Almost 4 Years Old and Still Biting and Chewing!!

Updated on January 08, 2010
J.F. asks from Grants Pass, OR
13 answers

Hi moms-

I am hoping that some of you have maybe dealt with this yourselves, or have some good ideas with how to deal with it. My son (who's nearly four) has been a biter since he was a baby. As soon as he could pull up in his crib, he promptly destroyed it by chewing (literally) chunks out of the wood. Somehow we were able to communicate with him that that was not okay and it seemed like he stopped. A year ago we moved him and his sister from toddler beds to a bunk bed. He was fine, with no other chewing incidents, until now! Today I discovered that he had chewed up the bottom bunk (where he sleeps) and actually had climbed to the top bunk and chewed that up as well!! He's also chewed on the back of his chair at the kitchen table!! What is going on?! Why now, after all this time??? What could possibly be causing him to do this and how should I deal with it? He's generally a very loving, sweet, little guy who doesn't really act out at all. He eats a very well rounded diet with very few sweets, so I can't imagine that he's deficient in anything. I'm at a loss! Any ideas or advice would be VERY appreciated!

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.B.

answers from Portland on

He may have some type of vitamin deficiency. I have heard of people craving the strangest non-food things when this happens, but they cannot explain it.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.B.

answers from Spokane on

With some kids this is normal. My son is 6 and still chews everything. We have talked to his doctor and a psycologist and found it is his way of releaving stress. The chewing can be difficult to deal with, especially when he chews holes in his shirts or his sisters toys, but I have learned that if I provide him with something appropriate to chew, it makes a big difference. I have sewn little "tags" in the front of all his shirts for him to chew as well as bought chewys on ebay such as:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=16...

My son prefers the smooth ones.

You can also buy plastic flexible tubing at a medical supply store or even a hardware store (make sure it is a high enough grade for drinking water) and make a necklace out of it (lace string through the center). Good luck!!

I am also a SAHM of 3. I have a 6 year old boy, almost 4 year old girl, and 9 month old boy

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.M.

answers from Portland on

Hi J.,

You may want to think about changes which may have occured in his life in the recent past, the changes may seem small, but bothering him a lot.

This sounds like a stress reaction to me. Has he changed daycare classrooms, teachers? Have there been stresses at home? A new friend? Fight with a friend or family member?

I also suggest talking with your son about stress. Often children do not realize they are feeling stress, because it is a new feeling for them. Try talking to him about what you feel when you're stressed, it will not only help him understand his feelings, but also let him know you know how he feels.

Lastly, I would talk to him about what his bed will do to his tummy if he eats the material, and provide him with better ways to express himself.

Good Luck, this is a tough situation.

R. Magby

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.W.

answers from Seattle on

Hi J.-

I don't have much to add in the way of advice, but wanted to read the responses you got because my daughter seems to go through stages of crazy chewing also. She had never chewed up a bed or anything, but some DVD cases and toys have been her victims. She just turned 4 in October so she is close to your little guys age. The last time she did it we went to the pet store and I let her pick out a doggie chew toy that she liked and was pretty undestructable (not a stuffed animal or anything, it's hard plastic). She chewed on that for a couple days and then was done. She hasn't chewed anything since. After taking a look back on the situation I have realized 3 things. First, her little sister was going through a particularly rough teething session at the same time so the chewing could have been a need for attention thing. Second, it was right near the start of icky weather and we were inside instead of able to play outside. I am sure she was bored. And third, it was my monthly time. I am not sure how much that plays into it, but I know that I am more stressed and emotional at that time. It has been a few months now and she hasn't had any trouble, so I am hopeful that we are done with it. Good Luck with your fella!
~m

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.T.

