Advice on Cancer..

Updated on January 10, 2007
J.F. asks from East Moline, IL
7 answers

I have a aunt that is dealing with having cancer. She had the cancer removed and the doctor is making her do kemo now. When she is having a bad day i really don't know what to say to her. So, i am asking.. What kind of nice and sweet and good things to say to her to keep her from getting down. She has lost all her hair and sick a lot. The cancer she had was stage 3 cancer which the doctor's told her that people with that kind of cancer they only give them 5 years to live. I am not ready to face that right now with her being my FAV. aunt ..

So, please help in any ways you can..

Thanks Again,
J. F.
Iowa

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So What Happened?

So far my aunt is doing pretty good. She goes in next week for kemo again then she only has 2 more to do after that. The doctor's think its gone and said she should be good for at least 5 years if not more. They said it can come back but they will keep a close eye on her to make sure they are on top of it next time. So, that's good.

I'll post more when i have more to do. Thanks everyone again!!

More Answers

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L.S.

answers from Missoula on

Hi Jamie,
I am so sorry to hear about your aunt. It is very hard to watch people who are terminally Ill. My father died of Cancer. My advice for you is that you bring her close to God so she can find the faith in him to help with the transition on them days. I know it is hard to lean on him when things like this are happening but I sure wish I was walking with him when my father died. It may not have made losing him any easier but it would have made a difference on how I handled it.

My prayers are with you and the rest of the family for Strength.

God Bless
L.
Email me anytime Jamie if you just need to talk
[email protected]____.com

1 mom found this helpful
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K.

answers from Dubuque on

Hi J.,

A few years ago my mother had a breast removed due to cancer. She too had to go through chemo, lost her hair, had bad days. I think nice and sweet things are not always an option. Sometimes just knowing that she can beat this awful thing is what comforts most. If you can talk her through this day, and tell her that she'll have better days, that this is only temporary, the nasty treatment has an end, and better things are to come, an you'll be there for her will be enough for the moment. Don't be scared away.

Talking to others that have survived cancer seemed to help a great deal with her too. A support group is recommended.

Deep Peace,
K.

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S.P.

answers from Lincoln on

I'm so sorry to about your aunt. I wish you and your family all the support and prayers they can handle. It's a very hard thing to go through.

My fav uncle currently has colon cancer. They are giving him about another year or so. I have found that the one thing that seems to have helped him is he and I have started a scrapbook together of memories that mean something to him. There are alot of childhood pics along with some pages that are just written memories. I have found (at least with him) that talking about memories and such seems to brighten him a little. All you can do is take it day by day and be there for them. There is a site with other suggestions that have worked with us. I'll see if I can find it and get back to you.

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J.U.

answers from Waterloo on

J.,
Cancer is such a hard thing, it has been 2yrs now since I lost my mom to it. I think just being there with her watching movies or tv and talking about everyday stuff helps. My mom liked to go on car rides, look at recipe books, and she loved people to do her nails. Does your aunt have a hobby you could do together? If she is feeling bad about losing her hair what about colorful scarves or fun hats? You don't have to talk about what is going on with her, but you can let her know that you are there anytime she needs to talk. If you see she is down you can ask if she needs to talk, but if she says she doesn't want to i wouldn't push the issue. I hope this was somewhat helpful for you.

Jen

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A.B.

answers from Lincoln on

Jamie
I just went through the same thing with my aunt last year! She had breast cancer and had to have one removed as well as the kemo! We were all very open with her and asked the questions and that made her feel like we really cared and that we wanted to be a part of this with her. Make sure that you don't treat your aunt any different. But on the other hand be honest with her and tell her the things that you want her to know. It was so great with my aunt because she shared the enitre process with us.
The most important thing is to not treat her any different!
My heart goes out to you and your family. If you need to talk you can email me.
A.

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A.G.

answers from Great Falls on

My mother recently battled stage 3 breast cancer. She too lost all off her hair, and went through Chemo. My mother always had really long hair... and the day we cut it (To help make it so it wouldn't be so devistating when it started falling out)was such a sad day for her. She had lost a breast and her hair... she felt like she lost her "womanly appeal". She is a christian, and had faith that God would get her through, but there were days when the chemo make her so sick, and she just wanted to quit. There were many times that she prayed that she would die. I never knew what the "right" thing to say was... but my sisters and I just went on treating her like "mom". No different. She was sick. But just being there for her and loving her was enough. Make your aunt a little coupon book, with foot rubs, bubble baths, etc. in there. Then she can pick what she is needing at that time, and you can do it for her. Cancer is terrible. I lost my Grandma to ovarian cancer this past March. It was rapid... and I have felt such a tremendous loss. Don't look at your aunt and think,"She could die"... look at her and think "She could LIVE". If you need anything else, let me know. I hope this helped... I don't think I gave you what you were looking for... but I have been where you are, twice... once turned out sad, and one (My mom) turned out great.

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C.M.

answers from Sioux City on

I'm really sorry to hear about the pain and suffering your family is going through. I would just recommend being there for her when she needs a shoulder to cry on, and also an ear to scream into. I dont know what else to tell you, other than be strong for her and be there for her. Make your time with her rememberable. Good luck to you, and your family... if you need a person to talk to, feel free to email me back. I have lost a cousin, and then his father a year later from lung cancer. My grandmother had cancer, and they got it in time. And my grandfather had cancer and now has a bag to use the bathroom because it was that kind. anyway, so I have been through some of the same things you are going through, not that, that helps. but I do some what understand..
good luck, once again. chris

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