Advice for Soon to Be Twin Mom

Updated on July 09, 2008
N.B. asks from North Richland Hills, TX
39 answers

I have a 5, 3 and soon to be twin girls (July 08). My 5 & 3 year old are easy. Managing the twins is my concern. Anyone have advice for me?

Thanks!!!!

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So What Happened?

Thanks to everyone who offered feedback to my posting! It has really helped with the "big picture"!

Best Wishes,
Nathalie

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

My twins are now 11 and my son is 15. Ge them on a synchronized schedule first. I did that by the 2ndo r 3rd day home with them. When one wakes up, change that baby, then wake the other one. Within a few days they will be on the same schedule.

I agree about having all of your night time tings ready before you go to bed. The first few months you will be tired. Ask for help so you can sleep. We had a nanny ( I foolishly thought I was super mom and could work full time with 3 kids under 5!- that didn't last long.) Anyway I am a morning person, so I would take the 2AM - 10AM shift (before I went back to work) with colicing twins (for 7 weeks) and would feed every 2 hours on the clock and around the clock. My nanny would take the next 8 hours more or less, or help around the house, and my husband would do the feedings from 6PM - 2AM for the first couple of months.

Also, make freezer food. You'll need the sustenance. Even if you can't afford to hire help, find help......friends, church, a mother's helper (young babysitters 12 years old, maybe, for the older ones) anyone you trust in your home. Believe it or not, your 5 year can help, too, but don't make that child do too much or they will resent the babies. I have the cutest photo of my son feeding his sisters, who were head to head on the couch and my son had a bottle in each hand and a big smile on his face. My son was 4 at the time.

Absolutely join a twins club. The moral support is great and you can actually get out with your brood. People with singletons have no clue how challenging it is to keep them all together, well behaved and clean for an outing. ;-)

If you use formula, make it up by the pitcher full and keep those bottles ready. If you use the playtex type, heat them in warm water, not the micro-wave. NOW! they say that the plastics melt into the milk at a molecular level from the microwave.......wish I had known that back then.

You can do this. Just get help. Oh! and be sure to take lots of photos no matter how tired you are. They will grow like little weeds. I looked at my 11 year olds last night in their skates doing fancy tricks on the driveway, chattering away and was remembering how they were just swimming in newborn diapers when we brought those sweet bundles of joy home.

Try not to over analyze it. Just sink into this blessing. The house and all else will be there when you get your new family size equilibrium back. Good luck!

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R.B.

answers from Dallas on

Hi there,

Congratulations on the upcoming birth of twins! Wow! I have 4 children but all were single births. I do not have "advice" however, I do own a mom-owned business called The Moonlighting Nannies and what we do is come into your home and take care of your baby/babies during the overnight hours (usually from 10p-6a). Complete care is given and the babies could be brought to you for breastfeeding if you are going to nurse them or fed by us if you want a complete night sleep. The families that we usually provide care for have us come in on a very temporary basis, but we have had some that has used us for around 3 months. Even if you needed just one or two nights, we would be available. This is not saying you would even need this type of service. Just thought I would pass along the info.... just in case. If the need comes up, keep us in mind. You could email me at [email protected]____.com or call at ###-###-####. Also, we are registered nurses with 14+ years newborn experience. We are not working as "nurses"; however, the added experience is a real plus.... Good luck and congratulations again.

R.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

Congrats! As you will learn, twins are truly a blessing! I have twin boys born in Feb. 08. These two are our first, so I don't have any advice on life with twins and other children.

I think the biggest thing is accept help from anyone who will offer (or you may have to ask!). My parents live in the area, but they stayed with us for the first 6 weeks....what a lifesaver! They helped us with the babies, cooking, cleaning, etc. They took over so we could take naps or showers or eat. This also gave me plenty of help while recovering from having a c-section.

I guess the next thing on my list would be getting them into a routine. We feed them at the same time, put them down for a nap/bedtime at the same time. Once one wakes up, we change that one and then get the other one up and change him and get ready to eat. We started this while they were in the hospital and continued when we got home.

