Aggressive Behavior in 2 Year Old Boy

Updated on October 20, 2010
M.B. asks from Marysville, WA
27 answers

Our boy has started acting aggressive since before 18 months. He started pinching and hasn't really stopped. I have tried everything, and it comes and goes. He has recently really been acting bad when we change his diaper. He pinches, scratches, almost kicks me in the face, and has kicked my poor husband in the groin a few times as well as actually kicked him in the head. Again, we've tried talking, yelling, and patted his bottom to get his attention. Nothing works. My gut tells me that it may be the allergy medicine that we've been giving him for quite awhile now, even before we found out he's allergic to our 4 cats and 1 dog. (We have had long discussions about giving up the animals, tearing out the carpets, etc. with the doctor. Right now the meds seem to be really helping and we're not ready to take any drastic action).

He also has been diagnosed with asthma and he only seems to need meds when he has a cold. When that happens, we have to give him nebulizer treatments of Albuterol and Pulmacort (sp.? a steriod). We still have to give him the nebulizer every day with the steriod until our follow-up appt. w/ the asthma/allergy specialist. I am wondering if the meds are causing his aggressive behavior. He can be very sweet and is really smart, but I know he is strong willed and very active. He also has a speech delay and we are going to speech therapy.

I guess my question is, has anybody else experienced these behavior issues due to meds and/or speech delay? I'm also wondering if it's time to start potty training since he acts up the worst when it's time for a diaper change. He wakes up with a very wet diaper every morning, so I'm thinking it's too early to start it! Thanks for your advice and experience!

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So What Happened?

I'm not ready to say what has happened yet. However, I'm thinking of NEVER posting a question to Mamapedia again since 2 out of 3 responses were critical, judgemental, and mean spirited. How dare you judge me when you don't have all of the facts and information? Thanks but NO THANKS.

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L.S.

answers from New London on

I reread them and only a few out 20 were judgemental and they weren't so much judgemental as passionate. I think they even had some good advice.

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Y.B.

answers from Seattle on

My son is pretty aggressive too, just with his dad and I. He slaps my husband up alongside the head, and he hits everything. He likes to take his hammers and hit the wall, or pound outside in the dirt. I asked his pediatrician about this and she said welcome to the Y chromosome. The best thing we have found is to put him down when he does this and give him a firm NO! I have also noticed he is more aggressive when he is tired. He is also kicking and bucking when we change his diapers and I have to chase him around the house because he doesn't want his diaper changed I think this is just a phase. I do find that he is also more aggressive with his dad then he is with me, and I think that is because they play rougher with each other. I would also hold off on potty training. Since he has speech delays it will be very hard for him to communicate with you. My son is 25 months and we aren't even close to potty training yet. I would definetly investigate the meds, I used to take care of a little boy who was on an inhaler and would always get the shakes afterwords and then get really hyper. Also try to remember he is a boy and they are sooooo different from girls. I see this every time we have a play date with my best friend and her twin daughters. They are so different. He is crashing through things and knocking things down while they are setting things up and playing nice.

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N.W.

answers from Dallas on

A book that may be helpful is Healing the New Childhood Epidemics: Autism, Asthma, ADHD and Allergies by Dr. Kenneth Bock. You may also want to look into Sensory Processing Dysfunction. The book The Out of Sync Child may be helpful there too. Also a developmental pediatrician may or may not be helpful. Please keep asking questions even if you get answers that seem mean.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

I have Asthma... and have had it since I was a child.
I take Asthma meds... inhalers... when needed.
But... Asthma... is something a person has EVERY day... not only when sick. Everyday... I think about my Asthma...
When I am sick... my Asthma simply gets worse... because the lungs are weak. Then at that time, more intense asthma meds are needed... before an emergency situation arises... inability to breathe... is very serious... .

Being sick does not lead to Asthma... Asthma is ALWAYS there first, as one's medical condition... THEN, anytime a person is sick... being sick in any way, just makes the Asthma way way way worse... or having to end up in a hospital...

When I was a child.. .my parents took out all carpeting... and the pets were kept outside. Even my stuffed animals... were something I could not keep in my room.. or my Mom washed it every week.

Asthma... meds... can make a person or child more hyper or aggravated... ask your Doctor, if the DOSAGE can be adjusted... or, there are many other types of Asthma inhalers... and each one will work or not, for the person.

