My partner and I are recently separated, and I am wondering how much is reasonable to ask for in child support for my three year old daughter. My bills (mortgage, health care etc) total about $4K per month, out of which her part time day care is $700. I can only work part time unless she starts going to day care full time and am right now barely able to make ends meet. I feel like her dad does not make working and financial planning a priority, and needs to take some responsibility here.
Has anyone been in a similar situation, and what do you feel is a reasonable amount? I would prefer to try to handle it without any lawyers and that type of thing unless it is absolutely necessary.
Thank you everyone for sharing all of the helpful information, personal experiences, and links. I now have a better idea of how much to ask for, hopefully we can discuss it and come up with a solution without using the system, but at least I know it's there if I need it. Thanks again!
If I were you I would get it in writing and legal. The reason is that if it isn't and he decides to not help finacially you have no way of recovery. Plus getting a 3rd non-biased party involved helps make it the most fair and equal for both of you.
Lisa,
There are two things to consider in this situation.
1.What are the expenses that you have based solely on your daughter?
2.What is a reasonable amount that your ex can afford?
Hopefully you can come up with a figure that answers both questions. If not, it is time for some looking into down-sizing your budget.
You can get blood from a turnip and you can't get money from someone that doesn't have it to give.
With my whole heart, C.
First you have to have lawyers involved, for your protection, and your daughters. It doesn't have to be ugly and it can be expensive if he chooses to fight, but to be protected that is the best way. It isn't fun but her father is very much responsible for her quality of life and well being. Why should you have to struggle?
If you want to hope he will come around and just follow a verbal agreement you can end up very frustrated. It isn't mean just getting it in writing nor does it have to be a battle, just explain to him this stuff needs to get worked out and on paper so everyone is clear. You can go through mediation which is a LOT LESS expensive but you both have to be able to sit down and agree to things. Being her father he may realize how expensive daily life is with a child and work with you not against you. If you have it in writing then at all times you know where he has to be held accountable. Family law will iron out child support and visitation and they do it for the child, not the parents.
If he doesn't have a job, a lawyer will give him a set amount of time to get gainfully employed at that time he will take your income and her dad's income and the montly expenses and figure it up what if fair. You can get scholarships for preschool if you qualify (in Colorado they have to be four I believe). Same with most daycare systems, call your city and state offices. That way you can go back to work fulltime if you qualify for fulltime daycare. I know you probably don't want her to be in daycare all day, I totally understand that.
I know it is hard, believe me I am trying to raise two kids and have WAY too large of a mtg payment not to mention I know how expensive daycare is. I don't qualify yet because my ex makes too much money and our settlement with marital support, hence he had to really step up and pay me until my son got to Kindergarten next year. Now I will be able to go back to work fulltime in the fall.
Hugs!
Most states have child support calculators too, look it up under family law. That way you can determine what the state will on what is fair.
I'm sorry your family is going through this. Your best bet would be to go to your local child support enforcement agency. They will set up the child support payments based on what he owes, you will get a court order that says he has to pay it, and the will garnish his wages. This will help because the courts decide what he owes- he will also be responsible for half of her daycare costs. Good luck.
Here's an easy-to-use online Colorado child support calculator. I'd say it's reasonable to use the tool lawyers use.
You should be able to look up a child support calculator on line. The ORS website usually has one.
this is an online calculator the state uses for figuring out how much child support should be issued. I have found it is rather accurate. Hope it helps! If still not sure contact Office of Recovery Services http://www.utcourts.gov/childsupport/calculator
You can run a child support guideline worksheet off of the Colorado Judicial website and determine the presumptive amount of child support under Colorado law. You will need to input your monthly gross income, the father's, any daycare expenses for your child, health insurance expenses for your child and information on whether you or the father have other children or child support orders. You can also apply with your local county office for child support enforcement services for a $20 fee.
Lisa,
If you go to www.courts.state.co.us you can go to the reports tab and actually fill out the childsupport worksheet. This is what the courts would determine he would pay for child support, based on incomes and parenting time. Best of luck I am currently in the same boat, husband and I are getting a divorce, his choice not mine.
When I filed for divorce, I went to our county website. They had all of the forms online, including a worksheet for child support. It was basically an excell spreadsheet, you plug in incomes and certain expenses, and it calculates a target child support amount. I highly recommend doing this, and coming to agreement ahead of time if you can. My entire divorce and issues with the children was worked out between the two of us, then we just showed up in court and had it finalized. Good luck!
Hey Lisa,
I dont know how Colorado does it but in Montana they go off wages earned and expenses. I had an agreement for 375.00 a month for my son and the court came back and said he owes me 641.00 a month. I would find out what an attorney in your area thinks.
Good luck
J.
Call your local recovery services office they will send you all the paperwork and then figure out an amount and then it will be garnished from his paycheck then they send it to you. It makes it much easier if he is not paying you directly cuz then there is always excuses of why he can't this way it is automatic so you know you will get it every month.
Hi, my name is brittany. I live in Idaho, so I don't know what your state laws are. I am sure that you have already received responses, but I'll just tell you what I know. I was divorced almost two years ago. Most child support is based on a formula of amount of hours money that you and your ex make. It has nothing to do with what you think you deserve or what he deserves.
Also, I actually make enough to live on my own with out child support. We split every thing 50/50, but I have started setting the money away for a college fund. So, even if you don't use it your child will.
Hope that is helpful . Good luck!
Lisa,
When I got divorced in 2001, the Judge said 20% of ex-husbands income. That was in Alaska and I do know that states vary but that would be a general guideline to start with.
Also, I would say if you think he is not dependable to send you the money, go through Child Support Services.
S.
I think in the long run you will be much happier and you will both have a much more better relationship if you go through your state's child support services. I know you will not get as much as you would like but child support is for the child. It is not for the parent to live in the comfort that they are accustom to. This may mean that you get a roommate to help with the mortgage and utilities. One of the other posters is right you can't get blood from a turnip and you can't get child support from a dead beat dad so be thankful that your ex is willing to help out at all. I haven't seen a penny of court ordered support in nearly 9 years.
As per state law in Idaho(not sure if you are here) child support is taken out of the paycheck automatically it ranges between 25% and 50% of the total income(depends on how many kids are out there) if he only has one then you would get a higher amount. Department of Health and Welfare are the ones with the answers on how to have the money taken out of his check. And no lawyers are needed to have the money taken out, you don't even have to be separtated to have it taken out. Good Luck
You need to go to your county website and get the financial affidavit and plug in the #'s on line and it will tell you if you went to court how much he would be ordered to pay. Unfortunately it isn't what we think they should pay it is all a system. So before you go to him and ask for anything you should figure it out what you would be looking at if you went to court and negotiate from there. You also need to see if he will be responsible for 1/2 of medical bills, extracurricular activities or more as those things are not worked into the calculation unless your child has special needs but again you can find it all on line.
