so ask her she may want you to just leave it alone if not then ask what she wants to do.maybe take her to her favorite restaurant.....periods are not fun and are not something i would ever celebrate... they are a pain lol..