Amnio or Not?

I understand the fear you are facing. We had many of the same concerns. However, if you calculate the statistics that you were given you have a 1 in 55,000 chance of having a down's child which means it is very unlikely that you will have a down's child. And you have a 1 in 800 chance of having a miscarriage, which is a rather alarming statistic. I would hate to think that you would lose a healthy child based on very insignificant data.

I had CVS at 13 weeks, just like an amnio but with a slightly higher risk, but done earlier. It really was fine. I did it because I was very stressed and needed to just "know" so I could relax and just be prepared either way.

I will try to give answer as non judgemental as possible. My answer is not based on religion, simply my experience as a mother of a severely disabled child.
Have the Amnio. It will give you peace of mind and should something be "wrong" with the gift God gave you, have that baby anyway and put it up for adoption. There are so many people who will adopt a disabled child. There is a family in my town that has adopted 11 of them! I have a friend who adopted a child who is disabled AND has terminal cancer.
Disabled children can be a challenge emotionally, but in my experience so worth it. My child has never walked, stood, crawled, sat up on her own, she has small seizures, a feeding tube, scoliosis and reflux issues. So what? She is still a human being and the sweetest child I've ever met. She is always happy, smiling, giving hugs and kisses. She loves unconditionally, knows no wrong. She enjoys music, movies, shopping, everything a normal child does. Had I known her life would be this way, I still would not have killed her. Raising a disabled child isn't for everyone, but some people would love to have your child. If you are looking at it from a financial standpoint, insurance covers a lot and most disabled kids can recieve medicaid as well based on their disability not your income, and between insurance and medicaid everything should be covered.
Good luck.

I agree with Denise doctors can be wrong you hear it all the time, and i'm not trying to judge but my God at 19 weeks thats already a little person in there! You probably already know if it's a little boy or a little girl. Seems a little far along to terminate. Plus i'd imagine that you have to wait for your appt. and then the results and surely that could take a few weeks and you would be farther along by then. Anyhow just read this excerpt from a baby's development at 19 weeks:

"Your baby's sensory development is exploding! Her brain is designating specialized areas for smell, taste, hearing, vision, and touch. Some research suggests that she may be able to hear your voice now, so don't be shy about reading aloud, talking to her, or singing a happy tune if the mood strikes you. Your baby weighs about 8 1/2 ounces and measures 6 inches, head to bottom — about the size of a large heirloom tomato. Her arms and legs are in the right proportions to each other and the rest of her body now. Her kidneys continue to make urine and the hair on her scalp is sprouting. A waxy protective coating called the vernix caseosa is forming on her skin to prevent it from pickling in the amniotic fluid."

Again not trying to judge but please think about that decision very carefully.
Best of luck and I hope you are carrying a perfectly healthy baby with no defects at all!

I had both of my babies after 35 and had roughly the same odds as you with initial screens. I wanted to have amnios, and there's 99.9% chance that I would have terminated had something come back from that. They weren't able to perform the amnio on the first pregnancy because he would NOT move his head away from where they needed to put the needle, so I had every other test they offer. I did have an amnio with my second. It brought me great piece of mind! I applaud you for being honest with yourselves! It's also thought the miscarriage odds are actually even less than what your OB quoted because any time a women who has an amnio miscarries, that goes into the statistics, even though it's known that some would have miscarried regardless. I wouldn't hesitate to do it if I were you. If it makes you more comfortable, ask your OB if they have "dedicated" amnio doctors at your practice. There are two doctors at my practice who do ALL the amnios and therefore have tons of experience and know exactly what they're doing. Good luck! I'll bet your baby is just fine, but there's nothing wrong with wanting to know for sure!

