Adding a Pet to the Family

Updated on January 24, 2009
A.T. asks from Chesapeake, VA
28 answers

Hi Everyone,
My husband and I have been discussing adding a dog to our family. We are renting and are allowed one "small" dog. (25 lbs) We have a daughter who will be 2 in May and I want to get a dog that is good with children. I know a lot has to do with getting it young and training it,but I've read that even with training some dogs can still be aggressive. I am looking to see if any of you with small children have dogs and if so what kind and have you ever had ANY aggression issues? Please help. We don't want to get a dog and have to give it to the pound b/c it doesn't work out. Our child is first priority which is why we are "looking" instead of just "getting" right now.

Thanks for your help

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P.W.

answers from Norfolk on

Hi A.,

I just wanted to add after reading some of the posts that cairn terriers can be very nice. I have two and we have a 19 month old daughter. They have never shown any aggression toward her and she likes them. I will say though that in general it is a big challenge at times having dogs when you have a young child especially with a dog that is new to the house or a puppy.

Good Luck,
PW

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T.F.

answers from Washington DC on

I can tell you one breed to avoid - Jack Russell Terriers. They have a sweet side, but also have a very aggressive side. They're also very high energy. I have 3, which is too many. They'll test a person's sanity.

I've also heard that Cocker Spaniels are not good with children.

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J.T.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi A.! I have two children, 10 and 2. We got 3 beagles, (i know- what was I thinking!) a year before our youngest was born and haven't had any problems at all. They love our girls and are very protective of them. When the baby was born, one of the girls would sit at her bassinet and if the baby started to cry, she would "come and get me". You might want to look into a beagle.

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L.F.

answers from Norfolk on

We had a Lhasa Apso and had to get rid of him when our son was born. They are NOT good with children.

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K.G.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi A.!

We have a yellow lab that we absolutely love! That breed won't meet your weight requirement (she's over 60 lbs.) but with proper and consistent training early on, she has been the best dog! I've never had any worries about her being around my son, who is now 5 (she is 9). I would stay away from any terrier breeds. They are very high strung, difficult to train, and can be unpredictable. My in-laws have 3 Yorkies, and although they are cute, I am constantly worried that one will snap at my son who may be a little too rough with them, plus they are very noisy. Spaniels have good dispositions and there are many different kinds to choose from that will meet your weight and temperment requirement. Sometimes the best breed is a mixed breed. They sometimes tend to be healthier and have wonderful personalities. Good luck in your search!

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C.L.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi A.-

People may be skeptical to read this, but we have a Doberman Pinscher (full size, 70lbs) and she is WONDERFUL with our 18-month-old son. She is ten years old and we've had her for nine years so our biggest issue is just that she is spoiled (she was our "baby" until we had a human one!) so she gets whiny and needy for attention but NEVER aggressive. She is soooo sweet and puts up with everything our toddler dishes out. This morning, I saw that he had stolen her dog treat from her after she'd eaten the first bite and she still just sat there hoping he'd give it back! Obviously, we are working with him to learn to be gentle with her and he is loving with her, giving her hugs and kisses, but just not as gentle always as we'd all like. Yet, the dog is never in the slightest bit aggressive, no matter what he does. I've never had a male Doberman but I've known several other people with female Dobermans who've had the same experience--they are exceptionally loyal and sweet-natured, despite their reputation. They are protective, it's true, but ours has never been aggressive to anyone, ever, yet I feel assured knowing she would protect us from an intruder. Obviously, Dobermans aren't for everyone but I personally think they are much better with kids than some smaller breeds that are more high-strung and also nervous with little kids who are bigger than they are or even sometimes big labs which are sweet but big and at times hyper and can accidentally knock little ones over. Just my two cents!

-C.

OOPS--sorry I just reread your message and see that you have a 25 lb. weight limit! I guess a Doberman is out!

