Adopting...how To Explain to a 3 Year Old

I would just tell her that some people get baby brothers and sisters because they grow in their mommy's belly, and some people get them from adoption. Explain to her that sometimes a baby grows in a mommy's belly, but that mommy cannot take care of the little baby, so she gives it to someone who really really wants to have a baby at their house. There are TONS of children's books and materials to help little ones adjust to the idea of a new sibling who is adopted. Check out your local library, online and the bookstore. I'm sure your adoption agency may also have some good recommendations.

Hi Shannnon,

Just be honest with her. Remind her that she's been asking and she or he will be there soon. Tell her that the baby will be there forever and part of the family just like you and Daddy are...It's not much different than having a baby, and there's no childbirth questions :) If you want to take it further, ask her to help you prepare for the baby's arrival with setting up the nursery or buying diapers, etc...

This should be an incredibly exciting time for her and fun for all of you. God bless you for taking in a little one that needs you!

M.
www.squidoo.com/ifyourbabycouldtalk

We just adopted a baby boy and we have a 3 year old! To prepare her we talked very openly about it. She came from my belly and her brother is coming from someone's belly that cannot care for him. God blessed our family with him. We also read and still read many adoption friendly books that help us talk about every family looking different. It was a very smooth transition for us. She is such a good big sister and is in love with her little brother! I am sure your 3 year old will handle it perfectly well! Good luck to you all. What a blessing!
I want to add we did not tell her until the day we brought him home. We did not want the birth mom not to sign her rights away and we would have to explain everything to her. That is too confusing for a three year old. We prayed with her every night that God would bring a baby brother or sister into her life. She actually asked us to do this every night! We went to the hospital after she signed her rights away and took a picture. The next day we showed our daughter her baby brother and told her we would bring him home. It did not go over too well, but after 24 hours she was great! When bringing baby home remember a gift for the three year old! That always helps.

Three-year-olds are great because they are still at a stage when they're learning about the world and there are so many first discoveries and connections being made. I would simply say, "This baby needs a home and we thought that we could be a good family for him/her. Here's a special sibling for you to love and take care of."

I would just treat it as an ordinary thing. You're bring a new baby in to the home. At 3 I don't think she's gonna question HOW. My son only started asking at 6 how his brother and sister got here. When I was pregnant with our now 5yr old son, I let my now *yr old (was 3 at the time) help out. He got a new chest-of-drawers and so together we moved his cloths from the "baby" dresser to his new "BIG BROTHER" Chest. He helped pick out cloths and plan. When I got pregnant w/ their sister, BOth helped(youngest son 3 at the time) build the crib,decorate area...etc.hen our daughter(now 19months)was born,both boys were pacing worse than an expectant father w/ toys they bought for her. bottom line involve you're child with the whole thing and let her help. She is a lot brighter than you can ever begin to imagine

UMMMMM..I have not done this, but I would think that you do it the same way that you get ready for a biological baby.

You let her help you to prepare the nursery, do the laundry, the shopping--let her participate in the shower-- and prepare!! Let her pick some things out for the baby. It sounds like you are not giving a three year old enough credit. And pick out and hide a present for her from the baby when the baby arrives. Make a big deal about her being the big sister. The more time that you give her to get ready the less sibling rivalry and adjustment issues you will encounter. You would not just dissapear and go to the hospital and come home with a baby without telling your child what was happening would you?

You have things that you do when you are having a child that can mark a new addition and it is the same no matter how that addition comes. I would think that the only thing that would be hard for her is if the adoption fails in some way. I would be cautious about that. I have four children and all of them were terrific about preparing for a sibling.

My now seven year old, when told that a new baby was coming told his older siblings, "Great, let's go outside and wait for the new baby to come" and the eleven year old explained that it would take longer than that.