Another on the Way!

Updated on November 07, 2006
A.G. asks from Womelsdorf, PA
27 answers

I need help! This morning, I took a second pregnancy test and it came out positive! The first one I took 4 days ago was so faint it was hard to tell. But now I don't know what to do! My daughter is still so young! SHe'll never understand what's going on! Any advice? Does anyone here have children who are less than 24 months apart?

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for your wonderful advice. I think I was just really shaken up at the moment cause we definatly weren't planning on THIS! My mother had 3 kids in 3 years so I was very close to my siblings growing up! My mother says it will be a challenge but I will survive it. It's the husband that is still not doing so good with it. He refuses to tell his family for fear of their reaction. My husband and I aren't exactly financially stable, we make enough to pay the bills and buy food, but that's about it.

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B.W.

answers from Scranton on

Hey A.,

Having children close together could be beneficial for them. My sister and I are what they call irish twins. We are less than 12 months apart. And we are best friends. Also you say you make enough to pay the bills and that is it. Well so do we and we are making it all right, I just had my second. I was worried about the same thing but someone told me if everyone waited till they had enough money to have a baby no one would have children. LOL It will work out.

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R.

answers from Pittsburgh on

My son's are 17 months apart and are best friends. They do everything together and the only problem I forsee is when the oldest goes to Kindergarten and the youngest can't go. I love having them that close and my oldest understood what was going on, and he made the pregnancy so enjoyable! My husband and his brother are not even 12 months apart and they did ok ( maybe I shouldn't even use this example cause they don't get along well right now) but when they were little they got along great!If I had it all to do over again I would definatly have them that close together!

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A.

answers from Washington DC on

My Mom had "Irish twins". Two boys exactly 12 months a part and they have been best friends. I thnk you ar very lucky to have two kids so close in age. My boys are 10 years difference. Just take a deep breath and enjoy!!!

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B.R.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi A.,

My firstborn was 11 mos old when I found out I was pg with #2. Our second born was 11 mos old when I found out I was pg with #3. The one thing we appreciated was that our first never remembered being an only child for a time. Another great thing is that because they're all close in age, they've been great playmates for each other. It can be difficult at times, but we would never change a thing! I hope this has helped.

Good luck,
B.

1 mom found this helpful

T.R.

answers from Scranton on

I think you are SO lucky. My little guy, Evan is 7 months old and I'm ready for another one. I think your little girl will be fine, she's still young and accepts changes as they come. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.Z.

answers from Pittsburgh on

i'd like to start off by saying congrats! i was 13 weeks preg. with a 5.5 month old. my due dates were the same actually. i had a m/c about a week ago.my sister and i were 13 months apart and my mom always said that made it easier on her. my ob told me it was good to have them close together. i guess so you cant forget what is like. good luck!

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S.

answers from Philadelphia on

I really enjoyed having my first two children 18 mos apart. I saw it as a beautiful thing that my first born would not understand what was going on so that he would not be jealous of the new baby. And it worked for us. I really liked that my 18 mo old did not climb into the pack'n'play or pick the baby up, etc. It was a very easy transition to two. They were friends from the start and roomed together as soon as the second one could sleep most of the night (2mo). Then, we added a third. He is 22 mo younger than his middle brother (yes, three boys). Again, I thought decent spacing, still doing toddler things, toddler toys (softer/bigger)only this time more complicated...olderst brother could pick up baby, reach him on the changing table, more germs were passed, and as time went on I felt like the youngest lost out on Sesame Street, Barney, etc as the oldest one thought it was soooo babyish. My youngest is just three now and he plays with Power Rangers instead of Fisher Price Little People like his oldest brother did at the same age. You know, you still have the next eight months to figure out how to have it all make sense to your daughter. Oh, and if you can nap when she does that is a big help. Try to get the baby on your daughter's nap schedule, that is bonus! By the time I had my third, the oldest was losing interest in napping...that makes a very long day. I just think that the further apart the less similar the structure of the day is for each child. Think of it as more that you can do with your daughter teaching her about being a loving sister, not the time that you feel you are losing one on one with her or what she may be missing in the expecting part of her new sisterhood. Happy pregnancy!

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A.N.

answers from Philadelphia on

First of all, congratulations!

I know it is a shock. My girls are 20 months apart. It is hard because my older daughter was used to having all of our attention and still needs so much from us at this age. BUT, she loves her sister dearly (so far!). I read that if your children are less than two years apart, you may have less jealousy issues. I guess jealousy really kicks in after two. My older daughter knows that her life has changed and certainly acts up for attention, but she doesn't realize it is because of the baby. I am amazed at how good she is with her.

You will be busy, but it is great. Best of luck to you!

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S.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

I have 4 boys, all of them are less than 24 months apart. I have an 18 month old now and I am due in 10 weeks with my 5th baby. He understands that I have a baby in my belly. It may be difficult at first but like your mom said, you will survive!! Give your daughter some credit!! She is a smart girl, I'm sure. She may not understand now but towards your 8th month, she will get it. Buy her a baby doll and teach her. As young as you think they are, they are soooo smart!!!

