Am I the Only One Going to Bed at 7:30Pm Because Baby Can't Sleep Without Me?

Updated on February 09, 2010
R.S. asks from Beverly Hills, CA
9 answers

I'm not really sure what to do. My lovely daughter, who used to be a great sleeper, has suddenly decided that she needs to start going to sleep at 7:30pm, but she will only go to sleep as long as I'm actually holding her. To be fair, she's always had this problem, but when she was younger, she was fine with sleeping on my lap while I worked, or my husband and I watched tv. Now, it has to be in bed, in the dark. We've always co-slept with her at night, which is fine, but she's also always taken naps in her crib so it's not like she's not used to sleeping there. For some reason, it's just at night that she absolutely won't sleep in the crib. I can't keep going to bed at 7:30 pm! Any suggestions would be great!

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B.S.

answers from Honolulu on

There are a lot of different methods that people will suggest. I like the book Health Sleep habits, Happy Child because Dr. Weissbluth, the author, explains different scenarios and their outcomes. He doesn't say that you have to do things only one way, he just provides the facts. I would get a copy of this book if I were you, it's made a huge difference in my life and the lives of many of my friends. :)

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D.B.

answers from Providence on

What about putting her to sleep in your bed, and sneaking out? Leave her in the bed surrounded by pillows so you don't have to worry about roll-offs.

This is how I put my son to sleep...and have since his birth...he's 3 now.

Good luck.

http://www.thewritersnotion.com

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B.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Sounds like me, but I'm a sleeper. Now that she's older, it's me having a hard time that she's going to sleep on her own and in her own room. She's 3 1/2 now and maybe your daughter will outgrow that. I knew that it wasn't always going to be that way so I just cherished those moments.

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A.N.

answers from Las Vegas on

I used to have this problem, and it can definitely become a big problem. You need your down time, and for me the evening is the only time I get it, if you aren't getting any other time, you'll probably go crazy.

I would try to push the crib. I used to nurse my son to sleep in my bed and leave him, and he would always wake up an hour or so later (which he wouldn't do with me). I don't like CIO, but I did do it when he was about 14 months old (not the scared or frantic cries), I had to for my own sanity. He now sleeps in his crib at night, but won't sleep in it during the day. He has changed maybe every month or so with his sleeping patterns for the last year (he is now 17 months old), normally because of teething or sickness, I just look at it each time as a phase, and work on it when I can.

One more thing, my son recently went through a week or two where he would not go to sleep in his crib, he would just scream like he was being tortured, so I would get him out. Turns out, we had put in a nightlight in there, and it was really scaring him, enough so that he wouldn't sleep. I also left his door open one night (I always close it), and he woke up in the middle of the night frantic, and that was the reason. Any weird shadows can be scary, try a nightlight (since she is used to sleeping in it during the day), different nightlight locations, no nightlight, just look around for weird lights and shadows and try to get her comfortable in the room with the lights off, not in the crib, but just with you, maybe playing.

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S.D.

answers from Topeka on

I luv going to bed after my kids & that is 7:45 they are 6 in kindergarten 3 preschool &10months.Sounds silly but Ithat is my down time no housework!!

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L.S.

answers from Reno on

I have an 11 month old that co-slept with us from the beginning. I would lay down with her and nurse her, then she would fall asleep, and then I would get up and go to bed a couple hours later. At about 8 months she started waking up if I got up, crying, wanting to nurse back to sleep, then I would leave again and not 5 minutes later she would wake up and cry for me. I was so sleep deprived I decided to train her to sleep in her crib. It only took a couple nights, she only cried a very short amount of time (like 10 minutes the first night, then 2 minutes the next 2 nights then just fell to sleep as soon as I put her in her crib). I was never one to let my girls cry it out but it worked and was such a smooth transition! We're both happier and get a good nights sleep!

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M.T.

answers from Honolulu on

Kids learn what you teach them. Teach them to sleep with you and they learn
to sleep with you. Teach them to sleep in their own bed without you and
that is what they learn,.

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M.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

HI R.,
It sounds like your daugher is yanking your chain!! She does this, because you allow it. Don't you think if you just put her in her crib and let her cry, she would eventually fall asleep on her own? That's the problem, you never taught your daughter to fall asleep by herself. I was in the same boat as you a while ago until I read a great book called "The Sleep Sense Program". I have the book on line if you want me to send it to you. It gives you other options then just the cry it out (CIO) method if that is what you are avoiding. I really suggest read it, this book changed my family's life, and now my daughter sleeps in her own bed all night long.....which is a miracle. My email is ____@____.com.
I hope to hear from you soon!
M.

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J.F.

answers from Raleigh on

I had this same issues with my daughter. We co slept with her till she was 13 months and finally transitioned to the crib in another room. I would have to wait till she was good and sleep and pull the comforter around her and my pillow and sneak out. It is not fun, but it works. And if she woke i would lay with er and repeat the sneaking out.

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