Adults Constantly Woken up by Babies Who Share Room

Don't wean yet, instead start giving him cereal before his bed time, with a fuller tummy he will sleep better.

Do you really need to stay in this apartment? or could you get more space by moving in to a different area yet spend the same? research your possibilities. Perhaps sharing a house with another couple with kids , and exchanging sitting time with them could give both of you some relief

Other wise I say build a loft bed, canvas the lower area, to muffle the sound of the awake child, place the older child upstairs ( install a good railing.)

Turn on a white noise ( like an ac or fan or the sound of waves near your husband( when he is in town) and older child in the upper bed.

When your husband is in town demand 3 half days a week of child care. go to starbucks or the park to get your paperwork and relaxation done :) screw in the living room or kitchen and leave the nights for sleeping :) sorry if I am being too direct. Love H.

I have to ask.....why are you nursing you 10 month old every couple of hours? As you know, he should be sleeping through the night. You need to stop feeding him as a tool to get him back to sleep. That he should be doing on his own. You may just have to deal with the baby waking up your 2 year old for a few days while he get's used to not eating. It's just a process you HAVE to go through.
Maybe your husband can move his things around in his room just enough to get a crib in there. (it's not like he is even using it half the time anyway)It will do you all a lot of good if you can give your son some independence. He needs to learn to fall asleep on his own.
If you can get your son to stop nursing through out the night, everyone will get more sleep. It just might take a few days to get over the whole thing. Your the mom, just say no, and don't offer the boob to him. He'll get over it.
Good luck!

Lynne,

Try eliminating dairy from your diet. I know a lot of folks think colic is normal but I don't. My youngest is sensitive to both dairy and soy. After I eliminated those from my diet (and later his), he started sleeping much better and was just an all around happier child. If your baby is uncomfortable and can't sleep because he's in pain, you'll all be happier if you can figure out why and cure the problem.

If your husband is only in town half the year, does he really need a music studio in your house year around?

Both of my babies always nursed at night (I weaned my oldest at 23 months and my youngest self weaned at 17 months). My youngest is now 22 months and he's still up once or twice every night. Some babies sleep through the night and some don't. In my experience, weaning them didn't make any difference at all. My older child is now almost 5 and he does sleep through the night. But he was 2 before he did it the first time and was over 3 before he did it consistently. Now he only wakes if he's sick. Some kids just take longer to be able to stay asleep all night. I'm 37 and I don't usually sleep through the night without waking.

:-)T.

I know this isn't what you were looking for, but in a two-bedroom apt. with a small living room it is too much for the entire family to be living in one bedroom and have another entire bedroom devoted to music equipment.

You still might feel cramped, but I bet it would help quite a bit if you moved all of our boy's stuff into the other room. You can still co-sleep or whatever it is occurs at night, but you need a little space. Not having them in your personal space all the time would help alleviate at least some of the exasperation you are feeling.

You should talk to your husband. If he doesn't agree, slowly start putting some of his music stuff away and moving some of the baby stuff over. (Some spouses just don't get how much child-raising can take out of a mom - most don't at some time or another). Or just move in all of the baby stuff all at once.

You're fed up. You're done. This is your right.

Well, clearly something has to change. My outsider opinion is that your husband needs to find another place for his music studio. Basically, it's just unfair to the rest of the family. We have a similar situation -- my husband works from home. But it was never a question that our son would get his own room.

If neither you or your son are ready to wean, then wait (I'm guessing he isn't, that you are just looking for some ways to get more sleep).

I am sure that finding a music studio location won't be cheap, but check Craig's list for garages, storage areas, that kind of thing. Maybe he can go in with another musician?

one of the things that sticks out in your message is that you're thinking of weaning your son from breastfeeding in hopes that he'll sleep more.

is he still waking to eat every couple of hours throughout the night? that isn't usually typical for a 10 month old. generally he should nurse in the morning and eat breakfast, nurse again if he wants it, have a nursing snack, eat lunch and nurse, have a nursing snack, eat dinner and nurse, then a night time feeding. that should fill him up mostly, but if he wants to nurse in the middle of the night, by all means, let him.

many others have a different philosophy. but that's a guideline i used and it seemed to work pretty well. here's a website from a pediatrician that may help you understand sleep and feeding patterns a little better as well as a guideline for changing the patterns and the appropriate age.

http://drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

since you're sleeping in the same room, do you co-sleep? that may help with the disruptions at night. there was actually a study done of a mother and baby sleeping together. when the baby wanted to nurse, it was there and available. he stirred, and the mother scooted him to the breast to help him out. the baby nursed and the unlatched when he was satisfied. all this occurred while the brainwaves being monitored didn't change from a sleeping pattern meaning that mother and baby essentially had a nursing session in their sleep.

here's what dr. gordon has to say on sleep safety.

http://drjaygordon.com/development/ap/cosleeping.asp

hope this is helpful or that you at least find something that works for you. :)

Can you guys find a cheap pull out sofa for the living room? Or a futon? Ikea has good cheap stuff, or maybe Goodwill or a yard sale.