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A.F.

answers from Washington DC on

We have never owned a pure bred dog. Muts make good pets too. You could visit an SPCA or animal shelter and ask their opinion on dogs behavior. Dogs are smart. Generally they will behave the way you train them to act. They try to please. So if you reward good behavior and scold them for bad behavior, they usually respond with good results. You are wise to look carefully into this matter. A pet can be a beloved blessing or a real headache! AF

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A.W.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi! I love dogs (we have two), but I'd recommend that you wait until your baby is a little older, or until all of your kids are older if you plan to have more. Even the sweetest dog can snap or bite if provoked. Your daughter is going to get more active, more curious, more impulsive as she moves into the toddler/preschool years -- it is going to be hard to watch her and your dog at all times, which is what you have to do anytime they're in the same room. Also think about the time commitment (walking, feeding, training) and the financial commitment (food, training, grooming, medical care, boarding when you go out of town, etc.). You don't want to end up resenting the dog or having to give him or her back -- that is so hard. Just my two cents based on experience; if I had to do it again I would wait on the dogs.

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S.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I have been a HUGE dog lover and have some experience as I worked for a groomer and a kennel when I was going to change careers to get to have my dog at work with me. I had (he passed over a yr ago) a Pembroke Welsh Corgi. They can get to 40 lbs but usually are 20 - 40. They have little stumpy legs and are short so they really are a small dog. They have a big dog, calm temperament and very good health. My experience with Beagles is that everyone I ever knew had their dog run away (the nose thing - they catch a scent and are gone!) Terriers can be yappy and snappy. Dalmatians are popular cos of the movies - but the wrong dogs for families with children. Some of the pure breeds are great but you get into expense (PBGV's, Griffon's,French Bulldogs, Shitzu's, English Bulldogs, etc.) Corgi's are still around 300-400 for a pure breed. The one poster is right - puppies can be a lot of work - it's like having a newborn. Once you settle on a breed you can google to see if there is a rescue organization near you for that breed. Anyone who does rescue will match you with an animal right for your family. They don't want to place an animal from rescue in a 2nd situation that isn't right for the dog.

In closing what I can say about my choice on a Pembroke Welsh Corgi - I researched in a breed book on temperament. They are loving and sweet and the herding group is big on pleasing their master. They are working dogs so they are quite hardy (though little he trained with me for a marathon) And I also noticed that these dogs looked as cute as adults as they did as puppies. My 3 1/2 yr old has always talked about him even though he passed away when our son was 16 months old. He misses "Dickens" and asks if we can have another Dickens-dog to sleep in his bed with him. I love the breed so much that we will have another when the time is right.

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K.L.

answers from Washington DC on

We have a Bichon Frise. We got this breed because everything we read stated they were good with children and other pets. She has never snapped, bitten, or even growled at anyone and she loves to be around kids. The other good part is that they don't shed!!!! They have hair instead of fur so no shedding and they are good for people with animal allergies since they are considered hypoallergenic.

All of the Bichons we have met since all seem to have the same personality: very loving and affectionate, love to play, can be clingy at times, need lots of attention.

I will warn you of several downsides though:
1. Since they have hair instead of fur, you must brush them almost every day and have to get them groomed about every 6 weeks.
2. She was very hard to potty train
3. They do need a lot of attention and can suffer from seperation anxiety

The good outweighs the bad in this breed. We are actually talking about getting another one.

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C.M.

answers from Washington DC on

A lot really depends on the dogs temperment. We have a 1 yr old Chesapeake Bay Retriever, not in your weight limit, that we bought from a breeder in another state. She was well established and chose our dog for us after getting to know us a little and what we needed in a dog. She is sweet and amazingly good with children, especially considering her age. She matched us up perfectly. We got her when she was 3 months old and our youngest was 8 months old. We now have a 3 month old baby and she is great with her too. Defintely take your time and do your research.

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i'd rethink the 'young' part. puppies are a LOT of work, and with a very small child, it's a lot to expect a puppy to just be good with kids when it's still learning what's expected. many slightly older dogs at rescues have complete histories so you can find out if they are good with kids or not. also, many of them might have been fostered, and foster 'parents' tend to be excellent judges of what sort of home the dog would suit.
once you have a nice dog, the most important training is that of the child. our sweet-natured mutt had a couple of encounters with a rough 2yo nephew, and now we have to lock the poor dog up any time they visit.
khairete
S.

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C.K.

answers from Norfolk on

We have a Cockapoo Cocker Spaniel/Poodle mix. This breed is wonderful with kids, small and they do not shed!!!! We got Cujo when my daughter(now 5) was 2 and Cujo was 6 weeks old(my neice got his brother). Now we also have a 2 year old son and boy does he do some wacky things with Cujo, and he just sits there and takes what-ever they do (of course while I am watching and making sure they are not to rough with Cujo) and when he has had enough he will craw into his kennel and curl up in his blanket. I will say he is very protective of the kids when strangers are around. He will circle the kids and bark and growl until the strangers back away. Quite funny coming from a 15 lbs dog but he is very serious. Anyway hope my input helped

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N.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi, A., Pugs are GREAT with kids. Westies are sweet too. Good luck & enjoy! N.

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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Don't do it. Wait a while. With a toddler and training a new dog its a lot of work. toddlers can be rough on even the most good natured dog without meaning to be. I say wait until baby is school age. 5 or so.

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M.C.

answers from Dover on

I have done a lot of research to this too and although we havent gotten one yet I do know what I want when we are ready. I want a King Charles Cavalier. They are small and friendly, very relaxed and laid back. Like to cuddle, arent jumpy or yappy. From what I learned, they arent snippy. Any dog will become angry if a small child hurts it or annoys it but these dogs are known to be calm and almost cat like. Thats why I like them! The problem is as puppies they are very expensive. I want to rescue an older cavalier. You also know their personality by adopting them as adults and they come trained :) Good luck !

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A.D.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi A., The rule of thumb with kids and dogs is , the smaller the dog, the worst with kids. The bigger the dog the better with kids. So a 80 pound lab is better with kids than an 8 pound terrier. Stay away from any dog that has terrier in its name. Jack Russel, Norwich, Carin. Go for a mutt from a pound that is a golden or lab mix. Look to make sure it doesn't have any PURPLE on it's tongue. This indicats a Chow.

Good luck

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J.S.

answers from Washington DC on

A.,

Adding a dog to your family is a great idea. I had gotten another dog about a year and a half ago after the untimely death of our beloved Max (cockerspaniel). I had gotten Tristen (part dachound and part beagle) four days before I found out that I was pregnant. I wasn't quite sure how she would do once the baby (Taylor) arrived. Much to my delight, Tristen took to Taylor immediately. Now that Taylor is becoming mobile and grabs everything, I wasn't sure how Tristen would do with her ears and tail getting pulled. Again, much to my delight, she doesn't mind. I found that Taylor and Tristen have such a close relationship. They are like sisters. Taylor looks out for Tristen and willingly throws some of her food down for Tristen. Tristen protects Taylor from everyone. Tristen has to check out anyone that comes into the house, before she will let anyone near Taylor.

L.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Don't do it.
Go to the neighbors' to get your dog fix.
A one year old and a puppy is a disaster waiting to happen. Get one when your baby is old enough to want one...
Listen to the wisdom of those of us who are older -- don't get a dog yet. WAIT!!!
(I have a dog. I love my dog. My kids are teenagers... My dog came potty trained, leash trained, and was 4 when we got him.)
Don't do it...
LBC

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H.M.

answers from Norfolk on

I have a 2 year old boy and a 7 year old dog. The breed isn't as big a problem as you might think. I have had pit bulls that were much better with children than poodles. The thing you have to be prepared for is your toddler. They don't quite yet understand how to be gentle and any dog when prodded too much can snap at child. I have experienced a few growls and snips when my son was aggravating the dog. Fortuneately nothing serious but we do separate them when we cannot give our full attention to their interaction. I would suggest waiting until your daughter is older or be prepared for lots of training on both sides. Good Luck!

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T.H.

answers from Norfolk on

there are foster places that might work better for you. this way you can try the new puppy and if he doesnt work out return him. good luck.

