All Moms - Stone Mountain,GA

Updated on November 28, 2008
A.P. asks from Stone Mountain, GA
36 answers

I am in the process of trying to do my own divorce that I thought would be contested but my spouse just informe me that if I file for child support that he is going to fight for half my house that I purchased with my inheritance money from my father's death. can he do that

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P.W.

answers from Atlanta on

Get a lawyer. The right of child support belongs to the child and you cannot waive it. No judge will sign the decree of no support. A lawyer can argue inheritance as separate property. Get a lawyer. Get a lawyer. Get a lawyer.

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F.R.

answers from Atlanta on

Call Georgia Legal Services. I dont have the number, but you can google the name. They offer legal service for low income people who need civil attorneys.

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A.M.

answers from Atlanta on

Bite the bullet and pay for an attorney. I think you will regret it if you don't. I went through a divorce (no kids, virtually no assets) without one, and got taken advantage of when it came to the retirement assets that my ex had accrued and were legally 1/2 mine. There is no way you can know all the nuances and intricacies of divorce law that an experienced attorney does.

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C.C.

answers from Macon on

Ewwww what a JERK! His children and he doesn't want to support them! I'd get on the phone and call a lawyer, call a few and ask. I believe there are agencies, go through child services, that can help you, for free, with legal questions like that. I would think if the house is in your name and purchased with money that was left to you it would be yours, but I don't know Georgia law... What a jerk to threaten you like that... Ooooh, I'm mad at him now!

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K.H.

answers from Atlanta on

Thats a shame!It is his duty as a father to your 4 boys that he support them.To threaten you like that its a shame.My advice to you is try to get legal aide and go down to your county court office and file child support.

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D.M.

answers from Atlanta on

I just read through most of the other responses. Yes, do get an attorney and make sure they are specialized in family law and have excellent references. A bad of half-hearted attorney could make things worse.

You will get child support and there is nothing he can do about that. Request an income deduction order. Also require him to carry a life insurance policy that will replace child support should something happen to him. Have him pay the premiums but make sure you are listed as the owner of the policy so he can't let it lapse or make changes to the benificiary without your knowledge.

Ask of rehabilitative alimony which will give you income for at least five years to allow you to transition to being the supporter of your household and allow your children more of your time while they are little. This will make it easier for them to transition to being part of a single parent household before spending so much time in daycare of after school care.

Talk to all the divorced women you can and take notes from them and this site's archives. Organize all questions and fears so that when you are interviewing attorneys by ohone or through initial free consultations, you can get as much information as possible to make your decisions.

Good luck.

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J.S.

answers from Atlanta on

Record everything! Phone calls, copy email messages, etc. try and speak with him in front of a third party. NEVER say anything to anyone bad about him. Courts are VERY sensitive to parental alienation. WATCH YOUR BACK. Be strong and find a support group either around town, online or at a large church. GET A LAWYER!

We all feel for you. Good Luck!

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S.H.