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A.S.

answers from State College on

You'll be fine! I have 5 boys. The oldest turned 6 nine days after my baby was born in July. It's tough, but the older three (6,5,&4) are so close and they play together really well. I expect my 18mo and my 3mo to be the same way. Good luck!

A.

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D.K.

answers from Lancaster on

Congrats! I had all my children close together and boy am I glad. I found it to be great. My youngest is 10, then 12, then 14, 16, and 18. My current husband and I are trying to get pregnant (he doesn't have any children of his own), and sometimes I think I'm crazy. I love the idea the kids are so close. It helps with school. You develop a good relationship with the teachers due to being around for awhile. There are many other pros. Don't worry so much. You'll be fine!

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A.

answers from Philadelphia on

My 2 are 13 months apart. By the time you have the 2nd one she will be able to grasp the concept and even help you. I was surprised how my daughter reacted with my son when he was born. Even at a young age she turned into a little Mom. Just watch the jealousy issues when the new one is born. She won't realize what she is feeling. Just make her feel like she is part of things and that you "need" her to help you with the new baby.
You should be more concerned with your own health. Save up as much strength as you can now, with 2 still in diapers, your energy runs out real quick. I think it is good in a way, eventhough mine are 3 and 4 now and they fight, they really are very close and the best of friends.
Take care! Good luck!

M.J.

answers from Dover on

My son is 17 months older than my daughter. It was really hard in the very beginning especially because I had a c-section w/ my daughter so I couldn't pick my son up for several weeks after I had her. Also the whole 2 kids in diapers, etc. was difficult. But we got through it, just like you will & now that they're 5 & 7 years old I'm so happy that they're close they can play together. Your daugher is definately old enough to understand that you're going to have a new baby in the house, especially since she'll be there the whole time to see you getting bigger & there's about a million books on the suject for kids to help her adjust. Good luck!

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T.H.

answers from York on

I am a 23 year old mom of 2 boys. I have a 27 month old and a 5 month old. I got pregannat with my 2nd when my oldest was about 14 months old. I was devastated. I thought I will never be able to do this. How can this be happening. Every emotion possible. I had these feelings through pretty much my entire pregnancy. Then on May 22nd, 2006 @ 11:25am I heard those first cries and everything just went away. I knew I could do it. Now 5 months in to it I am loving having 2. Don't get me wrong it is hard work. I have 1 child learning to potty train and going through those terrible twos and another child wanting to eat like every 2 hours, learning to crawl, and putting everything in his mouth. But, when my oldest son goes over to his little brother and says "I love you matt-matt" it all just dosen't matter. I manage to exclusively breastfeed my youngest, get about 6-7 hours of sleep at night and get a few things done around the house. I am a stay at home mom so that makes it a little easier. It does all work out and eventually gets easier. Seeing how I know how you feel if you would like to talk more just write me and we can chat some more. email address is [email protected]____.com Hope you feel better.

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L.T.

answers from Pittsburgh on

A.,

My son was 14 months old when I gave birth to my daughter. We hadn't planned on having another baby so soon, but that is how it worked out. The night before my c-section I broke down and cried because I was afraid that my son wouldn't "understand" and that at some point he might feel unloved because we had another baby so soon. But they adored each other from the start. From the time we brought her home he was very interested in her. He would hold wipes for me when I would change her diaper. He would check on her when she was napping in her bassinet. He would hand her a bottle when she cried. She has always responded to his actions with smiles and giggles. I talked a lot about my daughter before she was born and played "baby sister" with a baby doll. I don't know if he really understood any of it or if he was just imitating but maybe it helped him adjust to her and the changes that took place. Now he is 28 months and she is 14 months. They aren't always good about sharing things (toys, Mom and Dad, etc.) but for the most part they play well together and are good friends.

If you are worried about how you will cope....it can be hard at times having two young children that have limited independence, are still in diapers, and need a lot of attention, but you find ways to make it work. Your instincts and creativity will kick in and guide you. Good luck!
L.

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J.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I say don't worry about it. Children understand much more than we give them credit. My daughter was two and one month when my twins were born. Yes, she had some jealousy and reverting problems to deal with after they were born (She didn't want anything to do with potty training and started sucking her thumb after they were born), especially since it was 2 babies, not just one, but it was fine. Your daughter has more understanding than you realize and will understand more as you get bigger. If you are concerned there are some great books at the library about this. There's also some books about becoming a big sister. Good luck!

