Advice with Bed Time

I wish I could give you a solution - but at least I can empathize! We are presently going through the same crisis. Our 2-year-old used to go to bed beautifully. Then we went on a week's vacation this summer that completely threw off the bedtime routine and we haven't been able to get her back on track. We did the "cry it out" method for over a week and couldn't take it any more - she seemed to get more frantic, stressed and traumatized ("cry it out" was the doctor's advice and he assured us it wouldn't take more than a few nights!). And she would wake frequently during the night. We were up all night listening to her and feeling guilty. So after a few weeks we finally just brought her in our bed, out of desperation and cumulative sleep deprivation. But she tossed and turned and kept us up.
So this is what we are trying now, and it at least seems to be giving us all some sleep (though not perfect). We put her in her own bed in her room at bed time and just sit there until she falls asleep. Then we put a spare twin bed in our room next to our bed and showed her that if she wakes up crying, she can walk into our room and climb in the spare bed. It's working better than other things we tried, but she still throws fits some nights.
I've been researcing this issue on other internet sights too. It seems to be a common problem starting at two. And no one has a good solution! Seems different things work for different kids. All I can figure is that there must be a big developmental leap that their little brains are making around this time that makes them more sensitive, emotionally aware, and susceptible to attachment anxiety, nightmares, etc..
My husband and I also work full time and we have a 6 year old (who is also awakened by all of this). We just felt that the most important thing was to figure out a solution to maximize everyone's sleep so we could all function. The lack of sleep was really turning the 2 year old into a terror during the day too, whereas she usually has an easy disposition when well rested. Therefore, I am disregarding all the "cry it out," "Ferberize," "don't ever let them in your bed," etc. advice and doing what works best for us!
Good luck!

Hello A.,
I found that a bedtime routine helped for me. You make it special just for bedtime. I would let her pick out a bedtime story by laying out 2-3 books for her to choose, I would let her pick out her night time music by doing the same thing. I tried to giver her as much control as possible for a child that age. After reading the story and getting the music going I would tuck her in, say prayers, sing her a song and end it with a happy thought sealed with a hug and a kiss. She will be five soon and we still do this. I worked for us. Maybe it could work for you. Good Luck.

Warmest Regards,
M. C

I also have a 2yr old that just went into a bed. We went through a few nights of something similar. I know what you are going through. Especially hearing them so worked up, and calling for you.

Do you have any idea of why she is doing this? Are there night lights in her room so it isnt too dark? Has she had any major life changes? Going to a daycare for the first time? Anything that might be causing her not to separate from you?

My personal feeling is I dont bring my kids into our bed unless they are sick, nor do I rock them to sleep at this age cause they need to learn how to comfort themselves. In the past when my child would do this, I found it was better off if she was screaming to just stay in the room, just stand there and read a book, or rub her back, but dont pick her up. Eventually she should be able to comfort herself to sleep.

Have you thought about putting her into a bed yet? Maybe the new surroundings might get her on a new mode of sleeping.

I just dont know any more honey, I hope it gets better for you both!!!

Make a big deal out of a transition to a big girl bed and what a big girl she is for going to sleep on her own. get her a twin so you can lay with her for a few minutes. The first night lay with her till she's asleep and then slowly decrease the time. Might work, might backfire! best of luck