Anxious Toddler Thinks "Someone's Going to Get Me"

Updated on July 04, 2011
M.H. asks from Philadelphia, PA
8 answers

For many months now, our previously (and frighteningly) independent 2 year old has been fixated on the notion that "someone is going to get her". She'll think she heard something, or saw motion outside a window and instantly becomes nervous and anxious and wants to be held- genuinely afraid. This has gone on since about February. Now in the past week, she's completely freaked out. She has gotten up two nights in a row with the notion that someone in a blue car at the park said they wanted to eat her. Now we are all completely freaked out. The only thing I could figure is maybe someone said something on the playground and she interpreted it the wrong way, or maybe it really was some world class creep. She has always been independent and does her own thing and makes friends fairly easily, but now she's acting clingy, which is a first for her, and exhibiting aggressive behavior like hitting other kids (past three months) and biting (past two days). She doesn't attend pre-school yet, and we limit her TV time to low-key pre-approved programming. I have no idea what's going on. This paranoia has become incredibly disruptive and upsetting to the whole family because we don't know how to help her. We've tried talking about it with her until we're tired. She was up for an hour, twice, last night, vividly describing how scared out she was about the person in the blue car at the park. The only thing I can think to do is call the pediatrician and get a behavioral consult or stop going to the park for awhile (and even letting her go to the park with friends).

What can I do next?

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D.S.

answers from Allentown on

Hi, Marabelle:

I would stop all TV viewing for 2 weeks.
See if this changes anything.
Good luck.
D.

1 mom found this helpful

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A.C.

answers from Wichita on

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3 moms found this helpful

A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

2??! Is she closer to 3?? Even still. My 2 year old barely talks, so I can't imagine this, but her older sister (now 5) was extremely early with talking, but even with full vocabulary, would not have had the detailed stories of what she was afraid of at 2. My two year old does get really scared or sudden unknown noises, vacuums, thunder, etc and clings and is terrified for a few minutes. She was always very slow to warm up to people and easy to scare unlike my other two. But we always turned it around to being OK and didn't let her milk it for too long after being comforted.

If it's not medical, the actual clingy-ness and fright are normal, and will pass if you don't react too strongly or ignore it. Just give reasonable empathy and comfort, but don't let her milk it. Discipline the hitting and biting, because all kids try this and continue if it's allowed. It may or may not have anything to do with the elaborate fears, but she's way old enough to learn not to do that. It's almost always "frustration based" but kids can still learn it's not allowed. We disciplined hitting at 18 months for my older 2 and 1 year for my youngest.

My kids did latch onto catch phrases to talk about for reactions-which the blue car at the park could be, or MAYBE she saw a creep there. But let's say while you weren't looking, a predator approached your daughter and said something really frightening to her. Or made a frightening gesture from a parked car. In all honesty, she wouldn't really get it at 2. And I'm guessing she was never alone long enough for that to happen. And obviously no one got their hands on her at the park, right? And MAYBE, like you said, a kid playing monster said he was going to eat her. And she saw a blue car. I wouldn't keep her from the park or read too much into it.

I personally think she is going through fear and anxiety stages, and clingy-ness, and practicing aggressive behavior.

These can all be normal 2 year old stuff as well as results of something sinister. Definitely talk to someone, but I would treat her like a normal kid having some anxiety and clinging phases (normal, happy kids turn clingy and scared on a dime all the time at this age and then back to cheerful again randomly) unless things continue on a really weird path.

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M.P.

answers from Columbus on

Marabelle,

My thoughts are with you and your daughter and your whole family. I was actually just logging on to ask a very similar question. My 4 1/2 year old daughter has a very similar, appearingly irrational, fear - the only difference her's is related to weather. Even on beautiful days she refuses to go outside. She is in a pre-k program and now this anxiety has spilled over to a serious hate of going to school because she knows at some point she'll have to go outside.

We had started seeing a counselor for her a few months ago to deal with other ongoing behavior issues (very hyper, inability to focus, impulsive decision making) and he is helping us with this. I don't have strategies yet but I hope to soon. They are observing her at school tomorrow so they can see her in the middle of her stress and anxiety. If you'd like to keep in touch please feel free to email me at ____@____.com.

I wish you all the best!
M.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Definitely talk to your pediatrician about this. This seems like odd behavior for someone so young and for her to have such details is weird. Maybe she saw something or someone said something to her? I don't know.. Good luck..

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E.F.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I also think you should call the pediatrician. It could be nothing, or it could be something very serious, and I think it is worth checking in with a professional either way.

L.G.

answers from Eugene on

Take her to a homeopath. She has a miasm which may be genetic in nature or she picked up from someone else.
Philly has tons of wonderful homeopaths. For a child this young the treatment should not take long. Also make certain the one you go to gives only one remedy for the problem not many. They should use 200c at least. Ask in advance before you pay money. Make certain they practice only homeopathy and not a smattering of things. It takes 10 years to become a really good homeopath.

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N.P.

answers from Mobile on

I would try and get her some canceling. If she knows the details and they are the same every time, I would be concerned about a creep! Poor girl!:( Hope you can comfort her soon!

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