answers from Portland on

If he doesn't act out, maybe this is his way of dealing with something. I don't know what it could be, you will just have to watch and be very alert to anything and everything, even the things and the tone you and your husband use with each other or with others. Maybe something is stressful with his sister. You just never know. It could even be something so minor that you wouldn't think that it bothered anyone but it may him.
I may not be that at all. Maybe he has something in his mouth like some kind of tooth somewhere that is hurting him and since he has had it since he was a baby he is use to it and doesn't even realize himself that it hurts or is uncomfortable. Look around in his mouth to see if he has a tooth that is coming up in the wrong place...I have seen teeth in some children that come up in the roof of the mouth but closer to the other teeth that was out of place and had to be pulled by the dentist.
It could be something totally different. Since he is 4, why don't you sit down with him sometime when it is no one else and things are calm and you all are having your time and ask him why he chews and then ask him if something is bothering him or hurting him. I have a 3.5 yr old and when we sit down with her and ask her things, she can tell us so he should be able to tell you whatever it is you need to know. You may have to ask some questions in order for him to think of what is wrong.
It could just be a bad habit from no reason at all that will pass.
I had a problem with my little girl;s hair coming out. I never saw her pull it but you sure could see it super thin from the way it use to be and you could feel the little new hair stubbs... really really bad. I asked her if she was pulling it out and she said yes. I asked why and she never cold tell me. I ask was it mommy and daddy and she would say no... everything I asked she would say no. We were confused. Never did find out the reason. Well I had a few grown children living with us from another marriage. Even though I hid the tension from her really really well or so I thought. The older kids was very disrespectful to me because their dad would bad mouth me and try to brainwash them and turn them against me. They would come back to my house and hate me and speak to me in a hateful tone. Their dad eventually turned them all against me and talked them into moving out. My husband and I had done them right and been better to them than their father but yet he succeeded in making them hate us. Seemed they got out of us what they wanted and then moved on. When the last kid moved out, we moved over 3,000 miles away to escape the hurt and pain they had caused me. Somehow my little girl picked up on the tension and the stress wheather it was that she realized they treated me and talked to badly or whether she just knew my feelings were hurt by me,..... she was reacting to that even though I thought it was hidden from her very well. Since we moved, hair has started growing back and she is a different kid. So you can't tell me she knew or sensed something.
The point is, sometimes things may be bothering you that you think you are hiding from them but they really know and when they are 4, chewing is how they act out.
Good luck to you and I hope you figure it all out and things get better.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.M.

answers from Portland on

My first guess is that your son has some degree of sensory processing disorder, which is extremely common, and can become more apparent during various growth stages or during times of stress or change. It's not necessarily a big deal, and children with various manifestations of this disorder can be otherwise quite normal, bright, and affectionate.

Here's a useful checklist that gives the fascinating range of behaviors and reactions that kids might exhibit: http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/SPD-symptom-ch...

You might be able to help your son by encouraging plenty of movement and exercise during the day and minimizing anxiety-producing or boring situations. There are also special products available for kids with this symptom to chew on (see a few on this page: http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/oral-sensitivi...)

What probably will not work is to punish your son for behavioral tics he may have little control over. That might only make it harder for him not to engage in his stress-relieving habit. I have had some of the symptoms all my life, but they are usually only intrusive when I'm unable to get enough exercise or am nervous about something.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.L.

answers from Eugene on

Hi J.,

I have a son who has had this problem. Not too long ago I posted here for advice, as well, and wanted to just share with you what others shared with me. Here is the link to my post and the responses (I hope it works, you may need to copy and paste):

http://www.mamasource.com/request/1870113733032804353

or, you can search the subject of my post: "Seeking Advice on chewing problem" (or was it "Seeking Advice for chewing problem"--one of those).

My son was 7 or 8 when I made the post, after he chewed a cuff of his sweatshirt until it was literally more than half gone, all in one day at school. He just turned 10, and I can't think of any more major chewing incidents that he's had in the last couple of years, so it's been nice for us to see that he's grown out of it (except he still has his fingers in his mouth often).

Good luck, I know how frustrating it can be.

