Aggression, Aspergers, ADD/ADHD

Updated on March 31, 2010
A.T. asks from Lynnwood, WA
13 answers

My son turned 5 December 2009. The last month or so he has had a lot of aggression problems at his daycare. He is an only child and he lives in a single parent household. A few friends have watched him and mentioned getting him checked for Autism (Aspergers - which is a mild form of Autism). His daycare teacher also recommended getting him checked for ADD/ADHD and dyslexia. I have talked to his doctor about of all this but he just brushes me off - telling me it's not a problem. I have just changed his doctor but I am not sure how to go about getting him checked overall for any learning disabilities (if that turns out to be the case). I am looking for any advice.

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answers from Houston on

I agree that starting with the school district for evaluation is a good idea (especially since it's free) however my son was evaluated by the school district and they found nothing to be concerned about. 6 months later I was able to get in to see a developmental pediatrician and received the diagnosis of Aspergers. I would suggest going ahead and finding a specialist and making an appointment. Usually they are scheduled months out in advance so that will give you time to go through the school district first. If they find nothing you can then keep the appointment you made. Once you have the diagnosis then go back to the school district with the report.

Good luck,

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answers from Chicago on

3 things to do RIGHT AWAY...

1. Contact your school district and request an evaluation - it's free
2. Make an appointment with a child psychologist, developmental pediatrician or pediatric neurologist - do it today as there are usually long waiting lists
3. Take your son to see an Occupational Therapist - most kids on the spectrum get OT as one of their therapies. The OT will also do an evaluation for sensory issues (but cannot give a medical diagnoses for any form of autism)

**Don't worry about what your regular pediatrician says...mine blew me off until my son's behavior was unbearable and he was completely miserable. My 6 yr old son has Asberger's/PDD-NOS and was diagnosed in 2009.

Feel free to email me with any questions.


2 moms found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

Hi! I'm a mom to an adorable 6 year old girl who has Asperger's. First off, pediatricians have a really hard time seeing problems with kids who are high-functioning. Many times, these kids are great with other adults (such as pediatricians), it's their peers they have a hard time with. My daughter's pediatrician just doesn't get it! He'll look at my daughter and say, "She's great! I just don't get it!" And you know what? He doesn't have to! He understands it's his short-coming. He'll still write any letter we need to support insurance, etc.

Definitely go to your home school to start the assessment process. If your insurance covers it, you may want to hire a clinical psychologist who can do an assessment also.

And IF they find anything (they may not), there are treatments that can help. Unlike the previous poster, we didn't do anything biomedical. My daughter eats gluten and dairy and hasn't had anything like chelation done to her. She has just had behavior therapy, and it's worked wonders with her. It's been about a year, and the psychologist who initially assessed her cannot believe the gains she made in a year's time! You will have to find what works for your son. For some, the gluten-free, casein free diet does wonders--it just depends.

Best of luck!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

My son is now 13 years old. I am a single mom. I just found out last year that he has autisim, At age 3 I began to notice he was different from other kids his age. He use to rock back and forth and he would hide and watch as kids would play, he cant do daily grooming himself he needs to be reminded step by step of what to do. He has aggression problems. He also has ADD. My doctor also blew me off. I had my son talk with his school counselor and she is the one that referred him to a specialist. They ran tests to see what the problem was. Here are some websites that might help you. Autsim Resources- or or
I hope this will help you.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Sacramento on

Hi A.-

I suggest you contact your local elementary school and ask about having him tested. In CA, they will test children as young as 3 at no cost to the families. If your son does have Autism or Aspergers or any type of learning disability, the sooner he's diagnosed, the better for him. I am assuming he'll start kindergarten this year. Having a diagnosis, whatever it turns out to be, will allow you to partner with his teachers and together come up with an educational plan that benefits all three of you.

