ADD Or ADHD Kids (Parents Of)

How old is he? Our son was getting medical help at three because his behavior was so extreme (was kicked out of preschool at that age). We started off getting tips from a child psychologist, then moved on to a behavioral therapist and finally the child psychiatrist, who made all the difference in the world with medication.

The AAP just came out and said it's fine to diagnose kids as young as four now, which is going to be so, so helpful. There really are cases, our son included, where the kids are truly a neon sign for having the condition.

I agree with many of the suggestions below. Push for getting the medical help, number one, and also look at the websites for ADDitude magazine and CHADD. Both have really useful information about the condition.

Don't expect miracles. You can try various rewards and consequences programs, but expect them to work short-term. Kids with ADHD aren't going to stay focused on any specific program for a long time. We did a marble rewards jar when our son would have good days at school. He was really, really motivated at first and we made it easy for him to earn rewards (as in, if marbles go into the jar and reach a small level today, you get a reward). But it lost steam over time.

Kaiser had us use the 1-2-3 Magic system for discipline. The concepts were good but just didn't work on our son until he was on medication. It may be worth a try, though.

Don't waste time on dietary changes, ADHD vitamins, detoxing chemicals in the house, or any "natural" supposed treatments for ADHD. It's a brain disorder and the medical specialists are the best way to go. If your child was diagnosed with a vision problem, you wouldn't try to wing it and correct it yourself and the same should apply here. Zero scientific evidence any "natural" paths work (although Omega 3 supplements show promise in mild inattentive only cases ... we're giving them to our son, but honestly not seeing any change, probably because he's an extreme case). Read up on ADHD through reliable sources before taking any steps on your own. You really don't want to be giving your child any unregulated products without being fully informed (supplements such as Omegas included).

If your child REALLY needs to get through an important event, give him a caffeinated soda. Caffeine is a stimulant, so it will help in a child with ADHD. Just be careful about using this too frequently, since caffeine is addictive (unlike the medications) and withdrawl symptoms are no fun (speaking from my own experience giving up coffee).

Best of luck to you as you start down this path!

My son is 5 1/2 and in Kindergarten. He was diagnosed last year, at 4. In addition to all of the wonderful things that come with a child who is going a mile a minute every waking moment (he's super smart, very social, and crack-up funny) the time between his birth and his diagnosis definitely had some real frustration for both of us.

What helps:
1) Charts, checklists, jobs. My son does well when things are well organized and he can go back to the list when he get's revved up.
2) Be consistent. Time-out works very well for my son. It makes sense to him, but it's really important that I am consistent about correcting the behavior, giving a warning, then going to time-out. At this point he probably has timeout less than twice a week... but it was several times a day when he was 3.
3)Think about yourself at that age. ADHD is apparently one of the most familial psychological disorders! Most kids with ADHD have at least one parent with the disorder. Thinking about what worked for me as a kid gives me a good place to start with him.
4) Consider medication. If it really is ADHD, avoiding medication is a little like telling a person with clinical depression to "just cheer up." My son has been on Adderal XR for a year now and HE is so much happier. He's still his charming, smart funny self, but he can keep it under control which is what we ALL want to do.

HTH
T.

READ - educate yourself! there is so much material now that will help you understand and figure out how best to work with your kiddo. When my son was in 1st grade his teacher and reading teacher very gently suggested that I have his hearing and vision checked to rule out any issues and then perhaps check out the ADHD issue. I got in the car after the conference and cried. I had wrong ideas about it . It's really not a huge thing but we like to think are children are perfect and don't have something with a label attached to it.

My son is now in 7th grade and doing really well. We decided to use medication - we have tried school with and without medication over the years and he jsut does SO much better with it - and he realizes is now that he's older. We did 2nd grade with meds, 3rd and part of 4th without. Since that time he's been on meds and we haven't looked back.

He will never be an A student - school requires too much time sitting still in quiet environments for him to learn exceptionally well. The positive is that he's very skilled with spacial perception (building, engineering, etc.) and math. He has exceptional people skills and a great sense of comedic timing. He will be very successful in life - although school is never going to be where he shines.