BUT... just so you know.. Asthma meds... has to be taken... otherwise, a person can even die... from Asthma. It is not to be taken lightly.
And for your information... ONCE your son HAS TO take inhalers AND Pulmicort & nebulizer treatments... that is because... his Asthma... has gotten to the bad stage.... and it was NOT taken care of earlier. Asthma... is something that has to be taken care of.... everyday. It is about preventive care... not only acute emergency care...

All the best,
Susan

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K.U.

answers from Detroit on

Someone will probably give more answers, but I know this much...some allergy meds/antihistamines can make them act really wacko. A friend of mine has had to try different antihistamines on her 4 y.o. daughter for recurrent hives (for which the underlying cause has yet to be determined) and has noticed that certain ones seem to turn her into a pint-sized psychopath. My mom said that when I was little and had a bad cold, the doctor prescribed something that contained an antihistamine and it made me crazy! Sometimes antihistamines (like Benadryl) make kids more sedate just like adults, but sometimes they cause just the opposite - more hyperactive behavior.

My gut says that I would not be trying any potty training if he is that resistant to getting his diaper changed. There are other signs that are consistent with him being ready, like realizing his diaper is wet or dirty and wanting you to do something about it, and showing more interest in using the potty, as well as staying dry for several hours. Right now his behavior could be medication related and it doesn't seem like a good time to be trying to teach him something as complex as potty training. Have you considered trying a different allergy medication from what he is on right now?

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

My grandson has apraxia of speech which means that his biology makes it difficult for him to form his mouth to make sounds. He's now 7 and was very delayed in learning to talk. He is easily angered and physically aggressive in his special ed class tho not at home, anymore. A couple of years ago he would hit and kick his adult family members. He's much better behaved with us now. I attribute it to our learning how to respond to him.

We leave him alone when he's angry. He's told to go to his room until he feels better. You don't say how old your son is and so I don't know if this would work for you. At first we had to take him to his room and continue to do so until he calmed down. He can play, even watch TV, listen to music, do whatever he wants to help himself calm down. If your son is still a toddler you'd have to help him learn what works for him.

Another thing that we did was not even try to deal with him when he was in a mood. In your example relating to diaper changes as I understand it, we'd not change his diaper. He'd want it changed once he was uncomfortable. Or we'd find ways to make changing it easy. For example, use night time pull ups that can be whipped off while he's standing. Perhaps then let him run around naked until he's ready to have a diaper put back on.

Perhaps you've gotten into a pattern that's like a power struggle. You want him to do something and he's going to show his independence. Find ways to give him choices. Do you want to stand up or lay down while I change your diaper?

When my grandson is beginning to be angry, I keep a physical distance between him and me so that if he does reach out to hit or kick he doesn't reach me full force. I tell him that hitting isn't appropriate (he's 7). Then I leave the room. This gives him time to calm down and gets me out of the fray so that I don't get angry.

Because my grandson is having difficulty with aggression at school, I went back and looked thru some of the literature I had from his preschool years. One book that I recommend is Positive Parenting for Preschoolers by Jane Nelson. The book actually says to do just that when a preschooler wants to hit and kick. Leave the room. Treat his actions as you would a temper tantrum. Don't try to change his behavior. Just by leaving you are giving him the message that what he's doing is not acceptable.

Another book that is helpful is 123 Magic. I didn't use that method and so cannot describe it for you but I read the book after seeing it recommended on this site and wished that I'd seen it when my grandchildren were toddlers and preschoolers.

I believe that not being able to talk does increase frustration and adds to anger issues. I suspect medication can do that too. My granddaughter, who is now 10, has allergies, eczema, and asthma. She's on meds and has had difficulty with anger issues. She learned how to manage her anger more quickly than my grandson has. Perhaps it's because not only can she talk, she is also very social, and seems better able to reason and understand in conversations.

Both of my grandchildren were spirited, high needs babies and now children that take more energy and creative thinking than more docile babies and children. We have to learn how to work with their strong will instead of fighting it. Give choices. Expect compliance. Just not arguing will sometimes gain compliance. Be patient. Most of the time I can out wait my grandchildren. An example is when I want them to go to the car. I tell them I'm leaving and leave. When they were preschool, I'd take their hand and walk with them. Or I'd race them to the car. Now, I walk towards the car and they usually follow before I've gone too far. They don't want to be left behind. Not that I'd ever leave them but somehow they feel that leaving is a possibility, I suppose.

