Afternoon Preschool for Heavy Napper?

Updated on July 30, 2010
B.W. asks from Seattle, WA
7 answers

Please bear with me, this is complicated! My 3 year old (38 months) twin boys went to an afternoon preschool program 2 days a week from age 20 months to 3 years. It was through the clinic where they got speech therapy. It really wasn't ideal, because I had to put them down for an early nap (11:30 to 1:00) so we often couldn't do many activities in the morning. So when they graduated, I was happy they would be going to morning preschool. Both boys have been going to a community program 2 mornings a week for a few months. One twin qualifies for developmental preschool (has an IEP) in the Fall as he still has speech delay and some minor social delay, but the other does not. My twin with the IEP has been placed in a morning program at the local developmental preschool. I was hoping for my other twin to go as a peer model but they didn't have space. So I was going to keep him in the community preschool. I just found out the afternoon program at the developmental preschool has space for both boys (1:00-3:30) if I want it. The problem is my twins both still nap, and my "peer model" twin REALLY needs his nap. He has never skipped a nap. He gets EXHAUSTED and cranky between noon and 1:00 and has to go down. He could easily sleep for three hours after morning preschool. He still sleeps well at night. My twin with the delays could probably stop napping, as he is having a hard time getting to sleep at night. BUT he also gets cranky without it. Help, I don't know what to do! Early nap really isn't an option as they would have to go down really early to get any kind of decent nap before the little bus picks them up.

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So What Happened?

Thanks! Many different perspectives here! Well, my napper twin isn't going to do very well in afternoon school as a crankypants I've decided. So we're going to go with 2-3 mornings a week at the community preschool for T, and 4 mornings a week at developmental preschool for S, plus a day with his brother at the community preschool.

More Answers

L.G.

answers from Eugene on

I did not raise twins. But, for your own sake you do need some free time. Twins are hard even if they have no developmental complications. Put them in the same school so you can get a break.
My tired three year old would have napped every afternoon until she was six. But the school that was available and helped her the most it turned out with her speech development was the local non special one as she learned from the other children. She was tired when she came home but we learned how to cope with late afternoon snacks and an earlier bedtime.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

I still don't quite understand. Is there a rush on this earth that they have to be in school this second? Is there a time limit that you need to make a decision? If you can do something that will help your life to become easier, then do that. You have seen how your child is with naps between noon and one at home. It is not necessarily that way at school. On the other hand if you need both children in at the same time besides the IEP which you are clear about (for example if you work and need another bus, etc.) then you just stand firm and tell them what you want.Sometimes someone moves or backs out Or wait it out awhile, or find another completely different situation. You are the only one living your life and they are your children. You call the shots. Did they threaten that they will never do an IEP if you don't do what THEY want? It seems to me that you want the one twin to have a nap so he will function decently. And that requires a morning preschool. The twin with the delays sounds more flexible. Are these your only children? Can you live like other people with lots of children and have one in the morning and one in the afternoon? Again, this is your life, you call the shots and you will make a perfect decision. I know it. Good luck!

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V.M.

answers from Erie on

Wow, that is complicated. I actually taught an afternoon preschool and there were always kids who i felt needed the nap more than what they got out of my class, just because they were so sleepy. I can't shed any light on your problem though, could they do ok separated? It sounds like a big pain for you to have two separate places to be, is there a waiting list for AM if you start them both in pm??

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J.W.

answers from Seattle on

They'll adjust. Getting them up a little earlier in the morning, a short nap before they hop on the short bus and when they come home a short nap. You'll be surprised how their energy levels will improve with shorter naps in the am and then when they get home before dinner. I found that it wasn't my kids who needed the nap as much as the adult needed the break from the tiny tornadoes of unlimited energy whirling around the house.
The teachers at these pre-schools are adept at recognizing exhaustion and quiet time does happen to give them a chance to re-charge their batteries.
Try putting them down earlier in the morning, around 10:30-11 for about an hour, get them up for lunch.... wash their faces, pack their backpacks and on the bus they'll go. Then when they come home, have them tell you all about their day at school, quiet time/nap while you're fixing dinner or if they're not tired... play time and after dinner, quiet time to tell Dad all about their day and what they learned in school.
Congrats! on the pre-school placement.

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S.S.

answers from Seattle on

If it's only two days a week, I would go for it. Most kids give up their naps around 3 anyway, whether they need them or not. My first gave up his nap just weeks before my twin boys were born and he was only 2.5! He's still cranky at 3.5 and looks like he needs a nap most days, but I stopped trying a loooong time ago. Even in quiet time he won't nap, so no biggie we just deal with it. I think the crankiness may be an age thing, too. I'm hearing from friends of mine that 3.5 is a whole lot worse than 2.5 for tantrums, mood bursts, etc. It's certainly true for us! Anyway, maybe you could put the cranky one down earlier on nights after preschool?

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N.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

I don't know what to tell you, but let us know if you come up with a brilliant solution. I have been considering going back to work in the fall, but am befuddled at how my child (26 months) will be able to handle full day child care when the naps are generally between an hour and a half and two hours, and he currently takes three hour naps and really, really needs them. I've started to hear lots of stories about friends kids who go to daycare full-time, fall asleep in the car on the way home and need to go to bed by 7ish. Sucks to think of getting to spend absolutely no time with him all week long. Sorry I'm no help. Hope you come up with a great plan!

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K.R.

answers from Spokane on

I wouldn't mess with the nap, you'll probably mess up night time sleeping and get into an unending cycle of tired and crabby - not fun! Keep your "typical" child in the community school and put your IEP son in dev. preschool. They will both have a chance to stretch their "social muscles," learning to navigate friends and teachers without their twin to lean on, and they'll probably be thrilled to see each other and play nicely in the afternoons! Ask the dev. preschool to keep you updated on if a slot for a peer model opens up in the morning and you can chose then to move your son into school with his brother or not. I'm sure the world of twin parenting is difficult to navigate, with all kinds of extra stresses and decisions, but it sounds like you're doing just fine! Just do what is best for each individual son, but try not to make your life so crazy that you can't function as their mommy - good luck!

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