answers from Atlanta on

I actually went through this myself, but in Florida. I don't think it's any different in Georgia, but you will need to consult a lawyer to ask that question. First of all, your inheritance money is yours to keep. Anything that you
1. owned prior to the marriage, 2. were given by your family as a gift to you alone, or 3. any monies you inherited and kept in an account without his name on it, all belong to you automatically and he cannot get them. That said, if you bought a house while married to him, as long as the house has never had his name on the deed, you are fine. If, however, you bought the house with inheritance monies and put his name on the deed, too, then unfortunately, he has rights to half the house usually. I was fortunate in that my house was bought during my marriage with monies given to me by my family and thank goodness my family insisted that I have the house in my name alone. Otherwise, I would have owed him half the house. He did work on the house, though, and could have claimed a portion of it, but I ended up giving him a pay off to keep him from putting in a claim. I gather you cannot do that, but maybe your husband never worked on the house beyond what normal husbands do, i.e., fixing light bulbs and little things. My husband had done renovation work. Anyway, if yours is the only name on the deed and if you can easily show any court that you had bought the house with money you inherited, you will have no problem in keeping the house and can call his bluff. The very idea that any man would object to helping his children have the best life he could help to provide is disgusting, but seems to be a trend amongst younger men. Get that child support! You will need it, and he owes it. Believe me, if situation was reversed, he would seek support from you! The biggest mistake people make is believing that child support is about the mother and the father. Child support is about the children and belongs to the children! Yes, you will manage that money and use it for them, but the money is for them, not for you. So do what you have to do to get that support for them. They do not deserve to go without it for any reason. Also, another huge mistake women make during divorces like this is to let the soon-to-be ex tap into the woman's soft spot and cause her to make decisions out of her heart instead of out of her head. Put any warm feelings you may harbor aside for now; you can be nice later. Right now, you must fight for your children's welfare and their future. I am telling you this from much experience.

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M.R.

answers from Atlanta on

Ireally dont think he can but you can look on the internet and look up things like that go to gadivorceonline.com they have fourems with questions.Since it was bought with your money from your dad its has nothing to do with him having any money in it and with two kids they Will make him give you support thats for sure .I think he is just not wanting to give you money and face his responisibilty.But you can even call a lawyer and ask they will tell you to.M.

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B.I.

answers from Atlanta on

A.,
This is B. (deaffmommie). YES he can! PLEASE hire a lawyer.

It is in your best interests and the children's. interest for you to do this.

This is EXACTLY what happened when a friend of mine did her own divorce. SHE had to sell her 1/2 of the home they purchased together to him and lost BIG money and had to move. That home now sits uncared for as he only did it out of spite.

CHILD SUPPORT is a CHILD'S right. The judge will see to it your children are provided for by their father. Have it set up to pay thru the courst so he can't get "out of it". The child support is taken each week from his paycheck automatically. This way NO actually money exchanges hands from his to yours. It is better this way. Plus if he doesn't pay the support thru the courts, they will go after him to get it.

Visitation and support have NOTHING to do with each other. If he does NOT pay the support, he can still see the children.

Gifts are just that...gifts.

Ask for alimony: If my mother had she would have collected over 45K in the course of her lifetime from my dad. granted $30 a week, doesn't seem like a lot but over a 30 year divorce, if you choose not to marry again, it adds up.

Final advice: HIRE a LAWYER!

I hope this helps.

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K.S.

answers from Atlanta on

RUN do not walk to your nearest trusted divorce attorney.

no i don't believe he can take the house unless he has helped pay for it. AND I am not an attorney.

The ONLY reason I got an attorney (MANY years ago) is because he threatened a custody battle. My kids were too important to not have an attorney no matter the expense.

K.

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D.P.

answers from Atlanta on

What a jerk! Yeah he can fight for it. He can ask for the moon -- he can ask for anything he wants -- doesn't mean he'll get anything. Doesn't mean he won't. File for child support anyway. There is NO WAY he should get away without paying child support. You need a lawyer. I know they are expensive. I'm so sorry for that -- but you need one. Get with your church, friends, etc. and see if you can find one who will represent you who is #1 Good and #2 affordable.

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A.W.

answers from Atlanta on

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M.P.

answers from Atlanta on

it sounds as though you will need expert legal advice. Your home is very valuable to you and your children so don't take a chance on losing it or sharing it with the ex if you don't have to. Most legal referral services may offer limited free consultation. Good Luck!!!!

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R.L.

answers from Atlanta on

A.,
Go to www.visionsanew.com. They are a free support group with meetings in various parts of Atlanta that offer support for women contemplating/going through the divorce process. I believe one of the meetings might be via the phone if you are unable to attend in person, but I'm not 100%.
I know some women who have found this organization extremely helpful. It is all run by women who have been divorced.
As many others have already said, I highly encourage you to get an attorney anyway. Most will offer a free consultation so you can see if you feel he/she is a good fit.
Good luck to you.

