After Divorce-what Did You Do with Last Name and Wedding Ring?

My mother kept her married name until we kids were adults, then she changed it back (never remarried). She got rid of the ring (I think she sold it).

Good luck.

I kept my married name so it can match my son and I think you should save the wedding ring for a time when you need money. That is what I did and I am glad I did.

I kept my married name, so that it is the same as my daughter, and my stepkids and grandkids. It's also short and easy to spell, and I've been known by that name most of my professional career.

I kept my ring in a box. I may give it to my daughter when she's older.

My stepdaughter (26) received her mother's wedding ring as a wedding gift at her marriage last year. Her parents were divorced when she was one year old. She appreciated getting the ring.

i sold the ring after about a year and anything of his left in the house was sold on craigslist or donated to good will.. never had to worry about the last name cause thankfully i never go t around to changing mine to begin with.. best of luck!!!

I got rid of his name and his ring, but we had no kids together.

If I get divorced (a very real possibility/probability) I'm keeping my married name to match my sons. Period. No one can talk me out of it. I went 2 years having a different last name than he did, and I'm not going to repeat it.

LOL... I had to think for a minute about rings. I'm not divorced yet, but I took my rings off a few years ago. At first, for maybe the first year, I wore them to family functions, and then I no longer saw the point. I laughed, because I had to think of what I did with them, and came up blank. Oh yeah. They're in a martini glass above the fridge. That's where those suckers went. If/when I get divorced? Well, we were young and broke. My wedding band is worthless ($50 plain white gold so I could wear it under my nitrile -latex substitute- gloves when working at the hospital and still be *wearing* my ring. Sigh. Miss those days. My engagement ring has diamonds, but they're strawberry seed size diamonds of inferior quality. The one larger (larger by comparison, it's about 1/16th of a carot) diamond has an occulsion that can be seen with the naked eye. When I was madly in love, it didn't matter. I felt like the prettiest woman in the world, wearing stars. But I have to tell you, years down this road, "Diamonds are a girl's best friend" I'm going to imprint upon my son. When he weds, she needs to be given a rock that will see her through a few months of bad times if they divorce.). If/when... I have no idea what I'll do with them. The only thing I know for sure is that I am NOT putting them back on. They represented vows he broke, and a commitment that was as meaningful to him as the rings were expensive. Nope. I'd have to be cold and dead (and therefore have no say) for those *things* to be put back on. Eeew. Icky. Gross. If they were heirlooms, I'd give them to my son or my niece, although not without some trepidation (I'm a tad superstitious).

I'd suggest waiting. Sell them, give them away, leave them to the elements. If there's no rush (like paying rent), why do something you may regret later?

I think things are too raw and it's too soon to really make any decisions.
Why put that pressure on yourself?
You have a million other things to work out.

I kept my married name. At first, I really wanted to change it to feel like I had my own "identity" back, but my identity was still my identity and I actually like my last name. I divorced my husband, not my kids, not my extended family members who still embraced me and consider me part of the family.
My wedding rings? I still have them. Maybe someday I will take the diamonds out and have them put in something for each of my children. I have such tiny fingers I don't expect anyone else to wear them as is. I've even considered having the stones put in a different setting with my kids and grandson's birthstones as a mother's ring.
I've been divorced 14 years and haven't felt the urgency to do any of the above yet.

What you are feeling about things now might change so getting through it should be your first priority because it isn't easy.
The rest can be figured out later.

Just my opinion.

Best wishes.

I don't have experience myself, but my mom kept her last name the same as ours. I liked that. It kind of bothered me when she got remarried and then had a different last name;-) I mean, I understood why, but to me, as a child, it meant something to share the same last name.

As for the wedding ring, I think you don't need to rush. When you're ready to do something with it (if ever), then do it. But right now it sounds like you've been through so much and need to let the emotions settle. Getting rid of it would be really difficult. I think your idea to rest the center stone into something else is a good idea. With my mom, I don't know if she kept it or not. She didn't wear it. But we bought her a special ring. You could get one of those rings with gems for each child or something.

