Anxiety About Bringing Home Newborn All by Myself

Updated on May 04, 2011
M.M. asks from Tucson, AZ
14 answers

I'm due in a matter of weeks with my third baby and i am getting really nervous about it. Bringing home a newborn, being gone from my 2 yr old for 3 days, my 7 yr old getting to school while im in hospital. Anyone else been alone with 3 kids. Or had 2 all ready and got pregnant with a 3rd? I'm scared of not getting enough sleep. Of having a clingy 2 yr old and a newborn that both need me. I was scared when i had a husband now that i dont im even more scared and unsure. How the heck do you do it? : (
EDIT: I dont know if anone else will read this, but with my girls i was strep b positive, so baby had to stay for 72 hours. I tested negative this time. I am so happy, so i guess we will get to leave hospital sooner this time.

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answers from Phoenix on

Just want to add.....People REALLY like to help!!! It makes them feel good! When they offer always say yes! But even if they don't offer, ask! Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful

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answers from Phoenix on

Okay so I have read many of your post about you on going relationship problems with your husband. Honey I am going to tell you from tough love and personal experience. Right now you need to stop thinking aboout your hubby he is gone and doing his thing right now. Don't keep beating yourself up or being scared. Quit playing the victim roll and put your mommy hat on find that inner strength that all us mommies are blessed with from God and I promise you you will be fine. Us moms can handle a lot more than the dads out there. But it all starts with your attitude. You new baby needs to see a happy mommy and feel all the love when he or she arrives. Your children need you right now since daddy is gone and need to know mom is going to be fine so they can focus on school. Yes your 2 year old will need you when your newborn needs you as I have been through this before. But stay strong and positive you have come a long way since you hubby left and done a great job. Keep it up and sorry if I sound harsh I know you love your children from all your post and your hubby is missing out but maybe he will realize how wonderful you are and what is his missing out on when he sees how strong you are and that the love of your children is soooo strong that you will go above and beyond for those babies. Good luck and your going to be fine. Just pray and yes take advantage of the hospital help since when you get home you will be by yourself.

7 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

I have a husband, but the advice is universal.

Ask for help. It's hard and we all resist doing it, but if you need help, ask for it. Make a list of things that you may need help doing. When someone calls and says, "Is there anything I can do to help?"- look at your list and say "Yes, would you mind grabbing a gallon of milk on your way? We're almost out and I don't think I'm going to make it out of the house today?"

People who offer to help mean it and those who don't offer mean it to. TAKE HELP.

Do as much in advance as you can. Talk to your child's teacher and make sure that she knows who will be staying with your children during those three days and assure her that you will send an email when you go into labor. Your 7 yr old may be a little "off" during those days and if the teacher knows ahead of time, she can be prepared to help him or cut him some slack, if needed!

Get meals into the freezer, stay current on the laundry and housework b/c very little of it will get done in those first few weeks. Sign permission forms and pay the bills before you leave for the hospital. If possible, have your 7 yr old's clothing laid out in ziplocs for each day while you are in the hospital so whoever is staying with them doesn't have to fight that battle each morning.

You're not going to get enough sleep, so that one is just a given. I

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Minneapolis on

If you remember with your first two! You just do! Then a year later you look back and say "how in the world did I make it through" Us women are pretty amazing!

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Sacramento on

hopefully you have some family members /or some friends to rely on, if it were me, I would have a hard time asking for help, but have learned the hard way if you don't you will be more stressed than what you are now, so I would say write a list of the people that you think would be willing to help out and ASK! , am sure your 2 yr old will be fine away for a few days(depending) on the caregiver and your 7 year old will get to school on time provided, they are in good hands, don't stress, it could be way I said, make a list, and don't be afraid to ask for help, I have found out that people are much more offended if you dont.. Good Luck am sure it will all work out...

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Phoenix on

You'll make it through! Maybe try to have the 2 year old nap when you and baby nap. When you are feeding the baby, have a stack of books nearby so you can read to the 2 yr. old. Make plans now for getting the 7 yr old to school when you"ll be in the hospital. That'll be one less thing to worry about. The rest will fall into place and you'll get into a routine like you did with the others.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

How do you do it? I don't know but somehow it just seems to get done. I had newborn twins along with a 3.5 yr old and a 5.5 yr old. I stayed home and juggled babies, nursery school and kindergarden. I can't remember exactly how we made it through at the beginning but we did and although things weren't perfect we were healthy, well fed, and relatively clean. lol. I'd say to enlist the help of friends and family as much as possible.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

Take a deep breath. You are freaking out and that's not helping...
You will manage each thing as it happens. You'll be fine.
Those who are home with the older children will take care of them.
There are many single parents who do it and you will, too.