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R.L.

answers from Charleston on

Hi A.:

You really need to consult with Legal Aid or an attorney. I believe that inheritance is not a part of a divorce settlement unless you made the fatal mistake of putting your husband's name on the home.
In any event, any man who thinks it is not their duty or responsibility to support their childern are low lifes.

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S.K.

answers from Myrtle Beach on

Hi A.,
Did you purchase the house under the name of a Trust? I have heard that if it is in the name of a Trust than noone can touch it. If not, you need to ask an Attorney. Do you have any friends that are Attorneys and wouldn't charge you to answer that question? If you don't I have some friends that are and would.

Also, I see that you would love to work from home. I have worked from home for 13 years and work the business around our daughter's schedule (she's almost 2). Within a year of doing the business I was able to quit my full time jobS (all 3 of them). My husband was also able to retire from his College Coaching job 5 years ago when we met and married and now he's a stay at home Dad! Call me and I can share the information with you and you can see if it is something you are interested in. I am helping my Best Friend build this business also, she is earning $4,000 a month now and she is a single Mom of 3 children. She was also able to quit her full time job within 3 months of starting this. My cell is ###-###-####, you should check it out - you never know!
S. K.

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C.C.

answers from Columbia on

As long as you can prove that all of the money used to buy that house was from an inheritance then he will not get the house.....did you put his name on the house?
No man wants to pay child support..I know from experience. Doing your own divorce is very risky...you can always sue for child support after he has signed the papers giving you the house. You can sue for child support at any time.

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N.H.

answers from Atlanta on

I think that usually any money you inherit or win while you are together automatically becomes half his. Only if you had signed an agreement stating otherwise would this be contestable. However, if you got the money and bought the house before you got married, then he wouldn't legally have any right to it.
(This is why a lot of people stay together even though they're miserable. It's too expensive and costly to get divorced.)
Also, it is his duty to pay child support regardless if he wants to or not; as long as he makes more than you and you get custody of them. That is a given. I would think even if you didn't ask for child support, the judge would award it anyway, as long as these conditions were met.
I would advise you to obtain an attorney quickly, if you have not done so already.
Good luck to you and your boys!

E.M.

answers from Atlanta on

I do not want to advice if your husband can do what he claims I do suggest you run and see a lawyer

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A.P.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi A.,

I'd go straight to a good divorce attorney to protect your home. The costs up-front are worth protecting what you have! Also, I saw in your "about me" that you'd like to be working from home. I work from home and love it: check out www.reallyworkingfromhome.com for more and feel free to get in touch! [email protected]____.com Good luck!

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L.Z.

answers from Atlanta on

He can fight you on anything, and even if he won't win he can drag it out. Even though you might not want to, you need to go get the meanest woman lawyer you can find and hit him as hard as you can, fast.

If you get custody, he will have to pay child support. A divorce does not mean that the children are no longer his children, and judges do not look favorably upon fathers who don't want to pay for their children. THat's to your advantage. Often men file for joint or full custody in order to get out of paying child support. Take notes. Write down EVERYTHING, conversations you have, phone calls. Write times, note locations. Carry a notebook.

Good luck. Be strong.

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B.R.

answers from Myrtle Beach on

Hi Well depending on the laws in your state,if the house was purchased during the marriage yes he can.I went through the same problem with my X I had proof that the mortgage and the house was in my name and I still had to give him half.