Another big thing that helped us (recommended by another twin mom) was a book, The Happiest Baby on the Block. That really helped us learn how to calm them and get them sleeping longer. Since you've had other children, you may have already read it. It really helped out our boys. We started using all the techniques after a few weeks and they became different babies. Easier to calm...no more crying fits for hours.

Also, being organized is a big help. Being able to find things when they are screaming and keeping up with "chores" (bottle making, cleaning, laundry, etc.) helps keep the sanity in the house. If you go the formula route, Dr. Brown's makes a formula mixing pitcher that we use every day to make bottles. I had to start supplementing with formula while in the hospital because they weren't getting enough from me (now they are completely formula fed babies)...so don't feel bad if you have to as well. Also, Costco has the best prices on formula that I have found. And if you register with Similac and Enfamil, you will get coupon checks (and free samples) that you can use there...I'm sure Sam's is the same way.

Other things...we still keep a feeding/changing/medicine log for the boys to make sure everything is going normal, I think it is more for security since I can't remember what happened yesterday let alone how much they are eating, peeing, and pooping! :) I haven't joined a mother of multiples group yet, but hear they are pretty helpful for support and advice. We go through a ton of burp cloths and onesies. I have found that the cloth diapers make the best burp cloths...our boys spit up quite a bit, so these manage to absorb a lot. Our boys have lived in onesies, mainly because we still swaddle them when they go to sleep, so we have a ton of onesies.

Just remember that things will get easier....it won't always be as crazy as it is in the beginning. Feel free to contact me if you have any other questions or concerns....good luck! It's quite a fun journey, as I am learning everyday!

J.

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R.Y.

answers from Dallas on

I don't have other children, but work fulltime and got very little help from my workaholic husband. My advice...Two words...Baby Wise. Get the book and follow it from day one. It made the infant stage so much easier. My girls are three now and it instilled great long term sleeping and eating habits for them. Also depending on you location there is probably a mothers of multiples group close. Go to txmom.org to find groups. I am a member mid cities and lake cities, each are very different but helpful.

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A.B.

answers from Dallas on

Hi N.-

I am a mom of twin boys that are 2. I was very nervous about my boys arrival, being a first time mom, having no family close by, and a husband that travels. I stuck to a very strick routine with them. If one woke up to eat, I would get the other one awake to feed also. After several weeks of sticking to the clock, their bodies became very predictable about nap time, eating, ect. Also, do as much pre-preparation as possible. I would get their bottles ready at night for the next day, lay out clean clothes, ect. The great thing for you with your older children, is that they can help you take care of the girls. Having children is such a blessing, but having multiples is an even greater gift. The bond your girl's will have is amazing. My boys LOVE each other to death. I love to see them hug each other and say, "Mommy, I love brother!" It is so awesome for them to have a built in best friend. There will be tough times, especially with two older children, but savor the wonderful times because there will be a lot and as you know they go by way to fast. You will do great!

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J.D.

answers from Dallas on

You will be fine!!! My first son was only 17 months old when my identical twin boys were born. So be glad that atleast your 3 and 5yr olds are older a little more independent and can actually help you and be more involved with the twins, rather than being totally needy like my 17 month old was when the twins came alone. The key is to have a schedule and try to keep them all on it as much as possible. Have a set bed time for the older kids and maybe make it about 30 minutes earlier than usual so that you will have some extra time to get things done with the twins before you put them down to bed, since there are two of them.

One of the life savers for me was that my husband helps alot. And if yours doesnt, well it's time for that to change!!! Ha, ha! We split up the twins shifts and both work full time jobs, so I'd get home from work at 5pm, I'd take care of whatever they needed till 8pm. Then I'd go to bed along with my oldest son, and my husband would stay up with the twins and do the feedings, changings, etc. Then I'd get up between 1-2 am and take over with the rest of the night time feedings and changings so he could go to sleep then I'd go back to sleep between feedings, and up at 6am to get ready for work and my husband would sleep till 8am, then he'd get up to go to work. It was hard and very stressful, but it is manageable and it does get easier!! Feel free to keep in touch if you need any more moral support. Best of luck! J. email: [email protected]____.com

