Add/adhd/bipolar?? He's Not Even 3Years Old Yet!

Updated on March 05, 2007
M.T. asks from Amsterdam, NY
30 answers

After I typed this I realized it is really long, BUT I REALLY NEED SOME HELP!!

I really need some help understanding this whole evaluation process thing my son will be going through.
He's only 2, will be 3 in Feb., and has been having a lot of behavioral issues at daycare. They 'suggested' I have him looked at. I had my first initial meeting with Karner Psychological Associates out in Guilderland yesterday, and now I'm wondering what we got ourselves into.
For the past month the daycare and I have been exchanging a notebook back and forth, keeping track of my son’s behavior and such. I showed it to the doctor at the appointment and also answered his questions. What scares me is I've always thought my son’s behavior was a little hyper, but normal for a 2 year old...well I guess not.
The doc starts throwing out terms such as ADD, ADHD, Bipolar...what the heck? Then he said for the next interview I'm not allowed to even observe it whatsoever. Not even through a mirror or anything. He expects my son to go into a strange room, in a strange building, with a complete stranger, FOR AN HOUR without me being able to monitor at all. I'm a little concerned about my son’s safety...even if this guy is a doctor.
Does anyone know if this is normal? My son being secluded like that? I called other providers and they don't allow monitoring either. Am I being over protective?
WHAT ELSE SHOULD I GET PREPARTED FOR? WHAT ELSE IS TO BE EXPECTED?

Addition 1-12-07:
I do not appreciate reading about me and my priorities. My sons do not get any less attention than a normal child would in a regular household. They have had me from 3pm EVERY DAY till 8-9p when they go to bed. If anything I'd say that's more time than any normal child would have with a working single mother who held a 9-5 job.
My work and school didn't start till last week. Now I do both work and school between the hours of 8:30a and 5p M-F, and then they have me till 8-9p when they go to bed. I do my 2nd job and the rest of my studies after they are asleep. I do not want to hear lashing at me not giving time to my children. They spend as much time with me as a mom who worked a regular 8-5 job during the week, if not more. Life does stay busy, but it doesn't cut into their time with me.

I do appreciate though the replys about the process. I know he is young, and this is what has concerned me. I will take one advise and wait for a decision after hearing what this first doctor says.

We go for his evulation on January 18th, so here's hoping!!

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So What Happened?

Well, on 1-18 we went to the evaluation. The guy didn’t give me any chance to ask any questions, be involved in anything or whatever whatsoever. He took my boy and left. They came back 45 minutes later. I asked him to let me know something and the only thing the guy would say was that my insurance provider denied his requests for testing. Then he kept saying we will discuss everything at our next appointment. He wouldn’t answer a SINGLE question for me. He kept throwing in my face the insurance and our next appointment. Well, I got mail from my insurance carrier the next day stating that they will not cover any of this billings as he is requesting testing which a 2 year old would not be able complete anyways. I have canceled service with that guy because if the insurance company says my son is not able to compete the testing, why is the guy ordering it. Plus since they are not covering his bills, they are automatically being billed to me, and I CAN NOT afford that.
I have called the local school district and they are going to get me into an intervention program for my boy and see where that goes from there…free of charge.

Here’s hoping for the best.

More Answers

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M.M.

answers from New York on

Hi M., first day care providers are not doctors some of them shouldn't even be working with children quick example where i live at in Staten Island there's a girl i saw grow up but she never got pass high school she had a baby at around the age of 17yrs old which BCW took away from her and her mother i was shocked when she was working in a daycare taking care of other peoples babies when she couldn't take care of her own sad isn't it! but a child of 2yrs of age are always hyper running getting into things its normal for me i'm a mom and a grandma i'm 55yrs old i raised my children my grankids and other peoples kids My son which is 19yrs old he has seizure disorder but to his electrograms he gets i'm there in the same room with him it doesn't sound good what you are saying he is a small child and even though he is normal he will react poorly towards strangers even though life is busy you must act upon this issue if it was my child i would not go to the appt take him out of daycare make other arrangements like i tell my daugters now a days i think some doctors work on commission because they say you have diseases that are not there pls do your best on this because once medication is giving there's no way out and you know your child better then anyone else keep in contact with me

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K.

answers from New York on

Hey there M.,
You will have to continue to observe and get the advice of doctors still, but I must caution you to not to jump to any extreme treatments until you are absolutely sure that he has a "problem."