Keep trying new ways of managing your son until you find ways that work most often. Nothing will work all of the time. When you're trying different ways, use them for a period of time to give both you and your son time to get used to them. Your son's reaction is most likely to be to test and test some more with anything that you use. That's normal. He's new to this world and is testing to find out how things work. You have to be consistent for him to know that you will always respond that way.

It's important for you to know when to try something different, tho. Parenting is a two way process. Both you and your son are learning how to relate with each other and what will work with the other one. Kids seem to have the most tolerance for things not working. They will hold out forever it sometimes seems.

I urge you to take parenting classes and/or read parenting books to find ways of dealing with your son that will work better for both of you.

Continue to talk with your son's doctors about drug effects. I suggest that talking with the pharmacist might be even more helpful. The pharmacist's focus in his education is directly on the drugs.

Know that you are doing the best that you can with what you know at the moment. Continue to ask questions, if not on this site, of other's who may have more experience with the issue with which you're dealing. Try out what might work for you and ignore the rest. Expect no easy answers. Have patience with yourself and your son.

I suggest that you're sensitive because you're unsure of yourself. That's OK. Realize that you are doing the best that you can and ignore anything that smacks of criticism or judgment. Take what you can use. Calm yourself by repeating a mantra to yourself. I used to be very anxious about things. I would repeat "I am doing the best that I can do." over and over. With time, just saying it to myself would help me to feel more confident in what I was doing and enable me to look for other options.

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I.S.

answers from Seattle on

Wow...what a kick in the stomach. Some people can be cruel.

So...just so you know...the pets may not be the only thing causing his allergies. Some kids are allergic to dust (which is in every home, and hard to avoid completely) or random little things that don't occur to everyone. I wouldn't feel too guilty about having your pets there. I understand that some pets are like family. However if you think it may be the meds, just remember that giving them up might have to be an action that becomes necessary. It might help to find a temporary home for the animals to do a test period to see if your son improves without the medication.
Personally, and I could be off so please don't take my words the wrong way, it sounds like your son might have trouble regulating his emotions. I wouldn't be surprised if that is connected to the speech delay.
Also, does your son just giggle and wiggle happily when being changed? My 18 month old daughter thinks its the greatest game in the world to bounce around like a jumping bean when we are trying to get her dressed, but she isn't upset.
My son (same age, Twins) like to 'tickle' but he is too little to understand that it hurts, so it seems more like pinching.

As to the discipline, I doubt the reason he is still showing aggressive behaviors is because 'you didn't do it right.' I have found that the absolute best way to discipline my twins is called positive parenting. I took a class for it when I was pregnant and although it is a drastically different way of parenting, it fosters more positivity between parent and child. And it doesn't require discipline, however, it does take alot of patience :)
Here is a great link for positive parenting. Alot of it is in "Class" format because it is a parenting class, but under the Resources section are some great tips.
http://www.positiveparenting.com/index.html
I really hope you can figure out what is up with your little guy, and I'm sorry about the hurtful things that were said.

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L.D.

answers from Las Vegas on

It is reasonable to question whether the meds may be playing a part in your son's aggressive behavior. I also can see how his speech delay is a contributing factor as well. I don't know the extent and nature of your son's speech delay but you may want to speak with his speech therapist about this issue and see what she recommends. If he is not talking yet, maybe they will want to implement the picture exchange system (aka PECS) which will give him a way to let his needs be known and feel more in control of his universe so to speak. PECS can also help with getting your son to talk; your speech therapist can explain how.

The pinching your elbow can be either a bad habit that he picked up -- I know because my daughter did this for the longest time -- or it can be an attention grabbing tactic for him. This will take your powers of observation to find out if it is one or the other.

As for the agression, since it is only happening when it is diaper changing time, I am wondering if, (a) there is a sensory processing issue that is going on, (b) if he has fluid in his ear and it is causing him pain and discomfort to lay down, or (c) happens to be like my son was at that age -- very resistent to laying down for a diaper change so I had to start using pull ups.

One thing I started doing with my son and daughter when they were that age was to put them in time out or the naughty corner whenever they were the least bit aggressive. 2 minutes for a 2 year old and everytime they tried to get out of the naughty corner before the clock ran out, they had to go back and the clock was reset for another 2 minutes. Mind you, both of my children were toddlers at once and my son also has a speech delay as well, so it was very important for me that they learn that physical violence would always get them in serious trouble.