Best of luck to you and your little guy.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from McAllen on

When I wanted my son tested my doctor didnt want to give me the referral, I had to practically threaten him, so I could get the referral, so if you are on medicaid and need his referral don't ask for his opinion just tell him I need a referral to this or that psychologist/behavioral specialist.
In my case we went to a behavioralist first, I asked for a referral to a neurologist (my son has a seizure disorder) and our neurologist gave us a referral to the psychologist who ultimately gave us the diagnostic. All these doctors gave us a written report which we then turned into the special ed department at our school district and got services for my son.
I know it can be frustrating, but don't give up, it will happen soon, also contact a therapy center, have him evaluated for services, he might be able to benefit from therapy as well. Good luck!!



answers from Columbus on

you can also have your child tested by a child psychologist or psychiatrist. they are able to do testing that can be a start for schools and your doctor.



answers from Fort Collins on

Hi there, I have a 9yr old son who was diagnosed ADHD in 2007 and then fall of 2008 we started seeing more social issues going on as he approached 2nd grade. I would suggest getting a referral for a neuro psychologist we did it through Childrens. But also a childrens therapy group with a OT can run tests too.
The others saying talk to the school district are good too. Once you have this in place, if you need insurance you can check with SSII disability. If they find your child to have a disability such as ADHD or aspergers or autistic spectrum then he may qualify.I had no idea that my son would qualify for this but he did. We are able to get Medicaid which quarantees his therapy sessions and some supplemental income which has helped with our rent. In case you need the financial help.
The doctor should at least be willing to get you a referral to the proper specialist for Autistic/ asperger's diagnose. At least you can but your mind to rest and now how to best treat your child, IF you EVEN need too.
This is hard enough to think about but not have a doctor to turn to, look into this doctor and see if you really want to continue or ask around for more flexible doctors. I love our doctor very open, but he has been there since he was born premature and knows David's struggles.
Best of Luck and feel free to email me or call if you need more support. Youo are not alone,
[email protected] and on facebook too for support.


answers from Dallas on

My little sister (who is now almost 18) was diagnosed with autism and adhd when she was 4. She had all her delvelopmental milestones up until 3 1/2, then she shut down completely. She used to talk and want to be held, but all of a sudden she was only saying "no" and pushing us away. We don't know what caused it, but the doctor had her a room with toys, pictures, and tv. He observed what she did and noticed that she only wanted to be near the TV with the sound off. Anytime someone would try to turn it up with a remote, she'd scream. Autism can be found in such a variety of forms, the littlest known as Aspergers (although psychaitrists are getting rid of that diagnosis for insurance purposes, fyi). Does your son push people away? Does he have trouble with friends or constantly fight with people there (teacher included--- my sister lately has been punching her teacher because of her meds). Does he like to do one thing repeatively? Don't take him to a regular doctor, they aren't trianined much with that. He needs a psychaitrist just for diagnostic purposes. There is no cure for austism, but the aggression and adhd can be combatted with a mixture of things. Or, you can do the psychologist route, where he/she will suggest therapies to do at home. All together, they should be helpful. Just call around for a child psychaitrist (or a regular one and ask who they recommend for a child). Just tell them you need him checked for a variety of conditions due to behaviour at daycare. Good luck, and if you have any more can message me. I'm practically an expert on it :)



answers from New York on

have him be evaluated by the school district. put in a formal request (sent to the principal), and the ball should get rolling from there. ask to have him evaluated for everything (which you should, and also the school may recommend that as well). if he needs assistance in anything the school will provide for free. no need to go through teachers.



answers from Chicago on

One avenue for learning disorders is to ask the school district to do a complete case study on him. Down side is it won't be done until he is in school. not preschool. You can have him tested for stuff like speech and motor skills before then but it sounds more like you will need to get him tested for other stuff. Call and ask at your local school district. most of them will require a written request. They then have 30 school days to complete it. But again your child will need to be enrolled in the district and in classroom for the case study to be done. (case study is what it is called in illinois it may be something different in different states) study will involve him being observed in the classroom by a number of people, teacher, councilor, school social worker, someone from the district's special ed dept. the school nurse. they may or may not interact with him they may just observe and they may invade his space lol and ask him questions or interact in someway during the class time. good luck. and remember you are his number one advocate so if your unsure of what to do call and ask.



answers from Chicago on

My son was diagnosed with mild Aspergers at age 5. A neuropsychologist is the best person to do the testing and give you a plan of action. On her recommendation, we followed up with Occupational Therapy and a little Physical Therapy, both of which he's "graduated" from. He continues to have Social/Pragmatic Speech Therapy which helps him hundredfold. Check with your insurance first to see what is covered. My ped. saw nothing wrong with my son either but he only sees him a few minutes a year whereas I am with him every day of his life!



answers from Sioux Falls on

Research EPA/DHA. Is your son getting enough? EPA / DHA helps with brain function. You can talk to your chiropractor about it and his issues. Chiropractic can help without having to medicate him. Find a good pediatric chiropractor. If you email me, I can have mine refer you to one in your area.

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