2 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

i'd be worried too, hon. you've got a really hard situation on your plate, and i have such concern and empathy for you.
this is the time to call in all the chips. get friends, family, and acquaintances to pitch in. make your needs clear.
i don't have any good answers, but i'm rooting for you and praying for you!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Phoenix on

I didn't think they kept you in the hospital for 3 days, i remember it being only about a day and a half, i could be wrong (mine are teenagers now). My 3 are all about 20 months apart and yep it was hard. for one, it is not so important that your 7 year old go to school those couple of days if you have a friend/ex/someone to watch the 2 kids for those couple of days. They must be someone in the 7 yr old's class that can carpool her to school. a teacher? the school bus? you don't want to have to schelp all 3 on a strict schedule.
I also would start wearing the baby as soon as possible that way you are not neglecting 1 while tending to another and each will feel important. If you have a good rocking chair you can have the 2 year old on your lap turning the pages of a book for you to read, the baby in the sling nusing...multitasking is key.
Heck, 2 yr olds can fetch diapers.
Sometimes it is easier without a husband. the only thing you can't do without a husband is leave the house when they are all asleep for a grocery run but you can time it as you one major activity together with the kids together. the 7 yr old can help make the list and point to the items for the 2 yr old to put in the basket. Make it fun.
you will not get enough sleep and your house will not be clean enough...but that is par for the course.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Flagstaff on

I always say I don't know how single moms do it, let alone with more than 1 kid, but I know that they find a way and if I were in their place I would find a way to make it work too. You just have to stay strong and not do it all alone. Let people help you as much as they are willing to. Do you have family in the area? If so, ask them for help. Ask them to help you with taking your 7 year old to school and if they can watch the other kids while you are delivering and recovering, inlcuding after you are released from the hospital. If you don't have family in the area, do you have friends or neighbors that could help? I personally don't have any family in my area, but we do have some close friends and neighbors who I would rely on for help. As someone else said, get it arranged now, before you let the panic of it all get to you. For your baby's sake, you need to relax and not worry too much about these things. If you haven't already, prepare your children for a little less mommy time after the baby is born. I have heard other people arrange a certain time of the day to spend a little time with each of the other children so they don't feel left out. I imagine your 7 year old would love to help mom with the new baby, take advantage of their curiosity and teach them how to do certain things to help you out. Make a schedule of daily routines so it is easier to juggle all of it. And yes, you are not going to get enough sleep, but that is just a part of parenthood, don't be scared of it. Making a schedule will help with the lack of sleep, especially if you schedule nap time for yourself while the baby is napping.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Phoenix on

Maybe a little late, but figured I would respond any how. I'm wondering why you will be away for 3 days? I've had all 3 of my kids at home, but even friends that have had kids at the hospital have been able to go home the same day or next unless they have a c-section. As far as clingy 2yo and newborns go, that was my predictament with my last one. My daughter was 2 at the time, and even now at 4 is very clingy. You'll be surprised how much your 7yo can and will help out. If people want to come visit the new baby at home, insist that they bring dinner for you and the kids, or help you out by doing some dishes or laundry. It's the price they pay for getting to come see the little bundle of joy that keeps you too exhausted to worry about such things. It will be hard, but you can do it.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Gainesville on

My husband was in school when we had our second and a 3 year old so he was gone all the time.

Things that really helped me after coming home was having lots of food in the freezer-I made meatloafs, chicken pot pies, enchiladas, lasagnas, pot roast, anything that we liked to eat that I could make, portion out and freeze. It was a huge help to just have to make a veggie and warm up a meal from the freezer.

If you need things from the store don't be shy about asking people to bring things by after work.

I see you said everyone works but is it possible for any family members/friends to come sleep over at times to help you out. Most people, even those that work, would be willing to give up a night of rest to help out.

I would give both kids their bath and get them dressed for bed then nurse our daughter while reading stories for bedtime to my son then go put the baby down. That way my son was already in bed and not waiting on me to get the baby down.

Have things handy for the 2 year old to do while you are nursing/feeding the newborn like small new toys, coloring books, etc.

Maybe look into getting a co-sleeper bed for the baby that attaches to your bed to help you get more rest. Honestly, that was a great thing about nursing. Didn't have to fully wake up at night sometimes. Just pop the baby on and fall back to sleep.

I had a c-section with my second on a Monday night and went home on Wednesday afternoon so you may not be in the hospital as long as you think.



answers from San Diego on

Wheres the father of your children? You can do anything you have to do, get friends, family members to help. I know people in Tucson, my son used to live there, depending on where you actually live I may be able to get you some help. let me Know. J.

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