Without seeing your child in action and what's going on, this is the best advise I can give you. If you have any other questions or need more information, please feel free to PM me.

Hope this helps. Wishing all the best for you and your son.

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A.C.

answers from Seattle on

Hi M., I also don't think the mom's that answered you were being judgemental. I think everyone was giving you some good advise in their opinion. I on the other hand think that you probably know what is really happening. It's pretty apparent that you little boy is getting too many drugs when you could probably give the animals away and keep him from any more suffering. I have been very fortunate not to have had any of these things happen in my life with my children but, I do have a two year old granddaughter and would hate to have her on meds as those you have no choice but to administer. You asked our opinion and mine is to get rid of the animals. I'm so sorry because I know it's very hard to get rid of animals that you love dearly. I'm feeling very sad however, for your little boy right now in that he has to keep taking these heavy duty meds for the sake of having animals around that cause him to be sick. I wish you all of the best in your decisions.

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T.F.

answers from San Francisco on

I agree with DVMMOM about some allergy medications. I have problems with sudafed. I've also heard Steriods can cause aggressive behavior in dogs. Maybe you can discuss this with your pediatrician?

Having pets and allergies is hard, your son seems to have a very strong reaction, but I'm wondering if you were able to get rid of the carpets, drapes, etc if that would help enough that you wouldn't have to get rid of the pets. (UGH, I know that would be so expensive though, but maybe something you could save up for?) Could insurance help since the doctor is ordering it? Something to ask. Is there someone (family) that could take either the dog or the cats for awhile to help you see if this helps?

My daughter used to be slightly allergic to cats but seemed to outgrow it. We also have 2 dogs (she's not on allergy medication or anything) but the household chores I am on top of are related to keeping the pet hair at bay. We do have a large area of tile in our house and that's where the dogs are allowed so it is easier to clean. I haven't been as good about this but I've heard having pets regularly bathed can help with allergies.

As far as discipline, different things work for different kids. He may be too young but I found the book 123 Magic to be very helpful. Anyway, all the best, I think the problems that have many factors that can be causes are the hardest to figure out the best solutions.

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M.B.

answers from Dayton on

I would hold off on the potty training until the behavior stuff is resolved. No reason to add more stress to your day or his. All kinds of asthma and allergy meds can cause crazy reactions in kids; the albuterol itself could be like giving him a cup of coffee and then wanting him to be a calm, collected little boy - we all know that wouldn't happen! Talk to the doctor especially if the behavior worsened after the medication was started; there are tons of treatment options out there that may work better for him. Toddlers are full of crazy emotions and energy as it is; adding medication that makes him act not like himself may just push you and him over the edge.

I'm sure the speech delay isn't helping either one of you with frustration either, but it sounds like you got good advice on talking with the speech therapist for suggestions.

I have no idea about what to do with the animals - unfortunately that is something you, your husband, and doctor are going to have to figure out.

After you have his meds figured out, you can decide then how you want to approach the behavior issues (if they continue). I've heard the book "1,2,3 Magic" works well for many parents. I'm more of an old school thinker with parenting and like John Rosemond's "Making the Terrible Two's Terrific." Unfortunately, I think these behaviors may linger due to habit even if the medication was making them worse. Two year olds come around pretty quickly though, so you should have your problem solved in short order with consistent discipline.

Sometimes in parenting all we can do is put one foot in front of the other, and it sounds like that is where you may be at least until you figure out if the medication is contributing to your problems. Hopefully, like so many things in parenting, "this too shall pass."

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S.B.

answers from Wichita on

I understand that pets are like family, but sometimes you have to do what's best for your child. Do you know if it's the cats or the dog he's allergic to? My husband was allergic to my rabbit when we met, but I kept him until we discovered our daughter was also allergic. Giving him away was extremely hard, but I found a nice family who sends me pictures sometimes and I know he's much happier getting played with rather than being stuck in his cage most of the time.

Do you have any family who can temporarily take the pets? My husband's brother takes our dog if we need him to. You could try temporarily having the pets out of house (a month, maybe, if your family is agreeable) and deep cleaning the carpet and drapes and see if that helps. If it does, you'll know that the best thing would be getting rid of the pets, as hard as that would be.

I also have to suggest that the allergies are making the asthma worse, and that can't be easy for your little man.

I wish I had better advice and I hope you can figure out how to help him!

