ADHD Help

Updated on April 02, 2009
E.F. asks from Herndon, VA
25 answers

Hi - my son is 6 1/2 years old and in first grade. He has been having problems all school year with his hyperactivity. We've had problems on and off with him at home for years as well, but it's really become a problem now that he has to sit still, pay attention, and follow directions in school. His teacher has been very helpful & we finally got him tested after months of trying to get an appointment. He did test positive for ADHD & we have an appointment this coming Friday to get him on medication. Do any of you have any experience on this or advice? He seems to go through stages where he is more hyper than others. These past 2 weeks have been crazy and my patience & my husband's patience are wearing thin. Any words of wisdom, support, or ideas you have would be appreciated. It would help just to hear about others who have been through this. Thanks!

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Thank you everyone for taking the time to send me your responses! I appeciate all the information I can get. I will probably be emailing several of you individually with follow up questions. I have another concern - My son's teacher thinks he should probably be retained (repeat first grade next year), although he has improved tremendously over this school year (he couldn't read at the beginning & now can read almost anything, drastic improvement in handwriting (although still not great), already does well in math, and is "on level" for everything). The 2 child psychiatrists we've seen for the ADHD testing and follow-up both do NOT think being retained is a good idea. The teacher has been very helpful all year with keeping me posted on his behavior, etc. in class and I really do think she is thinking of my son's best interest. But, which is the correct choice?? It is a big decision. Do any of you know anything about that in relation with ADHD?

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A.D.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi E.,
I am not sure if you tried diets instead of meds. My then 4yo son was the same way. Some days good most days crazy. Heard constantly from teachers the "he couldn't stay on task", "couldn't sit still", "couldn't keep hands to himself", and other phrases. One day it clicked, my cousin's son was allergic to RED DYE 40!!! RD40 is in TONS of stuff. Meds, Juice Boxes, Vitamins, Lots of Chocolate & Candy, Gatorade......the list goes on forever!!
We threw out everything in the house that had RD40. Within 3 days he was a totally different kid! He also had hyper days when he took allergy meds (seasonal) and he ate High Fructose Corn Syrup so we have switched all the allergy meds and snacks. Please consider these options before ADD meds. Friends have put their kids on these meds and ran into hormonal and thyriod issues.

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A.L.

answers from Norfolk on

hi E.- my son 8 1/2 years old just got diognosed about 3 months ago and he is on medication since about 5 weeks now.i was scared and very concerned about the medication but i thought i will give it a try.and his behavior has changed, primarily in school.and he is happy with it , because he was often so unhappy with his behavior in school , like he knew he could not control himself, like he was standing in his on way.
he was always more aktiv and more hyper then other kids, already back in daycare he was a L. all over the place. and the only side affects he has right now are loss of appetitte.

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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi E..

First of all, I will be very blunt, because I have a 3 year old son, I am a teacher and I care about the wellbeing of other children. Please don't have your son put on medication. If they insist (the powers that be) that he has to in order to stay at the school, you should remove him from the school.

Here are some quotes taken from a Citizen's Commission on Human Rights pamphlet I have: "We are drugging entirely normal children. ADHD is 100% fraud." - Fred Baughman, Jr. M.D. Pediatric neurologist

Psychiatrists misleadingly argue that ADHD requires "medicatiion" in the same way that diabetes requires insulin treatment. On this, Dr. Block is very adamant: "Let me clear this up right now. ADHD is not like diabetes and [the stimulant used for it] it is not like insulin. Diabetes is a real medical condition that can be objectively diagnosed. ADHD is an invented label with no objective, valid means of identification. Insulin is a natural hormone produced by the body and it is essential for life. [This stimulant] is a chemically derived, amphetamine-like drug that is not necessary for life. Diabetes is an insulin deficiency. Attention and behavioral problems are not a [stimulant] deficiency."

