Advice of Gift for Single Mom with No Car (Rides Bus)

Updated on November 01, 2008
L.L. asks from Federal Way, WA
15 answers

A friend of mine has an almost 6 week old baby (Jasmine 8 pounds...was 5 weeks early). I've known her my whole life. She is a single mom with no car...rides the bus everywhere. Right now, she has almost nothing...bassinet blankets, and I think enough clothes that currently fit. The Jasmine's dad has a car/carseat and picks her up somethign like every other weekend. Anyway, my friend is pretty much confined to her house with the baby. Her shower is in a couple weeks. I don't have much left from when my son was tiny, and what I did have i gave to her mother who is keeping it at her house for grandma visits. Anyway, Jasmine loves attention and either has to be held of in her basinett. My friend does not have a swing or anything yet. My question is what will a single mom with a tiny baby who can't really leave the house or get anything done appreciate the most? I was thinking of getting her a miya wrap (don't know how to spell it), but I'm wondering if a play pen or something else might be better. What tends to work best when you have to take an infant on the bus to go somewhere? I always drove my son, so this is an entirely different type of thinking for me. My friend has almost no money and I am doing fairly well, so I'd like to get her something nice and something that will really come in handy. I had little when my son was born and ended up with more clothes than i could possibly use (2nd hand) and same for blankets, but almost everything else i had to figure out how to buy myself.

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W.C.

answers from Seattle on

I think a baby carrier that you can take on the bus is good, but you should also give her something to make her feel good about herself. A lovely pen, scarf, bubble bath, etc.

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F.S.

answers from Seattle on

Hi Do you have freecycle.com in your area or Craig's list you or she might be able to find many items for the baby there good items free. Give them a try you might find something that would benefit both Mome and Baby.

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B.G.

answers from Seattle on

My first thought was a baby sling of some sort. There are many kinds. Also... the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" By Marc Weissbluth. I learned so much about baby sleep. It is my number one tool with all my children.

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V.D.

answers from Seattle on

i think a sling wrap thing would be great while the baby is small, and an umbrella stroller for when shes a little bigger. clothes are always good because they grow so fast. i would check some consignment shops if you need to make your dollar stretch, or want to try to get as much as possible. i think a carseat would be too much, cause its too heavy to carry around every where.

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B.O.

answers from Portland on

Hope I am not too late!
I have a 2.5 year old, and have been taking the bus everywhere since she was three days old.
I have bought, borrowed and tried every sling out there.
DO NOT get a Maya wrap. They are very pretty, but big pain in the behind to tie on by yourself when you are out in the elements.
I used a snugli for awhile, and it was great, they outgrow them quickly though.
The two best slings in opinion are-
The NoJo Sling-Very Comfy, lots of material to give baby privacy and warmth, and easily adjustable to body type, weight fluctuations, baby growth. You can use this sling until the kid turns about 4, seriously. It will hold a newborn in a cradle and front sitting position, and then wearable on hip and back positions when they get a little older. It is like having a third arm to carry your baby for you. Plus there is a little pillow to pad your shoulder:) Brand new they are about 35-40, but I see them at consignment stores for 6-20 all the time. The one I used came from a lady who had used it for all three of her babies, then I used it, then I passed it on to a friend who didn't have a sling, then she passed it on to her friend:) It will last forever!
Second choice is the Active Spirit Baby Sling.It is made by a lady named Grandma Rhonda at Portland Saturday Market, but she also will mail you one, her web addy is www.activespiritbabyslings.com
I love this sling and still use it today. It is EXTREMELY durable, adjustable and pretty, and folds down to the size of a diaper. You can literally stuff it in your back pocket. It does all the same holds as the NoJo, and is also very comfortable. It will also hold up to 35lbs. This one will also last forever. It costs me 70, and was worth every penny. I cried once when I thought I had left it at the doctors office:)
A sling is a necessity to a mama who does the bus. People are weird and disrespectful sometimes about wanting to touch and hold the baby. A sling gives the baby privacy and security with mama.

K.K.

answers from Seattle on

Hi L.,
Sounds to me like your friend could really use an umbrella stroller if she doesn't have one and a Snugli type carrier. That makes the baby very mobile both now and when a little bigger. You may also want to stop by our children's consignment sale happening at the Renton Community Center in a couple of weeks. Maybe you could take her out for a shopping spree and pickup lunch on the way home! Please see our website for more info if you're interested. Best of luck to you!
K.

K. Koitzsch
Owner and Chief Operating Officer
JBF Consignment Sales, LLC
www.jbfsale.com
E-mail: ____@____.com
Address: JBF Consignment Sales, LLC, PO Box 68041, Seattle, WA 98168
Phone: ###-###-#### Fax: ###-###-####

Check out "Why We Love JBF!" on You Tube!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTrb43KetYg

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J.S.

answers from Seattle on

the sling wrap, stroller and the book that have already been suggested would be great!