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D.S.

answers from Tulsa on

the meds will cause that the asthma meds are like taking speed. the kicking during diaper change is a phase my youngest also went through. it was a game to him. he would start laughing when he did it. the speech delay will cause fustration and cause this also. start teaching him sign. young 2s are too young to train and older 2s depends on the child. if your having problems with him unless he is showing strong signs I wouldnt try to train yet.

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J.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

My youngest and hubby both have BAD allergies, my youngest gets bad asthma attacks and one of her trigger is her allergy to animals so my response would be to give the pets to a good home and tear out the carpets. I think your kids are your top priority. I would talk to your child's Ped before stopping any meds.

I haven't experienced any bad reactions to meds so I can't help but I think you should talk to your child's Ped before making any big decisions if you want to keep your pets. We had pets in the past and tried everything but nothing worked. Our current pet is a guinea pig, it is the only animal we can have in our house becasue we can keep it away from my youngest, no dander around the house yet she can still enjoy him.

About the potty training I would wait to get this problem under control. Good luck!

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G.T.

answers from Modesto on

It very well may be the meds M., you probably should talk to the doc about it. You might want to get some of the air sanitizer fan things and put them in different rooms of the house, might keep down the dander from the pets.... and check your ac/heat filters and change them often. It just seems your boy is so young to have to be on allergy medication already. Have they check for deviated septum, my son had that, we thought he had allergies but instead his nasal passage was just all screwed up, he had a surgery and it helped him to breath much better.
Since your boy has Asthma, ultimately you will probably need to wean your pets to outside animals only eventually. My husband is semi allergic to our cat, I love my husband but I love the stupid cat too and cant imagine getting rid of her..... so we just deal with it somehow.
But, yes, definitely find out if their are other alternatives to the meds your son is taking. If you take him off of them what would happen?
ADD ON:
I read your response and I think it was very mean. That might be rubbing off on your son, ya think?

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C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

Part of him being aggressive during his diaper changes is his age. Hang in there! My son at that age learned if he yelled "OW MOMMY YOU ARE HURTING ME" that it really got to me. I would simply be changing his diaper and he would scream this and in a public place it was very very embarrassing! He outgrew it. I did not read the other posts - sorry to hear you got some rude/judgmental answers.

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J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

I have a friend who has cats and her son is allergic to them and she got one of those air purifiers. We had one for our little apartment when we had a mold problem and my son was very allergic to the mold from our swamp cooler. It really helps. You just plug it in any room. You can get a couple of them for his room and living room etc. I'm sorry for the rude comments. I HATE that!! Most of the time, people are very nice on this site but sometimes they can be mean spirited!! It's very frustrating. I'm so sorry! Good luck with your son!!

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H.L.

answers from Portland on

Any chance you can get him to be more in control of the diaper changing situation? Maybe he can hand you the wipes or hold the wipes dispenser or be in charge of helping to dress himself. My daughter is strong-willed and I try to give her control here and there so she doesn't always feel like she's taking orders.

I'm sure you don't want to hear this, and it would break my heart, but do you think you can find some loving homes for the animals? My brother had allergies as a toddler and my mom had to let the animals go to neighbors. His problems cleared up immediately. I know it's hard though.

Update: Just read everyone's posts and I think the idea of having the animals go to a temporary place for a little while would be great. That way you can see if it helps or not before you have to make difficult decisions. I feel for you. Hang in there.

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D.T.

answers from Portland on

Wow. I am sorry you got such a bad response. Some people are very strong in their opinions and don't realize they are being insensitive. My youngest started biting other children at daycare (not adults) because of his limited ability to talk at two. Speech therapy at early intervention helped with this. I would ask your doctor what the side effects are to the meds your son is taking if you think it may be them. There should be some litature that tells all the side effects. You could probably look for a forum for asthma sufferers also that may be able to give you some more caring and accurate answers. That being said, both of my children at that age started fighting having their diapers changed. So it may just be a stage in his life. But I would check everything out to make sure and give yourself some comfort.

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M.L.

answers from Seattle on

I can tell you from past experience that Albuterol definately causes aggessive behavior that is out of character for your child. Can the doctor change his meds or give a lower dosage?

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

Hi M.,

I worked with a child who had to use a nebulizer and when she did, I witnessed a remarkable change in behavior. Suffice it to say, investigating the medication and asking if there might be others which would have less dramatic side effects is a good place to start.