There are many drug-free alternatives that work very well. Also remember that each child is different. My 3-year old is very active, but we use better communication, natural-based supplements and vitamins with him. Additionally, the school I teach at is a private school and does not advocate the use of harmful drugs to correct child behavior. We look at things such as study barriers that can be corrected with tutoring, environmental factors (home, school and elsewhere the child frequents), quality of sleep and nutrition. Also, my husband and I look within ourselves to work toward doing all we can to help our son be more emotionally and spiritually healthy.

Also, please visit the website CCHR.org and click on "Solutions and Alternatives" in the left column of topics displayed. 800-869-CCHR is their #. There are also real stories you can view and listen to on the site about children who have been given drugs. Please contact me with any questions. I want your son to be able to do well in life, not having his safety jeopardized.

M.

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K.L.

answers from Norfolk on

I do not have a child w/ adhd but I have some experience w/ them. I just have a few tips Ive learned from myself and from friends w/ kids w/ adhd.
I do know that sometimes it takes time to get the right meds that will work for your specific child. And it also takes time to adjust the right dose. If one med doesnt work, try another. Be patient.
Also, some parents find their child seems depressed, tired or having no appetite on the drugs. Sometimes thats an adjustment issue, it could also be too strong of a dose as well. Some parents dont give the meds on the weekend, to give the kid a break.
Structure is good for them as well. But at the same time dont be so rigid as to not allow them to be who they are. I had a friend who had 2 students w/ adhd in her 4th grade class. She let them sit at the back of the room because they would disturb the class. This worked for them because they were able to stand or sit and be fidgety w/out being a disturbence. I thought this was a great idea.
I hope you find the right med for your son and see some improvement soon.

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K.H.

answers from Washington DC on

I like books for support. Try edward hallowell, delivered from distraction. I also found Dr. Amen's book really helpful. The Hallowell website has great information. There are several doctors doing work on redefining ADD and figuring out the special gifts it brings while still acknowedging the challenges. I really like, The Spirited Child too.

When my kids were young like yours, we had the best success with lots of physical exercise, even in the cold and rain, as well as the Feingold Program to help their nutrition, and the "1, 2, 3 Magic" book for a discipline plan that allowed all of us to take the emotion out of the frustration and stay calm so we could keep the joy in the boys' lives. Some teachers were better than others. I really believe that not all young boys can sit still and that making them feel bad about that inability is very sad. I placed my third son at a different school and never received the phone calls or requests for meetings and he is so much more confident and happy. I'd help in the classroom and see him standing up to do his work, walking around when he finished to help other kids or just show them the stuff he brought to school (like rocks or dinosaurs) or to get a book and sit on a bean bag to read it. The teacher didn't get thrown off by kids working standing up or by the walking around. It was a controlled situation but with joyful sounds of children working rather than a stifling sadness. My son never noticed that he was different. Sometimes one of the girls would ask me clean up his desk with him when it was spilling over. At the other school, the teachers would ask the wiggly boys, "why can't you sit still? What is wrong with you?" They took my happy son and made him feel like a criminal. It is now many years later, he sits still more often but still speaks up too frequently for some teachers. He still thinks that there is something wrong with him even though he is creative, outgoing, energetic, and bright.

Good luck.

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A.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I have 2 kids w/ ADD. I have seen alot of changes with the treatmets and the approaches. I suggest you get onto the site called ADDitudemagazine.com . Check out this site, even subscribe to the magazine. It's been a wonderful resorce for my husband and myself. Lots of tips, medicle advise interesting articles, and gadgets to purchase that will help with managing time and schedules.
Good Luck!

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D.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi E.- Well, you have certainly taken the first step by seeing a child psychiatrist. If, by any chance, you want a second opinion from an expert on ADHD,please send me a note and I will put you in touch with him. Many practitioners just prescribe medication for hyperactive symptoms because there is no real "test" for ADHD, only a checklist of symptoms. Next, I suggest reading the work of Daniel Amen, who has written extensively on ADHD and has several books out. He also offers nutritional and more natural ways of helping to control hyperactivity. He also does brain imaging and has an office in Reston, but that can be very costly. Many children respond well to diet and supplements alone, while others may need medication. You may have read in the Washington Post last week about ADHD and the long-term effects. While we do not know what the long term effects of medication are for our children, we need to weigh that with helping them learn and thrive in their home, school and community. If medication helps your child to focus and learn, you have most of the battle won. Best of luck!

