Advice on Attending My Brother's Destination Wedding

Updated on February 14, 2008
K.A. asks from Royersford, PA
4 answers

Help! My younger brother is getting married in the Bahamas this June at a Couples Only resort (Sandals). The resort DOES NOT allow children, so my 2 year old daughter would not be able to attend the wedding ceremony(yes, I already verified it with them). My husband and I decided (for many reasons!) that he would stay home with our daughter if I chose to attend the wedding. If I choose to attend- I would have to travel alone, and stay at a different hotel as the rest of my family since most of them would stay at Sandals. The kicker is 1 week later my brother is having a formal Reception in Philadelphia for everyone that attended the wedding plus those who were not able to make it to the Bahamas.

I feel like I SHOULD be at the wedding ceremony. He is my only sibling and our family is quite small. On the other hand, it is very difficult logistically, and very expensive for me to attend ($700 min. just for air/hotel). Has anyone not attending a sibling's wedding? If you did not attend, was there remorse afterward? He and I are not very close, but for the most part we have a good relationship.

We have talked about these issues (not just regarding me, but for other friends/family attending) but as time goes on, he keeps finding out more rules, restrictions and fees that this resort has. The big problem is they didn't look into anything before they paid a ridiculous deposit, and are now stuck. It's "what they want to do" which is great for them, but I feel that if they really wanted family/friends to attend a destination wedding, they should have picked somewhere...ANYWHERE but Sandals...that would allow some flexibility for their guests. Even Sandals told me that they should have booked at their Beaches property for a "family friendly wedding".

I'm also planning the bridal shower for my future sister in law, and am helping out with their reception.

Thanks so much!

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answers from Philadelphia on

My advice is to attend the wedding! Yes, it is difficult logistically and yes, it will be expensive, but he is your brother! I am still annoyed that 5 years ago I didnt attend a cousins wedding in Las Vegas because my daughter was 6 weeks old and I was nursing! I kept trying to think of an angle of how I could swing it! I do understand about not being able to stay at everyone else a "couple"? I guess I cant imagine them not making any exceptions! I just think you might regret not being at the two cents! Good luck!



answers from Philadelphia on

I don't really have an opinion, but I think you have to be a guest at Sandals in order to get onto the resort.

My cousin is also getting married at Sandals but in Jamica and we were told we had to stay at the resort in order to attend the wedding. I am not going...



answers from Philadelphia on

i can only tell you that i got married on turks and caicos and eloped...the only thing missing was my family which i regret not having sister lived in the bahamas for years i may be able to help you find a cheap one says your husband and baby cant come and just not attend the wedding..still could make a long weekend out of it



answers from Philadelphia on

I come from a rather nice size family. I am the youngest of 4 children and my oldest didn't come to my wedding. No call or even a card. I was upset but figured what ever. My third brother has been planning to get married and he wants something close and his girlfriend wants something far away.

Any way..My mom and I look at it this way. Not eveyone would beable to fly anywhere for a wedding. I belive if you let your brother know that you would love to be there, but do to finacle concerns that you will not be able to fly out, But that you are looking forward to the gathering back here in Phila. Be honest. IT is not fare that you have to live your family back home when it would be more fun for all of you to go. Sometimes a far away wedding could be a mini vac. But no kids counts down on how many people can come to them.

Best of luck!! Just be honest.

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