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A.A.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi A.. Assets purchased before you were married are not included in the divorce decree. That was what the judge told us, plus you didn't indicate that you signed a prenuptual agreement to divy up half of everything you and your soon-to-be ex-husband had the day you met in the event of a break up.
You're doing yourself and the children a favor by seperating permanently from your spouse. It doesn't seem very loving to threaten to NOT pay for your own children to eat, have clothes to wear and maintain a home. Child support is for the children, and he's threatening to not support them by stating his intent to take away children's ultimate security: their home. Go to the local courts in your area first thing Monday morning, and file for child support; especially if the non-custodial parent is already residing outside of the home. Children need and deserve the financial (as well as emotional) support of both parents. It's their right. Not his choice. In any divorce there are hurt feelings and words flying around. The idea is to stay focused and objective. Your objective, obviously, is to maintain a loving home for the children in a nurturing environment. Your husband's agenda at this point is to hurt you or bully you into accepting less than what you deserve. If you have no funds for an attorney, the State Bar Association will refer you to a licensed attorney who you can consult with over the phone for $30.00 (GA's cost anyway); contact a Legal Aid attorney in your area to see if you qualify. Also, there are women's advocacy agency personnel that will accompany you and your attorney to court. They are very supportive. (If you feel the need after the divorce, lots of churches and agencies that work with the United Way - dial 411 - have single parent groups also. Let your family know that you'll be depending on them when you go to court to. Having people who love and support your desire to not disrupt you and your children's lives, but instead have a terrific life, make a huge difference. You're your children's hero and they depend on you. I'll be praying for you, and I believe in you!!!

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T.M.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi A.,

I'm sorry about your losses. I too am just starting a divorce. My husband and I are seperated and seem to have worked out visitations. There is no property. How is it that you are filing on your own? What do you need to do? My husband tells me that this is possible, but ofcourse, I don't want to hear only from him on this topic. Thanks for any info you can share here.

Me: a mother of 1 boy, and a work at home/homeschooling mom.

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G.H.

answers from Atlanta on

A., I forgot to add that I read your "About Me" that you would like to work from home. I have 3 kids and work from home and love what I do! I have experienced great success that has given us much more financial freedom! My neighbor who told me about this opportunity was able to REPLACE HER INCOME as a fulltime CPA after 10 months of working this business on the side. Now, she works 15 hours a week and makes the same as she did working 40-50 hours!

It is fun and a simple marketing strategy. Call me if you'd like to know more and find out if it might be a good fit for you or not. Dearly, G. ###-###-####

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G.B.

answers from Albany on

I just finished with my own divorce so I am speaking from experience. Inheritance belongs to you unless you gift it to him. Was the house bought before or after the separation? Depending upon the state you live in, with most states being 50/50, he may get 50% of the equity in the house if it was before the separation. Check with your attorney, but its worth the fight. If you live in a 50/50 state (I do), you can get 50% of his retirement, child support and alimony if married more than 10 yrs. A judge decided that I would get the house, but I had to pay him a portion of the equity.

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N.L.

answers from Atlanta on

Do NOT do your divorce yourself -- with child(ren) involved and a house purchased with your inheritance, you have a LOT to lose. I know a divorce attorney in Alpharetta, who will most likely handle your case. I do know he's very good AND reasonable in rates! (I am an ex-legal secretary, so I know a little about what can happen in a divorce. From the "he's going to fight" it sounds like he WILL have an attorney and you would be "unarmed" in this fight against a "well-armed" opponent! Email me if you want the name, etc. of the attorney.

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B.B.

answers from Augusta on

Wow! What a total jerk! I swear, that broken chromosome just totally messes them up, doesn't it?

I'm going through kind of the same thing. My husband and I had agreed on an uncontested divorce. But while the papers were being written up, he decided that he wanted joint custody of our 2 yr. old son...physical custody. He actually wanted our child to spend half of every week with him, attending 2 different daycares! I suspect he was trying to weasel out of paying child support, which makes sense since he's never been real swift at getting and keeping jobs. It was quite funny because he has both a drug and criminal history and actually thought he could get joint custody. He swore he got this advice from a lawyer.

But then I figured something out...

I knew he couldn't afford a legal fight, but he knew I wanted an uncontested divorce. He was trying to see how much I would agree to without a fight.