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J.F.

answers from Richmond on

Dear E.,
Great nutrition makes a huge difference! Load him up on fruits, veggies, whole grains, legumes, raw nuts. Lay off processed foods as much as possible.
Blessings!
J. F.

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S.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Keep a food, activity & behavior journal for a couple weeks. Some children have adverse reactions to certain foods and food additives. See if there is a pattern. Good luck!

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B.G.

answers from Washington DC on

So my daughter is 13 now, diagnosed ADHD when she was 7 and I knew she was more hyper than most by the age of 3 so I've been dealing with this a long time! She did start medication and has been on all of them at some point or another. Some work well and then fizzle out so you try another one, some you just have to keep upping the dose. But I will say the medication helped a lot. One thing to watch for is that the medication can stunt their growth so I would take her off medicine from time to time usually around typical growth spurt ages. She is a normal 5'3" right now (I am 5'4"). Read the Explosive Child by Ross Greene, and check out Russell Barkley who is an expert on ADHD. I was all into doing charts and stickers when my daughter was younger and that worked well until she was about 10. Good luck!

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S.M.

answers from Washington DC on

E.
Please be careful as you read these replies. There are a lot of people out there with their own agendas on ADHD. Find a doc/psychiatrist/psychologist you trust. You are the parent and do what you think is best for your child. If it is diet then do it. If it is drugs, then do it. And don't let anyone make you feel bad about what you have decided. 60 to 70 percent of individuals with ADHD have addiction problems as well so you are right to want to address it. I grow weary of people telling other people not to take a certain approach on something. Every child is different. ADHD can often be comingled with other issues as well. Diet doesn't work for everyone. Do what YOU think is best. Good luck!

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K.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi E.,

I have 2 sons with ADHD, although with very different presentation. One is inattentive dominant while the other is hyper-impulsive dominant. This is a disorder which truly affects the whole family. You will need to have lots of patience, but there are ways to help. We've been through many medications/doses, but seem to have found ones that work for our sons. We struggled greatly with the decision to medicate. When we finally did, I nearly cried the 1st day my son came home from school. He had a note from the teacher about how well he did that day attached to a writing assignment-before meds, he could barely write 2 horribly sloppy sentences (2nd grade) and this paper was completely filled with a neatly written story. He is now in honors classes in middle school, although he still struggles to stay on task.

Feel free to send me a message if you want more specific advice about different meds, etc. Hang in there. It is a tough road, but celebrate his energy!

K.

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J.A.

answers from Norfolk on

My 5 1/2 yr old son was diagnosed in january with ADHD and I had him put on meds in February. It was one of the best things I could have done. My son had problems with his attention and I was having trouble getting him to go to school in the morning, not getting work done, and getting very defient when he did not get his way. He is now on meds during school only and I have noticed a big change at home. He likes going to school now and I am not fighting with him like I was. Please read up on the subject, there are many signs and behaviors that these kids have that people do not recognize. If you continue to have problems with behaviors you can try a behavior chart also. I also got my son into soccer, although he still has tons of energy. You can message me if you have any questions or if you want somebody to talk to. I know what you are going through. J.

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B.D.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi E.! My son is ADD/ADHD. I also have another that is ADD. The older one is 11 and has been on meds for 4 years. The other is 9 and we just started him on meds. My husband and I were totally against medicating until we tried it. Their grades went from D's to A's and B's right away. We started them on Adderall which works well, but we had our oldest switched to VyVanse which is a long lasting pill which lasts in his system longer through the day. So when he is doing homework in the evening he can still concentrate. The Adderall seemed to wear off a little faster. The nice thing about both of these is that they don't stay in your system. They are out of your system before the next pill comes the next day. That is the main reason I recommend either one of them. We started with the smallest dose and had to go back every two weeks until we got the dosage right. The only side effect we had from the meds was loss of appetite which returned normal in a few weeks. So your son may lose a few pounds in the beginning, but I'm certain he will gain them back. Hope this helps. Feel free to contact me if you would like to chat.