I'm so sorry things are so rough right now. (((hugs)))

If you have kids keep your name the same as theirs. As for the ring, don't make any decision right now, your going through so many different emotions and you don't want to do anything you'll regret later. Put it in a safe place for now and you can decide on it later.

I would've kept the ring had he not taken it while I was sleeping when I told him I was leaving *sigh* lol. I kept the rings he got for my bday and eventually I wore them again just b/c I really liked them. I changed my daughter's name to my maiden name and took my maiden name back... he wasn't a great father after I left him and had nothing to do with our daughter for a year before I changed it (still doesn't have anything to do with her). I kept a couple digital pics of him and put them on my picture usb and put them in a folder marked pictures FOR Kiara (my daughter) so she has some pictures of him. Had I had the wedding ring, I would've kept it. It might have meant something to our daughter one day. My wedding dress is out in the garage in the clear zip up bag in a box (still needs to be cleaned *sigh* doubt cake stains will come out now) in case my daughter wants it for whatever reason or just because it's pretty. I kept all these things out of my sight for some time. When I was healed a lot and not vulnerable anymore, I could look at them and not getting an overwhelming rush of emotions and anger. Don't think I would feel the same if he had cheated on me (sounds like he has?) and was talking to multiple women. Maybe I would do the same thing as I said above and just shred all HIS clothes lmao.

Kinda surprised how many say they don't want their names different from their kids, but the moment they are remarried they will change their name to be different from their kids... strange. We both have my maiden name now, but I will always keep my maiden name to match hers until she's an adult.

I swear I posted this yesterday. S'anyway, the first thing I did after filing was take the ring off and never put it back. As I promised myself it was tossed into the ocean at Dover England, long story there. I rid myself of his name because it is awkward to have questions asked about your exes business. People used to do that a lot!

It really doesn't cause any issues with the kids or their friends. Sure their friends call me Mrs. Ex's name, but so what. I never correct them since it is normal for the kids to call me that. I am fairly sure even remarried they will continue to call me that and my husband will continue to not be bothered by it.

Oh, my diamond anniversary ring I gave to my older daughter.

If it were me, I'm not sure I would want to still have the last name of a man who treated me this way. I don't know the age of your kids, but when the time is right I think you can explain to them why you changed it. As for the ring, I think I would try and sell it.

So sorry you're going through this.

I'm so sorry :( I was engaged once before (forever ago) and kept the ring; I plan on resetting the diamond into a necklace or another ring to give to my daughter either for her sweet 16 or as a graduation gift or something.

Don't do ANYTHING you're not READY in your heart to do.

Best wishes!

I am sorry you are going through all this. Keep the name if it is the same as your kids. It will make life a lot easier and be easier on your kids. As for the ring, 7 years ago I put mine into a safe deposit box thinking that I would reset it or re use it. Haven't done anything with it in that time and now I just want it gone because it seems like a lifetime ago. If you are mad - fling yours off a nice cliff somewhere. If you are sad, put it away and see if you want to do anything with it later. If you are feeling vengeful, sell it, buy something fun with the money or take a trip. No rush to do anything right now though unless you are feeling it!

I kept my married name until I remarried...because of my son's name.

I keep my rings in a keepsake box and will pass to my son...my ring was very small so resetting wasn't really an option.

Exactly what Carrie said.

Keep the name.
Don't make decisions on the ring. No rush. Make the ring transition meaningful.