I am so sorry for the lack of empathy you've been met with here. We are just beginning to look into some recent allergy symptoms for our 3 year old son, and have a list of things we puzzle over. Our feather duvets? Dust? Heaven help us, we hope beyond hope it isn't our 14 year old gray cat. I understand so much how our pets are our family, and often a family that existed before we had children. I would be heartbroken to be told we'd have to find a new home for our big Gus Kitty; my son actually calls him his 'big brother'. It's callous to suggest that someone is not being the absolutely best parent they can be because they don't run out and dump their pets with other people the second their kid starts to sneeze. It's like being asked to give up a family member! Unfortunately with forums, you can get some very judgmental answers...

I agree with other posters regarding using as many positive discipline techniques as possible. I was wondering, since you have mentioned a possible speech delay (although, from my years of working with toddlers, I didn't start to see any sort of consistent language until well past 20 months as an average...) Are you doing any signing with him? Sometimes children act out due to their frustration that they aren't able to express themselves well. So, signing might help. When he pinches, if it were me, I'd give him something else that's satisfying to pinch, and keep redirecting him. "You can pinch this. Mama is not for pinching." and then follow up "Show me what you need". I have suggested to several families that we can make up a small set of cards with super-simple pictures to suggest basic needs: diaper changes, milk, food, hugs/being held, resting/sleep, and anything else your son regularly wants. Laminate them at your local Kinkos. First, YOU use the cards to communicate to him what's going to happen next-- tell him and show him the card at the same time, let him play with the card while you are 'doing' the action (diaper change) if possible, and then, leave the cards around for him to bring to you, and be responsive to the card itself. "Oh, I see you brought me the milk card. Let's go get some milk for you..." If he's not interested in signing (although you might have to work for months to determine this, as it can sometimes take hundreds of times for kids to absorb the information), the cards can sometimes build a little bridge of communication and may help with the frustration.

If it were me, I'd wait on the toilet learning for now. One thing at a time. Want to find out WHEN he'll be 'ready' to learn how to use the toilet? The University of Michigan website has a great resource for assessment and I've used this successfully many times. Google "Toilet Learning"; the webpage I'm citing has word "angelunits" in the URL.

Wish I could send you a hug. What a lot of different pieces to deal with. I hope some of the positive posters were able to offer an idea or two which might work.

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T.H.

answers from Portland on

Hi!

I'll keep it short and sweet. My little sweetie turned into not such a sweetie a little while back. Lots of hitting, kicking, throwing and temper tantrums were part of my daily life. I checked out a couple books from the library on "spirited children" or "difficult behavior" and my favorite was "The Difficult Child" by Stanley Tureck. Within a few days my sons behavior was modified for the better and I found his advise to be helpful. He also has a great chapter on how horrible a mom feels when this starts to happen to her kid...like it's her fault or something. Anyway, you might check out a book designed for a more spirited child. :)

Best of luck!

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K.M.

answers from Detroit on

My Granddaughter has asthma. She Did NOT have to take meds all the time as the one Mom suggested. I agree with you that some of the answeres weren't very nice. You are doing great I am sure you are following the meds schedule. Kids with Allergies can be very cranky they don't feel well, they itch and have stuffy runny noses and probably headaches etc. Albuterol really can make them act up. It takes a while for that and other meds. to get completely out of the system and a lot of medications can stay in the fatty tissue of the body for a very, very long time. Every child is different for potty training you will know when it is time I wouldn't worry until he's older. Hang in there. Also bathing the animals often can cut down on the dander and hepa filters can really help too not with only that but dust and other things.
Kay

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S.H.

answers from Spokane on

Hi M.,
I grew up with allergies and asthma and it is not fun. I've been hospitalized for my asthma which my allergies will trigger quite dramatically. I am allergic to cats, dogs, horses, grass, smoke, etc. etc. I have to be diligent about staying away from these triggers b/c they will cause my asthma to flare up immediately. I cannot pet a cat w/o washing hands and face right away. If my children pet a cat then touch me I will also react. I also know from experience that asthma meds (albuterol, breathing treatments) will make your heart race, make you feel edgy and agitated. Steroids will make all that even worse. The medications your son has to be on for his asthma very well could contribute to behavior issues.
I know you don't want to hear this again......but you really should consider finding loving homes for your pets. I know that is easier said than done b/c pets are definitely part or our lives but it may be what your son needs so that he is not so dependant on the medication. What your son is going through with his allergies and asthma will also make him very tired because it's exhausting for him to have to work so hard to breath. So that will also lead to behavior issues. He is also 2 :) he is testing you and his boundaries. Be consistent and stay calm. Set the rules and be sure he knows the consequences for every time he hits/kicks/pinches.
I tell you all this b/c asthma and allergies are a "way of life". You may need to make changes to make sure your son is as healthy as he can be.
GOOD LUCK!! It's not easy.
You're in my prayers!

