Allowing Kids to Watch T.V.

Updated on April 17, 2008
A.L. asks from Sacramento, CA
13 answers

Hello All,

I couldn't find a request on this subject, so I'm posting this for feedback. We allow our two sons (ages 5 and 2.5) to watch a limited amount of television or a DVD almost each day ---- usually a half hour in the morning while we get ready and another half hour in the evening as we prepare dinner. When the t.v. is on, they usually watch PBS or Disney Playhouse in the morning and a little bit of a favorite DVD at night. Frankly, I wish we didn't even have a t.v. in the house, but my husband likes to watch the news and some movies. The kids will sometimes get quite upset when I shut off the t.v., so I'm a bit concerned as I really don't want t.v./movie watching to be a priority in the house. I try to engage them in other activities, and we read books during the day and before bedtime. However, sometimes having them watch a show or DVD is helpful when we just need a little time to get things done! And yes, t.v. can be more entertaining for them, than educational -- but they do learn a lot from those two channels. My husband also says that on the days that our older son is in preschool, it's fine for him to have a little down time in front of the t.v. since he's been doing activities all day. Do you allow your children to watch t.v.? If so, how do you control how much time they watch and what they watch? Thanks for sharing your experiences and any thoughts you may have on this issue.

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So What Happened?

Thanks, everyone, for your wonderful responses and feedback! It made me realize that we are in the norm with allowing our kids to watch some t.v. and monitoring their shows to ensure that they are wholesome and positive. And I must agree that it would be really hard to get certain things done or prevent some destruction around the house if not for those t.v. breaks! My husband told me he and his siblings watched a lot of t.v. growing up, and they have successful careers now (partner in a law firm, human resources generalist, and future psychologist). I also spoke with the nurse practitioner today during my son's 5 year checkup, who said that up to 1 hour of t.v. viewing a day is advised, and slightly more on weekends is okay. I also realized from one of the responses that we, as parents, should not only be concerned about t.v. for our kids, but on everything that they are exposed to (especially in the first 10 years). Sometimes when I lose my patience at the kids, I forget how the strong words could have much more of a negative impact on them than a t.v. show! Sorry for this long message, but I truly appreciate your feedback and have realized that we're headed in the right direction. Now I'm a bit worried about the gaming/computer issues that some of you have mentioned, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there! Thanks so much!

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T.A.

answers from Salinas on

At 1st I didnt want my child watching more than 2 short shows a day. But she is almost 3 and does pick up on everything, she enjoys watching wheel of fortune and yells out the letters and likes to watch some of her shows so I can prepare dinner and have her relax. She likes barney and has learned to count in Kenya from it. As long as they do other activities and its learning or a good infunence show for them to watch. I do use it as when she listens can watch or if she didnt listen no show. It helps their imagations.

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C.C.

answers from Fresno on

This is just my wacky opinion, but let's face it... we all grew up in the TV generation and we don't all have ADD or sub-par IQ's (or whatever is supposed to happen to kids who watch TV). I'm not saying to park your kid in front of the TV 6 hours a day or anything, but a little TV never hurt anyone. In my humble opinion, I don't really think there's any such thing as educational TV for little kids - it's all just entertainment. But what's wrong with a little entertainment? (Again, not advocating shoot-em-up TV, but why not a little Backyardigans or Dora?) My kids watch DVD's mostly, because at least that way they aren't bombarded with commercials. (Which is really more for my benefit than theirs, I guess =)

When I try to cut off TV completely, bad things start to happen in my house. I went through this phase recently where I decided my kids would not watch TV. It turned out to be a stupid idea. For instance, my 2 year old climbed the bathroom counters, bypassed the baby-locks, and got out the hair conditioner, which she then dumped into all my dress shoes. Or she put her crayons into a load of laundry and turned the dryer on, ruining an entire load of clothes. (Yes, both of these things have happened in my house in the past month...) If I'm not able to keep an eagle eye on them (maybe I need to pay bills or make dinner or leave them alone with my husband, who can't keep track of them to save his life), I will put the TV on, absolutely. It's all about saving my house and my sanity!!