At 10mos, he should be sleeping thru the night, w/o needing to nurse. Does he eat well during the day? My daughter who is now 14mos and weaned nursed maybe 3-4 times at 10mos, during the day. She slept thru the night at 8wks.

Dear Lynne,

Good grief ! Just tell your oldest son and Dad that they need to be patient and relax and let you take care of the baby properly, and get themselves comfortable and rest during the crying or whatever happens. It won't be forever and the baby can't help it if you all have to sleep in the same room. He is number one right now and they need to know it and cooperate. Let your husband read this. He will understand. Great Balls of Fire ! There are millions of families all over this earth with similar problems. You have to realize that we all can't be catered to alllll of our lives, but when we are babies, we need that special time to have our needs met. Period. and Amen. C. N.

Sleep in the living room. Get a bigger place I would like to say but that is not what you asked for. You must be living this way for some reason so make your living room your bedroom and let the boys sleep.

Easy solution: Your toddler and your DH should sleep in the bedroom, and you and baby on the floor or sofa bed in the "music" room until you wean your baby. Or your husband and toddler in the music room, and you keep the bedroom for you and baby. Whatever combination, 2 in each room is the deal. Just go to the kitchen or living room for sex if you are ever not exhausted and wishing some... Things will be easier when your youngest turns 4 :) Godd luck!

Girl are you nuts to put up with all of this, he is gone half the year well then half the year take that music stuff out and put it in a storage, he can go practice there. Why are you putting up with this. If its money issues then sell the equipment.. Plus how are you having sex with your husband when all the kids are in the same room as you both ?? Your not ... I am seeing red flag up here next time your hubby goes out of town for half of a year I would go with him.

Hi, Lynne. Ugh, sleep deprivation is such hell. I sympathize. It sounds like your youngest child is the biggest source of the problem, so your goal should be to get him sleeping through the night (then worry about encouraging your 2-yr-old to do the same after you've solved the problem with the baby). At 10 months old he does not need to nurse every few hours at night, not for his nutrition anyway, unless he has some kind of medical condition that you haven't mentioned. It sounds like he is doing this out of longtime habit. You do not have to wean him during the day if you're not ready to, but yes, he's old enough to break this habit at night. Unfortunately this is never easy and in the short term it will cost you all more sleep, but at this point you need to look at the bigger picture: long-term, the whole family will be better rested if everyone's sleeping through the night. My firstborn was in this same habit and I didn't break his nursing-at-night habit til he was 11 months old. It was not easy but I should've done it months earlier. I hate letting babies cry at night but you will probably have to do some form of this. We followed what I think is called the Ferber method -- the first few nights you pick him up and comfort him but do not nurse him at night. (If your husband is home, ideally your hubby should go to the baby at night from now on so your son can more quickly break his association between being awake and wanting to nurse.) From there, move on to not picking him up out of his crib, maybe just talking quietly to him or rubbing his back. From there you progress to not approaching his crib, maybe just whisper to him from across the room. Eventually he will learn that nighttime is for sleeping and that no matter how much of a fuss he makes, he will NOT be getting to nurse and he won't be getting a lot of attention or excitement from mom or dad during the night. ... Now all that said, this process is extremely difficult when you're in the same room, because if he's awake he's likely to scream because he can see you but isn't getting what he wants. If your husband is away half the year, can you move your children into the other room while he's gone? If not and everyone is stuck in a single room, can you set up some kind of partition or curtain around your 10-month-old's bed so he can't see you? If so, you may have to do that first so he's accustomed to not being able to see you when he wakes up (and if you're REALLY lucky, just having you out of sight MAY break his dependence on you in the night?!?). Then after a week or two start weaning him at night. Don't worry about the lack of breastfeeding at night. At 10 months he should be getting enough breast milk and/or solid foods during the day that he doesn't need to eat during the night. Good luck. This is really hard but you will be so relieved when this is behind you!