Almost 5 with Abscessed Tooh!!!! Freaking Out!

Updated on October 22, 2009
A.V. asks from Chandler, AZ
20 answers

Out of nowhere pops this "growth" on my daughters gum. Came on mamasource and found a dentist to go to. Dr Creach? at Pediatric Dental Specialists (Elliot/101) He seemed very knowledgeable and was patient with my questions and more importantly, my daughter.

Xrays show a big grey area above her tooth. Its an infection. Here are the options

1. Root canal - Dr doesn't think it will work because the remaining roots are so short/small (kinda pointless to do root canal and crown on a tooth that will fall out anyway) He advises against this.
2. Antibiotics - Dr says infection will go away, but will keep coming back (bad idea to overuse antibiotics and build up resistance. He does not advise this.
3. Pull the tooth - Eliminates the infection, keep it from spreading. His recommendation is to pull the tooth.

DD is 5 in Nov. Who knows when her tooth would naturally fall out. I am worried about her confidence/self esteem (she was very very shy, and we have made great progress) Her being the only one with a missing tooth for who knows how long, 1-4 years?!

So I went online and found maybe they could cut the gum and drain the infection (and use antibiotics) She happens to be on antibiotics right now for something else.

Anybody have experience with this? She just seems so young to pull a tooth and leave her toothless for years!

What do you think? How to proceed? Who would you recommend as dentist for 2nd opinion?

THank you all so much. I know I will get some great, insightful answers. I love this site. You mamas are great!

Amy

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So What Happened?

Thank you all so much for your insightful answers, it has really helped me! So, we got a second opinion who agreed the tooth needed to come out. We went in today for the appointment. Dr Creech was recommended on here. That is who we went to. I had a good feeling about him when I set the initial appt. I was not let down. He did an EXCELLENT job, and his staff was wonderful. My dd truly did not feel a thing. I watched VERY closely. WHEW! He explained she had a sick tooth and it needed to come out, that she had lost a tooth. When she was resting, they had me go pay. Then they all came out and told me they had her look in the mirror and she was fine. Wow. Amazing. Such relief! And she wasn't playing tough, she really was fine. I explained the tooth fairy when we got home and she was so excited. She drew the tooth fairy a picture and put it in the box we had for the occasion. I AM SO INCREDIBLY RELIEVED! Oh, and I had contacte her teacher. 2 other kids in her class have already lost teeth. They have a teeth chart and make a big deal of it. How cool! I kept her out of school today because I had no idea how this would go. So tomorrow she'll be the center of attention for the tooth chart. Thanks again girls (and guys) Your help was, as usual, invaluable!

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R.C.

answers from Phoenix on

I wouldn't worry so much about her self esteem by losig a tooth before her friends. Actually,she might think it's cool. Either way, I think removing the tooth is probably the best bet at her age.

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A.D.

answers from Phoenix on

Kids teeth start falling out at this age, both of my older kids started losing teeth right at their 5th birthdays. There will be plenty of other kids that will be toothless and probably already are. The more you worry about appearances the more she will. Why put that on a kid already?

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L.W.

answers from Phoenix on

My daughter is 6 and has had all of her molar 1s pulled (molar right after the canine tooth)... yep... all 4. The pedi dentist put spacers in. Honestly, unless you knew you really can't see the missing teeth unless her mouth is WIDE open (and she's always talking, so it's not really noticeable! LOL) We had to pay to get her knocked out, 'cause the dental insurance did not cover anesthesia. But it was definitely well worth it 'cause she doesn't remember a thing.

Also a note... my daughter at first had an abscess, took antibiotics and it went down. 6 months later it came back with a vengeance. She was actually in a little bit of pain the second time around and her teeth got worse (thus, the pulling of FOUR teeth!) So yeah, I would suggest pulling the tooth.

One major thing you need to make sure happens (if you do this and get a spacer) is that your child MUST brush under the spacer underneath the wire so that the gum does not grow over the spacer. If the gum grows over the spacer you would have to take the child back to the dentist to cut the gums to get the spacer out before the adult tooth grows back in.

Good luck!

