Any BabyWise Mommies Out There??? Need Help

I have a 2 month old and am a first time mom - and have been trying really hard to get my daughter on an eat and sleep schedule, and was frustrated that I couldn't do it! Anyway, my pediatrician yesterday told me that at 2 months, erratic is normal, and that not until 4 months can I really expect any of my attempts to stick - until til then, one day is different than the next, I just try to keep to the motions as much as possible!! Hope that helps- some days it works and I feel like Queen of the world, most days its not even close!

First off, I'm going to say I am not a Babywise fan for many other reasons, but my response is going to come from my experience nursing two kids exclusively. In my opinion, 2 months is barely enough time to get on a good set schedule. At this age, the baby is going to be going through a lot of growth spurts, and will need to nurse more often at times as he needs more breastmilk, and in the process trains your body to produce more milk by being more demanding. Feeding on demand is what I have done, and the scheduled feedings just happened without me needing to watch the clock. Some days when they were going through growth spurts, I felt like I was a human pacifier because of how much they were nursing, but this is completely normal.

I also was able to get on a good schedule by going back to work full time, so it forced my body on a schedule and the babies just followed. When I was working full time, I pumped 3 times a day - on my morning and afternoon breaks and at lunch, and then would nurse the baby when I got home from work, and again before bed. I was only getting up a couple times in the middle of the night to nurse, then nursed first thing in the morning before heading to work. Having to be forced on a schedule due to work forced the babies on a schedule. But this didn't happen overnight, and I didn't even realize they were on a "schedule" until it happened.

My only advice for you if you want to exclusively breastfeed is to nurse on demand, especially at this young of an age.

Hi! I believe the most important thing for Babywise is to keep the order of eat-play-sleep, eat-play-sleep (which you are already doing for the most part) and the 3 hour guideline is but a guideline. While you're trying to figure out your baby's schedule, feed him immediately after he wakes up from a full nap/sleep, noting that the feeding should not be more frequent than 2 1/2 hours, but you might be able to stretch it to 3 1/2 hours and possibly longer. From there you will be able to figure what is the optimum time between feedings. The other thing I would suggest is to switch breasts before he disengages. There is also the possibility that he gets enough from one breast within the 3 hour window. If you can stretch out the feeding more, there is a better chance that he'll sleep through the night. Finally, in the initial period, you may want to just focus on the feeding schedule during the day. Once he is adjusted to that, the night feeding will become easier. Try starting your babywise schedule first thing in the morning, rather than at midnight. Pick a good day to start if there's one, i.e., a day that your baby is happy and well rested the night before. Hang in there...it will get easier. Good luck!

I think there's a difference between a routine and a tight schedule. The pediatrician Dr. Ari Brown of the book Baby 411 says that when parents followed Babywise to the letter, "babies become dehydrated and did not gain appropriate weight (called failure to thrive)." It is not recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics and it even issued an alert regarding the strict guidelines the book endorses. Dr. Brown gives a review of 5 methods from a pediatrician's perspective in her book.

In any case, I wouldn't feel bad about not starting prior to now since newborn to 2 months is a unique time. Dr. Brown says that sleep routines should start when the baby begins to become aware of his/her surroundings (at 3-4 months). Many methods don't even suggest starting until 4 months. Perhaps you should check with your pediatrician to see if he/she feels that your baby will thrive under the Babywise conditions.

Hi,
I started out on BabyWise, but had so many questions that I ended up using The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems. It has the same schedule but helped answer my questions about sleeping and feeding. It may help you, too.
Best of luck,
C.

Hi T B. Sounds like you are doing the right thing with trying to get your son to get a full feeding. I think once he starts doing that, he will put himself on a good "schedule." Also, have you re-read the book? I have 20 months between my first and second sons, and had forgotten some things. As soon as I re-read it, things fell into place a little better. My little girl (3 mos now) doesn't follow the eat, play, sleep routine to a tee, but does pretty well, although I did not read the book a third time. The hardest thing with her is getting her to take a full feeding, too, because she loves to sleep as soon as she gets warm and is sucking on something. I think it is BabyWise that suggests it takes about 3 days for a new routine to fall into place, so I'm sure everything will be working out soon. Congrats on your new son! Good luck!
- N.

I used BabyWise on both my kids. The first one was textbook. The second one... not so much. Give it time, try to be flexible. My advice is: don't let it make you crazy if you can't stick to things exactly. Instead, use it as a goal to work towards. You can sometimes help baby extend his sleep, but you can't *make* him sleep. The one thing I would really attempt to avoid is letting him fall asleep at the breast during a MEAL (with my second, I did use the breast to soothe before naps if my attempts to leave him in the crib failed - he never took a pacifier, argh). Of course, when they wake up early from a nap, should you feed? That's the toughest question. I might feed a little earlier then scheduled if baby is hungry, but attempt to stretch his awake time until the next nap cycle. If baby gets overtired, throw the book out the window, nurse him to sleep and get the nap! :) You can always retrieve it and try again the next day. Good luck and have confidence that you know what's best for your baby (who I promise, will be different from the first and leave you scratching your head thinking you forgot how to raise a baby!!).

