Advice on My Family Childcare Situation

As a daycare provider myself here is my input. It is sooooooo hard to find a reliable, dependable and nurturing person who not only has experience but passes all the background checks and fingerprinting. I am a 14 capacity daycare and my mother was my assistant for 3 years. Unfortunately at some point her back and joints were just not allowing her to help with the kids. She asked if I could find a assistant and she would help in emergency cases. It took forever but I found a wonderful hispanic woman who was wonderful with the kids. She spoke little english and after a while many of my 3 year olds understood and spoke spanish along with there english. Unfortunatly when the bus strike happen I had to let her go because she came from L.A. via bus which was her only form of transportation. I do want to say that when I brought in a new child I introduced my assistant to all my parents. If I was not able to introduce the assistant at that time I did explain in full detail about my assistant. In my daycare I have a picture of my assistant with a little paragraph under her picture with some information about her. This way everyone is familiar with her. Your daycare provider should explain the procedure to new clients if she is away the assistant will be there and to explain she speaks little or no english. That way you have the choice to continue putting your child in that daycare or look elsewhere. I would say that just because she speaks no english is not something to pull your child out of daycare. So many people now a days are bilingual that if there was an emergency I am sure she would be able to communicate.

Now on the other hand I would be concerned that she did not communicate the assistant situation with you. If I showed up to my daycare and found a woman I did not know who could not talk to me, that would be a serious issue. Also the sleeping situation....the child does need a consistant spot to sleep everyday. It does take a week or so for both the provider and the baby to adjust to each other and to get into the groove of the schedule of the daycare. I have had infants come into my daycare and the moms say they sleep 2 hours. In the beginning sometimes they are off schedule sleeping and eating, but after a week or so they should be either back to normal or adjusted to the daycare schedule.

I would have one more serious talk with her and tell her your child needs one spot to sleep and you want to see it. Also tell her if there is anything else you need to know so there are no more surprises. If another surprise comes up again that is important I would pull your child.

M.

Hi, I am C.. I am a mom of three year old and three month old boys. My oldest has been in daycare before. After reading your story I would agree with you. If that were my child I would be just as upset as you are. I would maybe pull him out and find another day care or like you said find someone that is willing to come to your home. I am actyually looking for a nanny position that would allow me to stay with my kids. Well let me know how things turn out and contact me if you need help.

As a mom that has ran her own in home childcare, you are not over-reacting at all. If the child is going there, maybe she should allow him to find a comfy place for him to rest at nap time, but he should not be here and there or everywere. Also, the whole assistant thing, I would be very concerned, she is leaving your children with a non-english speaking person, ummm... what will she do if there is any kind of emergency with these children?? I for one, would look into a different place. There maybe other issues at hand, and since your son is so young he is not able to communicate those with you. But you should follow your instincts on this one, momma always knows best!!

Think about all those mother who do not have the choices and ability to make changes because they are concerned. You are a bit more fortunate that the majority which is probably the saddest, there are just to many things that happen in this world even when a parents best intention is set forth. You my dear, have the right, responsibility and a choice, and you cannot over react when it comes to making sure your child is receiving the care you know he deserves. Because you do have this choice, don't sit on it and wonder about your gut instinct, instinct only works if you act on it and you should not worry about how another person may feel, over reacting or not, that is your choice and yours alone. Because you are fortunate enough to have that option, then do so, there are alot of good caregivers out there, and there are alot of bad, when it comes to caring for our loved ones, of course we want the best. Not all of us have the kind of choices that are available and because you do, then do so.....You have to be away from him, at least be comfortable when you are.....

If it really bothers you, in your gut, and you have tried to correct and improve the standard of care for your child... and it is still not satisfactory, then you can find another care provider. The bottom line is also "trust." If you are not sure you can trust the level of her care and the "assistants".. then look around. I know many Moms who have a Nanny to help and they like this arrangement. Then your child will be one-on-one with the same caretaker... and you can "control" the situation more and your child's "routines."
Good luck,
~Susan
www.cafepress.com/littlegoogoo

GO GO GO!!! The one thing that I have learned is that your instincts are never to be ignored… you should find another place to take your son. Consistency and routine are crucial – especially now- and if you notice such a huge difference from when he’s with you and with her, then there is something wrong.

Hallo A.,

I am both a mother and a professional childcare provider who has an inhome daycare. You are not reacting at all!! Firstly, by law every child (especially an infant) needs to have their own assigned sleeping area and it should remain the same all the time. In my daycare each infant and toddler has their own crib. When they outgrow the crib, they have their own mattress. Sleeping in the same spot gives a child a sense of security and continuity, which is very important to their development.
As for leaving your child in the care of her assisstant - she should have called you before leaving the house to let you know what to expect when you picked up your son. The complete lack of communication is just not acceptable. As a mother, I also would have expected a call at the end of the day, if anything, just to give you some peace of mind about your child's day.
I always tell the mothers in my daycare that your gut instinct is the best thing to go on. For centuries mothers have relied on their inner voice. Listen to yours. Remove your child if you are not 100% happy. Please contact me if you would like some help in finding alternate care. I am the Support Group Leader for the S.D Family Childcare Association, and am thus very well networked. Don't be concerned that I may know the provider of whom you speak. I have heard it all!
You can actually find my bio on this site. My businss is called Play and Learn Daycare.

Take care,
P. Smith

i work at one of these home daycares. And i can tell you that this sounds commonplace. if i were you id get a nanny. not that these places arent good, but, in my experience, the infants dont get that attention i think they deserve.when they are over a year they do much better. but at that age part of the problem is all the devided attention. we have 4 babies and ill tell you we should have half that. it is also hard because they art trying to get kids on the same sleeping schedule which is almost impossible with that age. ive talked to people that work at other home daycares and they have similar stories. now i cant tell you about your provider i am just sayinn that at that age they are probably better off with some one on one.