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J.F.

answers from Phoenix on

My 4 year old neice just had a tooth pulled for the same reason. She was in horrible pain until it was pulled. Her parents got a second opinion and ultimately decided on pulling the tooth. It doesn't seem to bother her at all that she is missing a tooth. I would recommend pulling it because then it will be over with and not happen again. Hope your little one feels better soon!

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K.B.

answers from Yuma on

In theory, girls lose their teeth before boys do. My son had three little girlfriends in preschool (4 almost 5) who lost their teeth naturally. They were all so proud that they had already lost a tooth (especially before the boys).
You could try to make it an exciting event. I'm not sure if you like the idea of the Tooth fairy, but you could do something really special for her in that fashion too. Maybe the Tooth fairy could bring her a special gift since she lost her first tooth in such a "special" way.
I would go with the Dr.'s suggestion. If the infection is painful for her it wouldn't be fun for her to keep having to deal with it.

Hope everything works out.

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J.A.

answers from Phoenix on

I think you're overthinking this. If my four kids are any judge, kids this age think it's way cool to lose a tooth! It's almost a status symbol! Some of my kids teachers even have a "toothless" chart you get to put your name on and they keep track to see who's in the lead with the most lost teeth! Plus, I make the tooth fairy expereience very cool for them, leaving a personal message from their very own toothfairy with their favorite sugarless gum and some money...my kids can't wait to lose another tooth!! There's a really cute book that helped me introduce the toothfairy called "Dear Tooth Fairy" by Alan Durant that is really fun. I think if you prepare her for the tooth pulling experience properly by getting her excited to lose it, then she will do just fine...it will be much less traumatic than sending her in for surgery to drain it maybe several times before she loses it on her own.

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J.C.

answers from Phoenix on

Which tooth is it? Is it in the front? I had this happen when I was young and we opted for pulling it and antibiotics. I was toothless for a few years.

I also knocked out my front four teeth when I was young and it took almost two years for my other teeth to come in. No emotional scarring, no one made fun of me, actually they thought it was neat that I lost my teeth before they did.

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J.J.

answers from Phoenix on

I haven't had to deal with that problem, but I would have it pulled. Being 5, most kids start losing teeth then anyway. I wouldn't put her through more than she has to go through for a tooth that's going to come out anyway.

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K.P.

answers from Phoenix on

My 5 1/2 year nephew lost his first tooth - he thought it was the coolest thing ever - right in front. Other kids his age have already lost teeth - he is in the 1st grade and loves it.

I myself as a child - I had to have major surgery and have 12 teeth pulled at the age of 6 and had to have braces put on right after. I don't ever remember having an issues with the way I looked ~ just a lot of discomfort at first.

Reminder her about the tooth fairy too - and how she brings her a gift. She'll love it.

Hope things get better. Good luck.

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D.P.

answers from Tucson on

I would not obsess over a tooth being pulled to save the child from having to get antibiotics over and over again. Did the doctor mention whether or not her tooth to replace this one was forming yet?? I would get a second opinion just to make sure that is the best option first. I can say my son lost his first tooth at 4 years old. So you cannot predict when they will fall out. it could be this year that she loses teeth or it could start next year. I haven't had any pediatric dentists though, I take my kids to the same one I go to. Take care and good luck.

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G.A.

answers from Phoenix on

I would say let them pull the tooth.
At the age of 5 kids are losing teeth.
Another thing I have witnessed from working in an elementary school.... at that age the other kids will be amazed that she has lost a tooth.... it is kinda like a popularity maker. LOL

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S.B.

answers from Phoenix on

Medically I'm not sure what to do, but I do have a 5 year old who "can't wait" to loose her first tooth. All of her friends already have and she's wondering why she's the last one...in my case, I'd have them pull it. My daughter is super excited about the tooth fairy and truly is sometimes distraught that she hasn't lost a tooth yet! Just a different side of the hand to look at...
Good Luck and let us know what you decide!!

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A.P.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi,
You didn't mention which tooth it was. When my son was 5/6ish he had to have the tooth (the molar 1 past the canine on the bottom), pulled. The just put in a spacer to keep his teeth aligned.
Is your daughter in preschool? If it is one of the front teeth, I wouldn't worry about it being pulled. Kids think that kind of stuff is cool and, by Kindergarten her friends will be losing teeth too.
As far as the gum cutting, that seems way more stressful and painful to me.

