Am I Being over Protective

Updated on April 12, 2009
P.L. asks from Garland, TX
8 answers

My husband and I are no longer together and he has a move in girlfriend living with him. Even before she moved in I have had issues with him not putting panties on our toddler daughter. His mother believes that that area needs to breathe, but personally I find it very strange and wrong for her not to wear panties. When we are in public and if she is playing around or something you can see that she doesn't have any on. I have told him that I believe that she should wear panties and that she had no reason not to have them on, but its like running into a wall and going nowhere. I am just being paranoid and over protective? She landed in ER once ffrom being bitten by ants and now we have to carry an epi pen with us everywhere and I have one and made sure to give his mother one as well as him and daycare, but I don't see that they store it properly nor do they carry it with them when they take my daughter to the park. I am so scared that something may happen to my daughter when she is in his care just from mere laziness.

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answers from Wichita Falls on

When you say that you don't see them store the pen - do you mean that you see them store it improperly, or they tell you they've got it handled and refuse to show you? I ask because there is a difference - and sometimes it is a control thing. As in, you want to be in control (because this is your baby), and he wants to make you scream.

My daughter wore knee length cotton shorts (not underwear) due to recurrent problems with UTI, but she never showed anything on the playground. I would talk to my attorney, were I you, and possibly CPS about supervised visitation.

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answers from Dallas on

I think you have SENSE and your husband and his mother lack in the area!!

I understand the "breathe" part...I often let my daughter walk around THE HOUSE w/no panties/pull-ups on...30 minutes maybe...not out in public or all day long! It's also a health risk, as far as, her private parts being exposed to sandboxes, dirt, slides....the list goes on.

If a Dr prescribed your child an Epi pen, then whoever has her in their care needs to be able to access it ASAP, and it needs to be stored properly!

Unfortunately if they don't take this serious it will only harm your daughter. If they won't listen to your opinion on the matter (Epi-Pen) maybe they would listen to a's considered negligence if you are given instruction to prevent serious harm and you ignore...your ex and his mother are extremely negligent in this matter. If you cannot afford an attorney, I would make an appt w/your pedi and have your ex and his mother join you at the dr visit so he/she can explain to them how important it is that they carry that around w/them AT ALL TIMES!!!

Good luck to you and your sweet girl!!

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answers from Dallas on

Definitely NOT over protective, I would say that your husband is lacking in common sense. Your daughter should wear panties, I cannot believe that his mother would even suggest that. I can understand the breathing thing, but cotton panties are absolutely fine! I would be more concerned about child predators. What about curious children who might see her while playing on the jungle gym, and want to touch because it is something unfamiliar. I say put your foot down on that one, as well as the epi pen. That could be very dangerous if she ended up getting bit, how scary.

Stand your ground mom!

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answers from Dallas on

Whoa...Red flags are being thrown in my face. Not carrying an epi pen??? That's very, very poor parenting.

And the underwear...does he not realize that people can see her privates when she's acting like a normal kid & flipping around? He doesn't think she needs them? Seriously? He seems like such an idiot. Tell him to let her private area air out at home. He needs to put them on her in public. There are too many weirdos out there right now.



answers from Dallas on

Call your attorney that did your child support/visitation. Tell him/her about the panties and the epi-pen. That's all you need to do.


answers from Dallas on

I'm sorry you have to go through all this and being pregnant at the same time.
My grandmother believed like your mother-in-law does, my mother was angry about it. My grandmother was only about "breathing" at nighttime though... Anyway, you need to talk with him and be firm that you are the mother, not his, and it's not appropriate for your daughter to run around without any panties on. Ask him, do you think when she goes to school they will allow it? Tell him you want to raise her with morals and some form of modesty; throw it in his face, well, when she's 15 and 16 and goes on dates and isn't wearing any panties, don't say anything to me about it then!!! I'm sure he'll do a 180 right then... no daddy wants to hear something like that...
Please try to relax being pregnant and don't let your husband/maybe ex, get to you more than he has.
I'm praying for you!
God Bless!



answers from Dallas on

I do not think you are over protective at all. A little girl needs underwear, it protects her private parts from germs/infection and gives coverage.
I'm assuming she wears underwear when using skirts, and he lets her skip the underwear ONLY when she is wearing pants or tights. if he lets her wear skirts without underwear and doesn't worry about child molesters then he sounds a little twisted and it's a huge red flag JMO. I really haven't met the first father who wasn't worried about strangers looking at their little girls private parts.

I agree with the others who say just talk to your lawyer/cps or the right authority about supervised visits if all else fails.



answers from Dallas on

Call your atty or CPS. he is not being a responsible parent and putting your child at risk!

I am in a simular situation so i understand you wanting to keep peace with your husband. When things indanger your child - child comes FIRST!

My husband has the since that there are sick people out there in the world and would be protective of her private parts. Those kind of people often frequent parks, zoo and other places where children are. HE IS OFFERING THEM A FREE PEEP SHOW!!!!

At NO point is this ok!!! Do something about it NOW!


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