Any Thoughts on Pacifier Use or Any Alternative?

Updated on October 12, 2006
M.Y. asks from Oak Park, IL
24 answers

Our 11-week-old son wants to suck everything his lips come cross--his hand, my neck, a towel, our shirts etc... We understand that sucking is his natural need to comfort himself, and I always offer my nipple when he is sleepy. That works fine now since I am at home with him all day on my maternity leave, but when I return to work and someone else watches him he obviously won't have my nipple there for him.
We are reluctant to introduce a pacifier because he might become too dependent on it, but don't want him to start sucking his thumb either. Now I started to think that pacifiers aren't too bad after all--if you use it wisely.

Any thoughts and tips on this topic from experienced mothers will be helpful!
Thank you!

1 mom found this helpful

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So What Happened?

Thank you everyone for your wise advice! It was overwhelming to read all the responses. We decided to try a pacifier on our son for sleeping needs only as a start. I do still believe in natural parenting without too much artificial devices involved, but if our son is happy, that is what I want.
Thanks again!

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C.D.

answers from Chicago on

The American Academy of Pediatrics have recently said they believe the use of a pacifier at sleep time may reduce the risk of SIDS. Here's a good article about it.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2005-10-16-baby-pacif...

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C.S.

answers from Chicago on

Hi from another first timer! I must say all the baby books really had me SOOOOO worried I was damaging my daughter by giving her a pacifier. It kept me awake at night. But as you see from this board, most mom's have had no problems with them, and they've been a big help in soothing. Mine is 4 months and uses hers to wind down for naps.... and I'm much more comfortable knowing that most people have no problems. Good luck and congrats on the little boy!

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Y.H.

answers from Chicago on

Hi, I too hated the thought of using a pacifier, however, my mother in law badgered us so much we started using it when my baby was 1 month or so (she was staying with us to help care for the child for several weeks.

My nephews have sucked on pacifiers until they're 3 and I hated the sight of such a big kid with a binky constantly in his mouth.

However - I agree with the other posts that if you limit the pacifier to particular situations, it's not all bad.

My baby is 3.5 months now and he only wants it when he's sleepy or restless in the car. When he's awake and content, he has no desire for it. He will also chew on his fist from time to time, but he wants the paci when he's sleepy.

A friend of mine let her babies suck on her nipple for comfort instead of using a pacifier and she developed the problem of producing too much milk.

It will probably be a pain to take the paci away when he's older (I'm going to try at 6 months or so) but if it makes nap time and bed times more peaceful for now, why not?

Best of luck.

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C.S.

answers from Chicago on

M. - At this point in time sucking on stuff is a real comfort. My first son had little interest in a paci, but the second one needed it for colic, it helped his stomach issues. the docs and literature we read just said that to avoid having the whole issue when they GIVE up the pacifier is that you can take it away from them at say 6-7 mths, and then they won't be as attached, they are passed that oral sucking phase and you won't have as much trauma. it worked beautifully with both (though again, the first one wasn't really addicted).

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H.J.

answers from Chicago on

Hello, and congrats on your new baby.
I have 2 girls, and in my experience, my youngest could not be without a pacifier for the first 4 months. She weaned herself off at 5 months, and never showed interst again. It was a comfort for her, she was also colic. My oldest we had to convince her to give it to Santa so he could give it to another little girl. Thankfully it worked, she was 2 when we did this. Try a stuffed animal to replace the pacifer, obviously when he is older if it takes longer for you to wean him. I find nothing wrong with a pacifer, if it soothes them, what is the harm? Good luck to you ;-)

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M.W.

answers from Chicago on

Hi,
Often people are reluctant to use a pacifier but they tend to forget what you mentioned which is sucking is a natural need for comfort. The baby is going to suck something regardless but in most cases, these may be things that you cannot ween him from like a pacifier ie., your nipple or his thumb. I've read messages on here how people have placed things on their kids thumbs and or how kids suck their thumbs until age 5. Here's a classic one for you, one of the American Idol 2006 contestents admitted to sucking her thumb until age 20! Our daughter got rid of her pacifier at age 2. She bit a hole in it and I made a big deal out of it and how damaged it was. I said "oh no, now we have to throw this in the garbabe" and she took it and tossed it herself. Can't do this with a thumb or a nipple! :-)

Good luck
M.