Diapers and formula would be great, but if she is on a tight budget I hope she is smart enough to do the cheep way and go with breast milk and cloth, a pain in the butt, but cheep to do it yourself, and if you are home by yourself it is easy to just rinse and toss in the washer to soak with some bleach and then finish the cycle at the end of each day. And use the disposables if she is out and about. I like the Safeway brand, they are cheep and hold up well.

You could also wait until after the shower (when the baby is old enough to get out in the germy world) to get her something that she really wants or needs and didn't get, and make a day of it by taking her shopping and to lunch or a pedicure. Maybe get her some clothes for herself, I needed nurshing bras and tops. And I can come give the two of you free Aloette makeovers.

Another thing she might like is to have meals made in advance that she could just heat and eat, but something nutritious. I have started doing that for my friends, because that was one of the hardest things for me was to eat while nursing, and then to also get sleep when the baby was sleeping. And if you live close enough to just be there every once in a while so that she can take a nice long shower or bath and have a few minutes of time out. Or to cry on when she hasn't had enough sleep or forgot to feed herself. I guess she does have the dad to take the baby, but a friend that is there for you is priceless. Also be there to remind her to leave the house, I think this can be a big thing to keep the postpartum depression away - sleep, food, and activity. Go for walks with her, tell her to take the baby to stroytime at the library, there are a lot of free things to do, you just have to look, and then go! The physical activity will be good to keep or get the weight off, and fresh air and sunshine is good for the soul.

Let me know if you want me to pamper the two of you with a makeover.
Jeni ###-###-####
____@____.com

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M.D.

answers from Seattle on

I think a wrap, or snuggle/baby bjorn etc is a great idea!!! very portable yet also practicle for her to use around the house when baby needs to be held, yet she also needs to get things done.
play pens are great too!! good for training the child to play independently and safely while mom gets things done.

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K.G.

answers from Seattle on

Hi L., I would lean towards the stroller if you are wanting something for the bus or out of the house. But if you really want to help your friend then I would get diapers/wipes or formula if Jasmine is eating that because those cost a ton and are really needed. You could do a diaper cake and get even more things that Jasmine will need. If you don't know anyone that makes them then let me know and I can help you out with that. One other thing, is the shower going to be at your friends house? If not then you could offer to bring her home with all of her new items.

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S.B.

answers from Seattle on

I dont know the rules for bus riding but if she can carry the baby on the bus a wrap or a sling might be helpful I used to wear mine around the house just to get stuff done baby number 2 loved to be held and loved her sling carrier. A backpack diaper bag might also help it will free hands if she does not have to carry everything but can wear it, a playpen or swing would be nice if the baby likes it. I found a portable swing better cause she can put baby in whatever room she will be in and it takes up way less space. Hope this helps some good luck!

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B.L.

answers from Seattle on

What a wonderful friend you are to have. I have tried or owned just about every infant carrier that you can find. I just recently found the ergo baby carrier! I sooo wish that I had found it first! Check out their website...wonderful company, lots of research and testing went into the development of the carrier, and it should last for a long time. It is a bit pricey, but you will see that it can be used front, hip or back and with the features, I totally think that it was money well spent! You can even look on ebay for some deals and then make the money that you would have spent go a little further. Good luck!

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J.S.

answers from Seattle on

I would think a moby wrap or sling would be good, plus maybe bus tokens (are whatever they use). I don't ride the bus either but some type of carrier could be used at home and on the bus.
Clothes I buy second hand and trust, but unless I knew who was giving me the moby wrap or sling second hand I would feel safer with a brand new one and no wear or tear. A nice stroller may be another option that folds easily, since the cheap umbrella strollers are hard to push.

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R.V.

answers from Seattle on

i got myself a moby wrap - i love it because its a hands free way to hold my baby - also almost 6 weeks old... i can do stuff around the house while holding her and she sleeps, and i can leave the house with her and my 2 year old and not worry too much about how i can handle them both. :)

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H.B.

answers from Seattle on

A Stroller would be ideal!!! She can take the baby on the bus and not have to hold her while walking...It also opens other doors for walks and such. Good Luck
P.S. Have you thought about asking your friend what she wants/needs?

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K.B.

answers from Seattle on

I think that a snugli or some kind of wrap would be great! That leaves her hands free if she needs to carry other items on the bus, or to do things at home. you can get those for like 20-30. I also agree with the previous poster that diapers, wipes, formula would help a lot. Costco has the best prices that I've seen for all three. The Kirkland formula is literally 1/2 the price (20 for two big cans), 8 packages of wipes are 16.00 and diapers are like 35.00 for over 200.

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