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M.W.

answers from Washington DC on

We have owned beagles for many years. Although my son was not that small when we got our first, we have observed beagles around small children. We are now participating in a beagle rescue group, and many of the foster dog parents have small children too. Beagles have a very happy and forgiving disposition, and are excellent for small children.

I suggest that you look for an adult dog, because puppies do bite and chew as part of their play, but adult dogs normally have outgrown that. The rescue group that I help has a 'trial basis' program so that you can see if a particular dog fits into your family situation. This organization is Beagle Rescue of Southern Maryland, and they serve MD and North VA.

Overall, even the most severly abused beagles are non-agressive and their small size makes them easy to handle. They can be a bit noisy at times, but this group tries to help the potential adopter select a dog with the personality to fit the needs. And since all of the dogs are in foster care, not in a kennel, they know the personalities of the dogs very well.

http://www.beaglemaryland.org/

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H.D.

answers from Norfolk on

ANY dog can have aggression issues, not just the "normal" bully breeds. Unaltered males are most likely to be aggressive due to territorial issues and the like.

First, do your homework on dog breeds out there. Go to www.akc.org and read through all of the different dog breeds. You would be surprised at what is out there, and please, take your time with your looking. Making a rash decision only hurts everyone, including the dog.

Secondly, if you are renting, check to see what other deposit monies you might have to put down once you do bring a dog into your home. Sometimes the pet deposit is equal to one month's rent; sometimes it's more. You may or may not get this money back once you vacate the property.

Thirdly, I'm going to second beagles, pugs, Westies, and many other small terrier breeds (Wheatons, Skye, Scotties, etc). Beagles are hounds, and yes, their noses can and do get them into trouble! Terriers have their noses in the ground all of the time. (Trust me; we have a large terrier breed. If it's in the dirt and needs sniffed, she's there.) This is where your research is going to come in handy. Check with local rescue organizations and be willing to bring home a mutt. A Heinz 57 is another great breed. And be willing to spend the money on professional obedience training, vet bills, food, toys, etc.

Bottom line: DON'T RUSH THIS! Your family, sanity, daughter, and the dog will thank you!

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L.G.

answers from Washington DC on

I'm probably going to be the only one to tell you to wait.

When my daughter was 2, we got a rescue dog that was kind (completely non-aggressive) but in need of training big time! It's also part of the rescue agreement, and you have to show documentation. (Our dog was about 1.5 years old - not a puppy b/c it was also suggested that we avoid them.)

Since I was at home during that period, I was Alpha Female, which didn't make me happy b/c I was the one who had to train him. So I'd have to find a babysitter to watch my daughter as I lugged the dog to and from sessions. When I arrived home, I had to remind myself that the training had to be reinforced. But when you're watching a 2 year old (and my daughter is very good, believe me) and a dog who both want attention, you have even LESS time to yourself. And even though the dog was gentle, 2 year olds often are not. So I was constantly vigilant, which can wear you out. Keep in mind that you have to train your child, too.

Also, if you don't have a yard, you'll have to walk the dog. Try walking (and leash training) a rescue with a young child by your side. It's very difficult. And grown dogs can also make messes in the home. Our dog, if left alone in the crate for more than an hour (My daughter was in preschool 2x/week back then.), would be absolutely out of control (happy) when he was released from the crate and would go nuts around the house. So we literally had to childproof for the dog - NOT the daughter!

The trainer was also a bit surprised that we had gotten a dog with such a young child b/c the situation really made it impossible for me to follow through on anything with the dog.

Needless to say, we returned him. He's with a great family, which makes me happy, and he's being trained by their 14 yo son.

So before you decide on anything, really think long and hard about this decision. The trainer told me that many rescue dogs are returned for the same reason I mentioned above.

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S.O.

answers from Washington DC on

My suggestion would be not to get a puppy! Puppies chew everything and their little teeth are quite sharp. If you go to a rescue organization or a shelter, ask about a dog who it slightly older and more mature. The shelter or rescue people will know that dog's character because they will have studied and tested the dog to make sure they know what would be the best home for that particular dog. I can recommend the Middleburg Humane Society in Middleburg, VA, as one of the organizations that could really help you out. Good luck, there are a lot of great dogs out there hoping for a home just like yours!