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T.J.

answers from Flagstaff on

my son had the same thing- abscess teeth must be dealt with asap or the infection can go to the brain. I am surprised she has an infection if she is on antibiotics already. I had my son's tooth pulled- same age. I had NO CLUE he had a problem until his face swelled from the infection. so even if the fection goes away this time it can come back without warning and cause serious problems.

make sure everything you say around the subject is positive - don't mention her being the first one without a tooth or not having to feel bad. just tell her that they are going to "fix" her tooth (not pull it out, not remove it etc) 'fix' is more positive. maybe get a book about loosing teeth and tell her the tooth fairy is very excited to be able to come and give her something special. try hard not to put YOUR fear into the situation when speaking to her about it as we often do as adults without realizing it. good luck!

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L.C.

answers from Phoenix on

Amy,

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. Tooth issues are always literally such a pain. Just wanted to say that all three of my sons naturally lost their teeth early - the first before they were 5, so she wouldn't necessarily be different from all of her peers with a missing tooth. You could get her a nice "tooth fairy pillow" and make it into a special experience for her. Good luck!

L. C.

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G.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I totally understand why you wouldn't want to pull the tooth based on how she might look with out one, but I, myself would have to totally agree with the doc- My boy was just 4 when he was bit in the face by a dog that resulted in knocking out his front tooth and puncturing below his eye. He had to get stitched inside his gums, and under the eye of course, but is fine now.
My point is that even though we didn't have a choice in the matter, he is used to having a gap for a while. The accident occurred in 6/08 and now that he is in Kindergarten, alot of kids are losing teeth anyway and he feels pretty good that he too has a missing tooth!
He is a pretty confident kid with lots of friends and nothing changed for him after the accident. Of course you would want to check with a second opinion, Dr Bashara of Sweet Toooth Pediatric Dentistry helped us following this unexpected extraction, and I felt he was knowledgable and patient, the office was welcoming and non-threatening and the treatment plan was well documented and comprehensive. They even called to follow up a couple of times in the weeks following our visit. Hope this helps!

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C.C.

answers from Flagstaff on

At 4 years old, my nephew had his 8 front teeth pulled (top & bottom) due to abscess. My 4 year old daughter thought it was cool! He never worried about it, and now has a lovely set of permanent teeth. Some kids are early losing teeth, starting at 5, and others are late, not starting until 9 or so. My 10 year old daughter now worries about her teeth (she has not lost them all yet), but my other kids did not care because they were younger. Personally, I treasure the photos of my kids when they were missing teeth. They look so sweet! Pull the tooth, as it is better for her.

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P.K.

answers from Phoenix on

Pull the tooth. Long term antibiotics are never a good idea. I knocked out a front tooth when I was one and was toothless for 7 years until the permanent one grew in and it was a complete non-issue. I never felt wierd, I never worried about it, I was a kid! I couldn't have cared less. Infection in the mouth are dangerous - get rid of the tooth.

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M.S.

answers from Phoenix on

I used to work for an endodontist for 10 years (root canal specialist) and you absolutelty can do an "incise and drain" which would be to make an incision, drain it and put her on antibiotics but this is is very TEMP fix. The infection will never truely heel in the bone and can also spread to her adjacent teeth. Absolutely pull the tooth. You could be doing more damage in the long run if you don't. If you are worried about the gap, ask the dentist about a "flipper". It is a retainer with a false tooth attached to it so she can wear it during the day and take it out at night. Best of luck to you!

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E.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

They do have "pedi partials" to fill in missing teeth, if you think the gap will be a real problem. (And if you have $$$..it goes under "cosmetic", often)
Check out her classmates...maybe they have more missing teeth than you realize. It may not be such an issue.
You mention your daughter being really shy. If you are worried about bullying risk (as you might rightfully be) you might concentrate on bully proofing her. Kids tease over anything. I mean ANYTHING if that's what they want to do. A missing tooth seems obvious, but bullies may target a shy child just by body language. See how seriously your school takes the issue by looking at their policies and anti-bullying/tolerance/ difference celebration programs they use.
Good luck!

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