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P.B.

answers from Lubbock on

I too am the mother of twins, I had a 2 1/2 year old when my twins were born, then a week before the twins turned 2 i had my last child. My advise accept all the help that is offered. If some one wants to bring dinner, let them. Also allow the older children to help as much as they want. If your parents (or your Husbands Parents) live near by let them come and help as much as they want. Never be afraid to talk to your friends and ask for help also. The best thing to do is to take it one day at a time and don't set unrealistic goals for the day, enjoy the children and the rest will come in time. Don't get to worried about the house it will get clean in time. When my kids were little I had several friends that had small kids at the same time we use to trade off and have play day at each others houses sometimes we would all do each others laundry, or have a day of cooking and freezing meals, and lots of talks and laughs. Keep your chin up This TOO shall pass.

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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

I'm a mom of twin boys and I have 2 girls. The girls were 7 and 5 when the twins born. They were a big help. My husband worked 2 jobs, so he needed his rest, he would help me by handing them to me while I was seated to nurse them. That lasted about a month and a half. I knew it was alot of work, and there were others who wanted to help so I switched them to formula. Much easier and less stressful!!! I had to get labels made though, so I knew which twin was drinking which bottle, they were on different formulas, so I didn't want to get them mixed up.
I also made a feeding/ diaper chart on the computer and printed off 4 months worth and put them in a 3 ring binder. I kept this to keep me organized with the twins name on their own seperate sheet, and I logged when they ate and if their diaper was wet or poopy. This helped me as well as others who wanted to help, like moms,and Mother-in-Laws,they could look at the chart, and see when they last ate. This really helped me at night and early morning.
If someone offers to help, take them up on it!! If you can get help for around the house chores, dinners, someone to come clean once a week, and help for your other 2 children.
You will need to nap as well and if you had someone come over for a few hours so you can rest, do it and don't feel guilty, you will need the rest and you deserve it, others want to help, so let them!!!!!!! Also, it's ok to cry, it's going to be overwhelming and it's ok to cry.
Good luck and Congratulations!!!!!
If you would like to talk you can call me ###-###-####

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K.F.

answers from Dallas on

I have to second Kari R. I am also a twin (identical) and it was not just my mom but pretty much everyone that treated us identically. (And Kari, how funny, my mom had no idea until about a week before we arrived). My sister and I have very different personalities and it was very difficult on us to always be treated the same. Go ahead and give in to dressing them alike or whatever while they are little but as soon as they start to express their own personalities make sure those around them treat them as two people, not a unit ("the twins"). Even if they have similar personalities or look identical they are two separate people! (Can you tell I feel strongly about this!) Good luck, I'm sure you'll do great!

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S.K.

answers from Dallas on

My girls are 2 and honestly, I don't remember much about the first 3 or 4 months. I was exhausted. Sleep when you can. If someone offers to help, take it! Have them watch the kids while you sleep or have themv vacuum the house! I was never comfortable letting people help me, but I couldn't have made it without the extra hands.

I made a simple chart in Excel for each baby where I kept a record of everything like feeding times, how much they ate, if they had dirty/wet diapers, any medicine that I had to give them, awake/asleep times, etc. I just couldn't remember anything. Later, I added what solids they ate, how much, whether or not they liked it, bad reactions, etc. I kept it simple, but it really helped me.

The Snap and Go double stroller is great if you don't already have a stroller. It is lightweight and much easier to maneauver than the huge double stroller systems. We bought ours online and didn't have to pay shipping. I LOVED mine. I sold it on ebay after they switched to the bigger car seats and bought a lightweight side by side stroller.

If you are on a budget, one swing, one bouncy seat, etc. is fine. You can switch the babies between the things you have and they won't get bored. If you find that they both do better with one of them, then you can go get another. My favorite things were the travel swings because I could easily move the swings from room to room.

Try the Members Mark diapers from Sams. MUCH better price than name brands, you get a bunch at one time, and they work great. (I do use Huggies night time at night, though.)