Why do I say this . . . well, the fact is that my nephew, now almost 7, was SUCH a difficult, out of control boy. He gave everyone problems and his mother, my sister, was at her wits end. She said to me, "he is surely hyperactive and needs to be on medication," and he was only 4 or 5 years old. So they planned on testing him for ADD or ADHD.

Needless to say, it did not happen immediately and my sis just kept fielding the impulsive behavior of her son. Impulsive beyond what you would think . . . talking in class when the teacher was talking, running down the hall just because he could, instigating his sisters and hitting them, stamping on Christmas present toys and sulking in the corner because he could not get his way. He just seemed frustrated with life and family. This is actually just a few of the lesser instances.

Recently, however, my sister got a letter from his 1st grade teacher. Seems she wants him tested for the gifted children's program because she feels that he simply is not challenged enough by his current situation. We are awaiting the results to see if he indeed gets into this program, and if so, it explains a lot about why he was behaving so extremely. He needs the right environment and the right people around him to set the limits he needs to properly function according to "societal standards" (I could go on about that.)

Anyhow, I guess what I am saying is that as long as he is not causing you, himself or anyone else any real harm, give him some time. Be patient and see what happens. If you don't like the approach they have to diagnose him, than get another opinion or two or three.

Go with your instinct, it is stronger than you know. If it tells you you are on the right track to finding a comfortable solution to your sons "issues" than that is what is right for you and your family.

Good luck, it will work out!

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B.D.

answers from New York on

Okay Mom lets get started,
My daughter has ADHD and have been having issues since she was born. I understand you need do some of these things but you may have to put the college to a side for now until you go to a Neurodevelopmental Specialist-(Bipolar is really heavy especially he is only two) I also have a step-son w/ ADHD and I have Early Intervention in my area with my two-year old because of the family history. I would not let that doctor do anything-because your son will be three next month early intervention unable to assist however they can talk to you about counseling/Specialist for assistance. Also, you may have to sit back at the daycare and see what is your son doing-screaming on floor, always having fits when he does not get his way. Is he disruptive, destructive, and disobedient always. This is the kind of behavior for Bipolar (Sweet the next minute and then where is this kid coming from) Please talk to Early Intvention first in your area, then Neurodevelopmental Specialist. After you receive all of that and you have observe your son's behavior at the Daycare then change his diet before any medication or any warranted diagnosis. This inital process will take some weeks but please hold off on sending your son to the lions den because when my daughter was 3 they wanted to send her to a school with children that has multiple disorders-(Children biting, hitting there head on the wall) you know children will mimic the behavior of their surrounding.
That is why you need to observe his at the daycare first.

B.

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E.B.

answers from New York on

Really, people are crazy! What do they expect this little boy to do? It's normal for 2-3 year olds to be a bit difficult at times and be into everything at once, but people in this country are just getting used to getting everyone medicated because that's the easy way out!

If there really is some kind of issue, I'd start by doing trhe following:
1. cut out ALL sugar (and don't replace it with artificial sweeteners, they are worse for his health).
2. Replace refined grains with unrefined ones.
3. Make sure all his food is cooked from scratch and doesn't come out of a can or a box.
4. When you do cook, make sure you avoid MSG (monosodium glutamate) and artificial flavors.
5. Take him to a kinesiologist or a chiropractor trained in CRA (Contact Reflex Analysis) to get him tested for imbalances and allergies. You can find one at www.cra.org.

No matter what, do not give in if they want you to put him on psychotripic drugs. They are just a patch, not a cure and have serious side effects.

I wish you and your little boy all the best and hope this gets resolved quickly!

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N.K.

answers from Rochester on

Hi there mom.I would never leave my son alone with someone he does not no for any amount of time!No matter what you cant trust anyone in our days!I have 3 boys and I would not leave them with any one we dont no.As a parent we have to be over protective of our children there are to many people from all jobs that have hurt kids!!!!!On myspace I have a link with missing children and everyday I repost bulletins of the saddest cases!Please go with your heart and not with someone you dont no!!!!!

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D.S.

answers from New York on

I dont know who these people are but that is not of proper practice. yes you should not be directly there in all cases but you are allowed to observe what they are doing with your child. I would not allow this at all. 15 years in the medical field backs my knowlege on this. My twins have adhd and I do too and never ever have I heard of this. if they perscribe medication please research the side effects before giving it. if you need anymore help please write me. Good Luck and God Bless...