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T.T.

answers from Yuba City on

Hi A.. My son is 6 months old and LOVES Oswald, Little Bear and Ms. Spiders Sunnypatch friends. I allow about 1/2 hour to 45 minutes each morning while I'm doing dishes, getting things ready for the day, making his breakfast (I don't buy his food)or while I'm on my computer checking banking, emails etc. The rest of the day is sent one on one with him; while he naps 98% of the time in my arms (which we're working on slowly to put him in his bed or mine)I watch whatever is on, usually soaps or catch a few zzz's with him and then when he wakes it's feeding and play time. In the evening he gets to watch TV again while I'm getting dinner ready which is generally 1/2 hour and then again I'll put it on around 7ish while I'm getting him ready for bed and to read to him. granted he's only 6mths old but he does have all his toys with him and I think he spends more time playing than actually watching. So essentially I don't think it's too bad to set appropraite times.

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C.B.

answers from Redding on

Hi A.,
You have a lot of great responses already, but I wanted to add one thing. The content and amout of tv has been something that I have been extremely concerned about since we had our girls (ages 2.5 and 5). I have always limited their tv watching to 2 hours at the very most, and ideally less. Further, I have controlled the content (Dora, Sesame Street). However, I have found that I do not have complete control over this and I have had to come to terms with it. My inlaws, daycare, even my 5 year old's after school care occasionally play shows, and even ones which I do not find appropriate (Sponge Bob for example). Early on I tried to talk to my inlaws about it and instead got stonewalled as my mother-in-law got offended instead. My point is that for me I try now try to engage my kids in other learning activies and let some of my concern and guilt over the tv slide. I still limit their watching to AAP guidelines, and make the shows wholesome and positive (My friends Tigger and Pooh is great). However, because I know that sometimes, out of my control, they will be exposed to less-than-wholesome shows and characters, I watch more diligently for the opportunity to teach my kids about ethics, behavior, how to treat friends etc. when I see them (especially my 5-year old) mirroring behaviors from some of those other shows. Also, there is no doubt that she does pick up behaviors that she sees on tv. I try to make it a learning opportunity and relinquish some control. Hope that helps or is food for thought. Good luck! C.

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N.D.

answers from Sacramento on

We have always limited our daughter's TV time, esp until she was 2. The American Assoc of Pediatrics suggests limiting television to 2 hours per day. If you think of how many hours a child is awake, that isn't much out of the 12 or so hours of awake time. We allow 2 shows in the morning and 2 shows in the afternoon. In between these times our daughter is playing, doing art, exploring, building etc....I feel she is extremely well rounded. I think it's always good to have balance!!! If she wants to watch a movie we take out one show. So she'll watch one in the morning and a movie in the late afternoon after school or playing.
Good luck!

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T.F.

answers from Stockton on

Sounds like you use TV like we do. We limit it to 1 hour a day. Sometimes my oldest gets a little more when my husband travels, as it's the only way to keep her quiet while I'm getting the baby to sleep. Once the baby is napping, then she gets a bath. It has been a battle at times, because she's a toddler and doesn't want to turn it off. But, lately she's been more cooperative. If I tell her it's the last show, then she might grumble, but then turns it off herself. I think the other mom is right. I fear the gaming, as my husband is a big gamer. I'm doomed.

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J.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I use T.V. the same exact way you do! And yes, as Catherine said, if they are not engaged in a show while I am cooking dinner or putting away laundry, then they are doing something destructive. There are times when it is necessary in my opinion! Cartoons however, which are right around the corner with my three year old are pretty scary these days…I’m going to keep Mickey Mouse in my house for as long as I possibly can!!

I believe that where T.V. becomes the enemy, is when parents do not monitor what their children are watching, or they have it on ALL day long watching anything, and when the time they do spend with your children away from the television is not quality time. Our girls are both very bright, ahead of the learning curve talkative social little girls. I DVR their favorite shows so if I need to turn it on at 4 in the afternoon I have something age appropriate to turn on. I watch most of their shows with them and we sing the songs and “talk to” the T.V. together <grin>. I don’t do a lot of DVD movies unless they are sick just because of the length and there aren’t really very many animated movies out that I feel are appropriate for both my kids. But sometimes they are my only sanity for sick days <grin>. I also make sure that it is not on during meals…unless the Sharks are in the playoffs!!