Be sure to find a twins group. Now is the time to go to the meetings and meet some of the experienced moms. They will be so much help when the girls arrive. If you are in the Allen/McKinney area, check out www.amamom.org.

Congratulations on having twins. The first three months will be the toughest mainly because of your lack of sleep but you will do fine.

One last thing, if you don't already, consider starting a journal. I have been keeping journals since college and I esp. love reading my entries about my pregnancies & the kids.

Sorry for going on and on. Feel free to email me anytime!

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A.S.

answers from Dallas on

The best thing to do would be to join a "Mothers of Multiples" support group in the metroplex. I am sure that your time is limited, but joining one will help you to be networked with other experienced moms of multiples and help you with all of the questions that you have. I have 7 year old triplets and am a member of the Denton Area Mothers of Multiples. It is nice to be part of a group that understands what you are going through and all the blessing and challenges that there are with having multiples. There are very active chapters in Allen, Plano, Dallas, Garland, Flower Mound, Fort Worth just to name a few. Depending on what area who live in, you should be able to find a group close to you by searching the web. Hope this helps and congratulations!

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

I have twin boys, 5 months old now. I also have an 8 yr old boy. He is a tremendous help. I had a vaginal delivery, which helped my recovery time. I also decided to nurse (still nursing!). I found that nursing cuts down on washing bottles. Its also cheaper than formula. You can nurse two babies!! Get them on a feeding schedule, no matter what you do to feed them. Get them on a sleeping schedule too, it will save your sanity!

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S.

answers from Dallas on

I have 2 sets of twins, ages 4 and almost 2. I don't know what it's like to have just one child, so don't know how to compare. What makes life work for us is to be as organized as you can and get as much help as possible. Before you go to bed at night, be sure you have as much ready as you can - bottles cleaned and filled, etc. We bought a large restaurant style coffee pot and keep hot water in it all the time so we can quickly heat up bottles. You will need to sleep whenever you can; team up with your husband so that you will be able to get some rest. Hire a night nanny to help if you can afford it; get friends and relatives to help some if you can. Join a multiple moms support group; if you are in north dallas or plano, check out www.pamom.org. Good luck; take lots of deep breaths and get ready to dive right in.

K.M.

answers from Dallas on

Congrats. Twins can be very difficult, but twice the blessing too! My twins (boy/girl) are almost 6 years old and my daughter turned 3 years old 2 weeks after they were born. I was blessed to be able to stay home with them until they were 4 1/2 months old. My husband and my 3year old helped. Once I started supplementing with formula, I would allow my 3year old to feed 1 while I breat feed the other. My biggest advise is to take all the help that you can get. Be honest with your friends and family. Ask them to help w/ the laundry and cleaning the house. If you can, prepare and freeze food now. My frineds and church family were my biggest help, but only after I was honest and asked for the help. My twins slept in the pack and play next to my bed together until they were 4 months old. At that time they started to roll over and we moved them to seperate cribs in 1 room. My husband was a big help from the beginning. He would get up and change 1 and bring that 1 to me to start feeding and then would wake up the other if that one was not awake, change the diaper and then bring them to me to feed. I would not of made it through the first 2 months if it had not been for my wonderful husband and my best friend.

I am also a twin (boy/girl) and I second the motion of making sure that you treat them as individuals. I can not tell you how many matching outfits my mother tried to make for us when we were little. Thankfully, it did not last too long. My biggest gripe today is that my mother still refers to us as the twins! When she introduces us, she says... "This is our oldest son "---" and these are the twins. or "This is K., one of the twins". I am never just K.. I do everything I can to not reference them as "THE TWINS!" Fortunately or unfortunately, my daughter is about 1 1/2 - 2 inches taller than my son and everyone things she is atleast 1 year older. Even though she is the true baby, she treats her brother as if he is the baby and he allows it. I always just introduce them by their names and then if people ask how old they are or if they are twins, I tell them. They are individuals first and twins second. My twin and I are very close like my twins. We talk 3-5 times a day.
I pray that things will fall in place for you and you will have all the assistance you need and healthy girls.

