Advice -Never Married and No Child Support

Updated on February 12, 2009
J.P. asks from Sylmar, CA
4 answers

I have two kids. My son is 19 going to college and my daughter is 12. Their dad and I were never married and split up about 5 years ago. My son stayed with his dad because at the time it was the best thing because of school and I thought my son would need the "male" figure around him, I have had my daughter and supported her without her dad's help.I have always paid for the health and dental insurance for both of my kids and other stuff for my son. Can I still ask for child support and still be the sole custodian for my daughter? I also wanted to move to another state but I heard he can accuse me of kidnapping. CONFUSED and need of HELP

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

More Answers



answers from Los Angeles on

YES, YES, YES!! Contact the Dept of Child Support Services for an application and information.

What I recommend is even getting a consultation with an attorney...those are usually free and ask what your options are.

I got child support for my son when he was a baby and was custodial parent (Dad never saw baby) and still am. But since then, my son's Dad challenged that and we now have a visitation order that outlines a few days where my son sees his Dad for a few hours. Oh, and we were never married either. The thing you have to be careful about is creating tension and anger. I spoke with my son's Dad before I called and applied for the child support because he was giving me money in the form of checks here and there, and I wanted it to be on the record. So, he knew it was happening. You might want to inform you ex- that you're going to be seeking it...if you have that kind of relationship.

Also, be advised that as her father, he does have the right to be apart of decision making and things of that, if you are not friendly and he decides if he's going to pay support he also wants to see his daughter on a regular schedule this might come about as well, like with my son's Dad. We have Joint Legal Custody and I Have Physical Custody of our son now.

There are services like mediation and court aid offices that offer advice for no fees or minimal fees that can assist with understanding the process.

Definitely, get some professional advice, and depending on your relationship with you ex- you may want to talk about it with him and see how he feels about helping.

My friend and her ex- were able to get an agreement without legal stuff (going to court) and they both went to the Child Support office together...but, before that he just paid her monthly and they had a contract written up and signed by a notary. But, now that she's getting remarried they both wanted something in writing about visitation and child support. It can be amicable or not, just about to the two adults and how they choose to go about it.

Good luck and let me know if you ever need a chat!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

You need to file a Complaint To Establish Parental Relationship in order to obtain support from a the other parent if you were never married. Yes you can remain the sole physical custodian and you may move out of State if the court agrees that it is in the best interest of the child and visitation arrangements are made. Mediation to determine this visitation is available free of charge. If you would like more information or assistance in filing your own paper work, I can help you. We are a family owned legal assistance office that specializes in Family Law. We've been in business over 20 years and cover the LA, San Bernardino, Riverside and Ventura counties. ###-###-####. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

you would need to file with family law. Most likely visitation will be a subject in addition to child support issue. Usually a fair aggreememt can be reach by both parents if both behave civil with each other. Its usually all about the best interest in the child . Karls got good resources for you to start with. Consult with the professional before you start to discuss it with your children father, so that you approach the matter appropriately with him.



answers from Los Angeles on

My friend moved out of state without her husband knowing. She got a attorney right away. He told her that if he knew she was there and didn't tell her to come back after three months he couldn't do anything. She wrote a letter that she was there and he tried to get her to come back but he had abused her daughter so she didn't. She stayed kept being kind to him for the three months then cut him off. It would make a difference if you daughter has a relationship with her father too. M. R.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions