Am I Putting Alyssa to Bed Too Late?

Updated on November 01, 2009
S.R. asks from Pawtucket, RI
26 answers

Alyssa is 6mo old. its 9:17 now and she's whining because she's put to bed. we have a pretty established routine. almost every night i feed her some baby food with infant cereal, then its bath time, bottle and bed. but sometimes she just wont go to sleep at the 8:00 time i try to get her in bed. she gets really cranky EVERY DAY around 6pm and that is when every day gets a little stressful. so it could be that she's tired, but i put her down for 1-2 naps a day. she usually wakes up in the morning about 8-9am every morning. so am i putting her to bed too late? i hear other people say they put their kids to bed by 7:30. i dont want to ruin the established schedule, but if she is getting tired and cranky at 6, then maybe she needs bed earlier? and thats much more free time i could have at night. so i guess the question really is... what is an appropriate bedtime for a 6mo old??

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So What Happened?

i think you guys are right. its gonna be difficult to get our own schedule going because im so young, im still pretty used to people telling me what to do all the time, i guess nows the perfect time to take initiative with Alyssa. i put her down today when she started to get cranky and she has been sleeping for 2 and a half hours now. its very nice to get this break. normally i would've looked at the clock and said "she's not supposed to have a nap till 4pm." but its very nice to get this mid-day break. but now im a little worried that if she sleeps too long she wont go to bed until 11:30 or something rediculous like that. i guess its just a learning process that i have to go through so i can be an even better mom. thanks all you moms that gave me advice.

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L.P.

answers from Lewiston on

Maybe you could switch to one nap, either right before or right after lunch. Then she might be ready for bed around 7:00 - 7:30. If she's tired at 6:00 then she's ready for an earlier bedtime. Have you ever put her down at 6:00? How long does she sleep? Good luck

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C.A.

answers from Boston on

Wow, it seems like you have your hands full!! Congrats on the new baby, enjoy this age it goes by sooo fast. First of all you need to stop listening to everyone else... when a child is 1 to 1 and a half they will start having a routine that will put them to bed around 7 or 7:30 for some even earlier but at 6 months you still need to be taking ques from your child instead of sticking to a schedule. You should be focusing on a routine rather than a scheudle... what's the difference you ask... there is a huge difference. A schedule means you are watching the clock and not your child's ques to tell you when you should be doing things. A routine is a set sequence of events that gives an infant a sense of "knowing" what comes next. This is calming to an infant or toddler and also gives them a sense of control. Sooo, at 6 months your child should be taking 2 naps a day and it is very common for them to go to bed much later than a toddler. If you would like her to go to bed earllier try waking her earlier in the morning... the 6 o'clock fussies are probably the need for her second nap if she didn't have one that day, or what some people call her "witching hour" this is usually the time of night a child is just "done" they don't want to play, or sit, or do anything but they aren't nessisarily tired either.... most parents just learn to deal with it :) Good Luck!!

1 mom found this helpful
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C.B.

answers from Boston on

My daughter was colicky and she cried from 6 to 10 every night for the first 6 months of her life. I used to just carry her in a sling while doing stuff early and later in the evening I would nurse her and let her sleep on my lap while I watched tv (and nurse again) sometimes until midnight. At 6 months your daughter probably still needs 2 naps: mine napped about 2 hours after waking for about an hour and then from about 1-3 PM. But if you feel she should not be in bed and she is just crying to get out, then just get her out and start a different routine. The difficulty with kids is: just when you think you know a routine that worked for a while, they change and need a new routine. Try to nap whenever she is napping so you do not get too sleep deprived. Cheers!

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K.N.

answers from Boston on

soon enoughyou will realize that her schedule will change.all babies establish a routine and then just like that it changes

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K.C.

answers from Boston on

My now 21-month-old's bedtime has always been 9:00pm. As long as she is getting 12-ish hours of sleep a night, she's probably doing fine. When he was six months old, he always got cranky at that time of day too. My pediatrician told me that it's completely normal - even WE'RE grumpy by that time of the day. But, it is also important to follow your baby's cues. You could try putting her to bed an hour earlier or so and see how she does. If she's really attached to her routine, she probably won't want to go to sleep that early. Anyway, sleep problems are really tough. Good luck!