I've got 3 children. 2 of them the blood screening came back as a high risk for downs. Part of it is nothing more than age. I was 33 with #2 and 38, almost 39, with #3. With my second they found several problems in the ultrasound so we did opt for the amnio. One of the things he might have had I could have carried to term only to have him die moments after birth, something I wanted nothing to do with. I was not about to carry a baby for 20 more weeks knowing he was already dead. There isn't a way for the amnio to be wrong, the baby either has the right amount of chromosomes or not, simple as that. If the count is wrong you have a child with Downs or Trisomy 18. The amnio started some pretty strong contractions and I ended up on bedrest all weekend (had the test on a Friday) There is a happy ending. There is nothing wrong with my son at all. He was born full term and perfect. The issues that came up all resolved themselves on their own by the follow up apt. My third nothing at all came up on the ultrasound at all, not a single marker. We didn't do the amnio because we didn't want to risk me losing her and the possibility of her having any issues were so small at that point we felt secure in our choice. I sit here with my perfectly healthy daughter getting annoyed that I'm typing on the computer and "ignoring her".
If you know you would terminate if there were issues then you need to do the amnio, they can do a quick results which takes a couple days then the full results in about a week. I believe the window is 22 or 24 weeks, I can't remember, and then they won't do the procedure.
Best of luck! I hope it all works out for your family.

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I chose not to do it I was 41 and he was healthy. my opinion was i would love the baby either way. god blessed me with a healthy baby. sounds like your risks of downs is very low so why stress it. if the doc comes back and says it might and you terminated how do you know the doc is wrong and your not killing a perfectly healthy baby. docs are wrong they are not god. I would say no and did say no. I wouldnt have cared ither way.

The best information you will get is the amnio results. Once you know the results, then you can decide what to do. Otherwise you are making decisions on very inaccurate data. I agree that your OB is pushing the amnio mostly because of your age. Most likely everything is ok.

My doc wanted me to do an amnio cause I was 36 yrs old. I chose not to only because I wanted the baby no matter what, I was prepared if I had a special needs baby. My GF had an amnio as she was 39 and they told her , their daughter was missing a chromosone and told them all the defects she would have. My GF couldn't bring herself to terminate becasue it took her so long to get pregnant. She had her daughter who was perfectly normal no chromosone issues and is at the top of her 3rd grade class and healthy as can be. You should have the amnio because you want to make an informed decision, just make sure if there, God forbid is an issue you get other tests done to confirm the findings. My GF to this day has such anger towards her doctors as they were pushing for an abortion and she had a normal child. Best of luck to you. I hope your baby is healthy and you can rest easy.

You are almost 5 months pregnant and willing to have an abortion? Well, yes in your case-- you need to do it if it will give you peace of mind about the results. Just to let you know though, they do have false positives-- It would be tragic to abort a healthy fetus thinking it was abnormal. Just be prepared. I didn't do the amnio because I didn't care if I had a down syndrome baby or not- I value life and feel that every baby deserves to be born.

M

I have felt the wrath of jugdemental moms on this site before, so if they come- ignore them because their ignorant self righteousness is wrong even in the religion they claim to stand on. That being said, I would have it done. I always said I couldn't do the special needs thing too, so I feel like you deserve to know so you can make informed choices that are you and your husbands alone to make. Ironically, I had a car accident w my last pregnancy, and had my jamison 2 month premature- and because of that, he has special needs. He is my favorite child, though. while his struggles are agony for me, his triumphs are heavenly. I have strength I never knew I had, and it grows everyday. You never know... Damn. You got me crying on here!!! Good luck, I'm praying for yall!!!

So many things cannot be determined with an amnio. Autism, childhood cancers, ADHD, mental disorders, bad personalities. Would you not have a child knowing that your child might be severely autistic or die at 3 because of cancer? Just food for thought. I've taught dance to precious children with down syndrome and precious children with autism. Honestly, the downs syndrome children were 'easier' to get through to. I've known families with downs children who have graduated college. Just really educate yourself if this is decision you would really make. What if you get in a wreck and your child is paralyzed for life? Would you give him up? You just never know. Someone else could love this baby, even if you can't. Adoption is always an option. Research late-term abortions, you may change your mind. I'm not judging, I'm just saying after 3 kids and working with lots and lots of children, you cannot predict what will happen. No mom predicts having a child with problems, but not all problems are caught on an amnio. I've known a child with each scenario I've listed, and all of the moms feel lucky and blessed to have their children in their lives. Why take that away from yourself? I also know a little 2 1/2 year old girl who was BORN and SURVIVED at 20 weeks! That is REALLY food for thought!