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R.P.

answers from Chicago on

My mother has always said, "He won't go to college with a pacifier." So I think whatever you have to do to soothe your baby is just fine. It's impossible to love them too much.

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S.

answers from Chicago on

We did the pacifier from day one. Our little boy loved it and sometimes we thought he over used it, but it does come in handy esp when traveling on the airplane, etc. We then started doing it only for naps and sleeping at night when he got around 22 months. When he was almost 26 months we just took it away and he never asked for it and we have never looked back. Everyone will have there own pacifier story. Worse case - you will take it away and suffer a few really bad days and then it will all be okay. Just take it away before he is five! HTH S.

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A.L.

answers from Chicago on

I would recommend the pacifer as stated early you can take this away but you cannot take away the thumb. My 3 year old sucks her thumb and I am having a heck of time getting her to stop.

I think the problem comes when parents use the pacifer to keep the child quiet rather than cuddle and spend time with them. I think if you use it sparingly while still spending quality time with them it is fine.

My babysitter wouldn't use the pacifer and now I have the wonderful task of trying to get her to stop sucking her thumb.

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T.H.

answers from Chicago on

My son uses a paci, and we've had no ill effects. My daughter sucks her thumb and she too has no ill effects. They both mostly do it when really tired or strung out. Good luck.

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S.M.

answers from Chicago on

Like you said, I would rather have my kids have a pacifier than suck their thumb because you can't take the thumb away. My oldest had a lot of issues and sucking on a pacifier seemed to soothe him. He went through a point when he was about a year where he wanted it all the time. At two years he could only have it for his nap and at bed-time (it wouldn't be in his mouth the entire time he slept, just to fall asleep) and at 2.5 he was off it completely. My younger son used one too, but not as much as his brother. At one we cut him down to naps and bedtime. He will turn two on Saturday and he has been completely off the pacifier for a month. I really didn't want my oldest on past 2, but with his issues he wasn't ready to give it up. I didn't want my kids to be one of those kids who were 3 or 4 and still walking around with one.

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J.

answers from Chicago on

I let my daughter use a pacifier when she was little. I figured she was going to suck on something and a pacifier can be taken away, while a thumb cannot. She was only allowed to use it to go to sleep (or sometime when she was really upset). I ususally didn't let her walk around with it.

She gave it up without much fight when she was about three.

Every child is different, as are all parents. Good luck with whatever you decide.

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J.C.

answers from Chicago on

Sorry hon... but I say give him a pacifer... both of my girls love/ loved their pacifer. My oldest daughter just gave hers up on day... I think you'd be surprised how they can wean themselves.

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R.N.

answers from Chicago on

If he has the need to suck that badly and you don't give him something (pacifier) he WILL find his thumb. And the thumb is a very hard habit to break. My first born started sucking his thumb at about 3 months and was still sucking it in his sleep when he started 2nd grade. The only reason he stoped was because he had an expander put in his mouth to get him ready for braces. The pacifier you can get rid of, the thumb is always there. Good luck!

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C.

answers from Chicago on

We allowed my son to use the pacifier for comfort. I thought that if I used it wisely (as you say) that it would be fine. I was right. After he was a few months old, I limited its use to: when he's crying or going to sleep. Other than that, he was not offered the pacifier and was perfectly happy with that. His need for it lessened gradually. He was completely off the paci at 10 months. Good luck!

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K.

answers from Chicago on

Hi M.,
I have a 4.5 month old son who took a pacifier for his first few months. When they're little (less than about 4 months old) they really don't have any other mechanism to comfort themselves, so a pacifier is a good idea if it works. Once they get to be about 4 months old, though, they can find their hands and pick up objects. At that point you can stop the pacifier cold turkey and they should only take a day or two to adjust to its absence. At earlier than 4 months you aren't really setting up any perminant habits.

You may end up with a thumb sucker, but that's actually a better alternative if you think about it. You can't lose your thumb! Plus, most children naturally will grow out of the thumb sucking thing. Now is also a good time to start giving your boy a "lovey" - some comfort object that he can snuggle with. That should help too as he gets older.

