My boyfriend of about 6 months suffers from chronic back pain high up between shoulder blades, usually same side. And migraines. Often weather-related. Whenever a storm is coming, BOOM his head and back start hurting. He had neck fracture less than ten years ago that may be a contributing factor. Apparently over the counter meds have little to no effect. He's in fairly great shape and very strong with a physically strenuous job.
I'd love to tell him to do yoga regularly for preventative reasons and to improve his overall flexibility (he says stretching does help and he does stay stretched out as much as possible) ...but realistically, you can't tell someone who's uninterested in yoga to do yoga 3 times per week and expect them to do it. And weekly deep tissue massages are financially not an option... He just lives with it but I'm wondering if there is anything I can contribute that may help. Today for example he's in so much pain he's not working. Hs job is flexible and he can make up the hours, but I hate that he's so uncomfortable.
Anyone have any favorite products they use to manage this type of thing or tips?
Mamazita, condescending much? I've been doing yoga for 20 years. Which is why I know how incredibly difficult and beneficial it is, and that you don't just tell someone to do it out of the blue and expect them to put in that kind of work. Also, I'm not young. Which is how I know people have different experiences with different issues to draw from. Which is why I'm asking a forum. I'm divorced and in a new relationship with someone whose chronic pain is also somewhat new. Seeking information and offering help for things is not becoming someone's mother, but thanks for your various assumptions.
I have chronic back pain and a knotted muscle just under my shoulder blade (it has been that way for over 10 years). What works for me are regular visits to my chiropractor and the muscle therapy either right before or right after my adjustments.
I would recommend a good chiropractor. They are worth their weight in gold. Our chiro specializes is sports rehab.
Clearly, as a grown man the first thing he needs to do is go to the doctor and see exactly what's going on.
Second, I'm not sure what you think yoga is but it is a pretty serious workout. My husband and I recently (about six months ago) started going a few times a week and it's not easy, even for my husband who is in great shape and a lifelong athlete. Don't get me wrong, it's awesome, and we love it, but it's not at all just a "stretching" class. It's very much a workout and a commitment, for both of us.
If he is uncomfortable then HE needs to do something about it. Nothing YOU can do, at all.
I know it's hard when you are young and trying to "help" your boyfriend grow up and all, but really if he's passed his mid twenties he should be able to figure this stuff out by now, and if not, is this really the kind of "man" you want to be with? Personally I don't want to be any adult's mother :-(
I am a female with chronic back pain but I can give what I use to manage it. I have monthly appointments with a massage therapist. On top of that I try to take several baths a week in warm water with a eucalyptus bath foam made to deal with chronic pain. I also know my limits. I can't sit in a chair that doesn't have a back or sleep with out a body pillow.
My son's pal had similar problems. He consulted a doctor who was a sports doctor, a sports rehabilitation specialist, even though the injury and the pain had nothing to do with sports. However, often pain/damage from playing sports at an elite or college or pro level can be very similar to pain from old injuries and physically demanding labor. Plus, guys are sometimes more agreeable to going to a sports doctor; it just sounds more "macho". My son's co-worker got great relief. Maybe your boyfriend would see that kind of doctor for help.
Have him go to the doctor and get a prescription for physical therapy. Then find a physical therapist who specializes in myofascial release.
My husband has suffered from chronic pain for years. He has done every test and every therapy you can imagine. He's had surgery, nerve blocks, lots of medications (regular and pretty far-out). He did biofeedback, chiropractic, massage and talk therapy. It nearly broke the bank and made little or no difference. It impacted his (and my) social life. He ran regularly as a method of pain management but it wasn't enough.
After decades of frustration and expense and consultations with every type of specialist who all just gave up on him, he really got very depressed. I couldn't blame him. He didn't even have a real diagnosis for most of those years. We didn't have any info about a family history since he is adopted.
The only thing that has made a difference is a quality approach to supplementation and anti-inflammation. He's much much better now - not totally out of the woods but we know he will get there. There is so much damage that it takes a while. Now that I've studied epigenetics and the damage to cell that is not permanent and can be reversed, we're well on the way to a pain-free life. His "bad days" aren't a "9" anymore - they are a "4". And there are far fewer of them. He doesn't take anything for pain except a natural anti-inflammatory that also repairs damage to the epigenome. I wish we had known about this 20 years ago.
I know how hard it is for him - and also how hard it is for you. Chronic pain is a family disease.
First he needs to evaluated by a physician. Then you need to have him follow the directions of the doctor.
It will probably mean seeing a specialist who will then come up with a regimen.
I have a slipped disc, which as led to sciatica problems. Sports therapy including sports massage (intense), acupuncture, Steroid injections, sitting on ice or heat depending on the pain..
Oh, and if he is not willing to see a doctor? He is not allowed to complain.. I cannot tolerate who complain but will not seek professional help.
I saw a special once on back pain and they said that the best thing for chronic back pain is relevant exercise. The program said that often it is very hard to work through the pain initially, but the proper exercise cured the back pain in the majority of cases.
My sister broke her back years ago and never got it healed properly, she is still dealing with insane pain and doesn't take the steps *I* would take to fix it.
My brother broke his back twice while serving in Iraq, he deals with insane pain from that and loss of feeling from the waist down on occassion. Again, he doesn't push as hard as I would to get it fixed.
My husband had knee surgery and was back to playing softball 4 weeks later - no shock that he sat out most of that season and this last season as well.
You can't force people to get the help *you* think they need. He's likely dealt with this his whole life and you can't change his mindset on his pain.
Aside from you offering to give him back rubs, suggesting a doctor, and just being there for him, there's not much else I can think of.
I agree with mamazita, she said he needed to get checked out before starting any exercise class especially Yoga since it's so hard. That's good advice.
I also think he knows what feels good and what hurts. He could go to yoga with you and try it but chances are he'll hurt way more. I have protruding disks in my neck, back, and lower back. Yoga would nearly put me in the hospital.
He needs to get checked out and see what the doc finds, I'd go to a bone doc too, so they can find the nerve/inflammation/muscle issue that this might be.