I have kept my married name. I couldn't imagine having a different last name from my kids, although I would if I remarried. I think it helps them transition. You really want to keep things as stable as possible for them. Any kind of continuity really helps during this time when their world is being rocked. Also, I wasn't keen to revert to my maiden name.
I still have my ring, but I don't wear it. I'm keeping it in case my daughter wants it for some reason. I don't know why some women continue to wear their wedding rings, but on a different finger. I think it looks strange. I don't think it would be heartless to change your ring into something else, if that would help you grieve and move on.
Hang in there. It will get better. Just take one day at a time. You might check out the DivorceCare program at a church near you. It's excellent.
God bless,
L.
http://susannasapron.blogspot.com/

I do not have experience with this but I do have advice. For now, do nothing. It is too fresh and too new for you to be making any decisions. I think that you should keep your married name so it is the same as your children's. This will be hard enough for them. I had a friend who changed her name immediately and her children suffered in school when the kids started asking why their last name was different from their moms. Just get through this emotional time and then make decisions later. As far as the ring, once the divorce is final, I would take it off and put it in a safe place. Don't sell it or get rid of it or give it back to him. Save it for your children someday. My mom saved hers from her divorce and 15 yrs later gave it to my brother and he gave it to his wife. Your children may find it emotionally valuable even though it is hard for you. Take care of yourself b/c your kids need you, take care of your kids. Be strong, be there as much as you possibly can in case your kids need you. You will get through this, it does not seem like it now but you will. I am sorry you are having to deal with this. He is not worth it. Cry as much as you can so you can't cry anymore. Email if you need anyone to talk to.
ps/ WHEN you find love again, you won't want to change your name AGAIN, just keep it as is and worry about the logistics later.

I kept my married name...there was no way I was going back to the name my crazy family has, plus I wanted to match my daughter. My ex-husband and his family were totally fine with it. I still have the rings, Maybe someday I will get the diamond reset into something.

Its too soon to make any of those decisions. Give yourself a year or more. You never know what might happen and youll be glad you didnt make a rash decison too soon. Im sorry its happening to your family.

I kept my last name the same as my daughter's until I remarried. I didn't have a wedding ring, just a wedding band, so I just took it and wore it on my thumb...until I realized the only reason I was keeping it was because I wore it when I went to the bars so guys wouldn't hit on me. (I was in a band; I waited tables; I was a bar tender. I worked in three different bars.) When I quit those jobs, I made the drive to Lake Erie, took the ferry to Kelly's Island and on the way, I chucked it!

It was a liberating feeling!

My mother switched back to her maiden name, until she remarried. My brother and I ( obviously) had my father's last name. When I graduated from High school, my mother made a ring for me using her wedding ring( from my father) and some other gold jewelry.

The name change question was just asked the other day on this blog. Would be worth looking back through it for the responses. In brief, I see it as a personal choice and I chose to keep the name because it also belongs to my kids. I will tackle the name change issue if or when I remarry. My kids are still very young (2,3 & 6) so I am hopeful that it will be something I address before they are adults (because that would mean I met someone and fell in love again) :)

On the ring...I don't feel attached it the engagement ring but I was also the party that decided on the divorce and not him. So I was already "ready" and emotionally detached from some things. However my wedding band was a family heirloom of his mother's. I do not plan to return it however did have it separated from my engagement ring and intend to pass it down to my daughter. I am personally not attached to it but it has a history so I want to at least see if she wants it later (she is 2 now).

Whatever you do, you can always wait and take your time to decide and that is just fine. If you sell it now you may later regret it. If you keep it now, you can always sell it later.

Sorry to hear about your situation and that you are in pain right now. One day at a time, and you will heal at your own pace. Good luck.

D.

My mom kept her ring & had the stone made into something she gave me when I got old enough. If you have a daughter that's my suggestion.. good luck & sorry you have to go through this..

I kept the ring and hyphenated my maiden name and married name. The ring is in the jewerly box. One day if my son is interested I will give him the (beautiful) ring for his true love. If he don't want it I will give it to his daughter or son. When you love someone, and they walk away for selfish reasons it does not change your hear. I have been divorced 10 years, remarried and have more children. I love my husband. I hurt for the young love I had with ex-husband. That has never changed even in the most angry stages of my ex and I's fights.