I say give him the pacifier WHEN HE NEEDS IT FOR COMFORT (not all the time) but otherwise put it away. My 4.5 month old doesn't even really use his anymore - to the point where we no longer bring it to his babysitter's house. But, there were times when he was younger where the pacifier prevented some serious breakdowns (like in the grocery store). They definintely have their uses.

Also, if you're BFing your boy (which it sounds like you are) I would recommend the Soothie brand - they seem to be the most nipple-shaped. The flanged orthodontic ones (like NUK) tend to make babies bite down on them - not a good habit if you're BFing! My boy never liked the 3 month+ ones - even now on the rare occasions when he takes one he likes the softer newborn Soothies.

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L.

answers from Chicago on

Using a pacifier is not a guarantee that the child will not still suck their thumb, but it is a useful tool for many children, without ill effects. Some children just have a strong need to suck on something. They will out-grow it. I'd be more concerned about offering the breast for comfort, since the breast is for food. You certainly don't want to create a food equals comfort situation...

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A.S.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter used a pacifier the her first 7 months and I only gave it to her when she was tired and well fed. At 7 months, she rejected it and started sucking her fingers. I wish she had stuck with the pacifier, as I'd have a lot more control over taking it away now that she's almost 2. Can't really take away her fingers. I agree with some of the other posts that if he has such a desire to suck, it's probably better to offer a pacifier (and hope he sticks with it) than to let him inevitably find his thumb or fingers... It is a tough call, I agree.

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M.P.

answers from Chicago on

Good Morning fellow mom, my son is four 1/2 years old. He used a pacifier his first year. The first six months he used it a lot, then I tried to slow him down with it (cause boy do they get attached to them). You know pulling it out when he really didn't need it. About one week before his first Birthday I threw them all (3) in the garbage. The first two weeks were hard for him not have that comfort. But he got over it. He did the usual trying to pull it out of other kids mouths, crying. But time went by and he grew out of it and forgot about it.
Stress the big boy thing. Those are for babies! Right mom. Oh yeah you know what I did. I replaced the pacifier with a blanket. Some other moms replace it with a teddy. Some don't replace it with anything. Every child is different and when he's a year you'll know what to do. My point was I took my son to the dentist two weeks ago and the dentist said his teeth were perfect. So as long as you take the pacifier away by one year old he should be fine. Pacifiers aren't bad. Enjoy your bundle of joy while he's still a baby. They grow super fast. Hope I helped.

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S.H.

answers from Chicago on

I was totally against using a pacifier...until I had my daughter! I did limit the use of it for SLEEPING TIME ONLY!! I hate when little kids are running around with pacifiers hanging out of their mouths!!! My daughter is 2 1/2 now, and she still uses a pacifier for nap time and at night. It is a comfort to her, and no one even knows it unless they are staying with us.

Good luck with your decision!!

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

M.,

Hello, My daughter Sam used a pacifier for her comfort since from the day she came home from the hospital. I never had any negative thoughts about a pacifier. Like you said your breast will not always be there for him so he will need another way to comfort himself.

There are so many to choose from now adays verses when my Sam was a newborn. My other 2 girls never took to the pacifier. they had "blankeys".

My girls are older much now but comfort still comes the same for our babies.

J.
www.noahsarkworkshop.com/jodigilbert18

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R.K.

answers from Chicago on

Pacifiers are not the monsters that people make them out to be. I breast and bottle fed my son and he had multiple pacifiers to comfort him with no ill effects. He didn't turn away from me or the nipples by using a pacifier.

I would suggest trying him out on one on a limited basis - short spurts of time to see how he takes to it. The biggest problem (in my opinion) is when PARENTS over-utilize the pacifier as a plug. Give it a try.

Good luck.

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C.U.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter is 20 months and uses a pacifier to nap and sleep at night, and our doctor said to cut it off at the age of 2, since she is depended on it, he doesnt recommend us cutting it out before then so she does not turn to thumb sucking, which is a harder habit to break since you cant take their thumb away. If you decide to use it try and break your son in the 6-9 month range. Good Luck.
P.S I read somewhere that some kids have a stronger need of the comfort that they get from sucking then other kids do.

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A.S.

answers from Chicago on

Hi, M.!
Go with the pacifier. They do need to suck, suck, suck. As long as you nurse him when he is hungry and his weight is fine, give him a pacifier. It can save the sanity of everyone in your house. Also, he will really need one when you return to work.
Amy

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