Anyone Adopted an American Child?

Updated on May 11, 2010
L.1. asks from Fort Walton Beach, FL
10 answers

Curious about how the process went. Was it stressful, expensive, and time consuming? Not the child lol, but the whole experience. I'm interested in adopting in the future, I'm sure it varies from state to state, but just want to hear some experiences.

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A.S.

answers from Dallas on

My little brother was adopted internationally so no help there, but my friend's adopted a cps child. For them, the process was fairly quick since the child was already for adoption and in custody of the state and not just a foster child anymore (so the mother couldn't change her mind). If you don't mind a specific age/sex/ethnicity it could go faster. Those wanting Caucasian newborns usually have a longer waiting list. If you go through cps you do have to take classes. That is about all I know, so hopefully you get more responses. And yes, there are going to be some horror stories, but there are lots of great experiences as well. Just research a lot of agencies and get lots of referrals!

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C.R.

answers from Dallas on

We have adopted twice through Gladney's ABC program. Both times we waited about 3 months before a placement. ABC program is adoption of Bi racial children. Both times the process went smoothly but the first was nerve racking since it was our first time to adopt. LOTS of paperwork before getting to the "waiting" phase! Cost? Well for us each one was slightly over 10,000. We decided to use Gladney since there was no out of pocket expense of medical care or cost of living we had to provide to the birth mother. Also if the birth mother changed her mind, (which happened to us at least once during both waiting times) all monies go toward the next placement and we loose no money. We felt having the emotional risk was enough for us. I can't stress enough that you need to really take your time and check out different agencies. Not all are the same at all and have no standard policy. Decide what kind of adoption you both are willing to do (open, semi open or closed) and check on agencies that do them. Most have an orientation that you can attend to find out information and ask questions. My biggest personal advice to give to you is that you should never take someone's opinion serious if they themselves have never gone through the experience. Most of the time people mean well and want to offer some help but can really freak you out with some bad stories of a friend or a friend of a friend. Too many Lifetime movies! Ha.
Keep guarded and share only with close personal friends and family till placement if you are the sensitive type.
All in all it was and is an incredible experience for us. We are now a complete family and my boys are awesome! Wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
Best Regards,
C.

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T.M.

answers from Boston on

We're in the process of adopting right now we're on the "waiting stage". We are doing it through an Agency (as agencies tend to be more reputable and thorough).Every state has agency ans personally that's what I'd recommend because there are workshops you have to attend which are really helpful whether you're an experienced parent or not because there's a lot we didnt know of getting in to it even though we have a son of 22 months, and then get certified by the State. Most times yuo'll know half way through these workshops if this is something you're up to. One thing though, you have to be verrry patient if you decide to get into it because wait time varies case by case, dont take other people's stories serious because people can mess you up. Be sure to do your homework about the process. As for us...we're still wating for a little girl.

All the best!

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C.S.

answers from Victoria on

We adopted through Gladney. We started the process oct 03 & our gotcha day was 2/28/05! I consider Gladney to be the cadillac of adoption agencies. they are the oldest in Texas & know what they are doing. Regardless though it is a roller coaster journey. Our profile was sent to at least 13 birthmoms before we were picked by one. Ours is closed, meaning the birthparents only know our first names. They however were very open with their information, so I know theirs & where they live. As for costs, well, they kinda price based on income. Ours ended up being around 26,000. Not all at once, but still hard to come up with. It has been the single best decision of our lives and I have never once missed that money! I have piece of mind too that there can be no reversal or that something didn't get done properly. Best of luck.

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R.J.

answers from San Diego on

My son's uncles have been in the foster to adopt program for about a year now. TONS and tons of classes (hundreds of hours), and about 25k. The expectation of beginning to placement date is 2 years, and then another year until they can file for adoption. These are kids who are wards of the state. Since they're in the foster-to-adopt (instead of foster) program they also do NOT get money from the state for any psych or med or basic needs... so they can't afford to take children who are going to needs several hundred k worth of medical treatment or therapy (which are the majority of the infants and young children in this program), hence the long wait. AKA they're waiting for someone to voluntarily give up their healthy child (or die with no one able to take the children), instead of taking an abused & or addicted child.

My aunt & uncle adopted 2 children through the tribes... only took about 3 months from initial interview to placement. Cost about 75k. Also an agreement that has the kids on the Res for a certain period of time every month. In a lot of ways... it's more like my aunt and uncle were adopted INTO the tribe, than the babies were adopted out.

My best friend WAS the adopted child. A "twilight"/"surprise" child of a mum in her 60's. It was a private adoption... and all her birth-mum wanted was an open adoption and legal fees taken care of.

M.F.

answers from Tallahassee on

Hey there -I adopted my 3 children through my State/local DFCS. Cost in money - ZERO - time - YES - classes run for about 11 weeks, 1 evening a week for 4 hrs I think it was.
M.

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L.C.

answers from Raleigh on

I have couple friends who adopted through "Foster to Adopt" program. One friend did not care if kids where mixed race, so she got a boy and a girl, paied nothing and everything was finished within a year. Another friend wanted cocasian child, it has been 2 years and it's just at the end. Not sure why it matters , but it does.

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G.M.

answers from Miami on

My husband & I tried to adopt an American child from the foster care system in FL. We were asking for a girl up to age of 12 years old. We were not picky about problems. During the year's time, we fostered 10 children at different times. At the same time, we put in an application to adopt from Russia (2001). We finally received a referral for a girl with major problems the week we were leaving for Russia. Needless to say, we turned down the 12 year for the twin girls from Russia. The twins took 9 months from start to bringin them home. The fee was the same as if we adopted 2 babies from the states.

B.K.

answers from Chicago on

We were in the process of adopting from Russia (the paperwork was daunting to say the least) when miracle of miracles, we like to say God dropped a baby on our lap. We had asked our pastor to write a letter of recommendation for our homestudy, and he heard through the grapevine that someone who knew someone who knew someone was looking to have her baby adopted. So, yes, we adopted from within our area code instead of going to Russia. That was 12 1/2 years ago. We started the process in January of 1997 and we got our baby on Nov. 14, 1997. So, not so long. I know it doesn't work out for everybody that way, but if you want to do it (and I highly recommend it!) then you just have to get going on it and see what happens. Our birth daughter was 9 when we adopted her little sister. It made all our lives complete. Message me if you have more questions!

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S.S.

answers from Santa Barbara on

I have one international adoptee, but have been considering a second domestic. I am interested in the answers the other mamas provide. Thank you for having a big heart and to all the families who consider adoption a viable alternative to starting/growing a family.
S.

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