A Woman's Choice of Clothing

So he can't be sexually attracted to you and find the same outfit a bit too much on another? Pretty much has no way to win, does he.

Maybe he is drawing the distinction that when YOU wear that dress, you look great and when some others wear they don't.

Are you trying to pick an argument? So what if he's inconsistent. Maybe he's just lying to make you feel better. Maybe he's trying to show his commitment to you. Maybe he's just a doofus and didn't think it all the way through. But what does it matter?

Sounds like he wants to look, and he doesn't want men like him to look at you. I think he's valuing women by how they look and not who they are or what they do, which is kind of immature. And he's also trying to control you, which is far more concerning, particularly if it occurs in other aspects of your life.

I would respond by finding a man who doesn't tell me what to wear. He's insecure. He wants to LOOK at tight clothing, but doesn't want other men to look at you. So, he dictates what you wear. Sounds like a real winner...

As we age (men and women), we need to continuously reassess what is "appropriate" for an occasion. Think of it this way... do you want to see a 50 year old man walking around in jeans hanging off of his a#* with boxers hanging out? Nope. I don't want to see that at 20 either, but it's considered "fashionable" in your 20's... sloppy after that.

In college, I thought nothing of tube tops and low slung jeans with sky-high stilettos. I was 20. At 34, it's more like a sparkly tank with boot cut jeans and sandals because going out in something that I would have worn 15 years ago... (in my not-so-humble opinion) makes a person look desperate. I'm not in my 20's anymore, so why would I attempt to look as though I am?

I don't really see where there is a need for a response. He probably thinks that those women are desperately trying to hold onto their youth and he's probably right!

he's a man!! now that he "has" you - he wants to keep you....when he sees other women dressing like that - he's a MAN!! He knows the thoughts running through HIS head!!!

So yeah...when HE'S thinking it - he KNOWS other men are thinking it!! It's that "he man" stuff.

Did you change the way you dress for HIM or did you change the way you dressed because YOU WANTED to?

He sounds controlling. Trying to dictate the way a woman dresses is usually the beginning of trying to control other aspects of her life, where she goes, who she's with, who she talks to, etc.
This would turn me off, big time, I could never be with a man like that. The reason this irks you is because this is a red flag. Listen to your gut and lose the guy now, before you get in too deep.

Why let this bother you? If he treats you like a lady and thinks you and what you wear is fantastic regardless of how you think it looks, you have a blind and adoring husband. Would you rather he look at you through a microscope?

Be grateful and be happy he likes you best. Any woman that has a husband that thinks the world of his wife is lucky. AND, any man that has a wife that thinks the world of him is extremely lucky.

BTW, most of the women I know dress for other women first, other men second, and their husbands last. IMHO, wives should dress and groom themselves for their husbands first when they are around their husbands. Husbands should dress and groom themselves for their wives. (That is, unless there is someone more important to you than your spouse.)

Count your blessings. Good luck to you and yours.

I never allowed the men in my life to control how I dressed. .

I'm 48, and my 23-year-old daughter borrows my clothes and pulls things out of her closet for me to try on.
If you can rock it, rock it.

If I'm understanding this correctly, you have two very different options, both of them reasonable.

1. You can tell your man, "Look, I have two serious problems here. First, it is not your job to scrutinize my wardrobe. It's your job to love and respect me no matter what I wear. And second, you're a married man. Get some self-control and stop ogling young girls in the street -- that's disgusting.

2. You can dress very modestly in public and wear very low-cut, tight-fitting things when you and your husband are alone together -- he's probably hinting that that's what he wants.

And, these options aren't completely incompatible. I personally would pretty much do # 1. But I wouldn't judge a woman who chose the second option harshly, same for a woman who chose some combination or balance between the two.

Woman don't dress for men, they dress for themselves. They wear things that make them feel good about themselves, their bodies, their style, their taste. Fact is, while your husband prefers one style, other men prefer another style. Don't dress for him, dress for you!

Catching him looking at women AT ALL is a red flag. Trust me. I've had one of those guys. Good men don't ogle women no matter what they're wearing.

Commenting on other people's clothes in a mean way: Not NIce. None of his business. If he was playfully making fun of stuff with you like saying "Oooohh you should get a crazy hat like that lady" it's different than insulting women he's obviously noticing for revealing clothes. I dated men in NYC for many years, and there are ALL KINDS of women EVERYWHERE. Classy men don't look or comment.

Let's pretend he's on the up and up and thinks women who attract attention with skimpy clothes are tacky. I agree with him on some level. If he said to me in private that he isn't impressed with women who try to get attention this way, it wouldn't offend me. If he didn't keeeeep on saying it as evidence he kept on looking too long that is......

But your man's dynamic sounds off to me.

My ex had an annoying habit of pointing out when women were "looking older" like actresses and stuff. He'd see one in an interview or something and go "Holy cow, she's looking old" or something. It was a weird habit he wasn't aware of. I thought it was very insulting. I told him, "It annoys me when you comment on women 'looking older' in a shocked way." He was puzzled and had no idea he was doing it so I recounted some instances and he said, "OK, I didn't mean to do that." He quit doing it.

I would tell your man you respect his opinion on liking classy dressing styles better than trampy ones, but you don't need to hear it any more and he shouldn't really worry about it. Also tell him to quit ogling when he does it. Speak up. I had to reprimand my ex for that too. He quit doing it. Your husband CAN control it. He's just getting away with it. Sounds like he has some character issues....my ex sure did. Although, we went to visit my ex in Baltimore a couple weeks ago and a SUPER va va vooom lady walked by in a plunging neckline belly shirt and tight pants and platforms and my ex didn't even look. He LEARNED to keep his eyes in check when accompanying ladies (myself and our daughters).

You need to wear what you like. I think classy clothes are always better than skanky ones, but dress for yourself, not because you're worried aout what he says. He has no business making those comments.

Do ALL women wear revealing clothing to get attention? Um. I think so. I mean some may prefer it home alone too, but they know it causes attention when they wear it out and about. I have worn revealing clothes out on hot dates to get attention from my date-knowing I was safe from all the harassment when I was with a date. Did my significant others ever want me running around like that by myself all around town? NO. But I could if I wanted, I just don't personally like the attention when I'm by myself.

You don't really give a timeline, though -- my husband loved how I dressed 20 years ago. But he wouldn't be into it now - he's older and has grown up a bit.

Why did you choose to be with him if this is how he was when you met him?

Tight and revealing is in the eye of the beholder. I see a lot of women thinking that "if it fits, it ships" should be their motto...

Have you stopped caring about the way you look? Women do not have to dress slutty to be attractive--"What Not to Wear" tv show prooves that.