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G.W.

answers from Dallas on

The best thing I did was have my aunt stay with me for 2 months after the birth of my twins. She was patient, she helped with my older child, cooked, cleaned, and even dressed my son's wounds after his surgery (he had a tumor on his knee). She was so helpful. If you don't have someone to stay for a while, hire a little help for a while--it's so worth it!

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J.M.

answers from Dallas on

July 8, Hey that`s my Birthday!!!!!!!!

Anyway, you are not in this alone ,your husband will assist you `Im sure of this.
Always remember that...

P.s. maybe your parents or inlaws can be of some assistance.

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A.H.

answers from Amarillo on

Hello! I am a mom of 4 also. 5 y/o boy, 3 y/o girl and twins faternal boys that are 14 months old that couldn't be more different. One looks like me and acts like dad and the other looks like dad and acts like me! What a rush!

In my opinion:

The most important thing I could tell you for the beginning is get some help settling into a routine for atleast the first few weeks. Especially with the older ones and new ones together. They need a pretty rigid schedule at first.

I also wanted to stress to you to hang in there. Things DO get easier as they get older.

I hope you are going to breastfeed too! It sounds impossible, but you CAN DO IT! Just remember to take your time and think "This is the best thing for them and God has given this gift of nursing solely to me to give to my children. No one else can do this for them and it's such a blessing."

I have always read that the time when they are little goes by so fast and that's so true! My boys are walking now and I am very thankful that I got to spend this precious time with them.

From day one they have been together and I never felt the need to separate that bond. They were in their crib until about a month ago and now they are on a twin mattress on the floor together for transition.

Nursing/feeding them together helps your wits, in my opinion. I sat in the middle of the couch with 2-3-4 pillows on each side and stuffed, puffed and smoothed them until I found the position that worked for them to nurse together, one on each boobie. As they get older they will get their own preference of position and tell you. When it's time for a highchair, we got the kind that clip on to a regular chair. This is such a space saver!

Seriously, HANG IN THERE! God promised good times and hard times, but He also promised the best part in the end!

I really could go on for days so if you EVER need any advise or ideas on anything, e-mail me anytime. I check it usually daily!

[email protected]____.com

Good Luck and God bless!

A. Harris

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

Hi N.! You should definitely join a twins club. I have twins who are now five and I joined the Fort Worth Club while I was pregnant. The moms I have met through the club are now some of my closests friends. It is a big help to get advice from people who know where you have been! Since you live in NRH I would suggest Mid Cities Mothers of Multiples, their web site is www.mcmoms.org. If you feel like driving to Fort Worth you can check out our website at www.fwmom.org
Good Luck!

M.

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L.G.

answers from Dallas on

Read my friends blog- she had quads last August - I set up the Volunteers to help her

http://thelifeofsuz.blogspot.com/ on a daily basis -

And here is my blog - http://L.-gibson.blogspot.com/

look down on the right hand side of the screen and see Share the Care for Marcie and Share the Care for the Steece Quads - mayby this will help:

if I can help you more- sign my blog with your email addrss and I'll get back to you - I know how to set up Volunteers if you will be needing help - I do it for fun at no cost to you.

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R.E.

answers from Dallas on

I highly recommend you join the Plano Area Mothers of Multiples (PAMOM). They will set you up with a buddy who has had twin girls, and they offer many mixers and get togethers. In addition, you can get gently used equipment from other moms who had had twins.

R. Elkin, MOT, OTR/L, CKT

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T.T.

answers from Dallas on

I have 4 month old boy/girl twins and a 19 month old. So we are very busy. Having a routine is key. Yes, feed them at the same time (especially if you are pumping). My husband is a stay at home dad so he has the children during the day. We hired a Nanny who was with us from when they came home until they were almost 4 months. That helped. Laundry will pile up quickly and just getting some one to come in and wash/fold is great. Since i nursed both of the twins at the same time I would nurse them at night, while my husband rested. Now my daughter wakes up once during the night and my son wakes up twice. They nurse for about 10- 15 mintues tops and are knocked out. They sleep very well during the day. they spend time on the floor kicking around and in the swing (after eating to be in an upright position). It does get easier.