B. Deck
____@____.com
www.ubah.com/X2733

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T.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I will echo what another mom said, which is to beware of folks with agendas on this issue. The best thing you can do is to educate yourself, and to find the best possible medical advice. I sound like a broken record on this subject, since I've posted on this before, but: there's no substitute for a complete neuropsychiatric evaluation done by top-rate professionals. This is a day-long series of tests, and it's expensive (though usually coverage by insurance these days)--but it's worth it. It will really help you pinpoint where your kid needs help, and give you some idea of the direction to go in. The crisics of ADHD have a point when they say it's not a disease like diabetes,because it's not. It's a complex disorder and it usually comes bundled with other issues--an anxiety disorder, or sensory integration issues, or social skills problems. What you need to do is to assemble the right team for your child--a good psychiatrist, a therapist, a social skills group, an occupational therapist...there's lots of possibilities. For testing, the best places to go are Kennedy Kreiger in Baltimore or Children's in D.C. There are good private doctors who do this but the good ones do not participate with insurance plans (long story, don't get me started), so those two institutions are your best bet. I would hold off on doing anything until you get the testing done. If you want to go to Children's (I am in the process of getting one of my daughters re-evaluated), the Children's website offers you a way to apply online.

If medication is indicated, then do it. The most recent research (see Washington Post story from Friday, 3/27) raises some question about how well drugs work in the long-term, but it's pretty clear that for younger children who need help, they can be a very useful tool to get them "over the hump," so to speak, until they're old enough to develop the organizational skills they need. And some people do need meds long-term. Please feel free to contact me off-line if you'd like any more info; I've been an ADHD parent for the better part of a decade now, and have had a chance to learn all kinds of things. Finally, just remember: your son will do just fine.

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M.P.

answers from Norfolk on

hi my name is M. and my son has been diagnosed with adhd since the 2nd grade...he has been on multiple meds. during his primary school yrs it seemed that concerta was the best med with the least side effects. Be aware that he will probably lose weight and not be as hungry at the normal meal times and the evening hours he may get more hungry and want to eat very often. I am a mom I have a 14 yr old son who is adhd and a 4 and 5 yr old that have not shown any symptoms yet. Also monitor the meds because often the doses may have to be changed and the actual medication may have to be changed. Another good source of advise is now that when a child is adhd they can get all the special help in the schools all the way through college. This is something that I did not know until I switched doctors when my son was in middle school. They are eligible to take test in a quiet environment and to get a longer period of time when it comes to timed tests. They can also get the extra help in reading comprehension and math. This kind of help does not put a special needs label on your child, so do not be concerned about that. Check with your school they will probably do a psychiatric evaluation on him. My email is ____@____.com if you have any other questions. I hope this was some help to you and good luck.

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T.W.

answers from Washington DC on

You are not alone!!! I am a mother of a almost 6yrs old boy with ADHD. I was prewarned when I found out his father was diagnosed as a child, and when he was in preschool the teacher said she saw a few signs she recognized as dealing with her own son. SO, when we started Kindergarden all the gloves where off, the teahcer was miserable and constantly separated him, singled him out, sent home rude notes, and finaly we had enough. I had him tethe class tested knowing it would be positive. I had to this point taken many measures to adjust at home. The problem came when it interfered with his education. The teacher wanted him removed from the class he had tested into, quite well I might add. I refused for her to hold him back. We talked to our doc and he recommended, a small dose of Adderall. The is a 4hr controled release form that helps him when he is at school. After the first day, the teacher was already writing less rude notes. We changed schools because of the mistreatment and found him blossoming. He has become so much more engaged and unvolved. I am so glad I moved him into an envirnment he could feel comfortable in enough to ask for help. Enough of my babble, since the meds he has become a much better envolved student becasue he can focus on 1 task at a time. He has become a better boy at home because he can follow thru the direction I give him. I think he all around a better boy because he can focus so much more and therefore learn and ask the questions he is thinking without running off onto something else. I am glad we made the leap but I am glad we waited because the transition was much easier with a boy who understands and another person thaqt can give me honest feedback on his action when I am not there.
T.

