Another Wedding Question - Murrieta,CA

I think it's tacky. Maybe have it at 3pm, between lunch and dinner, and provide finger foods/snacks and punch. In this economy, I don't think people are expecting anything extravagant anyway. also google "cheap wedding shower ideas", tons of websites come up. Good luck!

You don't have to feed a sit down meal. I've not actually been to many that a meal was included. A shower is just an hour of fun and presents and maybe some finger food. Why not have it at your house, or even her house. Put out a few plates of finger foods and a pretty sparkling punch. That'll be less than the price of yours and the brides plate at the restaraunt. Go to www.allrecipes.com and snag a few recipe ideas.

l

Personally, I think that's tacky. Why call it a shower then? You don't invite guests to a gathering where they are already bringing a gift and ask them to foot the bill for food, too.

Why don't you just have the shower at someone's house? If you can't afford food for that sort of event, it could be potluck! A shower doesn't have to be elaborate to be thoughtful and fun.

How about an afternoon shower at someones home or a place you can rent for little or no cost - just provide some dessert and punch.... you could probably keep it under $100 if its a small shower.

Asking guest to pay is tacky and a big NO.

Why not just do something simple at your house or the bride's house. What would the guest list be like 25 -30 people? It should only cost you about $150.

Do a Sunday brunch, some quiche, bagels and cream cheese, fresh fruit, and coffee and tea.

Do a luncheon with a selection of salads (some containing meat), a veggie platter, cheese and crackers. To drink a punch, some ice tea, water and lemon.

Having 50 guests at a wedding will probably mean a small shower too, so it shouldn't be too expensive. Have it at someone's house, and have a few appetizers and a cake. Maybe ask the bride's M. to help with the food? Definitely don't ask the guests to pay, that is tacky. Keep it low key, and do some games for fun.

A few tips:

1. Ask for help. While you may be the only bridesmaid, it is totally reasonable to enlist help in throwing a shower for the bride. Ettiquette frowns on the bride's mother throwing the shower, but nothing is wrong with her helping. (Or other members of the bride's family if not the mother.)

2. Don't let the food scare you. A mid-afternoon event lends itself well to a tea theme. Finger-sandwiches and bite-sized sweets are perfectly acceptable, classy, and can be done very affordably.

3. Find a venue. Locations can be very inexpensive if not free. Most restaurants won't let you bring in outside food (except cake) so that may not be the best idea. Is the wedding taking place in a church or is the bride active in church? Perhaps the church's fellowship hall is available for the shower. Depending on the size of the actual guest list and the number of accomplices you enlist, you may even be able to have the shower in the bride's own home. (Then she is saved the aggravation of transporting her gifts from the shower venue.) Perhaps there is a lounge our something at her place of work?

These are general ideas, but if you would like more help coming up with specifics for your circumstances or even recipes, please feel free to contact me. I wish you the best and hope you can enjoy this process rather than feeling overburdened.

- L.

You've already figured out having guests pay is not the answer :)

Many banks have "community rooms" that are available for free or for a small fee ($30 or so). Once you have an inexpensive room or location (slso consider a relative's home, yours or hers...or the groom's, a garden shower if during the summer, etc), the food can be very affordable! Plan a Saturday morning or afternoon Tea Shower and serve cake, punch (much cheaper than sodas, & you can use generic soda in it and no one will know :), little chicken salad & tuna "tea" sandwiches (using little dinner rolls for the bread), a veggie platter with dip, a fruit platter with dip & your done! Go to the Dollar Store for table clothes & a bridal centerpiece. Keep it simple and if you go over your budget, call the shower your shower gift (I would get a very small personal gift and do that regardless). It doesn't have to be expensive to be nice. Even though you are the only bridesmaid, she must have some family. Let them know you are planning a shower and I'll bet they ask what they can do to help....then assign each of them some of the food or drinks!

I understand the stress of trying not to go broke hosting a shower, If your house or apt. are not suitable/adequate to host a shower be creative. (1) Do you have a friend/relative or shower guest that live in an apartment complex with a club room that you could under their name. I asked my niece (who lives in a moderately upscale modular home community) if she'd be comfortable renting the club house in her name and allow me to assume the rental cost of $40.00, (and I gave a check to the manager for a $450.00 refundable to me damage deposit.)
Parks will rent you a covered picnic table area for a $15.900-- $25.00. Some Churches and public/private schools have rooms to rent for a less than $50.00. A few restaurant will rent you a room, and require they provide the food. A few restaurants will allow you to bring in your own food.

(2) Time of day for the shower will dictate food costs. For one shower, I scheduled it for 11:00 a.m on a weekend. I hosted a brunch & baked mini muffins weeks in advance & froze them to have for the shower. I also pre-made & froze waffles, you will need a toaster at the party. The night before make "eggs strata," an egg mixture poured over bread slices with topping of with onions, green pepper and ham & cheese. Refrigerate over night, bake prior to the shower and cover with foil for transport. Hopefully a microwave will be available if it needs re-heating. Provide coffee, tea, (include decaf) and juice. Coffee cake or donuts or cinnamon rolls or cupcakes will satisfy the sweet tooth at the end of the brunch.

