Advice on Pacifier Use

My Son is 16 months and is attached to his pacifier. I let him have it because he was teething and it soothed him and his teeth. I decided to take his because he was getting to dependent on it and one of my friends commented that it looked like his teeth may be messing up because of it.I read all kinds of recommondations and so far the one that is working is cutting the tip off the pacifier. I did this one on Monday and when I laid him down for his first nap i gave him the pacifier and the blanket and walked away. He tried to find out what was wrong with it and finally gave up and threw it out of his crib. He cried for about 5 min and fell asleep. The next nap i did the same thing and he didnt even want that pacifier he just threw it out of the crib and cried for about 5 min and went to sleep. Yesterday he had no pacifier at all. at bedtime he has a little trouble and i have been holding him and swaying a couple minutes before i lay him down. So Far so good. My best advise would be to take it now because it only gets worse.

My daughter used a pacifier till she was 2 ( had it on a string on her shirt) at 2 she only used it at night at 3 she said she was done. ( Everyone had kept saying we should take it away but we chose not to ) long story short her teeth are PERFECT and she is almost 7.
There is a saying "dont swet the small stuff" and a pastier at 1yrs old is just fine. Let her have it.

Pacifiers (sucking) is a way for babies to destress and cope. I suggest you her have it -what's a year or two in the scope and range of a life time?

J.,
Don't get rid of it! I have 4 children...3 of them were binki users. My first had his until he was 3. My second also used a binki and I was sick of it so we got rid of it at 13 months. She WAS a great sleeper...until we got rid of the binki and she NEVER took another nap at home again! She also quit sleeping in her bed at night. She started climbing out of the crib and we had to get her a big bed, which she also climbed out of, but at least it was more safe. She is now 10 and still has sleep issues. It may or may not be from the binki, but we never got our sleeper back! My 3rd had his until he was 3 1/2 and we just got rid of it one day. He asked about it, we ignored him and it was forgotten in a few days. We have a 4th that is a thumb sucker, so it is new territory for me!

Good luck!

J.,
Even though my "girls" are grown now...they, too, loved their "binky" - (or "diddy") as they called it. Your baby is not even 1 yr. old yet, & my advice is NOT to rush her! She is still very young & it is a source of security & comfort for her. If she still needs it for naptimes & at bedtime, I say let her have it. I can understand you not wanting her walking around with it in her mouth all day long...but naps & sleepy time are fine! Both of my girls gave it up shortly after they were off their bottles & using sippy cups, between 12-18 months. Both of my girls just happened to misplace the "diddy" one day...& they didn't fuss over the loss of it at all. They were ready to give it up on their own:) If the word "diddy" ever came up in conversation, we just said "diddy all gone" - & that was that! One thing to help reassure you is this - I would rather them need to use a "binky" than their thumbs. Thumbs they have with them the rest of their lives; binkies can disappear, be lost, or just not needed anymore. AND - "binkies" DON'T cause teeth/orthodontic problems, as many times "thumbs" do! Perhaps limiting the times she needs her "binki" to just naps & bedtime, that will help ease her "needing" it all the time. She will let you know when she no longer needs it, & it too will be forgotten about. Good Luck - you are on the right track:)
Mama of 2

I asked my ped about this and was told that it is soothing and to let it go till he's two. Almost everyone I have spoken to says that when they are ready to lose it, they will. One thing I heard which I will probably start doing once we are ready to wean him, is to leave the pacifier in bed so that they know it is only to be used there. The theory is that they will come to recognize it as a bedtime accessory which seems legitimate. My son also has a doggy he can't sleep without, and it doesn't leave his bed. My son is 18mos, and loves it and uses it throughout the day, though when I take it from him he will usually be ok without it, however when he asks he gets it. We are about to have another baby, and weaning him from any comforts right now is not going to happen.