HI J., I'm so sorry for what you are going through and once you get through the pain, you will be able to move on and find someone that truly loves you.
Anyway, I am divorced and kept my married name, it was solely for my children. I don't feel it's MY last name, but it's just easier to have the same last name as my kids.
I still have my ring, it's been 3 years. Doesn't is suck to have something to pretty that you can't do anything with because it's now a symbol of something that didn't work? I can't decide what to do with it, I can either sell it, pawn it, or truly what I would like to do, is save it for my daugther and have it made into something else, that seems like the best option.
Hope this helps, good luck to you.

My sister changed her name back to her maiden name right away and was saving her ring for her daughter when she turned 16.

My mom kept the ring for the girls when they got older. (Just incase they want the POS). I went back to my maiden name.

How many children? Are there daughters?

Don't do anything hasty until you have had some down time from this man.

How long were you together?

Start slow.

Blessings....

As far as I know, the ring is yours to keep if he initiates the divorce (or tells you to keep it). I'd sell it & if you get married again, it'll be a new ring for a new life w/a new husband. I wouldn't want to have a reminder of a broken heart like that w/me. I'd definitly sell mine if the same were to happen to me...or trade it in for something else, earrings, another type of ring, a necklace perhaps. There's lots you can do w/the ring once you've decided not to keep it. You COULD save it for your daughter (if you have one) or grandchild or son if he gets married....you don't have to necessarily keep it or sell it. As far as last names, it's a tuffy. I'd prob go back to my maiden name, I like it & we have no children so for me, it'd be an easy choice. Good luck.

I had planned to change back to my maiden name but when I brought it up to my kids, their reaction told me they weren't ready. For now, I'm waiting and will change my name later.

My wedding ring was a simple band and I put it in a box with my wedding dress and wedding photo album. I don't want to see any of those things again but my kids might want to so it's stored up in the closet for later.

I took my maiden name back, and I gave the ring back to me ex, as it was his grandmothers first, so I thought it should stay with him/his family.

Personally, I would go back to my maiden name, and then sell the rings. I would take any money from selling the rings and put it in my child's college fund.

I am very sorry for you and your family. I would keep my married name to be the same as my kids. If I ever got remarried...then we would all change our names. As for the ring, it represents a promise that has been broken. I wouldn't want to keep it. But, like Christine W. said, I would reset the ring as either a piece of jewelry for myself or for my daughter.

I am still in proceedings soon to be finalized. I am keeping the rings. From the band, I will have diamond earrings made for our daughter, the earrings he promised and never bought. I will get a pendant made for her as well and present it for her Sweet 16. As for the ring itself, I will save if for rainy day fund pawn money. My last name is hyphenated so I am on the fence because it makes conducting business on behalf of our daughter simple. At some point I hope you can move beyond the "hurt" and focus on "you" just as your husband so easily puts himself first. :o)

I never changed my name...so I didn't have to worry about that. About the ring...I had a pretty nice stone in my set. When I had calmed down a bit I took a pair of pliers and pried the diamond out and had it sent to him, along with a letter. I kept the band. It is too long to explain in detail, but even though it was his shortcomings that caused me to leave, I really did love him and wanted him to know that. From what I understand, now that it is fifteen years later, he still has the stone in a keepsake box at his parents house. And I lost the bands during my travels sometime over the years.

I kept my name for my daughter. My daughter didn't really get to know her dad. He also died when she was 15. I am glad I had decided to keep the rings ( I had 2 sets). When she turned 16 (very responsible for her age or I would have waited until 18 or 21) I gave her both sets of rings which I intended to do anyway but circumstances fast forwarded the timing. She was so happy to have something that meant so much of her dad. She wore them for years ( on the wrong fingers) until she herself got married.

I am changing my name back, so it will be different than my kids. I figure people are going to know im divorced anyways. I never liked his common last name anyways and actually didnt even change my name till we were married for over 2 years.
As for my rings. I still have them put away. I was thinking about just wearing my engagement ring a solitare diamond white gold ring on a different finger on my other hand. I asked this same question on here probably a month ago. You can check there to see all the responses.