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A.K.

answers from Dallas on

Congratulations N.!
Twins truly are a blessing...my sister gave birth to twins almost 4 years ago and they are so much fun! I looked to see where you live and it looks like you live in North Richland Hills, so I would HIGHLY recommend contacting the Lake Cities Mothers of Multiples group! My sister is a member and on the membership commitee. It has been so very helpful for her to learn about dealing with multiples...it is SUCH a DIFFERENT experience than giving birth and raising singletons! You can PM me and I would be more than happy to give you my sister's contact information. You really are going to need a lot of help early on and one nice thing that the LCMOM's group does is deliver food and provide the MUCH needed support.

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A.B.

answers from Dallas on

My older two were 3 and 1.5 when I had my twins. The first three months are a blur. Healthy Sleep Habits; Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth is great, after three months I got sleep. The older two loved to help, they each had their own baby to hold! Get some help if you can, you'll be fine!

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M.A.

answers from Dallas on

I have 4 month old twin boys and I love them so much. I would say joining a multiples club has helped (fwmom.org) and I love the group and support. They have meetings once a month, play dates, adult activities and an online forum for questions and feedback.

The most important thing is routine I think. My boys are now sleeping 10-12 hours a night with no feedings overnight. Having a pedi that cares about everyones sleep has helped. We started out helping them learn the difference between day and night by feeding every two hours during the day and setting a bedtime and goal for sleep (10 hours to start). It was not cry-it-out but it was 5 minutes for a couple of weeks, then 10 and then 15. 15 is the max and usually they will self soothe themselves to sleep in about 7 minutes. During the day they sleep 45 minutes to an hour out of every 2 hour feeding. Once they start show tired cues (rubbing eyes, yawning, cranky) they go down for their nap.

Feeding at the same time it crucial! Otherwise you would end up feeding all day long. My life saver for feeding was the EZ to nurse twin nursing pillow form doubleblessings.com.

Don't buy two of everything. Buy one and see if they both like it first.

Maybe I will meet you at a meeting. Our next meeting is this Tuesday evening at 7pm see our website. It would be great to see you there. Meetings are a potluck style dinner.

Congratulations!

M.

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D.H.

answers from Sacramento on

Dear N.,
Congratulations! Twins are so much fun. I have three-year-old twin daughters and they are a true blessing. My advice to you is join a multiples group or some group where you will meet moms of multiples. Also, get your twins on the same feeding schedule early on, even if that means waking up a sleeping baby. Most importantly, take care of yourself during these crucial last few months, the longer you carry your twins, the healthier they will be, this is a lifelong gift to them. Good luck to you, you have so much joy ahead! If you need to talk drop me a note.

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J.B.

answers from Dallas on

First of all, I am a mother of 2 yr. old twins (boy/girl). YOUR HUSBAND MUST TAKE ON THE RESPONSIBILITY OF FEEDING ONE GIRL AT NIGHT! My husband did this & it helped. I breast fed for several months until I realized I didn't have milk. The Dr. Browns bottles (18 of them) were our life savers. One bottle every 3 hrs. for each baby & one for juice. Being a mom first will help. My twins were my first & I didn't kmow what to do..........

Let ANY & EVERY thing go. Don't worry about things that don't matter at that point. It's a joke when people say, "sleep when the baby(s)sleep"....there's always milk to prepare or other stuff. It was a long time until I could nap when they nap. I tended to shower at 3 or 4 am when all were sleeping...the days & nights will all run into one.

My twins had the same schedule & still do!!! This is a blessing. YOU just make that happen. The only thing I wish I had 2 of was the swing. All other things we were fine with one. The kids slept in 2 bassinets on each side of our beds until 3 mos. old (paranoid first time mom). They then moved into their OWN baby beds in different rooms. My son tended to cry VERY loud when he got hungry.

One of the main things I would do different would be to wein them of their night bottles sooner. Being a bit preemie, we fed them every 3 hrs. for a LONG time. This was VERY exhausting.