It never leaves the bed, neither does lovie

cut a small hole in the end of her binki and she will end up hating it. She won't want it anymore after a while because she will find out it is "broken" then just tell her that if it's broken all we can do is throw it away, or put it under her pillow at night and the binki fairy will come take it away and leave her a BIG GIRL present. That worked out for my son GREAT!

My son loved his binky until he was almost 3. My dr. said it was normal & not to worry about it. It sounds like you are doing everything right...trying to limit it to only naps & bedtime. We did the same thing, and then told our son the story of the "binky fairy" and when he was ready, we threw all of his binkys out of the window so the "binky fairy" could come and get them to give to other babies...obviously this tactic will only work with an older child that can understand the story. The next morning when he woke up, there was a special note & gift from the "binky fairy". Most kids use them to comfort themselves...I don't think it's any different than a blanket...I think you still have some time before you need to get rid of it. Good luck!

Hi my name is H.,
My daughter was really attached to her binki or sucky, I explained to her the reasons I feel that an extended use of the binki is harmful. Since we were always loosing them I told her that for her health when the last one was gone that was all we could do with it, and hopefully that wouldn't be too awful for her. when we lost the final binki i said "thats all we have," she seemed sad but it was okay. J., do you think you could explain it to her? it may help. Also think of the reasons why you don't want her to have it, are they rational reasons? Are you worried about dependency, mouth or teeth disfigeration, why is it important not have a binki? if its improtant to you its important to her. I don't agree fairy tale approaches to things that hve to do with security. If there are real reasons there are real reasons. it maybe too realistic for a child. I suppose its just advice, right? H.

We weened my daughter off of her binkie around 18 months. Looking back, I waited too long! I read (can't remember where) that the best time to wean them from binki/paci's are around 9-12 months, when they are not "too" attached. From my experience, it only gets tougher from here on out! Finally what we did, we limited it to just naps/nighttime. No exceptions! It stayed in her crib, if she wanted it, she had to go night night. The hardest but most important part, I belive, is you/daycare providers make absolutely NO exceptions (unless of course, she gets sick and really needs massive comfort while this weaning is happening). This will take time, as well as patience. Once my daughter just took it to sleep, we waited a little while and went away for the weekend. We did not bring it! We replaced it with a brand new 'big girl' teether (that had an end to it, where she could really grasp on, in her mouth, like a 'bulb' or 'ball' teether.) This gave her the comfort to put something in her mouth, but not the addictive sucking binkie! ON our trip, we also took a brand new night light that lit her room, with fishes. She was so distracted by the new stuff, it was not until she got home and it took us one full month, of not great sleeping to get her off of it! (with the new teether and fish lamp). My experience is that it will only get more difficult, unless you are willing to wait until she is another year or two older, when I have heard, they get to a point where you can just 'lose' it and its gone. Not sure if this helps! This is not easy, but well worth it. My kid is a great sleeper, we just had one month of trouble but now its worth the 11 hours of peaceful sleep she gets each night!
M.

my brother and sister-in-law had to go cold turkey with their daughter. The first couple of days were rough but she was fine after that.

I would not surprise me if you take it away she will start sucking her thumb. My advice is to try and replace it with a toy at nap time or just wait a while and she may just give it up on her own.

Best of Luck

Dear J., Don't worry about this. My daughter had one and it falls by the wayside when they develop other interests. She's 36 now and I still have the frayed and falling apart remnents of that blanket. It's her security for not having you there. She didn't suck her thumb but played with the fringe -- don't fret. Your child will develop more independence from the day care than other kids who have their moms with them daily. What you think might be a step backwards -- she's taking another forward. She'll start school and it will only become a fond memory. And if she still wants to play with that blanket, then enjoy that she will grow too fast and that time will be gone too soon.