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K.K.

answers from Dover on

I was reading my e-mail messages and I just so happen to come across yours. Well, I have to say that I went through what you are going through right now. My daughters are exactly 11 months apart. They were born on the same day but two different months, so I know what it's like to have children really close together. A lot people told me that I was crazy and that it would be really hard on me to take care of two little babies. I was working full-time and I somehow managed to deal with the situation. Now my daughters are 3 1/2 and 4 1/2 and I'm glad that they were so close together. They are like best friends. In the begining it's going to be hard, but you'll learn to get into a routine. As long as you have a help you'll be alright. As far as your daughter is concerned just talk to her and let her know of the changes that you are about to go through. She may not fully comprehend what going on, but at least you are talking to her and involving her in what's up ahead. Don't worry it might seem impossible at first but it will get easier as they grow up together. If you have any other questions or you just want to talk you can always e-mail directly at [email protected]____.com

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C.D.

answers from Philadelphia on

A.,

MY DAUGHTER WAS 22MONTHS WHEN MY TWINS ARRIVED. IT WAS DIFFICULT AT FIRST, WELL FOR THE FIRST YEAR UNTIL THEY STARTED WALKING NOW THEY ARE ALL FRIENDS. IT'S GREAT TO WATCH THEM ALL PLAY TOGETHER. (ALL GIRLS) IT'S WORTH THE STRUGGLE.

CHRIS D.

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D.P.

answers from Reading on

Hi A.,
I find your question interesting. WHY does it really matter if your daughter understands that there is a new baby coming?? She will not know any better, that will be the only life she will know. Besides the adults make the decisions about life not the kids. SHe will be fine, I personally think YOU are upset and not ready. YOu will be fine and have a wonderful family filled with love and joy.!
Best wishes!~
D.

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L.S.

answers from Washington DC on

my 2 are 19 months apart! I did not think Eric would know what was going on since he was so little but I was wrong! The first time they came to see me he just KNEW that brother was OUR baby! He was soooo protective of him. He got worried when other people would hold him unless I said they could and he wanted to hold him and just love on him 247. He is still like that a year later. He HAS to give him a hug and kiss every time William goes to sleep or he cries and cries. It is so cute! They understand way more then you think they do!

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M.G.

answers from Harrisburg on

My daughter was almost 10 mths old when my son was born. It's difficult at first, but my mom says God doesn't give you more than you can handle. My children (now 4 & 5) are the greatest pals - they sneak into each others rooms to sleep together! Congrats, good luck, and take any help you can get when you need it.

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L.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

A., relax! Your daughter is 14 months NOW. She won't be when the baby is born. My sister and I are 14 months apart. We grew up vey close and it was kind of fun because people always asked if we were twins because we were almost the same height for awhile. Anyway, you will have your hands full, but hey, what mother doesn't. My kids are exactly 3 years and 10 days apart and I am busy, busy, busy. But the nice thing about having children really close in age is that they are usually great playmates. Just make sure you still make time and alone time for your older daughter. God Bless.

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S.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

i found out i was pregnant with my 4th when my daughter was just 13 months old. i was shocked at the time. but they are best friends. my two older children are boys and they have each other so now my girls do also. good luck!

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T.L.

answers from Pittsburgh on

my first two are 14 months apart and they have always got along with each other so well then my second and third are 25 months apart and they also get along, i am glad to have had them so close together

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H.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi A.

My first 2 are 17 months apart and are great friends. They are 3 and 20 months now and I'm expecting in May. The second 2 will be 27 months apart. It is pretty crazy in the beginning with everyone being so needy still. You'll think you're crazy even thinking about leaving the house after it takes you 2 hours to get everyone ready to go. But you'll quickly figure out tricks for being organized in advanced and predicting behaviors so that you can be ready in much less time. I was lucky because my daughter was thrilled with having a new brother and we never had any jealousy issues. She wanted to help with everything and was amazingly helpful at only 17 months. We didn't say anything to her about the pregnancy until my tummy was getting big and she wouldn't have as long a wait. She got it on some level though. She'd talk to my belly and rub it. There are days I want to pull my hair out, but I think every mother has those. There are days when they fuss and argue over everything, but there are also a lot of times when they keep each other entertained and I can get a few things done. It's so fun to hear their little conversations in the backseat and hear them singing together. I love them being close in age. We had been trying when I got pregnant, but didn't expect it to happen instantaneously! We're glad it did though. The same thing this time around. It will be insane for a while, but that settles and then it's great...most of the time!

CONGRATS!

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J.S.

answers from York on

Yep, my two boys are exactly 18 months apart almost to the day. I was pregnant with my second when my first was a little over nine months old. Of course, we did it on purpose, so it wasn't shocking. You'll be fine. It can be scary or difficult at first, but you just take it one minute at a time, and it'll all work out. Congratulations!!! I'm sure you'll do wonderfully!

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S.E.

answers from Washington DC on

My sister and I are 18 months apart. What are your thoughs on what you want to do? What is your gut reaction? My sister and I were very close and played together all the time. I'm sure my mom had it tough and also she had two more girls after me and my sister for a total of 4!!! I have one son and I seriously don't know how she did it.
I hope your instinct can help you make the right choice.
S.

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