Every kid has special skills and talents - some are geared to the school environment and some are not. If we lived 150 years ago or more when kids learned everything they needed to know at thier parent's side (ranching, farming, building, etc.) our ADHD kids would not be considered to have any kind of learning issues. The artificial environment that is the classroom is just not well suited to our kids.

good books: the Gift of ADHD, Delivered from Distraction
good authors regarding learning styles: Cynthia Tobias, Mel Levine

BTW - we tried the Feingold food plan. It wasn't a bad thing - but it wasn't enough to clearly help him. It was expensive, it was really hard for him to follow when all the kids around him were eating anything they wanted. The results were so slight and nebulous that I really couldn't say for sure if there was an improvement. So for us that it just wasn't worth the effort and cost. I do know people who swear by it. I've had a couple of Feingold kids in my sunday school classe and frankly, I couldn't tell the difference between before & after...

Good luck mama. ADD/ADHD are not a bad thing - and can end up being amazing. All the ADHD kids I know are highly intelligent - and I know a few adults who grew up with these labels as children who are now wildly successful.

My son was diagnosed at 4 1/2 with ADHD and later as bipolar. So if you really think he has it then it's a matter of finding a Dr who will listen, it took me calling close to 20 in a 50 mile radius from us to find one! And as far as the diets go I'm sure they work for some but it's not a instant fix if they work at all, my sons always eaten organic/glutnen free foods with very little sweets and the treats he gets are usally gluten/dairy free brownies, and he's still was extreamly ADHD. Currently we are not using meds to treat his ADHD because of his bipolar he cant take them, they make him super agressive. But he does see a behavior therapist once a week and at the very least I would reccomend finding one, they will really work with your child to help them learn how to control the impulsives. Good luck with your child :)

They just lowered the age to four. I don't know how old your son is. My kids all have ADD since both my ex and I are on the spectrum.

Before they started school I let them be kids. I grew up with ADD and I can assure you school will beat them down. Don't put that on them until you have to. :)

Oh, yes, reading another post, you could use the time to find the right doctor. I swear to you the right doctor makes all the difference in the world. My older two had an amazing doctor who moved out of state when they were in fourth and sixth grade. We tried to find another doctor but hated them all so my kids chose to go off their meds and structure themselves. Thankfully they pulled it off, both are adults now.

Don't know how close La Grange is from St Louis but my younger two see Dr Constantino, he is an amazing doctor who does research through Washington University School of Medicine! Oh and he has a two year wait to get in!

My daughter is 12 and is ADD and son is 9 and is ADHD. Both are completely different! My son is on meds but my daughter isn't. The thing that really helps us is to have a schedule and stick to it! We do the exact same things on the exact same days, every day. They go to bed at the same time every day too. And I really have had to get on the school and remind them they have a DISABILITY, it is not all behavior and they are to HELP them. And they do, but I stay on top of them constantly. I just found a book at Goodwill called "Helping Your Hyperactive/ADD Child" by John F Taylor. So read up on it, you can google it and tons of articles come up. Good luck!!!

The ADHD Workbook For Parents by Harvey C. Parker, PhD, has a lot of good tools. It's a good resource even if your kid does not have the disorder. I am a parent of an ADHD kid, but I think the disorder is highly overdiagnosed, and am concerned that more children will be unnecessarily medicated now that they've lowered the official age for diagnosis. The fact is that early education is increasingly structured in ways that are difficult for energetic young children, and instead of changing the structure, we're medicating the kids.

I was very resistant to our diagnosis, until I found a diagnostician I trusted - Dr. John Hosterman, in Wilmette IL. I cannot recommend him highly enough. He's very conservative and thorough. A good pediatrician and a collaborative relationship with your child's teachers/caregivers are also essential. But please don't assume it's a disorder right out of the gate. If he's not ADHD, the medication is not going to help, and may cause addtional problems in the long run.

Look at the Feingold Diet! It's amazing and has helped us SO much and has changed SO many families lives. Sure you can ask your doctor and they are going to say that it doesn't work, but let me tell you, it does, amazingly well...if you follow it 100%. Most people are not willing to do it that far or find that they have other foods still to remove. Take a look at the site and then immediately remove everything that has artificial dyes, flavors, sugars or the preservatives BHA, BHT & TBHQ. You may want to also take out things with annatto as it can be preserved bad. Also remove salicylates (you'll find the list on the website). It's very hard to deal with ADHD, my DD and DH have it. Feingold has helped us tremendously and there are tons of other parents that will tell you the same thing. The artificials are neurotoxins. PM me with any other questions.

H.

Consistency is the biggest thing with adhd kids. my son was diagnosed at 5. in his kindergarten classroom we were told that the teacher had the extreme kids in the district and he was her extreme lol but make sure you are consistent with everything. bedtime, meal times, consequences for misbehaviors etc.