Aggression at Playgroup

Updated on March 23, 2012
K.L. asks from Fort Stewart, GA
7 answers

My 16 month old son has just discovered pushing. While he doesn't do this very often (he is an only child and is not really into playing WITH kids at this age) when it does happen, I am not sure what to do. He has pushed my husband and I a few times and we have stopped the activity and tell him not to push; it's not nice etc. Today at playgroup, he was playing with a big set of instruments and when a child came up to play with one of them, he pushed him off to the side so he couldn't get to the toys (not very hard at all- no one was hurt). I immediately told him that he couldn't push his friends, he could hurt somebody and ended his time at playgroup. We were actually going to be leaving an a few minutes anyway, but he didn't know that.

I am looking for ways to deal with aggression at this young age, sonce i know that some parts of parenting are trial and error as to what will actually work for an indivial. This way I have a few extra tricks up my sleeve.

How do you deal with aggression with your toddlers? Also, how do you work on sharing?

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answers from Phoenix on

Until kids can talk, they do these things because they can't verbalize what they want/need. So just keep correcting him and redirecting him. When he gets a little older, you tell him to "use his words" and teach him to not hit, bite, etc. Good luck.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Milwaukee on

I don't really call it aggression I call it "2". What you are doing is fine and he will eventually learn not to act out at others. ;)

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Houston on

The kids at our son's preschool were always told to keep their hands to themselves. Try passing a toy back and forth between you and your son and each of you hold it for a minute or 2. When its his turn pass the toy to him and tell him YOU are sharing the toy with him. When its your turn have him hand you the toy and tell him that HE is now sharing the toy with you. Or you can spread a group of toys around the both of you and take turns saying "I'm going to share my ___" and then hand the other person that item from your group of toys.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Athens on

I think you are doing a wonderful job already!!! Keep it up and don't get tired.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Dothan on

Sounds as if what you are doing now is the PERFECT answer, 'sharing' is a learned experience so it is much harder for children in a one child household, there is 4.5 yrs between my oldest & the next (now 42 & 31) and 3.5 between the oldest granson & his brother (17 & 13 now) that we are raising, the transition was difficult in the 'sharing' aspect, you just have to be, 'on it' all of the time that they are with other children & perhaps sitting down with him @ home, on the floor & 'playing' with some of his toys might help. I alwayz made the kidz share all of their things except for 'special' items that they NEVER had to share with anyone! That seemed to satisfy their 'mine' as it is with we adults, we have special things we choose to not share with others as well.

Good Luck, mama! You are doing just fine! :)

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Williamsport on

Some kids will learn by repetitively telling them to not hit, push, etc and redirecting, distracting etc. Lots won't. For the ones that don't, this method totally works: Back to Basics Discipline by Janet Campbell Matson. These are skills kids can learn immediately at this age, so if something is taking tons of repetition it's not very effective for your child-you'll know right away. I never had to worry with my toddlers because they learned immediately with discipline not to do these things to other toddlers or parents. I didn't really force "sharing" but i did not allow fits or aggression either. Then if they shared or not didn't matter to me. As long as they were being nice.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Philadelphia on

I always practiced sharing at home since my daughter is an only kid. My mom always said I tortured and played with her like she was my sister so she got used to having to share and play rough with M.=) Playgroups helped, but I think some kids are J. wasnt a big issue with my daughter shes always been very empathtic (sp) and sensitive to others needs and feelings

1 mom found this helpful
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