I am a user and supporter of babywise but I will agree with Kathleen that 2 months may be a little young. I know the book says you can start at birth but I didn't start using the method until my son was between 2 and 3 months old. I do think there is an initial period where you should just worry about both you and the baby getting the hang of each other and making sure the baby gets enough food no matter when it is.

I will also say that while I like the principles in babywise I also think that every baby is different and you need to take that into account. With my son we were on a 2-2.5 hour schedule for quite a while even though the book said we should be at 3-3.5 hours based on his age. I believe he was getting full feedings, he just needed to eat more. He was a big baby and is still tall for his age.

I would also suggest trying to adjust his schedule so that he "goes to bed" later. Sounds like his first strech of the night is his longest 7:30-12:30 so if you put him down at 9:00 or 9:30 and you go to bed at the same time then you can get a good 5 hour block of sleep and be in a much better place for the rest of the night and next day. This might also allow you to only have to feed him once "at night" if he sleeps from 9:30 - 2:30 you can feed him at 2:30 then again around 5:30 (hopefully). At that point you might both be up for the day which is not too early of a time to start your day or you may choose to go back to sleep until 8:30 and start your day then. It can be up to you at that point but I think it could help you a lot. to shift his bed time to be more in line with yours so you can maximize the time you have to sleep.

Good luck.

I too do the Babywise method, and it is awesome. I would stop doing the feeding every hour because he didn't get a full feeding before - I would just start fresh in the morning and start your day at whatever time it is that you start your schedule, and then stick to it for the day no matter what. If you are getting 5 ounces from each breast when you pump, he probably can't take in that much. I know that the book said if you are having trouble getting them to stay awake during the feeding, then there are some things to do to keep them awake. Make sure they are not too warm and cozy while you are feeding them, kinda tickle their feet to keep them awake, put a cool washcloth on their feet? I think it said....I can't remember all of them, and then ultimately, it said that if they still don't stay awake that you put them on the ground on a blanket on their backs, and they will usually wake up within 10 minutes, and you can continue feeding them so that they get the full feeding. Hang in there, If you stick to it, it will make a huge difference. I started the schedule when my daughter was 5 weeks old, and the first day I did it she slept a 5 hour spurt during the night and within a week was sleeping the 8 hours. It took a couple of nights of her waking, and fussing for 5 - 10 minutes before she went back to sleep, but I just looked at the clock, it seemed like she fussed for an hour, but I thought I will give it 15 minutes, and she went back to sleep on her own, and then started sleeping through the night. Good Luck!

I am NOT a proponent of BabyWise, and there are a few reasons why. You only have to look to our own eating habits as adults to realize my first reason. Even as adults we have varied eating habits, times, hunger levels, etc. We don't eat every 3 hours, so why should we expect our babies and children to?

Trust me, I definitely understand your strong desire and NEED to get everyone on a schedule that helps you sleep more because sleep is so important... not just to parenting and every-day function, but sleep also makes milk.

I want to let you know that your son eating from only one side at a particular feeding is normal as well, just as adults snack during the day. There are many factors to consider when you're exclusively breastfeeding. He may eat on both sides at one feeding, then only on one side at the next, and so on. And it may vary from feeding to feeding as well as day to day.

I also agree with the first poster when she advised about growth spurts and baby nursing often to increase your milk supply to go with his increased demand. If you put him on a schedule, your milk supply could suffer, and you may ultimately end up weaning earlier than you want to. Breastfeeding - especially exclusively in the first 6 months - is ALL about supply and demand. The more milk that goes out, the more milk is made. From what you say you're currently pumping, it sounds great! 4-5 oz is awesome!

When it comes to pumping, unless you're getting ready to go back to work soon or trying to build up a supply in the freezer, try to limit your pumping sessions to a 2-minute session just to relieve the ache and pressure in your breasts. You're at a critical stage right now where your supply is finally regulating to what your son is demanding, and if you don't need the extra milk, you pumping is going to send the signal to your brain and breasts to keep making all that milk. The cycle will continue.

In the future, if you have any questions (however small it may seem to you) about breastfeeding, please feel free to call Nursing Mothers Counsel at (650)327-MILK. You can talk to the counselor on the phone or be referred to one of our peer counselors for more extensive one-on-one counseling. We're non-profit, and we provide our services for FREE to all breastfeeding moms at all stages, prenatal through toddler years. You can also check out our website at http://www.nursingmothers.org for lots of info and worksheets! Enjoy your little one!

Hi- I don't know much about babywise but is it possible you're over thinking this a bit? I never trained my kids to MY schedule they just started to eat/feed more predictably around 5-7 months. With both of them the crazy erratic newborn naps and feedings started to emerge into a couple of daytime naps 5-6 hours of solid night sleeping and 5-6 big feedings per day. As the pattern emerged (similar but not identical for each) I just encouraged that schedule and within a couple of weeks we had a pretty predictable day. Sometimes with an older child you don't want a rigid schedule as you may be out more than you were with your first. At such a young age maybe looking more to the baby as to sleeping and feeding times is a good idea. Good luck, as you know this doesn't last long!