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W.D.

answers from Boston on

if the schedule works for you, then leave it alone.. we always called that time of evening the "bewitching hour" because our kids both had cranky times every night at a certain age. Or.. you can wake her up earlier in the morning in a while, which means she'll get more tired earlier that night, which may eventually switch her to an earlier bedtime. and sometimes, giving her a quick nap, even at 6pm work too. good luck

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

Hi S.! It sounds like you are doing a great job, I wouldn't worry too much about sticking to a solid routine right now, she is still so young and they are still changing so much. I put my kids to bed when they were tired, (at that age, now they are older so they have a set bed time)less chance of them crying and stressing me out. Just watch her, keep things low key at night, when it's close to that time when you think she may get tired and then put her in. But! Don't stress if things don't always go according to plan, she is still so little. My daughter stayed up that late when she was that age, but my son went earlier because that is what he needed. Every baby is different, just because one thing worked for someone else doesn't mean it's going to work for you and your little one. You are doing great!!
Jen

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S.M.

answers from Boston on

I would also suggest that Alyssa may still need three naps. My 8-month old boy is only just now starting to transition from three naps to two. Try putting her down after she's been awake for two to two-and-a-half hours at a stretch, rather than at set times. : )

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M.J.

answers from Boston on

Perhaps you are. My younger daughter used to get cranky around 6:30, I did the same routine but I put her to bed early, as she got older the bed time routine continue but the bed time hour changed. Now she goes to bed @ 8pm with the same exact routine. I say go with what she wants for now, put her to bed early but continue doing what you are doing in regard to your routine. I have been reading some of your other posting, want to say that you are doing a good job as a young mom. Parenting is hard enough so you don't need anyone adding to your stress level. Keep up the good work.

MBJ.

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J.C.

answers from Chicago on

sounds like she is requesting an earlier bed time.......at that age a lot of babies are taking a morning and afternoon nap too......by the way great name one of my daughters is alyssa too

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L.L.

answers from Portland on

So try the early bedtime, yes? If it does not work out you can always go back to the later time.
Dont think you will traumatize the baby by trying...hehe
What is most important is to have a regular routine..specific times for naps, bedtime, meals. Children do best when they have a regular routine and know what to expect when.
Its really okay to try something you think may work better...no shame if it doesnt...some children need a bit of testing to see what works best for them.
Try it for a week or two, not two or three days.
Best wishes and God bless
Grandmother Lowell

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M.L.

answers from Burlington on

When my son was 6 months old, I remember that getting the correct sleep routine was so difficult (really until he was about a year and went to one nap) because it changed often. When he was 6 months old, though, he did take 3 naps, with the last taking place around 5:30 at night. This was a short nap--usually only about an hour, and then he generally went to bed around 9PM. I didn't notice if others mentioned it, but I had gotten this WONDERFUL sleep book called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" which talked about babies up to 6 months of age needing to be awake no more than 2-2.5 hours at a time. I found that this rule applied to my son until he was more like 8 or 9 months of age when he could then go to about 3-4 hours and move to 2 naps. This third late nap is usually the first to go, but at 6 months, my son clearly needed it.

Hope this helps!

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G.H.

answers from Boston on

Check out the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child," by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. It is a lifesaver and will answer your questions and help you establish a healthy, age-appropriate sleep regimen from infancy through the school years.

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K.G.

answers from Burlington on

Put her to bed just before she is cranky. My 2 1/2 and 12mos old both go to bed at 7PM.