It took me 5 mos. to take them into the grocery store & 5 more months for another trip. Plan your grocery shopping when your husband can push a baby & a basket.

I have a restaurant/cooking background & found that homecooked meals went out the door! We lived on good pre-made things & take out. I'm happy to say I'm back to cooking now.

Cheap diapers are ok if your child will tolerate them. Get a good stroller. I got a Peg Perego ($900) travel system & it is worth EVERY penny! Hard to find. I found on the internet.

You are very lucky to have these twins as #3 & 4. You'll do a super job. My kids are best friends & I wouldn't have life any other way. Hope some of this helps.

J.

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C.C.

answers from Dallas on

My best friend has 4 month old twins. She has joined the Fort Worth mothers of multiples and says that they have given her alot of help and advice. Everything she has shared with me has helped me with my "one" son. Also, she is on a strict schedule with her twins and that has been a blessing in the sanity department. If you would like me to give you more info, you can send me a private message.

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J.M.

answers from Lubbock on

Ask around for a "Moms of multiples" or some similar organization.

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K.R.

answers from Dallas on

N.-

I am a twin and my only advice to you is to PLEASE raise your twins to be "two individuals" rather than a "set of twins". My mother did not know she was having twins until we were here and as soon as she could, she got every book on the subject and I'm so thankful! My sister and I are fraternal and we would have been miserable if my parent's had wanted us to be alike. They appreciated our differences and we thrived because of that. My mother also started a Mothers of Twins Club. I know others have told you to look for a multiples club and I think that is wonderful advice. Good luck!

-K.

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Y.C.

answers from Dallas on

i have a two year old and 5 month old boy/girl twins. so i know how you feel anxious worried dreading the sleepless nights. i'm not sure how tough you were with youre other two but catered to my sons every whim ( i still do) and the classes i went to taught me you need to be tough with twins or youll end up pulling your hair out. the first month get all the help you can get cause you gotta feed on demand especially if they are preemies after that you need to set a schedule a feeding every 3 hours like clockwork then the end of the first week make their night time feedings every 4 hours let them cry it out then every week make their night time feeding 1 hour later and by the end of the month they should be able to sleep 6 to 7 hours a night. this is extremely difficult the first 2 weeks i would cry in my room cause i wanted to go to them so badly but my husband would say lets just try it till the end of the second month and if it doesnt work we will stop. but it worked they sleep all night and are happy and awake all day. they still eat every three hours during the day but they sleep from 8 to 9 or 10 sometimes. its hard but it was worth it

well good luck if you have any questions feel free to message me

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A.G.

answers from Dallas on

I ahve twon boys that are 2 and a half. I have to say the most valuable thing is a night nanny. I had one for 3 nights a week just to give me much needed rest and sanity. My husband was concerned about the expense and then he saw how much work it is and asked her to stay longer. My boys were preemie and ate every three hours. This is taxing and if you are trying to breastfeed or pump, you feel as though you never sleep. If you are in the NICU any amount of time, your other children won't be allowed in so juggling childcare can be hard. I had someone come over a couple of hours during the day at times just so I could shower and take a little nap. I felt like a new person! Join a club like other have said. I am a member of North Dallas Mothers of Twins and we have a message board that has been a life saver for me! You can ask questions any time of the day or night. I have wonderful friends that have helped me through my journey as a twin mom. we have playgroup with other moms with twins that can relate to our unique situation. Stock up your freezer now! It is so much easier to stick something in the oven than to try to prepare anything. Like someone else said, take pictures every day!!! The times when I was sleep deprived, I still have it all documented! As for raising twins... it is the most valuable experiance ever. It is so touching to see them be a team. They go through many phases at the same time. They are the best of friends but there is always sibling rivalry just as it is with singletons. Stay off your feet from here on out! bed rest is no fun but the NICU is much more stressful and emotional. Remember the first 6 months is the hardest... once you are through that, ever month gets a little easier.

