Adoption - Pasadena,TX

Dear V. B,

Both my boys are adopted. I have had them since birth. We started out by joining a group Adoption Advocates Advisory. They meet in Northwest Austin. They are a support group for all parties involved in adoption, the birth parents, the adopted, and adoptive parents.

Luckily we live in a state where the laws for adoption are simple.

You need to think about what kind of adoption relationship you want as parents; if a anglo, bi-racial, foreign (non-American) child is what you want. Thirdly, do you want a private adoption or go through an agency.

We used an agency in Dallas. We also interviewed and agency in San Antonio. I have many friends that have adopted children, and each family has its own unique story.

Like many others, I could probably write a book. I will end it by saying we have one Hispanic child and one bi-racial (Hispanic and anglo) child and believe it or not they actually look like brothers (two different sets of birth parents).

I hope this gives you a good starting point.

Peace,
C. M.

A little about me: SAHM to two wonderful boys (ages almost 10 and almost 6) and married to my knight in shinning armor.

We have 3 adopted children that we got at birth. We used a wonderful agency in Richmond, Tx. If you have any questions I would love to help, but do not know anything about not going through an agency.

Tell your doctor that you would like to adopt and they usually will call you when a mom to be is wanting to give up their baby for adoption. An OBGYN would be the best to tell. I had a friend that did this.

I just want to add to what the first poster said about adopting from a hospital...when I was going through infertility treatments, a friend of mine who had tried unsuccessfully to have a baby told me that a relative of hers who was an ER doc in a hospital told her to let him know if she ever decided to adopt and he'd make sure he found a baby for her. By the time I was trying for a baby, she had gotten divorced and was no longer interested in adopting, but she offered to speak to her relative about me in the event that my husband and I decided on adoption. I ended up getting pregnant soon after that conversation, so I never took her up on her offer, but if you know any doctors or nurses working in hospitals, you might want to 'pick their brains' and see what they know about how this works. From what my friend told me, it seemed like it would be the quickest, most painless way of adopting a newborn baby, if that's what you want to do. Best of luck to you!

If you don't use an agency...like other said, find an excellent not just a good or average attorney but an EXCELLENT one with a lot of experience in family/adoption law. And like said before have every possible father sign away rights before you take the baby into your home.

My mother worked as a foster mother for two different agencies, keeping babies between the hospital and placement (I think now most adoptive families go straight to the hospital, but 30 years ago it was different). Both agencies were well run and very efficient...but even so there was an adopted child pulled from a great home, months after placement, because the mother lied about who the father was and the father came back and petitioned and won custody.

My own cousin adopted outside an agency the mother was a friend of a friend through church. Once again the bio father petitioned and was granted custody, but he didn't show up to pick up the baby. THANK GOD !! So the judge awarded my cousin full custody by default. (She was sitting at the court house with her son and all his things packed to hand over to a stranger...I fully feel God intervened).

A couple in our Sunday school class, though an agency, flew to California to pick up their new baby. They picked him up at the hospital, took him back to the hotel with them for 2 days...and then the birth mom decided not to finalize the papers. They named him, sent out pictures to all of us...and were a complete family for 48 hours. They came home in mourning the loss of their son.

Be very very careful with going about this...be smart and read up on the law, and most of all pray (if you do pray) because the road to adoption can be very rocky. My own sister was adopted and we waited holding our breath 60 days while notice was served in papers across the country looking for her birth father. He never responded and my parents were awarded custody. She was living with us and already my sister in my heart.

There are many children needing good homes...just do your homework, oh and read up on attachment disorders too...especially if you decide to adopt older children.

Sending you a hug...good luck!!

Talk with your family Dr. and see what he says, talk with your church if you have one.

I add to the people who recommend you do the foster/adoption route through Child Protective Services. Yes, it's a lot of bureaucracy and red tape, but this will help prepare you for adoption and prepare you to be a good family for your child.

Foster/adoption means you are dually liscensed to be a foster parent as well as an adoptive parent. Only if you are dually liscensed can they place a child in your home before the birthparents' rights have been terminated. This is important if you want to adopt an infant or very young child. As others have mentioned, many babies go straight into foster care as soon as they are born because the parents have already lost rights on previous children, etc. There is a huge need.

I got my son at two weeks old, and adopted him at 10 mon. My friends got their twins right out of the hospital, and adopted them at 13 months. CPS will tell you that it may take several placements before you get to keep a child, but I think they say that just to be overcautious. Everyone I know ended up adopting the first children placed in their homes.

I should also add that my son (now almost 3) and all the other CPS adopted kids I know are all hale and hearty and healthy, with none of the "issues" that everyone fears foster kids always have. There are wonderful kids out there who need homes. Maybe yours is the right home for them!

We're working on our second adoption right now, which is through an agency because it's international.
We did try to adopt once without an agency.
You need an attorney. If the birthmother is out of state, you will need an attorney in that state also. They can tell you all the requirements. You will want them to have adoption experience.

