My husband wants us to take a trip somewhere just the two of us to celebrate our 2nd wedding anniversary since we didn't do much to celebrate last year because my DS was only 3 months old. He also figured that we won't be able to take any alone trips for a while if we plan on trying for baby #2 soon.
We are planning to take a 4 day trip in November since MIL can babysit then. DS will be 14 months by then and I trust my MIL with him and she is a nurse so I think my DS is in good hands. However I've never been away from DS for that long so I am afraid that he might get attached to MIL while I am gone.
I am a SAHM so I've never been out of his sight for more than half a day max. I am pretty OCD with some stuff and MIL is super lax so I don't know if I can get DS back to the routine I have him on when I return from our trip.
MIL is super excited she gets to spend four days with her grandson while I am worried about being separated from him. I've written another post before about my having separation anxiety from my son and about letting others take care of him. I think this trip will be a test to see if I can really let go and trust that my bond with my son is strong enough that I shouldn't be worry about him getting attached to MIL and forget about little old me :(
Has any mamas out there felt this way before about their little ones? Thanks again for hearing me out.
first of all RELAX.
He will be fine and if you don't relax and let grandma do what grandmas do you will not have a good time.
He's supposed to get attached to her, she's his grandma.
He's not going to forget about you in the span of 4 days. It's JUST 4 days.
1) YES she will bond with him (that's a good thing, the more people in his life he loves who love him)
2) NO that won't erase his bond with you (will you stop loving him when you have your 2nd? The human heart swells, not diminishes)
3) YES you may have a day or two of difficulty getting back with your routine (I've left my kiddo for up to a couple weeks with my mum.... always takes 1-2 days for us to get back in the groove, but the same is true if I take him with me, because traveling rules and routines are different than home routines)
4) But NO, it does not mean that you won't be able to return to your routine
Kids are resilient creatures. I let my toddler jump on the couch. Did that mean he jumped on EVERYONE'S couch? Nope. "Different Rules". Kids can and do adjust to different rules and different routines fairly easily. At school kids raise their hands to talk. Does that mean at home they can't talk without raising their hands? Nope. They adjust. The same is true with rules at different houses. You just make it clear.
What you're feeling is completely normal. But, YOU are his mom. Don't worry about him getting attached while you're gone. He's supposed to be attached to his grandma. But, she still isn't you, and nothing can replace that bond. Go, have fun on your trip, and your son will be waiting with giggles and smiles when you return home.
Relax. Have fun on your trip! Your son will not forget you! How awesome that he has a capable grandma that is excited to take care of him while you are away. You can type a daily schedule for her that she can follow while you're gone. She may not follow it exactly, but it won't hurt your son to be off of his regular routine for a few days.
Having grandparents that are excited to spend time with your kids while you are away is a great gift! I know, my parents are like this. My kids are now 6 and 4 and my husband and I take a vacation each summer while my parents watch our kids. My kids get to bond with my parents and they have a really strong relationship with them.
You will LOVE the break! It's so good to devote time to your marriage, which often doesn't happen when kids come along. We just went on an Alaskan cruise for a week to mark our 10-year anniversary and our kids stayed with their grandparents. They had a terrific time and so did we. The down time was fabulous and it was great to reconnect with my husband. I think we all appreciated each other more when we reunited.
My big tip is to write down all of your "kid instructions" so you feel confident your ILs understand preferred procedures. Mine are usually several pages long, single spaced. I put down every possible thing I think could come up. This allows me to relax while I'm away and gives them the information they need should any situations come up or they just want to know what works best for our kids. List pediatrician, poison control and other numbers so they're easy for your ILs to find. Don't forget to print out a medical authorization form (you can find them online) giving your ILs permission to handle medical issues while you're away and provide your son's insurance card.
Your son won't get overly attached to your ILs. In four days, for sure he won't forget you. That's a very quick trip. He will just have fun with new experiences and time with his grandparents and be thrilled to see you when you return. We worried our kids would be ho-hum seeing us after our week away since they were doing cool things with the grandparents, but they came running up to us with big grins when we returned.
Have fun!
leaving for 4 nights will do nothing to your bond with your son. and grandmas are supposed to be able to spoil the grandkids - get used to it! go and have a wonderful time. It will be a vacation for your son as well! My children go to sleepaway camp - they started at age 7 or 8 for 1 week, and this year my 11 year old went for 4 weeks and my 15 year old is gone for 8 weeks - they can only do that because they have learned since infancy that if we part, we will always come back together - one or two nights at first and now months! have a great anniversary trip!
When my boys were 2 and 4 my husband and I left them with our dear friend for 3 days while we went to Paris. I was a wreck before we left, so afraid that they would miss me too much, or that I would have no fun because I would just miss them, that they would need me and I would not be there. Once the plan landed I called them, and you know what, they were fine. I relaxed, had a GREAT time, reconnected to my husband in a way that was soooo needed, and when I returned we were a stronger, better connected couple, and thus better and stronger parents.
i hate to leave my kids... but i have for 2 nights.. and yes..i called all the time.. but after the first day..it was good.. go enjoy yourself... or take the baby... you get alone time when they go to sleep.... whatever makes you feel good.
I know how you feel...
My son is just about to turn 2 and the LONGEST I've ever been away from him is about 4-5 hours. I'm 35wks pregnant with my 2nd and Am SOOO nervous about going into labor because I won't be able to put my Son to bed. And cause I will be away from him for so long.
I say do whatever you are comfortable with. Honestly try it out. I think its good for the mom & dad to have their OWN time with no kids around.
I wouldn't know what that feels like haha but GO FOR IT
It is normal for mom to have separation anxiety. Just don't be overboard with it.
Focus on a wonderful time with your husband and trust that MIL will do a great job. She did a great job with your hubby!!!
Do something for yourself, go enjoy your hubby.
