My daughter Emmy is 7. She has always been an over thinker and very sensitive. Worrying about other people's situations, their feelings, and so on. Things hit her hard. If someone is upset or disciplines her it can upset her for hours or days. She pushed her cousin once (who didn’t even get hurt, J. told on her) and she cried over it for days saying how bad she was…we never even punished her, her aunt even told her it was fine. She isn't able to let things roll off her back easily. Her father (my ex husband) definitely needs to be on anxiety meds, he admits it. he definitely displays a lot of these traits she has. I'm not sure what to do or how to help her at this point. She's had reflux since she was born and is now on meds for that for the last 5 months and I think quite possibly the worrying is causing that to not go away as well. She has the same tick her dad has of flicking her fingers over and over when still also.
Sorry for the unnecessary details.
It's gotten so bad now that when we talk about one day going to Disney or on a cruise she cites planes that have crashed or the titanic or other boats that have sunk. It doesn't help that she loves history and watches documentaries with her grandpop since she was 3, about things that don’t go over to well with an overly sensitive kid. We joked once and told her that she could no longer eat candy in fear of choking or go in a car, and she got the point and became silly about it too and said she wanted to go to Disney and on a plane. When she was 2 1/2 she wnet on a plane to Disney and she loved it. she goes on rides, isn’t afraid of jumping off high heights, obsessed with the monkey bars and in the fall when we went to a fair she did a flip in the air going down one of those huge inflatable slides (she never even learned how to do a flip, J. decided to try), the whole crowd worried for her saftety and she did it three more times, so its quite odd that in reality she does things and takes chances in some areas but in her little mind she is quite the worrier. she doesnt want to do a sport this summer in fear of getting hurt or being bad too.
Any thoughts? anyone have a worrier for a kid?
I do, a 7 year old, and I was one. I am trying to figure out if it is time for her to get someone to talk to about her worries. I don't want to make it into a big issue, but I had a miserable childhood because of my anxiety. I stumbled across this website that has a lot of good info... www.worrywisekids.org/
My 11 yr old daughter, has always been a worrier. This year, it has turned in to full blown anxiety and panic attacks. Due to that, she is suffering stomachaches and insomnia. She started seeing a psychologist recently. The doctor told M. that she has probably always had anxiety, and that it finally got to a point where she couldn't deal with it anymore. This explains her need to control things, her angry outbursts, her crying over minor things...
It sounds like your daughter could benefit from some counseling.
My youngest is a worrier. Not like your daughter - but a worrier - do we have enough gas? (don't know where he got that - it was one of my worries when I was a kid - but there's a story that goes with that as well).
I would make an appointment with her pediatrician to talk about her when she is NOT there so she can get an evaluation and official diagnosis so you can get her the help she needs. You will need to find out how to support her and keep her "focused" (for lack of better words) or distract her from her worries without making her feel bad for her worries.
When we go on a trip - my youngest says "how much gas do we have?" I stop at the gas station and fill up. If I didn't do it the night before. I show him how much gas we have and how far we have to go. But this isn't the level of worrying you have.
Wish I could give you more help!!
No, but get this, I tended towards bold, brazen, and unremorseful as a child. My brother, sensitive, anxious and self-flagelating. I would do wrong despite correction, he would punish himself for even thinking about doing something wrong.
He's since grown less sensitive, less anxious, and is a big time adventurer.
Best,
F. B.
Like 1andDone below my daughter has anxiety that also presented OCD type behaviors following a traumatic event. At that point I got her into therapy. It was J. too much for her (or us) to handle without professional help.
Your daughter certainly sounds like she suffers from anxiety, which will likely spike during times of stress. I would start looking into therapy now. Start with your pediatrician for referrals of local therapists who specialize in anxiety in children. Sadly it's more common than you think and sometimes it takes a while to get an appointment.
Good luck, I know all too well how hard it is!
My daughter has anxiety which has worked it's way into borderline OCD. She sounds a lot like your daughter and a couple of the others below.
My daughter has always been a worrier and very sensitive. Her breaking point and what really brought out v the OCD tendencies was the Sandy Hook shootings and the tornadoes that followed not to long afterwards where children were hurt and killed in their school.
I would highly recommend counseling. Start getting a handle on this now and start finding ways for her to learn how to manage her anxiety.
Best wishes!!
Also if anyone ever wants to talk about this please feel free to message M..
My son, age 7, is also a really anxious kid. I guess he comes by it honestly because I was always anxious as a child too. We started taking him for therapy in the fall, and he's seen a lot of improvement. He didn't want to go, but I told him I'm doing it for him, because I was an anxious kid who really needed help, but my parents never got M. help. They tried to talk M. out of my fears, tried to show M. when i was being irrational, tried to make light of it, by turning it into a joke, and once my mom even grabbed M. by the shoulders and shook M., told M. I needed to get a hold of myself. If I were in your shoes, I would definitely do therapy--for my son, it helps him to hear things from an adult who is outside of the situation, who doesn't have the emotional investment. And it's helpful for M. as a parent to get ideas of what I can say that will help, and what i've been doing that is counter-productive. I know you said you made a few jokes about her anxiety--that's natural, but please don't do that. My parents did that to M., and I remember it felt awful, even though I laughed it off at the time. It made M. feel as though they didn't take my fears seriously, when these fears were grippingly real to M.. And also made M. feel like it was somehow my fault, like if I could only joke and laugh, it would all go away--that I was somehow being too serious. I wish you the best of luck--for us, we wanted to go down the route of finding a therapist who treats anxiety in children primarily through play therapy and talk therapy. Our therapist has gotten my son to identify and label his fears, and make physical representations of them. They worked together to make a box of solutions (can't remember what they call it). Anyway, it's a physical box that he can take out when he's anxious, and there are items he chose and put in there (some created from clay) that serve as anchors and reminders of ways to deal with his anxieties and fears. We've been happy with our choice--in fact, we J. got back from Disney, and my son did really well. It's improved not only his anxiety levels, but also his level of communication, both with family and others. He seems more free to express his feelings, opinions, fears and preferenes. I feel like therapy can only help him--I never got help, so I feel like he is gaining insights and tools that he can use now and apply throughout life (I had to learn a lot on my own, over time). Good luck to you whatever you decide--you'll get through this.