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N.F.

answers from New York on

Well god bless you for stretching yourself so thin. Wow and with 2 sons too!? I admire you. What I don't admire are these doctors that diagnos children at such a young age so that they can make money off of a prescription. Do not let this doctor give your child any medication..Children are hyper...active...unruly...that is normal..they probably just need some one on one time with you and because your so busy their not getting the attention..all they need is attention..find a way to give it to them.

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G.I.

answers from New York on

Hi M., Well I just read your follow up & in a way, I think it's good they didn't test your son until you have more answers and are more comfortable. I understand what you're going through. I researched ADD(which from what I recall, ADHD & ADD will now fall under one name: ADD) for weeks recently when they wanted to dianosis my 8-yr old neice w/ADD (her Dad died in front of her, a month later her Mom took off & the therapists & school counsleors are all puzzled "what's wrong with her"? Must be ADD). You can look up (google) "DSM IV". This is where the doctors get their diagnosis from. They have a list of "symptoms" to choose from before they can make the final diagnosis. I don't recall, tho, reading anything about being in a room alone... it would seem they should at least allow you to view from a 2-way mirror. "Google" helped me alot, again tho,I spent many hours, days, weeks...researching & reading through all the information. What I learned is it is too often MIS-diagnosed. The schools & doctors (sometimes much like police are quick to solve a crime) they too want to "solve" & move on. ADD has become the quick fix label. What I found is the symptoms for ADD can also be the SAME symptons for a ton of other things. Food allergies, or believe it or not.. a middle ear problem, the list goes on.. If you'd like I can pull up the info I have saved & send it to you? I've been fighting them on labeling my neice ADD when I'm sure it's "post traumatic stress" & would do anything to avoid her taking any of the medications associated w/ADD (Ridlin). The last I heard, my neices choices are to be left back OR accept the ADD label so she can get extra help in school! I'm in contact with The Sylvan Learning Center & we'll see how that goes. In the meantime, let me know if you'd like I can send the info I found in my research. Good luck & God Bless! Georgette

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C.C.

answers from New York on

Try all natural Synaptol. It is my saving grace. My 14yr old was diagnosed over 8 years ago. Visit the website and read about this product. My son has been taking it for a short period, and OH MY GOD!!! What an IMPROVEMENT. Trust me, all those different pills they have given him in the past made him more aggressive and the ADHD, Biopolar and ODD stood out like a sore thumb... Their website is www.micronutra.com!
Good Luck, I know what you're going through! C.

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K.B.

answers from Jamestown on

I am a mother of a 7 going on 8 year old boy. Who's son has been diagnosed with ADHD when he was 5 years old. I believe that he has been diagnosed wrongly. They are now trying to tell me that he might be awtistick. I don't believe he is either. When he started kindergarden the principle wanted to pull him out of school because how he was acting, but they didn't because of his size. I also went to school with him in kindergargen so someone would be there for him when he acted up pluse working third shilf. What they think is good for your child is probably not good for you or your child. He is now in second grade. Like yourself myself and his TSS are keeping track of his behavior in a notebook. She never writes about the good things that he does just the bad things, which is not right. I fired one of his TSS's and I plane on firing more if need be. Monkey see monkey do, that is the way some kids are. They do what ever other kids do.

Your 3 going on 4 year old is boy correct? Boys will be boys. He his probably still going threw his terrible 2's. You can not take a child and shove him into a classroom full of other child and except he to adjust. Give him time to adjust. If he gets fustrated and can not do what is expected of him, yes it is possible he is going to have issues, everyone does.

I also suggest that if they say to put him on medication is to refuse it expectially Riddlyn. It is the worst medicine, it is addictive an puts the child into a stupper to the point where they won't learn.

I apoogize if I have just rattled on by I should be sleeping because i wourk third shift. So I hope that you can make sence of what I am trying to tell you. I wish you good luck.

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E.S.

answers from Buffalo on

A child can't be diagnosed with ADHD/ADD at this age...get a second opinion.! FAST!