Hi J., I can relate to this issue so much. I have two children and my youngest is 2 1/2. He was a binki lover like your daughter and would do great at day care without it and would even hand it over to her as soon as he got there. She had a no binki rule for 2 years olds and he knew it and adapted while over there. As soon as we'd come home for the night he would cry for it constantly until neither my husband or I could stand it anymore and give in. Can I also add that we have a dog who would cry along with my son whenever he would cry so it just added to the chaos. This went on for quite a few months and we would do really good limiting his binki usuage during the day but as long as we had them around sometimes the stress of life made us weak and would give in. Finally it just came to the point where I had to get brave and take them all away and throw them out and get him to sleep without it. The first couple nights/days were alittle bit of the struggle but each day got better and I was very surprised how much he didn't need it after all and how much more he started talking since he no longer had it in his mouth. I broke my oldest when she was a year old and it was alot easier, I think the older they get the harder it is on them. At the same time do what is right for your family and if you can keep a strong will and only give it to her for nap/night time then I don't think it's going to hurt to do it while she's this young.

J., I have twins (Mya & Michael)...now 14 months old. My son was the world's greatest manipulator when it came to his binky! He would stand UP in his crib at night & say "ma ma" for his binky (even though he had 4 that were in his crib within his reach). He wanted me to get one for him. This would happen at LEAST 3-5 times per night. This may sound mean, but two days after his 12 month birthday mommy was DONE with the binky! Michael cried the ENTIRE night the 1st night without it. Three quarters of the night, the next night. Half the night the following night. But then he began to wake up about 5 times or less over the next few nights. I will admit he sucked on his fingers for about a week after we took it COMPLETELY AWAY! But it has been the BEST thing we have ever done. Everyone in the house is finally happy. Michael doesn't miss his binky one bit!!! In fact, I think he is better not to need the security of it. My advice is to go COLD TURKEY! Good luck!

Hello there,

My advice, a little bit after she turns one....get rid of them all. You can make a big production like super nanny does (with the paci fairy and fairy dust). When my son was a few weeks past his 1st bday (he was the same as your daughter with his pacifier) we were at Navy Pier and he threw his pacifier, as he normally did. Except this time we couldn't find it.

I was going to rush to the store later that day, but then I remembered the doctor urging me to get rid of them and I decided not to buy more. The one he threw was our last one. He cried for two weeks, but then was fine. I'm glad it happened that way. I have an 8 month old who is also attatched to his pacifier and at one year I will take away the paci and the bottle.

I see it like this, just get it over with. The sooner the better. Why make it harder by letting the child keep it for 3, 4 years????? And it's not good for their teeth. Anywho, to each his own. Hope I encouraged you to do it sooner than later.

M.

My brother used a pacifier until he was 5! That is because my parents said that "he will give it up when he is ready" If it were me, I would just take it away and put up with the screaming for a few days. Comfort them and hug them when they want it.....

I don't see anything wrong with it. A lot of people say by age 1 you should have your baby off of pacifiers and bottles. I don't agree at all. If it's comforting for her, then what's the harm? My daughter had a pacifier for LONG time, nearly 5 years old. Although she stopped using it in public and during the day (pretty much) by preschool, she still needed it to fall asleep at naptime and at night. Now, she's 6.5 and fine. She's losing baby teeth and her big teeth are coming in fine...some people say pacifier use will harm your child's teeth but that hasn't been the case with us!

My soon-to-be three year old daughter also loves her binki. My son did too, but I have never seen more of a love than she displays for hers!! I misplaced it once and she literally cried for hours and couldn't sleep....so bad that I bought her a new one. She goes to daycare with it, church, etc. Within the past year, I have started weening her from it, no longer allowing her to take it into stores or church. What worked for her is to "humanize" it. For instance, I will say, (to the binki) "Binki, you take a nap while we go into the store. Say bye-bye to binki. We'll be back soon." Anyway, this has worked wonderfully and is getting better. I just see it as a comfort to her, being in daycare all day and she is somewhat shy anyway. I would encourage you to not push too hard but maybe start talking about since she is becomming a "big girl", maybe a small part of binki can go in her pocket (cut off a small piece of it and let her choose what part). I've heard this works and I plan on doing it this summer when I am home more. This way, she can get it out if she feels she needs it, but doesn't necessarily need to carry around the whole thing. hope this helps, just know you aren't alone in the whole binki business! :)