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M.

answers from Providence on

Hi Alyssa!
Congratulations on your baby and your marriage!! Have you tried adjusting her schedule a bit? Maybe try waking her up a little earlier in the am, and move her naps earlier so that she is ready for bed earlier at night. Unless of course, this schedule works for YOU!! That is what matters, what works for you and your family. At least for now, while you can let her sleep. You will have to adjust her schedule a bit soon anyway, once the clocks change, so if you want to change the times, that may be the best time to do it. Good Luck!
Good luck!
M.

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L.S.

answers from New London on

You didn't say what time your baby girl wakes up in the morning ... Also, 1 to 2 naps may not be enough. a 6 month old may need a morning nap, which is usually continuation of nighttime sleep, an after lunch nap, and a late afternoon nap. My son used to take an evening nap around 6-9 and then wake up to eat again and stay up until 10:00 or 11pm go back to sleep. I was still breastfeeding. This changed over time and he would go to sleep earlier and earlier. You don't always have to have an established routine, sometimes babies just make their own routine. I would watch your baby for cues. I am thinking that you can keep your 8:00 bedtime but she may need to wake up and eat again. We were always up late with my son, but that was because he took a late evening nap. At 10 months his bedtime was 9 oclock and slept until 9 am and he still takes a long afternoon nap. So there is no perfect bedtime, just what works for you and your baby.

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C.F.

answers from Pittsfield on

Just wanted to second the recommendation below that you pick up the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. I'm a mom of 7, and it saved my sanity. It's not as common sense as we think it should be. I really needed to be taught, and this book walked me through the process of training my kids to sleep, plus I could keep referring to it with each subsequent baby. My kids all went to bed by 7pm until they were in first grade. Anyway, it's well worth the $10 or so you'll spend on it. Good luck.

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K.W.

answers from Burlington on

Hi,
I really recommend the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbuth. He's a pediatric sleep specialist. He talks about recognizing baby's sleep signals and how much babies should be sleeping at certain ages and when naps should occur. We followed the recommendation that the baby be put to sleep after 2-3 hours of being awake and it worked amazingly well for our son who started sleeping through the night at 4 months and still is sleeping well at 13 months. At 6 months our son was waking up between 6-7am, taking first nap about 2-3 hours after getting up, from 9-11am, then second nap from 1-3pm, then to bed at 6-6:30. It is crazy how true it is that babies (even at 6 months) do well being but down to sleep after being awake for 2-3 hours at a time. We found that that fussiness around 6pm that you describe was that our baby was ready for bed for the night. When we recognized that it was amazing how much better he slept through the night and how much more time we had for oursleves. Good luck!!

M.L.

answers from Hartford on

I do about 8 but it is up to u! It depends on her naps too! If she naps late then she won't go to bed til later.

M. - SAHM of three 5,3,1

i also work from home and love it!

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M.D.

answers from Boston on

Although most babies that young sort of make their own schedule and dont follow an established routine, 8pm may be too late. Babies actually sleep better and later in the morning if they are put to bed earlier. I know, this doesn't seem to make sense, but the cause of a lot of crankiness and sleeping problems is actually getting too little sleep. Its a cycle: the more good sleep a baby gets, the more she will want. Thats why if a baby misses a nap, she'll struggle with you at bedtime, because shes over-tired.
If you are concerned about sleep issues, look into the book "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. Your daughter is at the perfect age to start some of the things in the book. Im not sure how you get your baby to sleep now, but if I may add my opinion, don't use the "Cry-it-out" method. Its very unhealthy for babies.

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L.M.

answers from Boston on

Hi S.,
When my son was 6 months old, he went to bed for the night at 6. I could not keep him awake any longer, he wanted to sleep, and he would sleep through the night. He would take 2 solid naps a day and down for the night at 6. Nobody could believe he would go to bed so early, but it was what he wanted and needed. Try putting her down when she is tired at 6 and see what happens. She might surprise you! Good luck!
L.