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J.V.

answers from Binghamton on

I can't believe someone would leave anything but a helpful response. Until anyone has walked in your shoes, none of us should pass judgement. I was a single mom at one time, and now I'm juggling a family with 3 kids and a job.
So anyway, I went through something similar with my son in kindergarten. I was getting notes from his teacher, who very tactfully put it, that my son was having "very active" days. It was actually disruptive and we had a conference about it. I really didn't know what to do so I took him to his pediatrician, who promptly told me that he had adhd and needed meds. Regretfully I took the advice, and had my son on the drugs for about 6 weeks. While his behavior did improve, he wasn't the same kid anymore, with one kind of medication he was highly emotional and on the other he was eerily adult like. I asked the pediatrician if there was anything else that I could be doing for him at home and he said no, I will just need to increase the meds periodically (indefinitely). So I weaned him off the drugs. Since then I have done some research and found that certain things take the edge off the hyperactivity. One thing is sleep. I changed my sons bedtime from 8:30 to 7 or 7:15. Now I know it's difficult to get dinner, bath and bed in by that time, but bathtime, dinner time, and bedtime storytime are all quality times. Another thing is diet. I'm not saying feed him nuts and berries, but watch what he's eating and drinking. Try to cut out any sugary snacks and drinks, maybe save the treats for a special movie night or something. And the last thing was a vitamin supplement, Flax seed oil and Fish oil (omega 3) these come in liquid capsules. I would pierce the flax seed oil and squeeze it into some applesauce. I also asked a coworker (who had been diagnosed adhd as kid) how the vitamins made him feel and he told me it took the edge off and helped him focus, but it takes a few weeks to notice a change.
As far as the daycare situation goes, he's 2 years old, for crying out loud. Are they expecting all kids to have the same level of self control, I'll say it again , he's 2!! Good luck.

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J.F.

answers from New York on

I had to reach out to you. Like you my daughter started exhibiting behavioral problems at school at age 2 and was on the verge of being thrown out of nursery school and actually being thrown out of DayCamp at 3 y/o. I had so much difficulty finding a program that fit my life goals, objectives and priorities. I finally found a program which is all natural. The theory is that children with these type of ADD/ADHD etc have what we call a brain imbalance in which one side of their brain is overstimulated and the other side is understimulated. She has since been diagnosed with ADHD and Sensory Disorder (Reaction to bright light, noise, uncomfortable clothing etc...) She know goes to 3 sessions a week in which they stimulate the underdeveloped side through exercise and stimulation. They also found a severe Milk allergy through blood testing and since eliminating all milk and milk proteins from her diet her behavior is 300 times better. I have to tell you since starting this program I have gone from daily phone calls and weekly meeting from school to No phone calls. Of course she is a child and has ups and downs but she is completely changed child with no medication. I also would like to add that I am a Pediatric Nurse and have done countless hours of research and cosulted with many pediatricians, child psychologists and pediatric neurologists and these type of programs are becoming the gold standard in treating these disorders. Check your area for programs geared to brain balance and childhood food allergies. If you need any help please feel free to contact me. Good luck......

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G.G.

answers from New York on

M., I'm not sure how "uncontrolable'your 2 year old actually is but I also have a 2 year old little boy (going on 3 in Feb.) and he is a very active, outgoing and energetic child. Honestly though, I would be worried if he wasn't as active as he is. Teachers nowadays are very quick to say "something is wrong with your child" or "you need to have him checked out" instead of taking time to deal with the more active kids. Every kid is different in their own special ways whether active or not. Again, I don't know your situation obviously but I am almost positive that your son is just fine...as normal as a little boy his age could be. Like I said my son is VERY active and what works for me may or may not work for you. I keep my son very busy and when he acts up I redirect his attention to something more productive.

Bottom line....Please don't let anyone tell you your son ISN'T 'normal' (whatever that means). Good luck!

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N.V.

answers from New York on

I'm not sure about what you should expect, but perhaps if you asked the doctor exactly WHY you can't at LEAST observe your son, as long as he thinks you are not there, maybe you'll understand it a little better. Talk to the doctors that he's seeing and find out from them what the steps are to diagnosing this problem. My cousin is ADD and for a long time before being diagnised school was a nightmare for him... once he was diagnosed and treated(though i don't know if a agree with a lot of the medications out there) he really seemed to do better, to the point where even HE agreed to feeling better about himself. I'd also look at ALL the kinds of treatments out there, and not just any one that a doctor recomends... many medications for ADD,ADHD, & Bi-polar disorder have unwanted side effects such as weight gain, or even making them seem A LOT less like their happy selves and more like a robot that does what's needed and nothing more. I don't beleive you are being to over-protective, I would have the same feelings of protectiveness and worry that you have.