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C.E.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi A... We have a minature dachshund, for our family he is perfect! They get no bigger that 10 pounds. I have five kids, 10, 7, 5, 2 and 11 months. our dog is 2.5 years. When we got our dog I thought we were done having kids so it was perfect our now 5 year old was just over 3, I found out 2 weeks later I was pregnant with our now 2 year old. He has been the best dog. The kids carry him everywhere. My daughter dresses him up, the kids take away his bones while he is chewing them, the babies pet him and tap him (I of course don't let them hit him). We trained him from the time we brought him home by allowing the kids to hold him, by putting our hands in his food dish, by taking away his chew bones, we just wanted him to be really adjusted to all of the kids in the house and he is amazing! I have known 4 other families with minature dachshunds and they too all have children with the same results. One other note, because he is short and our house is noisy we trained him to ring a bell to go outside (really easy, when we were potty training him, literally every time he went outside we took his little foot to the bell by the door and said outside) he now rings the bell with his foot so we know he wants outside. So this is our families experience with a small dog I hope it helps you in a decision for your family. Best of luck to you!

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J.B.

answers from Washington DC on

HI A.! I wanted to suggest you look into getting a beagle. We have had a few beagles (we work with a rescue agency and foster them) over the years, and have owned our own for 4 years- they are just the most amazing dogs i've ever been around. We have an 18month old, and have had the best experience with her and our beagle. Lexy, the beagle, is 4 years old and weighs 22pounds (there are two different weight classes of beagles. look into the smaller ones). SHe doesn't shed much, she's unbeleiveably tolerant of the baby, and loves to snuggle with her and they play well together. This has been true of all 5 beagles we have fostered. I've never had an aggression issue with a beagle (even with a toddler pulling on tails and ears) - i've found that this is a breed that truly values its family and is a true, honest-to-god pack animal, that understands and values its place in the family. Now of course there are dogs in ALL breeds that will have aggression issues and aren't good with children, but the beagle is a breed with typically very mild dispositions. Training beagles is a bit of a challenge, if only because they are smart AND stubborn, but I crate-trained 5 beagles in about two weeks. Beagles do live with their noses, so we have had to be careful about not letting them sneak out the front door, but other than that and a real interest in the pantry, i've never had any problems. They may be stubborn, but they learn fast and they are real "people-pleaser" dogs. I'd recomend contacting Beagle Rescue of Southern MD- they foster dogs all over MD and VA and are really amazing about placing the correct dog in the correct family- they allow you to come and play with the dog as much as you want in a safe setting, and if it doesn't work out, they take the dog back, no questions asked. They get to know their dogs before they allow them to be adopted, and are a great resource if you're looking for a crate-trained, kid-friendly dog. They are very honest about their dogs. Many rescue agencys are not- you really do need to be careful when it comes to rescueing a dog. some will need a LOT more training than others. But if you visit a dog a few times, you will easily be able to tell what kind of background it has and what amount of work you'll need to do. I've found that the beagles I've fostered were all hunting dogs, therefore they were used to living in a crate, so the training part was easier than I thought. Understand that puppies are much MUCH more work than an older dog. Good for you for "looking" first! Let me know if I can help in any way! :) good luck!

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J.H.

answers from Richmond on

Hi A.,

Sometimes it's hard to blatantly give my opinion, but since I know that's what you're looking for, I'd say don't get a dog. I have one, that I had (and loved) for years before having a baby... now I often wish I din't have him. Which makes me feel horribly guilty as he's been a great companion for many years... but it's SO hard to have him ( a mutt, probably around 8 or 9 years old) with the baby. He requires time, attention and love too. Just like the baby! And there is ALWAYS rishk with an animal around children. So, I say wait til your child is older 5-6-7? at least so he ucan understand how to treat the dog, behave around the dog etc... even help out with feed/water and walking the dog. Pets can be great lessons/teachers for kids- but OLDER kids. Don't stress yourself out unnecesarily.

Sorry for typos!
Jen

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