My mother kept his name so that she and my sis and I would all have the same name. She thought about changing all of us to her maiden name bc my father's parental rights were terminated but she didn't want to traumatize us I guess. In the end I think it was good to all have the same name, I guess I think that bc that is what my mom did! She was going to pawn the ring she said but somebody stole her purse and so she lost it but she didn't care. But my father had just destroyed every shred of love she had ever had for him, so in your case, you might want to just wait a bit and then decide. I mean I know that Prince William gave Kate his mother's ring even though his parents divorced so there is no right answer. I am so sorry you are going through this, I wish you the best.

I would keep my married name so that I had the same last name as my kids - if I re-married, I wouldn't take their last name until my kids were all grown. Just my opinion.

The ring - you can do with whatever you want - if you want to hold on to it for now, then hold on to it. Later on, you may be hurting for money and you can sell it to help with some bills or some other something......who knows.

This is still new, give it some time and you will be able to make the decisions with a clear mind. So sorry that you are going through this.

I've been divorced five months now, I'm thinking of finally going today to sell my ring. He's left me with so much unpaid debt at the moment that I see no other option really. And although it would be nice to pass it down to my children, why would I want to give them something from a failed marriage? So that's what I'm going to do. Sell it. Just now need to find a place.

After my divorce i kept my married name. More for the kid's sake and I didn't want to have to change everything. As for the wedding ring, I kept it and notified my ex that I planned on keeping it for our son to use, or pawn when he is ready to propose. After a few years my ex has accepted that idea and luckily kept his too so our son will have a full set. I am sorry for your loss. Take care.

Sounds like you have a lot of thinking and healing to do. It's a tough transition. My advice is take it slow. On the divorce papers there is a box to check if you want to change your name and what you want to change it to. However you don't need to do it even if you check it. When I was divorced they pointed out that it just reserves the option so if you decide to down the road - 5 or 10 years even, you don't need to pay to have it changed you just need to bring your papers with to have your Social Security Number and license changed. I kept my married name for the kids but last year (4 years after divorce) decided to change it back. The kids are still young but don't seem to care and I was sick of people mistaking that we were still together and feeling uncomfortable around me because they just thought he was cheating when they saw him out with other women. Besides I was ready for change to make a fresh start. Beware, it seems like no big deal to many people but to me it was big to change my identity and it makes your divorce really public. I was amazed at how many people commented (good and bad) when I finally changed it and I don't think I would have handled it so gracefully right after the divorce. As for the rings, I have just put them back in their boxes and have them hidden. I have both his and mine and we have a girl and a boy so I was thinking that they might be nice graduation rings or set in a necklace or tie pin when they are older. They may not be a symbol of our love for each other anymore but the kids were created when the rings meant something to both of us so it would be fitting and somewhat sentimental. Good Luck!

i haven't been divorced, but when my mom got divorced, she pawned the rings and kept the last name. if it were me, i would sell the rings (unless i thought my son would want them) and keep the last name, so it would be the same as my kids.

First of all, give yourself some time. Don't rush into anything. I eventually took my rings and got cash for them. I took the diamond out of the engagement ring and am saving it for my grandaughter. And I really wish I had taken back my maiden name. Of course my daughter was out of the house and married. I am not sure I would feel the same if I had younger children. I am 3 years past my divorce and really wish now I had taken my maiden name back. I am also still in therapy. I don't know if it gets any better. Good Luck to you and remember, don't rush into anything.

I wasn't married for very long so I think that made my decision easier. i went back to my maiden name. and since my ex has 0 involvement in my daughter's life, I petitioned the court to change her name too so that we do have the same last name.
as for my ring ... I sold it! I thought about having the stones re set into something, but it wasn't cheap so getting money for it was the best option for me. It was a couple years after the divorce that I sold it though so I did hang on to it for a while.
good luck

I'm going back to my Maiden name and I sold my rings; got 200 dollars for all three rings he gave me.