Hopefully this has helped a little
-N.

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D.S.

answers from Rochester on

I am just wondering with your busy schedule when you spend time with your children? He sounds to me like he is reacting to stress. It may be that what he really needs is more time and attention from you. you are doing more than seems humanly possible. a full time job and college and parttime job. Children need the availability of their mother. you may need to rethink your priorities.

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L.R.

answers from New London on

Hi M..

Sounds like you are in a scary situation. My advice to you is to trust your intuition. If the process doesn't feel right to you, don't do it. There are so many other alternative options out there. I would suggest that you look into a naturopathic/homeopathic doctor in your area and maybe they can point you in a direction that is more comfortable to you and your son. Also, research is showing that diet plays a huge role in behavior. How is your son's diet? Some kids are more sensitive to food than others.

Although it is somewhat time consuming, you might want to try a gluten casein free diet with him. There is plenty of info available on the internet. Something as simple as a diet change may make a huge difference. If you need support, feel free to reach out to me.

Hope this helps.
Best wishes to you and your family.

L.

C.

answers from Hartford on

Please don't listen to anyone that says "he can't be diagnosed that early." I may have once said that if I had not gone through the process. As doctor's get better at diagnosing they have come to recognize the signs of a problem earlier & earlier. As a result, the early intervention has greatly reduced the long term effects of these children. As for the daycare not knowing what they are talking about - if your son is a room of 10-15 other children that do not behave like him, then your son's behavior is atypical. You are fortunate that your daycare provider had the insight to say something. Having added my two cents, I will get back to your questions. The doctor you spoke with threw out some strong terms, but don't make yourself crazy until you get a diagnosis. It may be as simple as a diet change. As for not letting you observe, this is standard practice, but not mandated. That is, you may want to find someone that will let you observe. I am from central CT, so I can't recommend anything local, but there are places around here that do day long testing with parents in the room some of the time or observing from a window other times. I would be wary to let my son do it alone. Finally, I agree with one of the other posts that you should consider a Neurodevelopmental specialist rather than a psychologist for a variety of reasons that I would be willing to discuss outside of this post. In any case, good luck & don't worry.

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R.S.

answers from New York on

I have no experience with behavioral issues, but as a mother, a child that young should never be taken anywhere that the parent is not allowed to observe. I believe that there has to be another road to figuring out what is going on with your son. I do not believe you are being overprotective in anyway. Although your son may be exhibiting questionable behavior he is still a young child. If he is not able to clearly express himself to you and say mommy this is what happened in that room, you need to be present in some way. If doctors can diagnose ADD/ADHD and Bipolar at 2 they ought to come up with a process of diagnosing that child while the parents observe.

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L.Q.

answers from New York on

Hi M.,
I have 2 boys ages 12 and 14. One is Bipolar and the other is ADHD. I have been through it. It sounds to me from experience that you need to change daycare. I think that diagnosing at 3 is way too early. My son was diagnosed at 5 when he was in Kindergarten. At 3 these kids should be playing and developing life skills. Any 3 year old is going to have problems sitting still and paying attention. It is normal for a child to go through stages. As for the Evaluation I would never allow a child that young to go into a room with a complete stranger like that. When both of my sons were evaluated I was able to watch through a mirror. They do not want you in the room because your presence changes the way he will respond. As far as your time spent with your kids it sounds to me like you are doing the best you can. Don't listen to anyone but yourself. I have many books about Biopolar disorder and from what I remember it is very hard to diagnose a child so young, He would have to have extreme symptoms. Often ADD/HD and Bipolar go hand in hand. I have a great Pediatric Neurologist that we see in White Plains who specializes in these disorders, if you are interested. I relly think that you need to wait it out a while longer untill he gets a little older. Do you have problems with his anger and actions at home? Because his problems will show at hone also and you will be the first to know.
Good luck
L.

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C.

answers from New York on

Hi,

Boy I would like to know what A two year old is doing that would warrant a bipolar diagnosis? I am not sure I would be so willing to label a child of that age with this, because the next step is heavy duty medicine. Is this doctor qualified to look at your child? Are you sure its not a developmental disability, some kind of learning challenge? Its not that unusual for them to take a child out of the room to look at them as long as it is not to long. They want to see how they react without the mother around, but I would be careful in case they are thinking he may be abused in some way.

