Advice on 2Nd Baby Shower - Coppell,TX

Updated on January 22, 2010
M.H. asks from Coppell, TX
21 answers

I am needing advice about having a baby shower(s) for my 2nd baby. My DH and I have a daughter that is 3 1/2 and are pregnant with our first boy. We got married only 5 mos. before our daughter was born so my mom and sister threw me a shower for her that was pretty low key becuase we didn't want people to feel like we were asking too much since we had just gotten married. Well, now, 3 1/2 years later, several of my friends have gotten married that I have given showers too, including one who is getting married the month after my son is born and my daughter and I are both in the wedding and I'm giving her a bridal shower. Well, my mom and sister want to give me another shower since this one is a boy and my husband and I have pretty large families that would like to come to a shower for us and want me to register so they know what to get us. Also, my friend who's wedding I'm in has offered to throw me a shower- she originally suggested a "couples" type shower. Well, when I told her that my mom also wants to do something, she is now giving me the "you know it's your second baby" line and another friend has said she doesn't think it's "proper" to have a baby shower for the second or to register for your second baby. I'm getting confused and just wanted some other mothers opinions. I'm sure this is just like everything else involving pregnancy and babies where everyone has an opinion and likes to give it to you, but any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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W.H.

answers from Dallas on

I think a Baby Sprinkle is most appropriate for second, third, etc births. Most of the gifts are going to be more practical as the assumption is you already have the items you can use from past children (strollers, swings, etc). Most people don't register for Sprinkles they just list the essentials: bottles, diapers, wipes, gift cards, etc. I personally would feel greedy having showers for each child but to each their own. To be honest, everytime I attend a shower for someone and its a second, third, etc child I am amazed at all the "Stuff" they register for instead of just the essentials.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

OK--I guess I'm the first responder to think a second baby shower is inappropriate. And in poor taste. It's like asking for gifts. Your close friends and family are probably going to buy you stuff for the baby anyway. After the baby is born have a "meet the baby" party/open house so everyone can come, have some food/drinks and meet the baby! Congrats to you on your second!

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J.E.

answers from Dallas on

First of all the whole PROPER thing is ridiculous!!! If your friend is a real friend then she'll want to celebrate this blessing with you. I have 2 children, a girl and boy, and if your anything like me I had NOTHING left from my daugther that wasn't GIRLY. There was no way I would use girly clothes on a little boy. Each child is a blessing and each deserves a celebration. I actually had multiple showers for each baby. If your mom and sister want to throw you a shower and you have a large family then they can throw a shower just for the family. If your friend gets her act together and still wants to throw you a shower then she can throw a "friends or couples" shower. My 2 cents......... Hope it all works out and congrats on your upcoming blessing.

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L.R.

answers from Dallas on

I had my second child ten months ago. I have two girls. I wasn't necessarily interested in having a shower with my second child and was like you - worried that it was not proper. Well, my friends and family prevailed. My cousin threw me a shower and told everyone that I didn't need clothes since I was having a second girl. My girlfriends, because they can't resist the cute clothes, bought some anyway. Most of what they bought were diapers and wipes. They also each made a casserole, which we froze and ate them when I came home from the hospital. That was absolutely wonderful!

Our church also wanted to do something for us. They had a "diaper pounding" and anyone that wanted to bought us diapers. That was as great as the casseroles! I don't think we bought diapers for her until she was over six months old. It was great! When we finished a package of diapers, we just went in the cabinet and got another package out. I loved it! We live out in the country and if we run out of something, it's a trip to town. Having all those diapers was a blessing one night when we realized we had used our last diaper. :-)

Some people may not want to participate because they don't think it is "proper." That's fine for them. If your friend feels that way, she can do casseroles and a diaper pounding for you and your husband. The couples shower idea is great; it lets your husband be a part of the fun and gift-giving before the baby comes.

Let your family and friends celebrate your new blessing. You enjoy the celebration and don't feel a bit guilty about it!