And, to match with a child, the best thing to do is to get the word out. Someone mentioned your obgyn. That's one place. Tell all your friends. If any of your friends are social workers, make sure they know.
Our match was my mom's hairdresser's client's daughter. Unfortunately (for us), she changed her mind and opted to parent her baby and, lucky for us, made that decision before the end of her pregnancy, but that is a risk even if you go through an agency.
Another time we came close, it was because my friend's mother is a social worker and tried to place a child with us. (And then a religious preference was given by the birth family, so we were eliminated.)

So, get the word out to everyone. You never know when something might happen. Just make sure you get the appropriate lawyers when you do. The birthparents (at least in the states we worked in) have the option of using your lawyers or hiring their own.

If you are trying to simply avoid the cost of an agency, you might also consider CPS. In TX, it's a foster-adopt system, and there may be quite a wait for a healthy infant (most who are available immediately are older sibling groups), but that's another option.

V.,
I don't know how much research you have done or where you live, but private adoptions are few and far between now. You will need to find an attorney that handles adoptions and he or she will put it all in motion. Most private adoptions is where the adoptive parents find the birth mother, and the attorney will do the rest. It is not cheaper to do an adoption this way as you will still need a homestudy done.
Like others on the list it would be simpler to use an agency. You will also protect your self.
There is an awesome adoption agency called generations of hope here in Texas, that is not real expensive. They are great to work with.
We have adopted 2 infants through CPS, and one older chid adoption that cost us fractions of what it would cost other wise.

My first choice would be the department of children and family services in your state. You can adopt a foster child. Most states pay for the care of this child until they are adults. Or, you can get on a list if interested in a newborn. I know of people who adopt healthy newborns from the hospital this way, and it does not cost anything. Agencies charge a lot of money, and it seems that is money better spent on the child.

Child protective service has a program to adopt children, there are classes to attend and lots of children ready and waiting for a good home. Other than that you could run an ad in the paper as lots of other couples do. Make sure you get a good lawyer to handle the situation. Good luck and best wishes. We have six adopted children and they are a joy in our lives.
Blessings,
D.

There is an upcoming conference in Austin Tx on Nov. 13 and 14 hosted by a nonprofit organization called Adoption Knowledge Affiliates, Inc. (AKA) Check out the web site at www.adoptionknowledge.org for more details....This is a WONDERFUL educational organization whose purposes are to foster understanding of adoption issues and to serve as a resource to people whose lives are touched by adoption, the professionals who work them, and the general public. There will be adopted people, adoptive parents, prospective adoptive parents,birth parents, birth grandparents, adoption agengies, and attorneys there that you can discuss the many options regarding adoption........open, closed, international, domestic.......That is where my husband and I first started on our journey and this organization has been incredibly helpful over the years......Good luck......and hope to see you there.
J.

Hi V.
Talk to your dr. - you would want to be sure the mother has had good prenatal care- then you can search out homes for unwed mothers- there is one in Ft. Worth and there is one in Waxahachie. Then there are pastors of churches who could know of unwed mothers.
good luck and blessings

My kids both came through private adoption but we were also approved through an agency. We just kept all options open. This worked well for us and as a matter of fact when our son was born in a different state the social worker from the agency that we were approved from was able to do the inter-state compact that was required. I wonder if you even knew you would need this? There is a great deal to learn. Open or closed adoption? What if the birth mom does not want to disclose who the father is? BY the way -- RUN! Biracial or not?

If you live in Austin-feel free to contact me. I have some great books that I share with others and will happily share with anyone here who is considering. I have been there and done that! I have 2 through adoption, one was an out of state Caucasian closed adoption that I worked to get open, then I have a local private attorney (can highly recommend her as she is competent, truthful and caring about all parties to the adoption triangle) adoption of a bi-racial child and then we got the surprise of being PG after 9 years of trying. We lost a great deal of money to one birthmother who in the end asked for a large sum of money and we had to decline and then we had a baby given to us for 10 days when the birthmother discovered that she would lose her welfare check so she took the child back and gave her to someone who would not do a formal adoption. SO_BEEN THERE AND DONE THAT and helped other not make the mistakes that we did.

You are welcome to email me if you or anyone here needs an ear or more information or books to read.

I wish you well and hope you get the family you desire.

D.
I have 2 Marine kids both male and female and 1 officer in the making and happily married. And the lucky grandma of one!

It is wonderful that you want to adopt! As a social worker who has worked in this field, my advice would be to go with an agency; however, if you do not want to use an agency make sure that you find an attorney who has experience in this field. In particular, you want to make sure that the attorney is very careful to get relinquishment from all possible fathers because when they do not it is possible to have those horror stories that you hear on the news about adopted children being taken from adoptive parents. Also, I believe another poster already stated this, but adopting through CPS is another great way to start a family and help children in need, plus there can be great benefits such as medicaid, free legal expenses, and paid state college tuition if your child qualifies. Hope that helps!

Ecc. 3 is a great help for remembering that God's got a plan. When my husband & I went through our daughter's adoption, those verses were very helpful. Ours was a private adoption that got started through a friend of a friend. Remembering that God has a plan will make your journey easier. Not easy, just easier. Good Luck!

You didn't mention what age you want. We went through the Tx Protctive Services. (Foster care)
We got our girls when they were 5 and 7. They're now 15 & 17.