Agreed to Be a What Do I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Updated on October 18, 2011
A.S. asks from Orwigsburg, PA
11 answers

my friend at work asked me today to be her bridesmaid. i was thrown off guard but happy. i said yes and thank you....i need to know what allllll my dutties are??? iv never done this before but want to be there for her. what do i do HEL

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answers from Charlotte on


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answers from San Francisco on

It could be a big expense unless you have a VERY condiserate and responsible bride. Generally speaking, when a young woman is planning a wedding those two attributes go out the window. So, you need to ask HER what HER expectations are and what the estimated costs will be. If they are not in your budget, you have the time to graciously bow out and perhaps offer to help in other ways.


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answers from St. Louis on

You are a bridesmaid not the maid of honor right? If that is the case the maid of honor will tell you what is expected. For the most part it is your attire at the wedding and you are expected at every shower.

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answers from El Paso on

I've never really heard of a bridesmaid being EXPECTED to do too much (other than maybe go to pick out a dress & get fitted, etc.) other than the Maid/Matron of Honor. I wouldn't worry too much, and if she asks for help and you have time, you always could, but if you don't, just let her know and offer to help at a point where you might have a little more flexibility with your schedule



answers from Oklahoma City on

I never did anything except were the dress they picked out and went to the rehearsal then the wedding. It was a lot of fun the last time I was in a wedding. She is one of 12 siblings so I was one of 10 bridesmaids. We wore babys breath rings in our hair and carried parasols. The guys wore spats, top hats, carried canes, and wore tuxes with tails. It was so much fun.



answers from Victoria on

I did not get to pee one time after the dress was on. and my aunt drank my drink. i agree with those that said ask her what she needs. i am sure there are sites that help with those types of things. how to be a brides maid.



answers from Detroit on

I was a bridesmaid for my cousin when she got married and really it was pretty simple. Got fitted for and wore the dress she had picked out, showed up for the rehearsal, walked down the aisle at the ceremony, and got to sit at the head table at the reception dinner.



answers from Pittsburgh on

Check out:

and most importantly, NEVER admit you think the bridesmaid dress she picks out is ugly. Paste on a smile and buy the dress...and shoes....etc.


answers from San Francisco on

Ask her. You would typically be expected to buy a dress and shoes. You would contribute to the bachelorette party with the other bridesmaids, and you'd probably be involved in planning some kind of bridal shower for her (though sometimes the bride's aunt or cousin will take that on, if you're lucky). In general, you might go with her to help pick out flowers, or help her make party favors for the wedding dinner, or go with her to her dress fittings, or help plan or decorate for the rehearsal dinner - or she may not expect that of you. It just depends what kind of wedding she is planning!

Some brides expect that you will have your hair professionally done (makeup and nails as well sometimes) - and some others are fine if you do this part yourself. Just depends on the bride. In my experience, brides who are paying for the wedding themselves tend to be slightly less crazy than the ones who have rich parents paying for everything. ;)



answers from Los Angeles on

If you don't want to do it, you can tell her no tomorrow.
But if you do, you may enjoy yourself since you've never done it before.
You may have to go w/her to shop for her wedding dress, you will need to go w/her to look for bridesmaid dresses, you will need to attend the bridal shower & help a little there, you will need to help plan & execute the bachelorette party. Some of these things will require you to help pay for some things. I hope she wants things w/i reason.
At the bridal shower, you may be asked to take notes of who gave her what as gifts.
At the bachelorette party, you help oganize some fun activity, call for hotels if out of town etc.



answers from Cleveland on

First off, make sure you're there for her when she needs something maybe ask who else is a bridesmaid, and maybe meet some of them. I've never been a bridesmaid, but my sister has. She's telling me these things.
You can offer to supply things for her bridal shower or something. Help plan or co-host the bridal shower or bachelorette party if you want. Try to attend as many wedding events as possible, and try to record the gifts that are given at the events and wedding.
Also provide emotional support for the bride when she needs it. Thank her for giving you this title-it means a lot. Congratulate the couple as much as you can too.

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