He found out...

I told him, very calmly, that I would not agree to that and I would definitely take him to court for custodial rights. I told him that his not-so-stellar history would definitely be brought up, and he risked losing the visitation I had agreed to. In other words, I called his bluff.

Sure enough, the very next day he backed off.

Get a lawyer. The consult is usually free, and an uncontested divorce is going to cost me about $1100 with one of the best lawyers in Augusta. Trust me, I do NOT have $1100 just laying around, but he told me I would be able to pay monthly payments. Plus, how much is your engagement ring worth? Couldn't think of a better use for that money, can you?

Good luck. We're all with you!

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A.M.

answers from Atlanta on

is the house in your name alone, or in both of your names?? this might mean all the difference in the world...but if i were you i'd get a lawyer involved asap...this is probably not a fight you want to wage on your own...good luck!

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S.G.

answers from Savannah on

Get a lawyer for starters. It will save you more in the long run!!

Second, I'm not sure how GA is, but most stats will make you split any thing that was purchased during the marriage. If you bought your house before the marriage, then you should be fine. Besides, a judge isn't going to let him take your house out from under you will you have custody of the kids!! And in a divorce, most Judges will order child support payments anyways so you may not have any control over that. And from my own experiences dealing with my Daughter's fater, he was full of empty threats too when I moved from IN to SC a few years back. So don't let the threats get to you either. And for me, tell him that he helped make them, he will help take care of them-Period!

Good luck!
S.

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S.J.

answers from Atlanta on

First i'd like to say i'm sorry to hear you're going through this. Keep your head up and don't stress out too much. I am also in the process. Fortunatly mine is uncontested and a 17yr relationship. You can get free legal help from Gwinnett Legal Aid. Here's the site address http://www.legalaid-ga.org/documents/clusters/GA/163/Engl.... There s lots of information on the site also. The office phone number is listed on this site. You call and someone asks you a few questions. If you qualify you are given an appointment with an attorney. However it maybe easier to go to the office and speak to someone in person.
Hope this helps.

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L.C.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi A.,

Your ex-husband might be bluffing. But you have to file for child support. Is the house in his name at all? Please get some advise from a lawyer about this and make sure you know what your rights are. Take care and God bless you! Of course, pray! It always helps.

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S.L.

answers from Atlanta on

If it was purchased during your marriage, then the answer is yes. Everything bought or won will married is considered community property. You definitely need to seek a lawyer in this one, because with a lawyer's help you will probably be awarded the house. He has just given you the sign that it is going to get nasty, when he is threatening you over child support. He helped bring our beautiful little boys in this world, and it is his responsiblity to help take care of them... He has shown to me that he definitely isn't a man, he is still a child to want to hurt his innocent little boys.

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C.H.

answers from Savannah on

Pay for a lawyer. It is probably cheaper than the 1/2 of the house you might lose.

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B.F.

answers from Atlanta on

I was always under the impression that if something is purchased while married it's shared jointly. Unless their is a prenump now I maybe incorrect and laws change. I think that you may have a good case against him with the fact that he didn't give any of the money and you can prove that you made the purchase with the inheritance, which if it wasn't for that neither of you would of had the house in the first place without that help. Let him talk and don't let him stress you too much. You know you can talk to legal aide for free and you may qualify having 4 children and all, for their help where you won't have to go it alone filing divorce papers plus you won't have the attorney fess. You know if the boys are with you and the ecomony is what it is right now I can't imagine any judge wanting you to sell a house and have you and the boys move into an apartment while living with their mother when they have a home. I am betting you soon to be ex has gotten some water cooler advice and wants to just call your bluff on the situation. Remember a parent being able to provide a home and stable inviroment stands a great chance on not losing as much as they think. Sorry I know I might not have the up to date court rulings but I bet I'm not far from it, I worked 17 yrs in criminal court but have been divorced 2 times.

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