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K.P.

answers from Tampa on

I am having my second baby shower this weekend. My first is almost 4 and there are some things we just didn't keep. Maybe they can do something together, help each other. I love a couples shower, you can have it like a cookout or somethings, that way while the girls are doing the girlie thing the guys can be cooking out. I has coed my first one and this one is just the girls. Plus your babies are not the same sex so you will need different things for the boy. I say go for it don't over think it, if you invite someone and they don't come, it is there lost not yours. congradulations

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J.T.

answers from Dallas on

The key point here is that YOU are not throwing yourself another shower--someone else (family or whomever) is wanting to throw one FOR you and your new baby. If someone wants to throw you a shower, then you should let her. I think registering for gifts is simply a way to inform people of what you'd like to receive if they are wanting to know. Registering does not mean you are expecting anything.

Enjoy your new addition!

M.C.

answers from Dallas on

It is fine to have a shower for your "babies"! I had three! it especially helps if you have a different gender baby so you don't have to buy ALL girl clothes or ALL boy clothes. Showers are to help out the parents. There is nothing wrong with baby showers. My sisterinlaw gave me a "baby sprinkle" shower. Nothing huge, but just a gathering with finger foods and gifts. Very nice, it helped us especially since she was a "surprise"!!!

enjoy it, it is your shower not theirs.

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

I feel a large baby shower where you register for gifts is for your first baby only. My friends gave me a small shower with cake and diapers at our monthly dinner club meeting with my second. I think something like that is more appropriate. In today's economy, it is especially hard for some who would feel obligated to buy a nice gift or help with the shower and who really can't afford it.

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S.K.

answers from Seattle on

Looks like I am in the minority, but I don't think it's appropriate to have more than one shower. I agree with the other poster who said it's like you're asking for gifts. I don't mean to say that each baby is not worth celebrating, of course they are! And of course every person and family is different, so go with your gut. Just for me, I wouldn't do it. I would feel bad for all my friends and family who had more than one child but didn't have as many showers..i'd feel like I owed them something somehow. Regardless, congratulations and good luck!!

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S.H.

answers from Huntsville on

I've heard mixed opinions on whether you are "supposed" to have a 2nd baby shower. I've heard that it's "ok" if the 2nd baby is a different gender, as in your case.

In my opinion, if someone wants to give you a shower, then by all means you should have a shower! Especially since you are having a boy this time, and about 4 years apart. I think the idea of only having one shower and not a 2nd is because you should already have all the baby stuff from the first baby. Well we've sold all of our stuff!! haha

I don't think that what was "proper" years ago is necessarily the same that is "proper" now. If your mom & friend want to give you two showers, I don't see a problem with it! Run off to Babies R Us and start registering!! lol

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J.M.

answers from Dallas on

a new baby is something to celebrate. forget about the negative people with their negative thoughts. who ever said u can only have one baby shower, people get married 2 and 3 times and they celebrate it. go with your heart and celebrate that new baby!!!!!

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J.F.

answers from Rochester on

If someone wants to throw you a shower, let them. Every child should be celebrated, regardless if it's your first or fifth. :) Go ahead and register for gifts, that way those who want to get you something can do so, and those who can't don't feel obligated to buy something they can't afford. Try and take the nay-sayers with a grain of salt. You are NOT being greedy by having another shower. Let your family and friends get together and celebrate with you, and enjoy some down time with them. :) Congrats on the new baby!

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A.F.

answers from St. Cloud on

Congratulations on your growing family!!!

Two years ago, I threw a shower for a friend who was having her FIFTH baby. 35 people came to celebrate the new baby and bless the mom with gifts. It was fantastic! And the party poopers who didn't think the baby deserved a shower stayed home and missed out on a wonderful event.

Let people think what they will and let the generous and loving people in your life throw you and your little one a shower and ENJOY!!! :)

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A.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

Actually, according to Emily Post (Miss Manners), family should never, ever throw a shower. Baby showers and wedding showers are purely the realm of friends - when family does it, it looks greedy. And I think that's true - I do notice when it's family who throws a shower, and it does look like a plea for gifts.

