All of the Suddenn Won't Take a Bottle

Updated on June 02, 2008
K.K. asks from Washington, DC
20 answers

My daughter is now almost 12 weeks old. We introduced a bottle of expressed breastmilk starting around 2 weeks of age. Until about two weeks ago, she would take the bottle easily. We would offer her a bottle at least once every other day. Beginning approx. two weeks ago, however, she has started refusing the bottle. She will sometimes fuss when we offer it (which eventually leads to screaming and then to me nursing her)...but more often than not will just chew on the nipple endlessly. When she does this, she eventually gets two or three ounces out but never a full feedings worth of milk. Any ideas as to why this is happening and how to remedy this? I'm stressing out thinking that I'll never be able to leave her if she wont take a bottle!!!

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S.M.

answers from Norfolk on

Both of my boys have done the same thing. I just stuck it out (I worked at bed time for one, breakfast for the other only one day a week) and at 4 months put them both on a cup of expressed milk. They will take a cup from me or anybody. It is too good of a thing to breast feed to give up. Keep going and don't give up. I do agree to try leaving the house for bottle time, that helped with my first but not the second.
S.

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E.T.

answers from Washington DC on

Please do not increase the size of the nipple. Breastfed babies never move past slow flow nipples. It is the most like the flow from the breast.

If you are around or you are trying to feed her the bottle, I expect that she is expressing a preference for you over the bottle, which is normal. By 12 weeks, the baby's awareness has increased and will often refuse a bottle if Mom is around, even if not in the same room.

Have no fear, my daughter was not fond of bottles, but she would take one if she was hungry enough and I wasn't around. She would wait it out for me, but if she was hungry, she would eat. Don't fear, she won't starve.

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N.K.

answers from Washington DC on

I pernally brest all five of my children (two sets of twins) for well over a year and didn't give bottles. I introduced sippy cups with small amounts of liquid when they could hold the two handles on the side, that was somewhere around five months. If she's not taking the bottle and she is not in daycare then nurse her and put a little milk in the cup and teach/help her with the cup. Soon she will be ready for jucies and you shouldn't put those in bottles anyway because of the sugars resting on the incoming teeth.

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D.B.

answers from Norfolk on

K.,
When my daughter was about 3 months old, I started a part time job. I would work for up to 5 hours at a time. She would NEVER take a bottle. I nursed her just before I left and then as soon as I walked in the door. I have always been told that they will eat when they are hungry. As long as you aren't leaving her for more than a few hours at a time, then don't worry about it. She will certainly survive. Mine didn't have any problems gaining weight or anything. I guess that's the downfall of nursing, you can't just depend on someone else to feed her. Just remember why you chose to nurse her in the first place and then weigh the outcome with why you need to leave her -- which is more important to you. I don't mean to sound harsh. I know the "need" to be w/o your children, but when you look at the big picture, the time you nurse your baby is such a short period of time. I nursed or was pregnant for almost 7 years. I miss it so much. And it's only been about 6 months since my youngest stopped nursing. And keep in mind that she will start solids at about 6-7 months or so, so then it will be easier to leave her for longer periods. Good luck to you and your little girl.

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M.S.

answers from Washington DC on

If you end up nursing her after she screams, that means you're around when she's being offered the bottle. She's just becoming more aware of her environment at this age, so if she can smell your milk and know you're nearby, why would she take the bottle?

Try and have your husband offer her the bottle when you are not around. And don't stress--she'll take it if she's hungry enough. My 6 month old just went through a bottle strike and I was nervous because I had to leave her overnight for the first time---she ate when she got hungry enough! :)

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S.W.

answers from Norfolk on

It's going to be OK! My now 2 year old wouldn't ever take a bottle. So I would just 'tank her up' and nurse her real well if I had to go out and then yes, I was limited and could only go for a few hours at a time. But we all managed just fine :) Eventually, she started to drink from a cup and all is well. Good luck!! And bravo to you for doing the best for her and nursing her :)!!

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K.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Maybe you need to try a different nipple or possible she needs the next size up.. (size 2 instead of size 1)?? Good luck to you. K. - sahm of 2 boys, 2 and 5

D.S.

answers from Allentown on

Hi K.,

Contact the La Leche League. 1-800-525-3243

or thew web: www.lllusa.org/VA/WebTidewaterVA

Good luck. D.

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T.T.

answers from Washington DC on

This is called nipple confussion... be glad it is not the other way around (if you still want to nurse). Will she take the bottle if you are not around? If so all you need is to let someone else give her the bottle for a while BUT you must not be seen or heard.. Is there a reason that you are switching (work etc) I did this with my youngest bottle when she was with dad (while I was at work) an breast when she was with me.. We did not have this problem because I wasnt there when she was bottle fed

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J.J.

answers from Washington DC on

I just went through this too and was just about to fill out a "So What Happened" now that my baby is finally taking a bottle.

Here is my request and the advice that I received:
http://www.mamasource.com/request/13841482146180497409

Granted, my daughter wasn't given bottles on a regular basis, but she still took it when offered up until about 3 months as well. When I searched for advice online, I found that a lot of babies start to refuse at about this time. My own personal theory is that are becoming more aware at this stage and decide that they prefer mom's breast to the bottle. It was about that same time that my baby started to really cuddle with me, coo, and gaze at me during feeding time.