-J.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.N.

answers from Seattle on

Hi J.,
My son was a biter when he was about 3. Someone (from this site) suggested giving him one of those teething stars that vibrate when bite it, when he would start to bite and tell him, if you're going to bite, you can only bite on this and nothing or nobody else". It actually worked and after a short time, completely stopped.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.D.

answers from Seattle on

My advice to you would be to schedule an appointment with your son's pediatrician. Biting is one thing, but if he's biting chunks out of things or chewing on things that aren't food nature, it's more likely something else. Have his pediatrician look into safe methods you could apply to help you with curbing the biting issue.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.C.

answers from Portland on

My 4 year old daughter has been chewing things up since I can remember. She also chewed the wood on her bed, and anything plastic on a toy is fair game. She chewed the pen off her Leapster so now she has to use her finger to play. I got a little nervous when I started reading about this phenomenon online, about autistic behaviors and what not. She is a very sensitive little girl but there are no other signs of any "disorders". I always just jokingly blamed my husband because he is also a chewer and still chews pens, plastic straws, any bits of plastic that look like fun to chew. He said he has aways been a chewer also. His dentist said he has the strongest enamel on his teeth he's ever seen, so other than weird me out sometimes, there doesn't seem to be a problem. Some odd oral fixation heredity? More likely a stress reduction technique that became a habit. We have talked to my daughter about being destructive and given her appropriate things such as chew toys to chew if she feels the need and that has helped with the destructiveness. Punishing her does nothing, but talking about it openly with compassion, and giving her proper outlets for her stress release and chewing urges seem to make a difference. Good luck, I hope you find some answers. I know how frustrating it can be to have your house chewed up!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.S.

answers from Eugene on

I have a couple of thoughts. First, I agree with the person who mentioned the softness of most of our foods. Our jaws and teeth are designed/evolved for chewing raw fresh foods, which require much more chewing than most of our modern foods do. You could give him lots of raw carrots and other root vegetables (turnips, rutabagas, yams)(and lots of raw foods in general, especially harder fruits like apples, as well as nuts and seeds), in order to give him more of a jaw workout. Licorice or cinnamon sticks too (I mean the real thing, not candy!). Search for "jaw exerciser" online and you'll find lots of items, such as jawcerciser.com. I would also very strongly recommend that you consider seeing a good cranial osteopath or craniosacral therapist who is very experienced in working with children and these kinds of issues. It could be that he is chewing to try to release some kind of cranial restriction or to get things to line up better in his jaw/mouth. Also a good dentist &/or orthodontist to see if he has done any damage to his mouth/jaw. And, as others have suggested, it could simply be his way of dealing with stress, so I'd suggest that you consider what stress he may be under, do what you can to minimize the stress, and help him learn other ways to deal with it. Wishing you the best!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.G.

answers from Seattle on

I think all the suggestions so far are really great things to look at. I recently came across an article about the hardness of our food and wondered if this may also be a possibility that your son is not getting the jaw workout that he may instinctively be asking for. This is an excerpt from the article:
"Soft, creamy foods may be a comfort, but the foods we're genetically designed for -- the hard and crunchy ones our ancestors thrived on -- are better for our health, studies show. So give your jaw a little workout at each meal. Crunchy and Nutritious. The benefits of "hard" diets probably have something to do with what is usually found in hearty, chewy, crunchy foods -- less fat and calories and more fiber."
Also, I agree that possibly this could also be a sign of nutrients that may be missing in his diet or not absorbed. You may want to try the Shaklee supplements for children and see if that may make a difference. I would add more fiber like Carrots (10lbs organic at Costco) and also this could be a trial and error thing or a many things combined thing so don't give up and good luck finding what works.
I recently watched some really great movies that showed how research and being informed help people find what works. They are "Lorenzo's Oil", "First, do no Harm", and "The Beautiful Truth".
If you want any information on home schooling, a friend of mine has home schooled three children though 12th grade and has two more she is still home schooling so she knows just about everything about this and loves to help others with this.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

W.C.

answers from Seattle on

First, I would check with your doctor because he may be deficient in something. The chewing may signal teething or something else your doctor may be aware of. He does need to be assessed.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions