Anxiety and Procrastination over Preschool

I would defintely call your local school district and ask about developmental screening for your son. It sounds like he is going to need some help getting ready for Kindergarten next year. They will assess his skill level in several different areas: fine motor skills, gross motor skills, speech, hearing, etc. and will be able to get him any extra help he will need, such as getting into a Headstart program. Do this for you son, please. Good luck!

I agree with what Missy said. I have taught KG and I really feel like you need to get him evaluated through the school district. They have some great services to help him get ready for school. I would check into this right away. My son started speech through the school district at 3. They really helped him out and he is was exited from the program when he was 7 after making a lot of progress over the years.

The school will not be able to wipe him and will expect him to do it on his own. There are some programs through the district for preschool children where they might be able to help him do that if he's unable to do so, but again, he'd have to go through an evaluation process.

Learning sounds like it's been a struggle at home, don't get too frustrated with yourself. There really could be more going on. I know this might freak you out a bit, but it's best to get things checked out before he's in KG because many times they can give him the services he needs to catch up, maybe even before KG...

I wish you the best of luck. Good job checking into all this now! :)

You do not have to have your child vaccinated to go to school. Every state has exemptions. Here is a link to the exemptions for NE: http://www.nvic.org/Vaccine-Laws/state-vaccine-requiremen...
You might not want to opt out, but you can send him without vaccines. So many people don't know that.
It does sound like your son needs some time with you. Do you read to him? What do you do with him during the day? Do you see him more as a bother than as your child that you are responsible to teach and care for and nurture? I'm not sure how else to ask that question. Parenting takes a lot of time and a lot of gentleness. Why doesn't your husband want you to call the local school? Why would you do things behind your husband's back? Your son is his child too. I guess I'm just really confused over your question.

Your son doesn't sound like he is ready for school. Its ok! Its better to wait until he is and have a good experience. I wish I would have waited with my youngest son. He just couldn't succeed no matter what. He just didn't get it most of the time. It is a good idea to put him in preschool. Just short periods of time may be really good for him. He will also see other kids going potty there and decide its ok. For you, stop beating yourself up over this! You don't have to take the blame of everything that is wrong. You can do what you can do, and that's all. Do read to him often. Set the rules and then stand by them 100%. Everyone that is involved with your son wants him to succeed.

We have our son in a preschool through the school district, and no they do not go into the house. THey even bus the child to the school. It is really nice and it has helped him out so much. However, your kid must be current on all shots in order to be allowed in the preschool.

The school will probably have you come to them. I am almost wondering if you just get him in preschool and let them take over for a while. They are trained in dealing with kids and recognizing what needs to be done to help them thrive. It sounds like you really do have some problems that you need some assistance on. I wouldn't worry about your husband either, you are doing what you are doing in the interest of your child, don't let your husband intimidate you.

Good luck.

I agree with Missy. Please contact your local school district and have your son screened for developmental delays. Most of them offer FREE preschools or other programs for children that meet the criteria and he will be working with trained therapists that can help him in the areas where he needs it. My son was speech delayed at age 3 and I had a very hard time working with him. He and I both became frustrated because I didn't know the best way to help him. He needed someone with training in speech therapy. Now he is completely on track at age 4. I think children sometimes respond better to learning new things with an outside teacher (they are sometimes just too comfortable with mom and dad and reluctant to try new things.)
I am so sorry that some people are accusing you of not doing anything with your child. If you weren't trying to work with him, you wouldn't realize that he is delayed. Not all children are the same. Some need a little extra help from people that have training and expertise. They can even teach you how to best help your child. (My son's speech therapist showed me how to work with him and it made a world of difference. I was a former elementary school teacher but had no clue how to help develop proper speech.)

The earlier you start the intervention the more likely he will be ready when it is time to start Kindergarten. Once you know more about where he is delayed, maybe you can do some research and help your husband understand how he needs some extra help to get on track and why it is important. (Sometimes seeing those test results- help make it more "real.")

Best wishes to you!

I think it would a good idea for you to call your local school district and ask for their "Child Find Coordinator". The district can provide a free evaluation for your son, and it can be outside the home. The Parent Training and Information center for NE would be very happy to explain this process and give you a number to call. ###-###-#### / (800) 284-8520 or ____@____.com , http://www.pti-nebraska.org/

Your son's vaccinations are not up to date - that's something that you can fix and could have avoided. You don't 'have the slighest clue how to do things' (maybe try to help your son by taking the time to read books and learn from the Internet). Your husband 'doesn't do anything to help your son'. (why not ?) Your son isn't fully potty trained but you 'give up because you cannot deal with the tantrums'. Kids will be very cruel to your son if he has bathroom accidents at school.
Kids do require alot of inconvenience and patience but that's part of their learning process (and the adult process too). Maybe it's time to put your son's health and welfare as a high priority ? If you need help then ask questions until you find it and take advantage of the support available for the benefit of your son. 'It takes a village to raise a child' no one has all the answers (especially me) but it's important to get your son on track now to give him the best possible start in life.

If you get him into a preschool then you will have other adults helping you prepare your son for his first day of kindergarten. My daughter had bathroom issues too but her preschool teacher and I worked TOGETHER on it and in two months we had resolved the problem. He will also learn from the other students in his class. Pre school teachers deal with all kinds of personalities and many will be well equiped to help your son. I started my daughter in preschool for 2.5 hours / day in the afternoon when it was less structured then she went full days once she expressed interest in the morning program.

It sounds like you are blaming yourself for a lot. As long as you are being the best mom you know how, don't carry around so much guilt. Your son will pick up on it & either use it against you, or just won't have self-confidence b/c he may not see that portrayed in the home. Definitely call the school district, otherwise when he goes to kindergarten at 6 it will be a hard transition. He is probably more ready than you think...do you think you don't want him to be ready (he's your baby, etc, etc?). Kids this age need the socialization. Once he sees others pooping on the potty, or knows they do it b/c hopefully the door would be closed in school, he will want to do it. He will want to imitate his peers & be big like them. You need to do this for your son. If your husband disagrees...then I personally think he's wrong. The school district will probably want you to meet at a school to do an evaluation. Take all the resources you are offered...this is probably "Free" as it's payed for with tax dollars.