(3) If your budgets real tight, schedule shower for 2:00 p.m. - 4:00 p.m offer cake, ice cream,coffee, tea, (offer decaf & regular) juice, punch. I recently purchased a cake for my daughters shower for $36.00 for 45 servings. I went to our local "Shop Right" a Spartan store. I tried samples of cake & frosting combinations. We had a fabulous and delicious, decorated white cake with butter cream frosting. I wanted carrot cake, but decided against it because of nuts in the recipe. Nut allergies are a problem in my family.
(4) Go to the dollar store and purchase everything you need for plates, forks, cups you name it they have it for 1 dollar! For centerpieces I bought stand alone plastic picture frames , I placed them at each table, with a different photo of the guest of honor. I surrounded the frames with Hershey mini candy bars. In retrospect I wish I had added Lindt individual candies & some non chocolate treats and a few suckers & little lolly pops for the 3 & 4 yr year olds who attended.
(5) If there a kids coming bring a couple color books and crayons and a few little trucks and dollies for the little ones who attend. If you don't have toys, ask a guest who is a M. if she would "happily" bring a small tote bag of age appropriate toys. Many M.'s welcome the idea of keeping the little ones occupied. You need only to ask.

I purchased gifts for the guests for the 2 games we played. I found the games on line, they were free! I just had to print them. I purchased prizes gifts for the guests & guest of honor for the 2 games we played. The gifts came from clearance rack at a Hallmark store. TJ Maxx is also great for cute fun gifts for a 2-3 dollars each.

I made up a game of how well do you know "the bride & groom. Typed up 11 questions (plus 2 tie breaker questions) Example: From what college did the future groom graduate? Where did they meet? What is the age of the groom? For answers I listed multiple choice answers, it was a hoot!! Even my nieces, who "hate games" thought this was fun.

Updated

I understand the stress of trying not to go broke hosting a shower, If your house or apt. are not suitable/adequate to host a shower be creative. (1) Do you have a friend/relative or shower guest that live in an apartment complex with a club room that you could under their name. I asked my niece (who lives in a moderately upscale modular home community) if she'd be comfortable renting the club house in her name and allow me to assume the rental cost of $40.00, (and I gave a check to the manager for a $450.00 refundable to me damage deposit.)
Parks will rent you a covered picnic table area for a $15.900-- $25.00. Some Churches and public/private schools have rooms to rent for a less than $50.00. A few restaurant will rent you a room, and require they provide the food. A few restaurants will allow you to bring in your own food.

(2) Time of day for the shower will dictate food costs. For one shower, I scheduled it for 11:00 a.m on a weekend. I hosted a brunch & baked mini muffins weeks in advance & froze them to have for the shower. I also pre-made & froze waffles, you will need a toaster at the party. The night before make "eggs strata," an egg mixture poured over bread slices with topping of with onions, green pepper and ham & cheese. Refrigerate over night, bake prior to the shower and cover with foil for transport. Hopefully a microwave will be available if it needs re-heating. Provide coffee, tea, (include decaf) and juice. Coffee cake or donuts or cinnamon rolls or cupcakes will satisfy the sweet tooth at the end of the brunch.

(3) If your budgets real tight, schedule shower for 2:00 p.m. - 4:00 p.m offer cake, ice cream,coffee, tea, (offer decaf & regular) juice, punch. I recently purchased a cake for my daughters shower for $36.00 for 45 servings. I went to our local "Shop Right" a Spartan store. I tried samples of cake & frosting combinations. We had a fabulous and delicious, decorated white cake with butter cream frosting. I wanted carrot cake, but decided against it because of nuts in the recipe. Nut allergies are a problem in my family.
(4) Go to the dollar store and purchase everything you need for plates, forks, cups you name it they have it for 1 dollar! For centerpieces I bought stand alone plastic picture frames , I placed them at each table, with a different photo of the guest of honor. I surrounded the frames with Hershey mini candy bars. In retrospect I wish I had added Lindt individual candies & some non chocolate treats and a few suckers & little lolly pops for the 3 & 4 yr year olds who attended.
(5) If there a kids coming bring a couple color books and crayons and a few little trucks and dollies for the little ones who attend. If you don't have toys, ask a guest who is a M. if she would "happily" bring a small tote bag of age appropriate toys. Many M.'s welcome the idea of keeping the little ones occupied. You need only to ask.

I purchased gifts for the guests for the 2 games we played. I found the games on line, they were free! I just had to print them. I purchased prizes gifts for the guests & guest of honor for the 2 games we played. The gifts came from clearance rack at a Hallmark store. TJ Maxx is also great for cute fun gifts for a 2-3 dollars each.

I made up a game of how well do you know "the bride & groom. Typed up 11 questions (plus 2 tie breaker questions) Example: From what college did the future groom graduate? Where did they meet? What is the age of the groom? For answers I listed multiple choice answers, it was a hoot!! Even my nieces, who "hate games" thought this was fun.

Definitely tacky. Do you have a guest list? If there's only 50 guests total, then maybe what..half? are women? So, that's 25 guests for the shower (and I'm betting that's on the high side). Of those 25 not all will come to the shower. But, even if all of them do, it's totally doable at someone's house. You can even do it outside if the weather cooperates. I would condsider having it in the middle of the afternoon so you don't have to serve a meal. You could get buy with just a few snacky type foods. Talk to the bride and see exactly what she is expecting and take it from there.

Paying your own way tacky? yes. Get a little more help and have a pot luck at someones home if its a $$ thing. If her other friends are close, i'd call up a few of them and ask if they will help you split the bill.

I would do the shower at your home if possible. Make a baked pasta dish (I can give the recipe if you want it) salad and a loaf of bread from panera.. whole meal enough to feed 10 to 15 people will be less than $20. you can probably skip the games if you want also. a lot of people just like the get together not the games. ask the bride what she would prefer.

The pay your own way shower is tacky to me. I had my friend's shower at my house and we had sandwiches, salads, and cake, mimosas and pomosas(pomogranate juice and champagne or sparkling wine. It doesn't have to be at a restaurant. I think it's more pricey.