You might want to look into Love and Logic and buy early childhood love and logic. This has helped me so much with my boys. I took the classes locally. Another great resource is a book called the five love languages so you can figure out what language of love feeds your child and give them love the way they want/need it.

Congrats!!! It is like no other experiance but it is worth every sleepless night and every struggle. You will love it if you just sit back and roll with it:)

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S.E.

answers from Dallas on

Get as much sleep as you can now!! ha ha. I have 4 month old twin girls. They are keep me very busy, but are the light of my life. I am not going to lie...the first 6 weeks are the toughest. If you can live through that, you are "golden"!!! My advice, and something I wish I would have done, would be to get involved in a mother of multiples group. I am about to start visiting a couple to see which one I might like best. Getting advice from MOM (mom's of multiples) would have been very helpful in the beginning. Plus, many times you can get hand me downs from other MOM. i.e double stroller, high chairs, clothes, etc. Where are you located? I am in Allen. I would be glad to chat with you anytime. Do your best to keep them on the same schedule. It will make your life much easier. You will really enjoy it (after a few months). Mine are just now starting to recognize each other and it's so much fun. The two groups I plan to check out are North Dallas Mothers of Twins club (www.ndmotc.org) and Allen/ Mckinney Mothers of Multiples (www.amamom.org). Good luck and feel free to hit me back if you would like to chat more. Shanna

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C.A.

answers from Dallas on

Hi N.,

I had twins almost 3 weeks ago - I also have a just turned 3 year old and a 19 month old (all 4 are boys). Like everyone else has said, it is a totally different experience having two at a time!

I think you've received some good advice so far. The things that have helped me the most are having them on the same schedule (especially at night, when one wakes up to eat, wake the other one up, too), accepting help when it is offered, and taking the time every day or two to get out of the house alone. I also think joining a moms of twins/multiples group helped (I attend PAMOM). It's nice to know you are not alone and others have experienced what you are experiencing and understand what you are going through.

Good luck!
C.

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L.W.

answers from Dallas on

I have a great resource for you. It is the Plano Area Mothers of Multiples. I am a member myself. Just go to their website www.pamom.org to join.

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B.H.

answers from Dallas on

And do like these moms say; accept help.
You call me any time!!!
I can help you now; I know you are on bed rest. What do you need done, friend?

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D.B.

answers from Dallas on

I have a friend with triplets and her best source of information was from other multiple moms. She joined Mother of Multiples when she was pregnant. Having a plan before the babies come will be easier than playing catch up when you are in the middle of it. She also had a baby nurse that specialized in multiples for the first 2 months. The experience helped especially since she also had an 18 month old when the triplets arrived. Good luck!

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M.D.

answers from Dallas on

I am also a mom of twins, now 2 1/2 years old & am busy every minute of the day. My best advice is to keep the twins on the same feeding schedule, even if it means waking one up to eat when the other one is hungry. I fed my boys at the same time whether nursing (tandem nursing), bottle-feeding, rice-cereal, etc. If you keep them on the same feeding schedule, eventually their nap/play/relax schedules will fall into alignment as well.

The benefit to me was that I had/have more time in between feedings to rest, play with them, clean, etc.

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J.A.

answers from Dallas on

Please email [email protected]____.com mother of 7 children ages 18 to 15 months. My last two were twins.

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K.M.

answers from San Francisco on

I have twins that just turned 1 year old last month. When they were born, my other daughter had just turned 3. The best advice I can give you is to find someone to help you with your other two children so A) you can spend one-on-one time with your twins and B) To give them something to do where they get the attention. Either hire part-time help or find a friend who might be willing to take them even 1 day/week for a few months. Things with my twins were really difficult until they were around 6 months old. They started evening out on their naps and becoming more manageable. I nursed them both until they were 11 months old, which was good, but challenging at the same time.

If you have specific questions, please feel free to email me at [email protected]____.com. I JUST got through the difficult first year and have a lot of advice to give and a shoulder to cry on when needed.

I also have two pink toille carseats for sale if you're interested. I don't mean to "pitch" you, but my twins are too big for them now and I just put them up on www.craigslist.com yesterday.

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