Hello, I know this is something to really think about. When I went through this with my one and only child I declined. The doctor asked me if I find out something is wrong would you terminate? I said, no. He said, then don't do it. Luckily for me (us) we were blesed with one healthy baby. I tried everything to get pregnant and almost thought it wasn't going to happen. So, for me I would have done it no matter what, I wanted to be a "mom".
This is your decision along with your husband. If you truely can't care for a sick child knowingly, then have it and terminate. You have to be okay with it.
Keep in mind, life isn't a guarantee. What "if" one of your other children get sick and/or in a car accident? I hope things work out for you and many blessings your way.

You answered your own question because if you knew it was positive for Down's you would terminate. I would say no to amnio only if you were willing to accept whatever it was but you and hubby are clear that you don't want to raise a Down's child.

Well... with both my pregnancies, I had the Amnio. So I had 2.
It was due to my age at that time... and I chose to have it.
I do NOT regret it, at all.
Even if nothing is wrong... then at least you know about your child's genetic profile.
And if so, then at least you know, as well.
I did not have it to decide the fate of my pregnancy... but just to find out about my baby's health etc.

The procedure is fine... just feels like a menstrual cramp.
My Husband was with me.
Then you rest afterward and take it easy.

The Amnio, is the most accurate genetic test.
It is performed, if I recall... at the beginning of the 2nd trimester.... ? At about at 14-20 weeks.

all the best,
Susan

Dear C.W.,
It's very hard to care for any child with special needs. However, I have not had a child with Down Syndrome but my children have had their share of special needs issues. I still have to deal with these special needs and frankly at first it was over whelming but I can say this I have learned alot and if not for their special needs I may not have experienced the wonderful people that have come into my life because of it, meaning doctor's, etc.. So there can be an up side to having children with special needs with that said.

I was 35 with my first child and they pushed for an amnio personal decision I said "no" they said if the child would have special needs at least you'd know ahead of time I still said "no". Special needs or not I wasn't going to terminate so I felt like it didn't matter. Besides the special needs my children ended up with you can't see in an amino (developmental delay, ADHD, Ery's palsy) that ended up as diagnoses for my kids.

I think you should get the amnio then once you have all the information make your choice as to what to do after that. If I had felt I would want to terminate if the child had problems then I would have had the amnio, I had made a choice special needs or not the baby would be born. That's were I stood. I had my share of miscarriages and frankly didn't know if when I finally had the first one it would happen. If you are faced with a child with special needs and the choice of terminate or not you won't know that unless you get the amnio so it sounds like you need the amnio to reach a level of if there is even a choice to make.

I know getting an amnio is hard and I too felt like they pushed me as well and they did. I made a choice not to get it and frankly they do scare people that don't work in the health field don't be afraid but make a choice based on how you feel not stats or how others feel. You are the ruler of your body do what feels right to you and don't be pushed into anything that doesn't feel right to you.

My best wishes to you

I too would terminate if I had a child that I was sure was going to have serious genetic defects. People make their own choices based on their own beliefs.

Given that, have the amnio, and fast. You do not want to be in a position where you wait and then it really is too late to terminate. Hopefully if that were to happen you would make the best of it, but do you really want to be in a position where you resent your child for the rest of your life?

Honestly, you have to compare your reactions to two potentially devastating events - losing the baby because of the amnio, or having a child with a genetic defect. Hopefully neither happens, but to make your decision, you have to chose which one would be less awful.

Good luck with your choice.

Knowledge is power. Contrary to what some people are saying, the Amnio results won't be wrong nor can the doctor make a "mistake" since he simply receives the results of the Amnio from the laboratory and passes the information on to you. Unlike an ultrasound which isn't full proof, an Amnio is. Regardless of what you decide to do, I believe knowing one way or the other is important. Some things (some cases of Spina Bifida for example) can sometimes be treated in utero. Also, if there is a chromosomal abnormality, parents would have an opportunity to research specialists and the best hospitals to deliver their baby in. I've had two Amnio's and a CVS all performed at a practice that specializes in those tests and perinatal development. The expertise of those doctors lessened my risk of miscarriage to much less of the national average. (The benefits of living in Los Angeles!!!) So, I think that is a key factor. If you decide to have the test, do it soon and make sure it's done by someone who is tops in the field. Stay in bed for two days straight and no lifting for a week. Also, you can request an FSH test. It costs extra but it will give you preliminary results that I think are around 98-99% accurate in the next 24-48 hours. I'm really sorry you are going through this. It's so very hard. I've been there and my odds weren't nearly as good as yours. My first was a 1 in 7 chance and my girlfriend's was a 1 in 3 chance and both are boys are healthy BFF's today!!! I'm sure your little one will be fine. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

If it really is important to you and your hubby to have a child without a serious genetic defect, then do the test. I have two questions, though, can they tell from the test how serious the defect will be? And what do you consider serious?