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G.A.

answers from Seattle on

Wow, you sure are having a lot happening at the same time. Well you do have boy so he may resist potty training, but it wouldn't hurt to try. If you can get underware of characters he likes if it is cars or trains, etc, that might motivate him to try.

My son was very aggressive. He first started running into the door for attention and then he started like "ramming" me as though he was a billy goat. I was at my wits end and that year that I was having trouble, my mother helped me with an alternative approach. Every time he would "billy goat me" I gave him a hug. The shock of getting love was enough and I'd say within a month's time he stopped doing that all together. It is worth a try and you have nothing to lose.

I was having issues at a daycare that I also had to swtich to a home care. He needed additional attention and more one-on-one time with the teachers. So if he is in that type a situation, it might not hurt to look at a home care.

My son is also delayed. I am a strange mom and I am not alarmed because I too was behind. I was able to catch up between kindergarden and 1st grade. I just finish filling out the application for predevelopmental preschool. I am more interested in building on my son's strenghts than his weakness. That is what makes me strange. Do not feel bad that he is behind in one aspect, because he is probably advanced in another.

If you are a SAHM, just enjoy and cherrish the time you have with him. The days are long and the years are fast and before you know it, he'll be in school full time.

Hopefully the hugs help and good luck

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K.C.

answers from Seattle on

Hi M.,
I can relate to alot of this. My son has also had asthma issues, but luckily only when he gets a respiratory virus. We've done the inhalers, nebs, steriods and have had several hospitalizations. Since April of this year, we have been working with Dr. Michael Baker and Dr. Molly Keys at the Children's Homeopathic Clinic in Bellevue and have had really GREAT results. My son has had three episodes of cough (which typically turns to wheezing pretty quickly) and we have used the prescribed remedy and he has recovered each time, with NO inhalers or other drugs, within two days. My insurance covers the Homeopath visits, with the exception of the first visit (~$300) because it takes 1.5 hours. It may be something to consider, if you are interested in trying it. It may take a few tries to find the right remedy, but when you do, you can have amazing and immediate results. You just have to trust in it, be patient, and keep trying til you get the correct remedy. It could also help with the aggression too. There is a great book called 'Impossible Cure' by Amy Lansky that explains homeopathy in understandable terms (the author's son was cured of autism).

A suggestion for the diaper changes and kicking...At my son's montessori school, they do 'stand-up' diapering in the bathroom. The child stands up, you sit on a low stool, remove the diaper, clean them up (you can tell them to touch their toes to clean their bum), and then put on a fresh diaper. They say it helps them to potty train too because they learn that this potty business happens in the bathroom and you can start asking him if he wants to sit on the potty when you are in there. Drop the solids from his diaper into the toilet and let him flush it away to help him start getting involved in the process too.

My son also has had issues with aggression and anger/rages. I think the homeopathy is helping with that. But recently, he has started squeezing his baby sister and he has some auditory issues too (aversion to loud sounds). I've been reading up on sensory processing issues and I suppose your son's pinching could possibly be related to some sensory issues. I like the other moms suggestion about giving him something to pinch as an alternative. One thing that also helped when my son was acting up (screaming, hitting) was to just simply ignore it and not give ANY reaction. With the screaming, once I completely stopped acknowledging it, he stopped doing it within two days. It goes against all of your instincts, but I tell you, it really worked in this instance.

Signing may also help. I think these 'little people' get really frustrated when they can't articulate what they want to communicate, which leads to behavior issues. It's really easy to just teach a few simple signs. Go to the library and check out a book on it, or look online. They pick it up quick and it's a natural way for them to communicate. We teach them to wave 'bye-bye', clap their hands, etc. It's all the same, really, and it's thrilling when they learn the signs and you know what they want!

Well, best of luck to you. It's a tough time and they come and go, I promise!

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T.S.

answers from Dallas on

Hi! Just wanted to let you know of a great supplement that my kids and I have been taking for several months, which has helped us dramatically with allergies and our immune systems. Let me know if you'd like more info! Good luck to you!

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