My son still uses it at 24 months but only gets it during sleep times. Once he started talking and babbling a lot I didn't let him have it during the day (unless he was sick or had bad teething). Just slowly take it away for certain periods of the day. Eventually she will learn that she can only have it for naps, car rides, and night time (or whatever times you decide). This slow process will help to wean it down so when the time comes to take it away it won't be so hard. Also the worse thing in the world is listening to a toddler talk with a paci in their mouth, argh!!

My daughter is 3 1/2 years old and only uses her binky at night to go to sleep. I only ever gave it to her when she was a baby and really needed it, so she has always known that it is for naptimes and sleep time at night. She has even up her nap, because she is older now, but when she gets tired in the middle of the day and lays on the couch to read books or have "down time" I still refuse to give it to her and say it is only for bedtime. She is okay with this, because this is how she has always done it. It is her comfort to go to sleep. She starts with it in her mouth and is asleep with it almost instantly because it comforts her. however, once she is asleep she hardly uses it the rest of the night. In the morning, she has a "binky basket" she puts it in and she is not allowed to have it until after our bedtime rountine and she is actually in bed and all covered up and ready to turn out the light. From my own personal experience, I was a thumb sucker until 4th grade (obviously secretly at night though or when I thought other were not looking!! :)-but not in public though- my mom encouraged me to do that at home and at bedtime!) and I think a binky is much easier to have control over. Just think- your daughter will not be 10 years old with a binky in her mouth or not be going to preschool and have to have her binky with her or go to college and still need her binky. It is her comfort and in my opinion I would just let her have it until she is ready to give it up herself. She is still a baby and is so young and I believe that it is completely appropriate to allow her to have it, especially for naps, bedtimes, when she is sick or when she falls/hurts herself and needs that comfort that she clearly has with her binky. But it is hard to get to the point of using it only for rest-time. Maybe you can make a "binky basket" like I did and tell her "only for naps, bedtimes, and when she is sick or "downtime-like reading books" It worked for my daugheter, even at a little over a year old, because she got smart and started wanting it all the time. but if you follow through religously, it should minimize her asking for it, hopefully! Good luck!!!!

My second child loved hers. We put our foot down when it came to daytime use. My husband was the bad guy in this one....mommy was too soft. Her father just told her it was not for daytime...only night-night.

At two he read that dentists say to get rid of it by two. So we started talking to her about being a big girl...eventually a neighbor talked her into throwing it away. She whined a little about it for a few days but we just kept reminding her that she threw it away.

My brother-in-law cut a tiny hole in the tip of his sons and when little man asked about it, they talked about how it was broken and then threw it away. That was the end of that.

If I ever have to deal with a pacifier again, I think I will try that technique.

As a licensed home daycare provider for 26 years and a mother of 5, ages 31,25,21,14,&8. I have had a lot of experience in weening babies from their pacifiers. In most cases it's really the adults the pacifier is for. They have made it a happy of giving it to their children at nap time and at night. This is not good at all. Try putting them down without it at all and be persistant each day. It works. Some may whine a little that first day or so but they soon get the message and fall asleep without it. It also worked for me with one of my own by having them to throw it in the garbage themselves, encourage them that it's for babies & they are a big girl or boy now. Also make sure it's on a garbage pickup day so they can see the garbage man pick it up. Then when they ask for it again remind them that they threw it in the garbage and the truck took it away. Always offer them something else in place of the pacifier like a sippy cup or other choice items. Wish you the best.

Try giving her a teddy bear or blanket for her comforting. My daughter will be 2 in May and I could not allow her to turn 2 still on her paci. So a few months ago, I think the end of Jan. or begining of Feb. I started weaning her off of it little by little. And then there were times that she lost it and i had to buy another one and she did it some time in Feb. and I just took her off it all together.