My hubby always said he wouldn't do a serious defect. I'm 38. Our screen came back with a 1 in 350 chance of Down with my second child. We decided to not do the test because by 13 weeks, I am attached and there ain't no way you are taking the baby from me --no matter it's problems. With that said, I couldn't imagine life with a child with serious problems, and I get teary eyed whenever I see children with problems. I don't know if I could do it. I thankfully have two healthy children (second did have a kidney problem and needs surgery, but it's not a big deal."

I do think we won't be having any more children, however, because we don't want the risk.

What a hard decision. A hug for you.

You'd be surprised what you can do if there's enough LOVE to get through the daily routine. My pregnancy was a surprise after 40 and I had the amnio with good results. Best of luck to your family.

Since you all have made the decision to abort if there is a significant defect then I would do the amnio. I have birthed and cared for a terminally ill infant and we didn't know about it while I was pregnant, all we knew was that she was small for gestational age but developing "normally", we wouldn't have aborted regardless and chose not to do an amnio when given the opportunity. We did deal with it the best way we could but it was no picnic and the emotional scars, not to mention the way it impacted our lives, are things that can easily break you down if you already have a notion that it would be too much, it is a lot. We have no regrets with our decisions and are better parents and people now due to our experiences with her. This is a very personal decision and each couple is different so you have to make these decisions based on what you and your husband believe will work best for your family. Make sure that you and your husband are prepared for the judgment that family and even your closest of friends may pass on you for your decisions just to do the amnio to find out and you two have to stand strong together through whatever the outcome is. You two will also have to be prepared for the emotions that you two will experience if the tests come back positive for a severe disability. Please don't hesitate to seek out a good counselor because the stress of caring for a special needs child is great but the decisions that you are about to be faced with are probably about on the same level. Best of luck to you and your husband and I hope you are able to be at peace with whatever decisions you make and I hope that everything is ok and you don't have to make them.

Have the amnio...I had a an amnio with my last 2 pregnancies...it is not that terrible of a proceedure, and it gives you a peace of mind!

I want to start off by saying I have not read any other posts, and won't - and I am a Christian and will not judge you, but.........
why not have the baby and then put it up for adoption? There are SO MANY couples trying to have a baby - whether the baby is "healthy" or not.

Dear C.W.,

I think you should have the amnio. I was 38 when I got pregnant with my DD. We did the amnio because of my age and found that the baby has a chromosomal defect that has no physical markers. We were scared out of our minds but felt that we needed to know. So far our DD is fine and growing like a weed but there is always the chance that problems may surface along the way. The amnio helped prepare us for the challenges that are ahead of us.
The amnio part itself is uncomfortable. My husband went with me and held my hand (I think he was more scared than I was) and I took my iPod and when they started the amnio my doctor had me put the earbuds in and close my eyes. There was a pinch and a pulling sensation. Took about 5 minutes. Afterwards I was a little sore and took it easy the rest of the day.

Good luck!

i can tell you that when we were pregnant with our two my high risk ob informed us that there was a etreamly high rate if false positives with the blood trest for downs. I can not remember the exact number but it was some thing like 70 some thing% of babies that show signs of downs were actually born healthy. It seems that a concern if yours is the rate if mis carriage if the baby is in fact healthy? I can tell you what I would say if you were my best friend... I would advise you not to do the amnio. Its notd worth the chance if the child is indeed healthy. If this child did turn out to be disabled and you & your hubby were not able or prepared to take care of him or her...there are many people out there that can & would gladly raise the child! I know what a scary time pregnancy can be especially when faced with such scary possibles. You grits will be in my prayers.
J.