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I don't have any experience with ADHD, so I'm not sure if my input will help much, but my son started putting on weight in first grade. They get into school and they hear "No running" all the time, and it seems to be snack, snack, snack with most of the snacks being candy and cookies and horrible junk food. I don't know how severe the problems are with your son, but if I were in your situation, I think I'd try looking at diet and exercise to see if it made any difference, and go for the medication as a last resort. It's hard to sit still through school, but maybe if he has other times of strenuous exercise, he'd be able to make it through the school day. My son loves his tae kwon do class - he goes 4 days a week after school. Soccer is good too, lots of running around, but a bit weather dependent. Gymboree has some good classes, too.

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K.H.

answers from Norfolk on

My daughter was diagnosed as ADHD when she was five. She was on Ritalin at seven, but by eleven she had unusually high pressure in her eyes. Pure chance we found out as they do not routinely check the pressure in Children's eyes. We had to take her off medication. All the time, on and off medication, I had stopped her having sugar, which did help enormously. even a small amount would trigger her hyperactivity. I could tell the moment she came home from school that she had had some. It would take three to four days for the effects to get out of her system. People would say 'A little bit won't hurt" but trust me a little bit can hurt and can completely wreck the child's behaviour. It was a very difficult regime, but we got through it and she got through school. She is now 32. There are far more sugar free things available now and there is also an organisation to support parents with ADHD children. I forget the name but you can google it. You will need all the help you can get. ADHD children are a trial and can have a very bad effect on their siblings who tend to get left out as the ADHD child grabs all the attention. Good luck and get help it will make life easier.

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S.W.

answers from Norfolk on

Hi E.,

My heart goes out to you. We had sort of similar situation with our son but we found the school environment was the issue not our son. Once we changed that he was/ is WONDERFUL!! Have you ever considered homeschooling as an option? LOTS of folks are doing it, its great! Another thought with ADHD is to change his diet before you jump to meds for him. Lots of the meds have serious side effects and no long term studies on their effect on kids. Check out www.drfuhrman.com for diet ideas.

Good luck!
S.

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A.Z.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi E.,
I have a friend who has had positive results just by changing her daughter's diet. I think I would probably try that first and give it 2 or 3 months, and see if it works before putting him on medicine.

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J.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I too have a 6 1/2 y/o son who is ADHD. We were just diagnosed early February but knew something was going on since the beginning of the school year. He has become quite a problem in school and was a constant disruption for the teacher and his classmates. He was also getting very angry and was even suspended for hitting his teacher (twice!) My husband and I were sooooo stressed. Just a couple weeks into the school year, his teacher advised us of the problem. She never offered any 'diagnosis' (some teachers do - but they shouldn't) just wanted to work with us to see what could be done. His school/teacher helped by offering him a reward system for good behavior and tried a few other tactics, and even had the alternative ed teacher sit with him in the classroom in the mornings to keep him on task. These all helped but did not 'fix' the problem. We put him right away in therapy not sure if it was anger management or something more, but we knew we just didn't know what else to do. After seeing his therapist for a while, she suggested we take him to a child psychiatrist for an ADD/ADHD evaluation. We did, and it is ADHD. After much research on ADHD and the various medications, we agreed to meds and he was prescribed Focalin XR 5mg 1x day. The doc will tell you that you will notice a difference within 30 minutes and you really do. We've kept him in therapy because so much of the hyper activity becomes learned even if it started as something they couldn't control, and he needed to unlearn some of these behaviors. He's doing so well. We got lucky in that he's had no side effects from the meds. We're still keeping an eye out for anything that may develop. He is doing soooooo much better in school, his handwriting has drastically improved, he has even been moved up to the GT math class. They knew he belonged there but with the behavior issues, they just couldn't do it.