Anyway, we tried various bottles/nipples and techniques for over a month, but what finally worked for us was probably the most painful experience of my life. I had two days before I had to return to work and was growing desperate, so I finally began withholding the breast until she took the bottle. When she woke up in the morning, I gave her the breast for her first feeding and then each feeding after that offered the bottle. If she didn't take it, I didn't give in. I would just do my best to soothe her and calm her down. Typically, she'd cry for about 10 minutes and then fall asleep. Then I'd pump, and each time she awoke I offered the bottle again. Same story for about 7 hours. I continued to offer the same bottle each time (Adiri breastbottle), but finally around 7 hours if I even pulled out the bottle she'd lose it - so I reverted back to the Playtex drop-ins with the Natural Action Nipple (the nubby one) which she had taken before - and she took it without hesitation. From there, I continued to give her bottles with each feeding until the end of the day and then I nursed her for her last feeding. And ever since, she's taken a bottle from whomever (including myself) whenever offered but has no problem switching between breast and bottle. I work 3 days a week and she takes bottles when I'm away and breast when I'm at home.

Now, I would suggest this only as a last resort because not only is it difficult for baby, it is heart-wrenching for mother. I shed lots of tears and said lots of prayers. But, if you have no options left, it may be something to consider.

Good luck!

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M.R.

answers from Washington DC on

When my son was a newborn I was not getting enough milk to satisfy him at his midnight feeding. So my husband would give him a bottle while I pumped. At four months he refused bottles period. My milk supply was fine, but I tutor and needed to leave my son for 2 hours twice a week. I would nurse hime right before I left him and when I got back if he wanted it. He was fine. So as long as your not leaving your daughter for long periods of time she will be fine. Keep in mind as they get older and start eating cereal and baby food, they will not need to nurse as often.

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K.P.

answers from Norfolk on

Have you tried different nipples?

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L.M.

answers from Washington DC on

K.,
As a doula I sometimes hear this from new moms. You are not alone in this. Nipple frustration can occur at any time.
Best thing to do is contact the La Leche League in your area.
They have meetings monthly. The leaders will speak with you on the phone and come to your home free of charge. They are listed on the web. Also the breastfeeding center on K St. in DC is the best. I send many of my moms there who are facing challanges.
It's difficult to tell how much she gets from nursing.
L.

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A.L.

answers from Washington DC on

Has the milk spoiled? .

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G.R.

answers from Richmond on

Hi K.,

There could be a number of reasons she is refusing or getting frustrated with the bottle. From the way you describe it, the first couple of things that come to mind for me are the bottle nipple size, and shape. You did not mention what type of bottle/ nipples you are using; are they a brand that simulates the shape of mom? Also, nipples have holes in them that change in size based on the baby’s age. As they get older they want/can handle a stronger/faster flow. It could be the nipples are to slow for her and she is getting frustrated with it taking so long and from having to work so hard for flow. Most nipple packages have age ranges written on them. I hope it is something this simple and that your worries are eased soon. Don’t forget to relax, she feels your stress!

G.

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A.H.

answers from Norfolk on

This happened with my son. All of a sudden he wouldn't take a bottle any more. I read somewhere to try a bottle made for a preemie. I went to Target and purchased a couple preemie bottles. They look like baby doll bottles. The nipples seemed the closest to a real nipple and he didn't seem to have a problem with it and took it well. Also, my husband fed him in a different place in the house than where I nurse him. I had to use the preemie bottles for about a month or so and then I gradually worked back into the regular bottle I was using. Good luck!

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S.Y.

answers from Norfolk on

I don't have advice- just empathy. Two of my children refused to take a bottle. One of them stayed in the hospital for a week following his birth and was first tube and then bottle fed there, but once I began breastfeeding him he refused anything else. I had a friend who went back to work and her breast fed baby would feed in the morning and then as soon as mom picked him up but refused to take a bottle in between. Good luck trying.

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C.H.

answers from Washington DC on

the same thing happend with my daughter right before i had to go back to work. she intially took the bottle without problems and then started refusing it and screaming when we tried to give it to her. we changed bottles to avent. the nipples are more rounded like a breast and then we would just wait for 10min (i looked at the clock) usually less for her to scream and she finally took it. she only screamed about 2 times for 10min then she was ok. it's just so hard to listen to her screaming when it is so easy to just breastfeed her. good luck.

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T.B.

answers from Norfolk on

Hi K.,
my daughter is now 15 months old and still nursing. At 4 months old she refused the bottle as well. I tried all types of bottles and she just refused! So it's been just me!!! It's a little exhausting...but if you really need to give her a bottle: ie: sitter, daycare etc then you must only offer her the bottle...until she gives in. however...you can just move onto a sippee cup. that's what my ped recommended!

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A.N.

answers from Norfolk on

I agree with the posters that said it is because you are there. They start becoming more aware at 3 months so I bet she realizes that since you are there you should nurse her. We took a roadtrip when my now 23 month old (who is still nursing)was 3 months old. I didn't want to nurse her when we stopped for lunch b/c it would take too long so I had a bottle of pumped milk and had dh sit in the backseat of the car and give her the bottle. She wouldn't take it b/c I was near. I had to get out of the car and go inside the restaurant. She would never take a bottle when I was around. Ever. Not even when she was older (she does drink out of a sippy/cup now around me just fine, now, though, so don't worry about that).

So, my advice is to leave the house. Not just the room, but the house b/c if she senses you are near she might not take the bottle.

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