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L.T.

answers from New York on

Hi M.,
I can totally relate to what is going on with your son! I have 2 children, My son was born first and then my daughter 19 months later! It was very difficult for my son to accept having another baby in the house and actually at 19 months as soon as my daughter was born he started to exhibit signs of hyperactivity! We delt with it the best we could. I at the time was a stay at home mom and took care of the kids during the day. I watched other children in my home and on several occaisions my son would bite and throw temper tantrums. I thought it was quite normal for a 2 year old but of course everyone else was making a big deal of it. A few years passes and my son started kindergarten (never went to pre-school). Probably the biggest mistake I ever made was to send him to a Catholic school, (too regimented)! On the first day of school I recieved a note home from his teache that he was being hyper and disturbing the class (what a nightmare)!!!! Many note followed. In second grade he was tested and classified ADHD. Agaisnst my husbands wishes I agreed and put him on Adderall. I can honestly tell you that it did NOTHING for his behavior...it just made him lose weight and not be able to sleep and vomit. My heart was breaking!!!! We bought a house and moved to a different school system and finally got him into public school, my only regret is he didn't start there. W had problems there too but there are so many different programs to help. I took my son off of the medication after about 6 months. I was very rough! Some kids have harder times adapting to change and act out in different ways. I have to tell you that my son is now 16 going on 17. He has grown up to be such a great kid without the meds. I am by no means saying it was easy. We work on the merit system. It seems to work very well. The classified label stays with him but the township I live in (Ewing) has a program set up for kids just like him. It works out very well. He goes to Sypek Technical school and does extemely well with hands on projects (honors) in Vo tech! School is still difficult for him he problems with anger and staying focused but it is possible to raise a smart healthy BOY without meds. PATIENCE! PATIENCE! PATIENCE! I wish you luck and your sons personality is just developing hate to see someone try to talk you into medication at such a young age!!! Best of luck and take care of your precious boy!!!

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N.A.

answers from New York on

Hey If you feel funny about leaving your 2 yr old with a stranger---- doc or not!! that don't do it! and anothe rthing it is a little funny for a doc to start spitting out terms like add adhd before he even properly evaluated him. Just be careful doc's noadays try and label every kid and drug them up. so if you don't see a problem with your 2 yr old boy--- then don't worry what ANYONE else thinks! who the hell are they anyway! And you know what, I thik a doctor could diagnos any 2 yr old boy hyper !! all boys are. Good luck, just go with what you feel and what is in your heart---- becuase mommy's are usually right. Oh and by the way---- kids can't be diagnosed with add or adhd before the age of 6 I believe so don't let these daycare and doc people flip you out. I wouldn't feel confortable letting anyone with my daughter alone ---- it is just tooo freaky god knows what could happen and a 2 yr old isn't old enough to properly express if, God forbid, something did happpen.

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B.S.

answers from Rochester on

Hi M.. I am sorry if people are having you feel that this is your fault. My middle boy was diagnosed with ADHD by his 3rd birthday. I knew that there was something wrong although I didn't know what it was. He would get into stuff all of the time. I couldn't go to a friend's home as he would get into their drawers, cupboards, etc. acting really curious. He was just always on the go. My biggest issue was trying to get him to focus on me. I would literally take his face in my hands and say look at me. He couldn't always do this. I tried the "Fine Gold diet" where you remove food colorings (expecially RED!), artifical preservatives, etc. from the diet to see if it made a difference...with him it didn't. I had him checked out on the recomendation of my babysitter...then primary dr. and then an evaluation by a pediatric specialist. He ended up on Ritalin and it was the first time that I saw my son actually relax. The explanation that was given to me is that he lacked something in his "make up" which the Ritalin basically put back there. He would have to keep himself revved up in order to function. With the medicine, he could relax. I am NOT pro-medication. My son was diagnosed with numerous...NUMEROUS diagnosis over the years from learning disabilities to behavior/depression/emotional issues. I have viewed these first hand and he was on the various medications in order for him and our home life to function. It is easier having someone to back you up. I have had the single mom lifestyle with him and it was very very hard. I know that there were nights when I cried myself to sleep because I just didn't know what to do, where to turn. Help is out there. He is now 16...soon to be 17 and a junior in high school. He has attended a "special school" for the past 5 years due to behavior issues but it has been very positive for him and he doesn't display any bad behavior there. I am not at all saying that your son will also have these same issues. This is just a bit of what I have gone through and the first 6 years it was alone as his dad thought that he was just a normal boy and that the school, day care, and others just didn't know what they were talking about. The first 6 years of a kids life are the most important in that this is supposed to be where they absorb their learning skills, etc. the most. I am here anytime if you want to talk or to send me an email. Best of luck@

