Another Crazy Holiday Bday with Family!!!

Updated on April 06, 2007
A.S. asks from Carson City, NV
7 answers

My name is A. and my son will be 2 on Fourth of July. For his first b-day we had two parties. One on 4th of July and another one week later. I spent a huge amount of money that shouldn't have been spent and I did this all because that's what everyone wanted me to do so that I wouldn't leave anyone out. There were people who were on vacation on his b-day and they really wanted to celebrate so I sort of was forced into two parties by the grandma and MIL. I absolutely can't afford (money or patience) to do that again. Do you have any suggestions as to when should be a good date during this holiday to include everyone and still not forget his actual b-day? I don't want him to think his actual b-day is on a different day than it is, and I want people to understand as well that just because it's a holiday doesn't mean he needs to be forgotten. At the same time I feel that just because those family members plan a vacation or whatever isn't an excuse for missing his b-day, they should remember him as we always remember them at their b-days. Is that selfish? I'm so confused!!!

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answers from Fresno on

First of all, Gunner is an awesome name and I LOVE arbonne!!

Anyway, you need to decide when you want to do his party and only do it on that day. It is understandable to want to do his 1st birthday twice because that is an important milestone. Each year is important, but there is no reason why you have to accomodate everyone else's schedule. You are the mom, you say when it is and tell them now. Maybe they will decide to stay home instead of going away. The ones that will be there are the ones that really care...sounds harsh, but it's true. Also, maybe have his party the saturday before or after the 4th. That may alleviate the vacationers inability to attend. Either way, decide when you want to do it and where and send the invitations. People will come or make sure they can schedule a visit if they want to be there but can't make it to the party. Remember: "no, I can't do it any other weekend; no, I have to have it at X place at Y time; no, this is the only party we will be having, I'm sorry you cannot make it, we hope you can visit at another time."

Take care, Be strong, You're in charge!!
M. M.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Modesto on

Hi A.! You need to remember that he's 2 he wont know if you dont spend a lot of money on his party.. anyways that's totaly unecessary! Do what makes you happy and if your family makes plans knowing it's his birthday that's there bad, not yours. I've learned that when it comes to family and kids nobody will ever be happy and someone will always feel left out. If your parents and or in-laws want 2 partys then they need to pay for one of them! That's always my solution if they want pictures or something off the wall there paying for it!!! You need to keep the peace in your house and do what makes you happy. I feel like an expert on this topic!!!



answers from Las Vegas on

Here's what It took me 11 years to understand. Kids are happy with whatever you give them. he is only 2 and he won't mix up his birthday. I had a party every year for my kids and this year I cancelled them. they like the parties, but the money I save I let them pick out a better gift. A trip to Toyz-R-Us is heaven for a child, especially when they can pick out whatever they want.

The party is for him and if you feel that you need to have one plan it on a weekend that is best for you. If someone can't make it don't schedule around them. You will need to put your foot down now or you will be jumping through hoops for ever, with all of your future children as well. If they can't make it and are upset, let them take him to dinner for a party of their own, and make them pay for it.

You can have it a week before the 4th of July and then spend a relaxing holiday with the family. july babies get a lot of water toys (I have 2) and since the party is over you can use his water toys at the 4th of july festivities.



answers from San Francisco on

Hey A.,
I am going through the same thing right now, but with easter. My daughters Birthday falls on Monday the 9th, the day after easter! So now we are talking 3 events! My plan is to do easter and then on her birthday I am going to make her a small cake, make her her fav dinner and then just the 3 of us, my mom amd my sister (because they are around a lot and near by) are going to eat ahd sing her happy birthday. We will give her her gifts (gma and aunty may give her a small one, but I told them to save it for her party). That way she has her special day with us. Then she can have her party on teh sat after and have her special day with the rest of the fam, out of town fam, friends ect.
The last two years her bday fell on the weekend, luckily not easter, so we had it on that day. For your son, I would just have a small gathering for dinner, the 3 of you, maybe a gparent if they are close (and a friend as he gets older) for dinner and cake (or just cake). If as he gets older it will fall on the weekend, then have the party on the day. But like the person before said, this year, just tell everyone that you are going to have the party on the sat after his bday so they know and don't plan vaca.



answers from Las Vegas on

It isn't always possible to have a big birthday party right on the day of. I think kids understand and even like it that way. They have a birthday and a separate party day. Plan a party for whatever day you choose (maybe the weekend before), then on his birthday, do something special with a smaller group, maybe even just the three of you. Pick his favorite things to do. Get a small cake for that day and save your present to him for that day. He'll feel special all day long on his birthday and have a party day with lots of presents. The older he gets, the more fun it will be for him to extend his birthday. When my son was younger, he would have a party near his birthday, then day of, we'd go to Disneyland. He'd get to wear a special sticker, and all the Disney people paid extra attention to him. We'd even arrange for a cake at the park. He loved it. And, by the way, my husband, who turns 40 this year, still likes to milk his birthday for as many days as he can (if it falls on Friday, he thinks it entitles him to a Birthday Weekend).



answers from Las Vegas on

Hi A.,
We celebrate all of our birthdays right along with the holiday in that month, without fail. My birthday is in May and I celebrate my bday with mothers day. My oldest daughter is in April and her birthday has always been celebrated with Easter. There were some years where she did the kid birthday thing and we had a party at chuck e cheese or something, but as soon as she got past that stage it went right back to an Easter celebration. In fact, I just ordered her birthday cake today and I told them to put Easter Bunnies on it, she is 24. I think you should celebrate his birthday when you feel is appropriate and be sure to give everyone advance notice. If people can't make it, just continue on without them. It is their loss. Let us know how it goes this year. You are right ~ 2 parties will make anyone crazy!



answers from San Francisco on

I would go a week earlier or later with the b-day party, OR just have a gathering on your son's actual birthday and try not to worry too much about including anyone. Your son will know when his birthday is, so don't worry about that.

I do know of which I speak. :) My son's birthday falls on Memorial Day this year and every year, my brother and his family go to Tahoe and then complain they can't make the birthday party. But the party is always well-attended even without my brother and sister-in-law. I figure if they really wanted to come one year he would. Besides, just because you don't go to the party doesn't mean you're not celebrating the birthday, KWIM?

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