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J.S.

answers from Boston on

hi S.! I see you already got lots of responses but can't resist chiming in. I agree that you have to find what works for you & your little one, and following HER lead for a routine at this age is perfect. I enjoyed the Baby Whisperer books by Tracy Hogg. I think a routine is very useful and benefits Mom & baby. I saw another post recommended the Weisbluth book - I would absolutely advise against that book (it's all about crying it out).

Anyway, at that age my little one took THREE naps per day, and then went to bed around 8 or 9ish. Below's what I wrote in her journal from then - good luck:

"She tends to go through several 3 hour cycles per day of eating, activity and sleeping. For example:
7:30 eat (just nurse)
9:10 eat (2 tbsp oatmeal & 2 tbsp milk, 1 tbsp pears)
sometime between 9:20 – 10:30 nap for 1.5 hrs
12:10 eat (2 tbsp squash, 2 tbsp carrots, __ oz bottle)
12:30 nap (1.5 hrs or so))
3:10 eat (2 tbsp sweet peas, 2 tbsp sweet potatoes, __ oz bottle)
4:00 nap (1.5 hrs or so)

Napping:
If she’s been up for more than 1.5 - 2.0 hrs and is cranky she is probably in need of a nap. It’s easier to get her to sleep if you get her to lay down before she gets too cranky –watch for yawns or rubbing her eyes. "

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X.D.

answers from Boston on

Daylight Saving Time ends soon and we will be falling back an hour.... I wouldn't try to change anything until then. She is still very young and it sounds to me like you are a diligent parent. Most kids do have a cranky time around the dinner hour. They might be tired, but they may also sense our stress as we make dinner and do the thousand other domestic tasks that need to be done. If you are on a schedule and she is sleeping the required number of hours a day (I think it's around 14 hours off the top of my head), then I wouldn't worry. My kids always woke before the birds at that age so count your blessings!

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K.B.

answers from Boston on

I would guess that she maybe needs a late afternoon nap. My son never did this, but I know a lot of babies that would take a third nap around 5pm. This nap was usually shorter, maybe an hour or so, followed by a short awake time, dinner and bedtime routine. This may help put her in the right frame of mind for bed. In the next few months, she'll probably lose this nap and possibly transfer into an earlier bedtime, especially as she transitions her feeding into more regular mealtimes with solids. Jake has gone to bed around 7 or so for a while, but he sleeps 12 hours a night consistently. I have a lot of friends whose babies went to bed between 8-9 until they were almost a year because they only slept 8-10 hours at night, and woke up between 5-6am. I don't think you're keeping her up too late, I think she just may need a little extra naptime! These are the questions that every new mom has, and 6 months is a time of major transitions for babies, so don't think that you're doing anything wrong. 6 months is when we first started really getting Jake on a schedule, so you're ahead of where I was at this point! Good luck and congratulations on your marriage and little girl!

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M.M.

answers from Boston on

I wouldn't worry TOO much about messing up a sleep routine with a 6 month old. Popular advice says you shouldn't even bother TRYING to sleep-train an infant UNTIL 6 months.

I also wouldn't judge your routine against anyone elses. Not only is every KID different, but every family runs on a different schedule. For example, my family is up by 5am every morning, and that fact influences when my son takes his naps and when bedtime eventually arrives.

My suggestion is to use your instints and listen to your baby's cues for a bit, and go ahead and put her to bed early! See what happens? It could be that she's ready for bed earlier than you think. Or that she needs an additional nap during the day? Most of all, don't worry about it too much. Learn sleepy cues and try EVERYTHING before you get committed to one particular routine. Besides, I hate to break it to you, but give it another 3 months and she'll be ready for something different! lol Good luck!

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H.R.

answers from Hartford on

Trust yourself.

Stick to a routine before bedtime...we did bath, bottle, book, bed and don't worry as much about the clock. Consider moving the food up a little earlier as it doesn't need to be part of the bedtime routine when there's already a bottle.

Consider 2-3 naps, or definitely 2. I don't think one nap is enough for a 6 mo old. Again, consider routine. Book, lullaby,...bed at naptime or something like that.

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