Am I a Bad Mom? Mom Dilemma....

First off you are not a bad Mom. You care enough to want your kids to have a better life-to have a home, good food, a healthy Mom, a safe vehicle to drive, and not so money stressed. Work or Stay At Home- that seems to be a common question. For me my Husband makes more money than I ever could working 2 jobs-so I can stay at home. If Money is tight no matter what you do it will always seem tight. Their is never enough. Just because you planned on being a Stay At Home Mom, and now you deciede to Work it's not the end of the world. Your kids will know that you love them either way. Just spend the time you do get with them extra special for a while. Then a routeen will work itself out. I think if you want to go to work even for the social aspect of it, you should. Later on, if you deciede that work isn't for you quit. Atleast you tried. And your kids will love the added attention they will get from your Mother-in-Law. Special time away from Mom. I'm sure your Mother-in-Law will love all the attention she will get from the kids. What a gift to be able to share your kids with family. My friend has the same situation-kids in daycare, or with her/his parents so she can work. The kids are just so happy. And they really have a great appreciation of family. They also have a great social aspect, and seem to learn a lot from being around their piers. Something my kids seem to lack, as I am a Stay At Home Mom. Being a Stay at Home Mom is wonderful. To have the kids everyday, and stressful at the same time. So really whatever you deciede your kids will be all the better because you choose to do what is best for them. Try work-see how things go with daycare and so on. If not it's not the end of the world. Good Luck.

Of course you are not a bad mom. Don't give into the pressure to be a "perfect mom" with others setting the standards (arbitrary as they may be) for what constitutes perfect. There is no such thing as a perfect mom and to be a good parent you need to do what works best for you and your family. I have two children and I stayed home for 15 months with the first, which was rewarding in its own ways but frustrating in others. When an opportunity to go back to work with my favorite client came along, it was too good to pass up. My daughter began family care 4 days a week and positively thrived there, particularly as she grew older and could use the social interaction. We also found that having different caregivers made her more flexible in her eating and sleeping habits. She is as healthy emotionally and intellectually as any other kids out there whose mommies stayed home. I know many daycare/family care kids that have been in care since 3 mo and are similarly normal and thriving. My own 4 month old will start family care in a month and I expect her to do well too, with some extra effort on our part to make family time quality time. You have an enviable option in having your child with caregivers you know and can visit daily as well as a relative that can provide the baby with one-on-one attention several times a week. You should grab this opportunity to have your own classroom; if it doesn't work out (and it will be hard for you at first), you can always rethink it next year. If work makes you feel fulfilled and happy (and contributes financially where $ is needed), your family and your child will benefit from it. You don't have to stay at home to be a good parent. It's a choice, like any other, and ultimately you know what's best for your family. It sounds to me from your message like you already know what the right choice is.

A.,

By no means are you a bad mom. I put my son in day care at 3 months old and I felt the same way, but it has been so GOOD for him. He has friends that he hugs and plays with every day. He is learning how to play with others and how to share. He is way more advanced then my niece that doesn't go to day care or any special groups. I think it is all about the day care center you choose. Trust me it will be hard to leave him there it took me a long time to stop calling in to check on him, but if it is a good center and you and your husband need the money there is nothing wrong with it. You could also do a work from home type of business too if that would make you feel better.

Hope this helps,
A.

We are all so conditioned to feel like working outside the home makes us "bad" mothers. The last time I checked, earning money for the family and enriching your own life does not make a person bad!! It is hard to leave your child in day care, I won't argue that point, but a woman working is a normal thing. It's just that we feel things differently than men and we have a harder time. I have a two year old who has been in day care since 3 months, and next month my baby will be going at 3 months. I am definitely sad to be dropping the baby off, but that's partially because it means my return to work, too! My two year old loves it and has gained friends, social skills, strong verbal skills, and everything in between. I am a school teacher so I have the summer off, which doesn't make day care seem so awful, and I think you'd be in the same position with your job? Regardless, many of us have to work too or the bills couldn't be paid by hubby alone... don't feel like you are bad or unusual because you are not alone! Do what's right and best for your family and it will all work out.

Hi A.,
i just thought i would throw the idea of working at home out there. I recently started working from home & it's wonderful because you don't have to sacrifice time with your family. If you were interested check out my website www.themoneymakingmom.com & click on "get info now" and i will contact you shortly

You are not a bad mom. I have just recently decided to stay home. I have a 22 month old and anothe ron the way in september. I actually am going to be taking in day care kids in my house but have often thought that working at a center would be a better option as I would be out of the house with other adults and could see my kids and really see the type of care they are getting. Unfortunately with two kids I don't think working at a center would be worth my while financially. My son is a great kid and I think in part it is due to the fact that he went to daycare. he's not a really clingingy kid and loves to explore. My philosophy is that everything happens for a reason and not many people can say that they got offered a job they didn't apply for. DO what will be best for your family! Good Luck!

you are not a bad mom. i am strugglig with the same thing. i never thought i wanted to be a sahm but now that he is here, how can i not? by going back to work, you are providing more opportunities for him and he'll be right there with you, even though in the other classroom. good luck with your decision but i say go for it! i think it will be the right decision:)

I don't think you are a bad mother at all. I went back to work when my son was 2 and a 1/2 months old. I struggled at first but now that I am back at work I really enjoy balancing the two. I believe my son needs the interaction with other children. We had my son in a home daycare until about 11 months old and had some issues with the lady and one of our very close friends had to stop working when she got pregnant with her third child and got her license to do home daycare and we moved our son with her and he is doing great. As my mom puts it, me working and being able to give my son whatever he wants makes me a good mother!!! Good luck...its hard at first but you'll adjust an you might just like the balance.