Anyway, I know what you are going through, and I do sympathize. Meds can be a salvation when all else fails, but PLEASE research any and all meds he is given. Be aware of the side effects and keep a close eye out for them. Sometime things don't seem like a side effect but they really are and you won't know it unless you do your research. I'd suggest therapy at least for a while to work on the transition and to help him unlearn some of those bad behaviors.

Feel free to contact me again if you'd like!!
____@____.com

Julie

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M.C.

answers from Dover on

Hi E.-first let me say I do not have a child with ADD/ADHD. I wonder sometimes because I've read all the symptoms, but at this point my almost 6 year old is doing fine and I'm not necessarily worried. I just watch to see how she develops. I do know people who are going through what you're going through and I do know what they've told me is a big thing they've changed and that is environmental factors within their homes. Apparently, there has been much research found regarding toxins in the home affecting children with ADHD. Since ADHD comes from issues within the brain, there has been much noted about how the chemicals within all of our household cleaners and other products interfere with normal brain function. Specifically, disinfectants & detergents, makeup and skin care products-these things contain chemicals that are carcinogens, endocrine disrupters (disrupting the neuron transmissions from the brain), and pesticides. All these things are very important to not only keep from our families, our children, but most importantly children with ADD/ADHD. The National Cancer Coalition has reported a more than 20% increase in childhood leukemia because of increased pesticides--these pesticides are unbelievably in our homes.
The reason I know so much and hear these things is because of the company I'm partnered with (and I honestly am not looking to make a sale here) has all the alternative products you need to replace all the harsh chemicals in your home. I've done it. I'm trying to give my family a fighting chance against all the stuff these companies have been making our products with all these years. I'm just done! So, I partnered with the company for physical wellness and now for financial wellness-but that's another aspect of the company. My goal is to inform people, hopefully give some insight/education, and the resource to get those things out of your home to keep everyone safer and healthier.
You've probably done research yourself and may have come to the same conclusions about all the chemicals in our children's lives today. I'm sure you've also read about dietary changes-no greasy, fatty foods, sugar, etc. Incidentally, these pesticides and endocrine restricters are fat soluble so they are difficult to eliminate from the body. I know of one woman's story who put my company's FiberWise powder in with her son's smoothie to not only help him pass these toxins, but keep him regular which makes him less cranky-a good thing for a child with ADHD.
Sorry about the book I've written, but I hope this gives you some insight on at least what factors can potentially make a difference in your child's condition-and just the difference in your family's overall health. I'd be happy to hook you up with more information on how to get all these products, but that's up to you. Just let me know. You won't find them anywhere else and they are no more expensive if not cheaper than everything we buy at the store.
Good luck. I hope this helps.
M.

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K.F.

answers from Washington DC on

It's good that you are scheduling an appointment - that will help. Also - not sure what his diet is (I see some other posters have mentioned this as well), but sugary and processed foods can contribute to hyperactivity (maybe why some days are better than others), as well as sleep! I always thought the more well-rested, the more hyper, because they would have energy to spare...but actually it's the opposite - they will have a better balance with more sleep, so I would make sure he gets at MINIMUM 10 hours of sleep, but preferable 12. Kids that age need all the sleep they can get. I would have to force my kids to stay in bed - they would try to get up early...and I would put them to bed early as well. Also - lots of outdoor play during daylight hours - so as soon as he can, make him play less video games, watch tv shows, etc and have him exercise and play outdoors....that will help him burn some energy and focus on tasks when the time is right. Also - make sure you are firm and loving - don't let him get away with his over-active behavior. Let him know there are boundaries and there's a time and place for everything. He will get the hang of controlling himself...even if it is harder for him to do so. Sleep, exercise, and diet/nutrition solve a ton of problems - the three of them together are great!!

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