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R.M.

answers from Albany on

hi my name is R. and i also have a son with a behavior disorder who is three but at 2 and 3 it is two young to establish a an order such as add adhd and such. the child is still developing and needs to find whys to express themselves and controll there world, doctors and schools are quick to slap labels on children. Perscriptions special classes aids there is big money in children with disorders and when i said my son has a disorder i ment that he is unsure on how to act and needs to learn and have guidence from us they arent born preprogramed. Take you time you know you son best of all and hes only 2 there is time to grow. study diffeerent doctors call different health professionals you need to feel that you child is getting the best help and remember doctors are humans as well they dont have all the answers. i would try a behavioral theripist talk to your sons primary about albany med behavioral therapy on claria barton drive, thats the one im going to be using.

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L.S.

answers from Jamestown on

Hi my name is L. i'm the mother of 4 small children i have a 6 year old daughter who has been through what your son is going through she has Bipolar and it's a very scary thing to have your child go through the test but he will be fine they are very good with childern of that age. my daughter has been going through this sence the age of 3 and she is now on the right track to being a good kid....so if you need some more help understanding whats going on i'll will help you

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D.A.

answers from New York on

My son has been hyperactive since he was born. At one years old
the babysitter recommended having a psychologist come into our
home to observe our household. I did not think that they were
qualified enough to evaluate a child at that age. Progressively, by age 4 he had been terminated from 3 day cares
for aggressive behavior. He was later evaulated at age 5 at a
medical facility with the doctor and myself present at all times. He is now 9 and thoughout the years he has been a challenge. He has been placed in a Child Study /IEP program at
school. He has been improving without medication, he is not as
hyper but is disruptive to classmates, teachers and friends.
He does have the ability to reason with behavioral modification
techniques and strong authority figures. Recently, he has been
dismissed from his after school babysitter for his behavior.
He impulsively reacts to situations, however he does not hit
as often, but still is verbally incorrect.
My dilema is finding day care that can handle this child.

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T.G.

answers from New York on

Hi Im sorry that you have to go through this. Do you think your son might be a little jealous of the baby? Does he ever ask to be babied in a way or acting like a baby. Some kids are still so little to understand and he knows that he was the only one before. Once the baby gets a little older and your son can interact with him more I think things will calm down. Sometimes children act out in different ways when babies are born. We are working on our second and are scard to death how our daughter will act because she seems to get jealous, even when her dad is around. She only wants mommy.

With the dr, the reason they want to evaluate him alone is becasue with the mother or father there it tends to influence the child to act a different way. This way they can observe your child without outside influences. I highly doubt that they will harm him in any way. If you have time try to call better business burea and find a way to see how legitimate this Dr is and any reviews thats someone might have.

Also how many kids are in your sons class? Kids pick up bad behaviors sometimes when they are at daycare. Did he act this way before daycare or after he was going for awhile? I think it is still too young for them to diagnose any kind of condition and I have a very hyper, independent little girl. And all my dr said is that she is normal. There is so much more in this world then when we were kids and they like to explore, etc. She just said my daughter was normal and kids just are more hyper.

God I am writing a lot I just remembered one more thing does he get any drinks or foods with red dye? I remember my mom telling me that one of our friends when we were little was allergic to red dye and once removed from her diet she was different. So honestly maybe something is in the food. I would try to rule out all other cases before giving him such a big diagnosis. But thats just me. Hope I didn't say anything offensive and I do hope everything works out for you. You are busy but working hard to give your kids a better life in the future.

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D.R.

answers from New York on

Hi
I know how you feel my son is the same age he will be 3 in Feb. He just started to go to day school for 3 hours a day and the teacher also suggeest to have him looked at because he was acting up and screaming and not playing well and following directions. which I thought was normal fora 3 year old especially since he has not been with anyone but me and his grandmother since birth . I feel like you I would be apprenhensive about sending him alone .

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D.D.

answers from New York on

M., you always have the right to a second, third and even fourht opinion. And if you are not comfortable with a procedure maybe another opinion would help. Your not being over protective, any mother would ask the same questions and feel the same way. The diagnoses that this physician is handing out are a big deal and should not be taken lightly, other clinical opinions might help.

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