Having said that, I don't think there is anything wrong with having a second baby shower if a friend wants to throw it for you. A couple's-type shower sounds really nice, and I would have taken your friend up on it! I plan to register for my second baby, and though I don't know if any friends will offer to throw me a shower, if they wanted to use it even just as an excuse for friends to get together. Have fun!

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A.W.

answers from Amarillo on

My friends gave me diaper showers for my2nd and 3rd kids. Takes the pressure off of family, and you get what you really need which is diapers and wipes. I think, though, if they put on the invitation that you're having a boy you'll get lots of boy stuff too. Anything else, I sprung for myself, like bedding and decor. Still had my gear. To be honest, I do think it veers a bit into the "tacky" area when you go all out and register again. But more and more people are doing it, so I think it will probably be commonplace pretty soon. Ultimately, do what you want!

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A.B.

answers from Dallas on

I would not worry about this AT ALL. I think it's sort of ridiculous for your friend to even mention it to you. If she's 'uncomfortable' with giving you a shower for your second baby, then FINE. You didn't ask for it. It's always nice to do something for someone and kindness can never be mistaken as improper. I completely understand the reluctancy to give you a huge shower with the first and for your mom to want to give you that now, I think is just very sweet. Try to enjoy all this and maybe just tell your friend that she needn't worry with it. I'd bet you'd hear ALL about it if she were to give you a shower anyway....she probably just didn't get a second one herself! :) congratulations! Relax and enjoy your last days of sleep! hehe.

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C.H.

answers from New York on

I am having a second (Feb.) and my close friends are throwing me a "sprinkle" (up a "sprinkle") and although I didn't need one they wanted it to be a chance for a few close people to get together and celebrate this baby with me. They are doing a brunch where everyone is bringing something, having everyone bring diapers, and I gave them a list of smaller items that I need for #2 like new bottles, bath items, onsies, etc. There are only 7 people coming and I didn't register for anything (just gave the list to person planning). I would assume you wouldn't need a lot as its your second so a big shower sounds odd and could be perceived by some as "selfish." It might make it seem as if you want more stuff than you need, etc especially if you register for lots of bigger items! Hope this helps!

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L.E.

answers from Dallas on

I looked it up and most websites are in agreement that it is proper etiquette to have a baby shower for each pregnancy. I look at it this way, you wouldn't leave out having a birthday party for one of your kids just because the other one already had a birthday party would you? We celebrated the birth of my 2nd by having a party after he was born. He was actually my husband's and my first child together, we each had a daughter from our previous spouses. I would go for it and not worry, if someone objects they can just excersise their right to not come and miss the fun!

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E.W.

answers from Dallas on

I am pregnant with my second (first was a girl, this one is a boy) and I plan on having a baby shower. My little sister has had three. Regardless if it is your first or fifth I think that a baby should be celebrated and I personally do not find it offensive that a mom would have another shower. I think you hit the nail on the head though, it is a matter of personal opinion but everyone I know has done it and I see nothing wrong with it.

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

Congratulations on your second little miracle! There is nothing wrong with a second baby shower! Do not listen to the nay-sayers. It does not, in any way, appear you are asking for gifts. And for family throwing a shower - it may be against what Emily Post said but in reality - family members always throw showers for each other. Times have changed. If someone has offered to throw you a shower, let them. For your friend that all of a sudden decided a 2nd shower is inappropriate, pay no attention. Good luck and enjoy the journey!

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K.K.

answers from Dallas on

Well, I have TWO girls, less than 14 months apart and YES I had two showers.....I did not care about the gifts and just wanted to "Celebrate Life" (theme of shower)!!! Let's not forget the miracle of new life....every intricate part of God's wonderful hands at work.....that is more than enough to celebrate!!! And, who does not need at least diapers----different gender or not......CELEBRATE and the people who have an issue with it will probably not come anyhow....so all will work out just fine.

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