Just follow your instinct and do what works well for your family balance. If you feel like the T.V. has been on too much, then turn it off, that can be good for your kids too once in a while <grin>! You being sensitive to the issue means your kids are in good hands!

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V.V.

answers from San Francisco on

I don't see a problem with it. It seems that you have control over it unlike some psrents that use it for a babysitter. I think people make WAY too big a deal about kids watching tv these days. We all watched it and came out fine.
it is very important that they get exercise of course, but watching a dvd so you can get stuff done is fine. I have a 3 month old daughter that I hold all day and I can't get a thing done!! My husband comes homes and the house is a mess and there is no dinner!

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S.K.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi A.,

I have a 5 year old and a 2 year old.
Our TV is upstairs out of sight and out of mind most of the time (which helps a lot).

We also have Tivo so that we can record certain shows only and no commercials. (It has a "Kid Zone" for them only and is separate from our shows).

We limit TV to Friday nights (movie night when Grandma comes over) and on weekends. No TV on weekdays / school nights.
Weekend TV is usually one or two shows in the morning and maybe one or two or a movie in the evening.

Reading Rainbow seems to be the favorite at the moment (and I have to admit, I enjoy that show with them).

I agree that the computer games will probably be a problem in the future for us too. My husband loves computer games and my son already has started to play the pre/school/Kindergarten Jump Start Games. They are educational, but the premise is the same.

I think TV in moderation is fine and parents are aware of the types of programs that their kids are watching.

Hope this helps,
S.

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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Ha! You think tv is bad. Just wait till you have to deal with computer and video game addiction. It is a reality among boys these days! And if anyone has good ideas about these, let me know.

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J.R.

answers from Sacramento on

I think anything with balance and reason is fine. My daughter is 2.5 and knows all of her letters and numbers to 20. She knows colors and shapes. She even speaks some Spanish words. TV contributed to that. I love the Disney channel because there are no commercials and the shows are educational and engaging. My daughter likes Dora, but that comes on a channel with commercials. So I watch that program with her and when the commercials come on, we do something like color a picture or she helps me put her laundry away.

I don't think kids watching TV is a problem. I think kids having unsupervised control over what they watch and doing nothing else with their day and parents who use the TV to babysit their kids...I think that is the problem. TV can be a great learning tool, but it's up to parents to teach their kids.

My suggestion would be for you to preview what your kids are watching before they watch it. You can absolutely know what your kids are watching without having to watch it every time. And then that can allow you to know they are ok when you want to do the dishes or make a phone call. And yes, it is okay for some of the TV to be entertaining and not always educational. ;-) You sound like you are doing a great job! Just use your own maternal judgment.

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E.Q.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi A.,
There are a lot of great responses to your question already :) I just wanted to add that you want to keep in mind the research that has been done on the brain as you make your decision.

In a 20 year study of over 600 participants recently released it was discovered that anything children are exposed to within the confines of their home, i.e. the place they sleep, and where their parents are, writes in a different place in the brain than the things they are exposed to outside the home. That place: the "morality" spot. Whether it is TV, video games, sibling activity or just how you relate to your hubby, anything they see repeatedly between birth and 10years old inside their home will write in the "its okay to act like that" area of their brain.

Also, there are recent studies out that say though kids do learn from the shows, they need to personal interaction when learning rather than just sitting in front of a box. It multiplies all their learning to have a real live person in front of them playing to learn.

Good luck!
E.

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D.J.

answers from San Francisco on

I also have mixed feelings regarding TV viewing...
We only have a DVD player, and we get our movies from the library. Sometimes my 3.5 year old will start whining and begging for TV. That is when I usually "forget" to check out another video, or have us too busy to watch TV for a while, at least until he forgets about it. I love having it as a tool to entertain, especially when he gets tired, and overstimulated. So I usually reintroduce it in a couple of weeks. Silly me.
Good Luck to you!!!

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