It sounds like you and your husband have made the decision if your baby is special needs. But, you also said "he feels" you guys are not prepared - before you make this decision make sure YOU feel the same. With this said, if it is and your decision is made, then I would go forward with the amnio. It will give you peace of mind and help with your decision. It sounds like if you don't do the amnio, you are going to question this throughout your pregnancy.

I personally chose not to have the amnio, although my husband wanted me to, because I knew I would keep my baby. This was my choice and you are entitled to yours. I believe your pregnancy should be a happy time for everyone and I wanted to enjoy my pregnancy and not be subconcsiously sad that my baby could be special needs.... he was born very, very healthy and a typical, active boy.

All the best.

I was 38 when my last child was born. I have a genetic history BUT still didn't want the amnio. Considering the results of the Triple Screen or AFP blood work, they recommended the amnio. Knowing the AFP is ONLY a screen and not a test, we decided that doing the amnio outweighed not doing it. I'd rather know what I'm in for than not. We could then read, talk to specialist, etc., and be informed of the childs issues prior to birth. We would not plan to terminate (our personal feelings).
So, we did the amnio. It was scary, I will admit that I cried like a baby and made the nurses nervous. My genetic counselor came in and calmed me and the procedure when off fine. My results were normal and so is my son.
My very good friend did the AFP and it was normal ranges. Her daughter was born with Downs a year before my son. Knowing what they went through, we just wanted to be more preparred. They spent that first month crash coursing on the books, drs, and other needs that they couldn've started learning before birth.
Just plan to spend the 48 hours after amnio resting and you should be fine. I wish you prayers that all turns out the way you hope. Good luck!

You are completely correct in the sense it is YOUR decision. Please know that the doctors can be absolutely incorrect and these "test" they perform cannot be deemed as reliable either. You have to weigh your options. For me, I did the research and found that the test can come up positive when you are carrying twins and not necessarily be correct. Granted its been 7 years ago almost 8 years ago since I was pregnant so things may have changed. However, I had already been hit with the surprise of having twins and felt like regardless of what kind of result I got -I wasn't going to terminate and all in all its not in MY hands its in God's. I trusted in that and refused to get the test and felt like no matter what happened I made the right choice. I'm not saying you shouldn't get the test but just know that if you decide to go ahead with it -they "could" be wrong and you may very well terminate a pregnancy that is indeed completely healthy and you and only you can make that decision and feel comfortable with what you decide to do and this decision isn't an easy one by any means.
Also ob/gyn's are great, as well as "specialist" and every other provider to see while you are considered "high risk" however don't bank on one person's "opinion". I was told many things being pregnant with twins by the specialist and then told something different by my ob-gyn. I trust my ob fully and the specialist was just that-a specialist. Get as many opinions as you possibly can -even go for a second opinion if you have to in order to make your decision but just know this is more of an "experience" thing or what they "think" kind of decision which makes it even more difficult. That is the problem because if someone could give you solid "proof" no question about it that your child was down syndrome then your decision would be a little more easier-not saying it would be easier but a lot "simplier". I just always felt like whatever God dealt me -he has his reasons. I often ask "why" twins because my husband and I barely make ends meet and this was our first pregnancy without any help and I only wanted one but looking back through all the shock -I wouldn't have it any other way. God chose ME and MY husband...not anyone else in my family so far-I was the only grandchild out of 8 to have twins-he chose me for a reason. God blessed me with two HEALTHY baby girls and even though we struggle and it gets hard sometimes-in the end its all worth it and I am thankful for my blessings! I couldn't and wouldn't be able to trade it for anything else in the world. I believe that every person has a purpose-no matter the amount of time they spend on this earth. I understand your decision and commend you for being honest and truthful with yourself-God knows what you can handle and what you can't and sometimes you are capable of things you never imagined-I never ever imagined I would have been able to do this having twins but God has truly blessed me and seen me through everything so far and I think that as long as I keep my trust in him he will continue to bless us. I don't know if you are religious or not but I just want to say that please pray upon your decision and I'm not trying to say you are wrong for what you said -it's your decision I just hope and pray that it is the "right" decision. I pray that everything is fine and your baby is completely healthy and that these test will prove that and be correct in the results in the end.